Melody swallowed the words she was going to say Stryder, stepping back and staring accusingly at the man. Her disappointment welled inside her, overflowing her eyelids and coursing down her cheeks.
Dang him for making her cry. And dang it, she was crying in front of another woman who made Melody feel dowdy and unkempt. Melody didn’t say another word as she spun on her heel and rushed from the house.
Stryder didn’t need Melody – he had Candy and he had Wild Turkey.
Chapter 16
Stryder
The amber liquid taunted Stryder as it moved like molten silk in the glass. He wanted a drink so bad, but with Melody as close as she was and his promise he’d broken multiple times fresh in his mind, Stryder only stared at the drink. She was so naïve to think he’d stay away from alcohol. Stryder was so naïve and stupid to think she wanted anything to do with him.
What was he thinking all these years? Her rejection of him hadn’t been subtle. Why did he think she might still want him? Blind love? Was that even possible? How could he be so brilliant with money and business, but be so inept when it came to matters of the heart? And that’s what it was, wasn’t it? He had no training. He’d always thought he’d be with Melody, even after Clint had said Melody didn’t want Stryder anymore, even after Stryder had seen Melody with Brock – in person!, even after all of that and his letters being ignored… Stryder still longed to be with Melody.
How was that possible?
Melody had burst into his home while he’d stared into the depths of his glass, regretting things he couldn’t erase and wishing for a chance to redo others.
Something in Melody’s eyes had trapped him. He couldn’t speak as she’d caught him in the act of one more thing she had expected better of from him. Stryder had stared, frozen, as Candy came in with her condescension.
Leaving faster than she’d arrived, Melody had taken a piece of Stryder with her.
Candy put a bottle on the table and thrust a hand on her hip. “Who was that, Stryder?”
Why was Candy there? As Stryder had contemplated everything he’d discovered – Brock and Melody’s engagement, that he’d bought a flower shop he didn’t need or want, and he was stuck in a town where he’d have the love of his life on someone else’s arm every day, Candy had shown up in all her practiced glory. Her sudden arrival and the bombardment on Stryder’s senses after the calm beauty of Montana and the peaceful serenity wrapped up in being home and around Melody had been more than he wanted to deal with. The alcohol had been inevitable, or so he’d thought.
Before Stryder had been able to tell Candy he needed her to leave, Melody had shown up and then fled. Why? What did she want? Hadn’t they said everything they needed to say earlier that day? Stryder didn’t know what else she could want, unless it was goodbye. Seeing her hurt and he wasn’t ready for that raw vulnerability or the mounting shame. He’d ignored her rejected. He’d ignored so much and he couldn’t figure out why.
She’d seen him with the whiskey and his shame was laid out for all to see. Relief gave him the strength to put the drink down. He didn’t need it. He needed to get his head straight. He had to find out why she’d come.
Candy turned to face him, narrowing her eyes. With a definitive pout to her glossy red lips, Candy approached Stryder and ran her fingernails across his chest, her nails scratching on his shirt front. “Stryder, honey, who was that and why was she in your house?”
Careful not to be too impatient or rude, Stryder reached out and gripped Candy’s shoulders. “Candy, we’re not going to work. I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve never been interested. You need to take no for an answer.” Even if Melody didn’t want him, Stryder couldn’t be with someone like Candy. She didn’t appreciate starlight or twinkling lights by a creek. Her idea of hard work was how long it took to make a list for the maid.
“But I came a long way to this dirty place for you.” She pulled back from him, pressing her hand to her ample cleavage.
“Not for me. You didn’t ask me. You just did it.” Something familiar in the words smacked him in his face. Melody hadn’t asked him for a handout. All she wanted was to keep her dignity. He wanted to buy everything for her, but that wasn’t what she wanted. He could respect that. And he’d be hanged before he’d admit to anyone that that realization just made him love Melody more.
Stryder ducked his head to catch Candy’s eye. “Go home and find a guy that likes the same things you do.” She deserved to be happy. Everyone did.
She smoothed the wrinkles in her forehead and cocked her head to the side. “Do you think Trevor likes to shop?”
Stryder laughed. “Trevor? I don’t know. You should ask him.” Stryder would have to remember to give Trevor a heads up that he’d sicced Candy on him. His close friend would never forgive him.
Walking Candy to the car, Stryder waited while she climbed into the rental and drove carefully down the drive. He didn’t regret anything with Candy because he hadn’t been invested.
Turning to face Melody’s home, Stryder smiled at the sight of the light coming from her place. The power was back on. Did she know it was because of him? He furrowed his brow. If she knew, she was probably mad at him for helping where he hadn’t been asked.
Stryder took a deep breath. He hadn’t heard a vehicle drive up when Melody got there. For whatever reason, she’d walked all that way to say something, to do something. Whatever it was, she’d cared enough to make the effort. She’d cared.
Being delusional about Melody had to be a gift he had. He didn’t care. Maybe he could catch her. He had to run after her. Beg for just a chance. If that’s what he had to do, then so be it. His pride wasn’t worth anything, if he didn’t have Melody. They weren’t finished – at least he didn’t feel like they were. That had to count for something.
Grabbing onto the bucket of his hat so it wouldn’t fly off his head, Stryder took off across the field. He had to do something about her living that close. If she was going to be with Brock, maybe Stryder should build a wall or something. He couldn’t have her that close and not be his. He couldn’t handle her being in the same country when he lived in California and not be his, let alone down the street.
He slowed as he got closer to the creek. The sun had set a while back and he didn’t want to fall into the water. Pausing by the log-bridge, he caught his breath at the sight of Melody sitting on the swing, leaning her cheek against the rope holding the tire to the tree. She sniffed as if she cried and that gave him more hope than anything else could have.
A vision like her deserved better than a man like Brock Stidwell.
Did Stryder have a chance to change her mind, or had he lost everything before he’d had a chance to fight for it?
Chapter 17
Melody
Melody didn’t make it back to the house. She’d stopped by the tree and stared at the home she’d grown up in. She couldn’t go back, not right then. Dad’s betrayal was too strong at the house. Not to mention Stryder had paid for her electricity! How could she sit there in the light he paid for and not think of him?
She didn’t need that kind of pain. She claimed a seat on the swing and gave into the anger and hurt. Why had Dad lied to her? Why had Stryder? Wasn’t that what he’d done? He was drinking and she’d caught him.
“Wake up, Melody. That was a child’s promise.” Dashing away the tears on her cheeks, she sniffed. Of course, it was a child’s promise. She wasn’t stupid. But… she didn’t want anymore drinking in her life. She didn’t want that and she had thought for sure Stryder had been affected the same way she’d been by her father’s drinking growing up.
She was wrong. And the worst part wasn’t the broken promise, it was how naïve and stupid she had to seem to him that she had reminded him of it. Taking a deep breath, she leaned her head on the rope.
She could be happy with Stryder instead of having just discovered that he drank and his current love was at his house. How in the world was Melody going to live at the Steel ranch w
hile the Flints were just down the way – happy, making babies, and being a family? Making babies. She closed her eyes. The babies she had always wanted with Stryder.
Melody couldn’t. She’d never survive. She didn’t have to have a crystal ball to know she’d never make it. She’d lost too much of who she was to her father’s betrayal already. She didn’t have to lose anymore. She wiped at her continuous tears and lifted her chin. It was settled. She would still sell the house. The car and the house. She could take everything she could get and start over somewhere else – far away.
The only place she felt calm was at the tire swing. She wondered if there was some way she could take it with her. Every important memory she’d ever had of Stryder was there at the swing. He’d even broken her heart there.
Melody closed her eyes as the memory replayed itself.
Stryder’s hands were strong at eighteen and the summer sun had beat down on them both. Melody didn’t want to look directly at him, but she had to see if he was telling her the truth. She looked over her shoulder, taking in the youthful promise of masculine features and his bright brown eyes.
“I have to go, Mel.” He half-shook his head in earnestness.
She didn’t want him to leave. She needed him. “No. Why? Stay with me. I don’t graduate until next year. I won’t get into college. We don’t have the money. If you wait… I’ll go with you. I can get a job and…” She blinked back tears. She was begging him for all she was worth and she didn’t think it was working.
Her blurry vision had made it hard to see his guilty expression, but something in the way he cocked his head had told her something was off. He stopped the tire swing and turned the tire around so Melody faced him. Pulling her between his broad stance, he pulled her close. Tilting up her face with a thumb, Stryder studied her with a deep tenderness in his brown eyes. “I’m going for us. For you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t go. I promise. Things will get better.”
Her mom had left not too long ago and Melody’s feelings of abandonment were fresh. “Do you promise to come back to me?” Why would Stryder come back when her own mother hadn’t? She had the strong sense that once he left, he’d never return.
“You couldn’t keep me away.” He’d leaned down, placing his lips on hers but Melody could taste his tears with hers.
Melody had found the proof that he had tried to keep his promises – all of them. If Melody hadn’t been so proud and wrapped up in her own depression, she might have been strong enough to go after him. Find him. But it wasn’t hard to believe he’d abandoned her when her own mother had never come back.
She’d made her mistakes and she was going to have to live with the consequences. Stryder with Candy and buying up Two Rides. Just the thought was enough to make her nauseous.
Patting her thigh, Melody nodded. Yep, if she wanted to be normal without the pain of seeing them together, she had to leave. Nothing was holding her there anyway.
She ignored the questions of when Stryder had started drinking. She couldn’t examine that. He hadn’t said anything when she’d confessed and she’d been ashamed, thinking he was mad at her. Maybe he had been thinking of a way to tell her. Maybe… she had to start giving him the benefit of the doubt. Wasn’t that what she wanted from him? From anyone?
She stared at the moon still cresting the sky in the east closer to her house. She couldn’t look toward his home and see Candy and him sitting on the porch or maybe silhouetted in the window like a greeting card.
Stryder’s voice reached her before she saw him. “Mel, I…”
Inhaling sharply, Melody held up her hand, frustrated to find more tears coursing down her cheeks. She kept her back to him so he couldn’t see her shame. No. He didn’t need to see how she was hurting. “Stop. You don’t owe me anything. I understand. I get it.”
He didn’t say anything as he walked across the bridge and closed the distance between them. She couldn’t hide from him, unless she swiveled back and forth on the swing like a two-year-old. He moved into her line of sight. “But you’re mad. I can see you’re hurt.” He stepped closer, studying her in the moonlight.
Melody shook her head slowly as she tried to search out her true emotions. She had nothing to lose, so why lie? “I am hurt. I’m sad. I’m not mad, but sad, so yes, that’s true. I’m sad about everything I lost.” She had assumed he’d been judging her for breaking their drinking pact but he’d never said anything. She’d thought that on her own. She’d assumed he abandoned her without investigating further. That was on her, too.
What else was she responsible for?
Chapter 18
Stryder
Melody’s pain burned like acid on Stryder’s heart. The tears on her lashes caught the moonlight and looked like stars on her cheeks.
“I hate to see you in pain. Is this about the alcohol?” He wasn’t sure why she cared. Her future was with Brock who hadn’t hid the fact that he was a drinker. She shouldn’t care what Stryder did, with him or not.
“What happened with that? And Wild Turkey? That’s my dad’s brand. You can afford more expensive whiskey. Why…” She wiped her cheeks and sniffed. She lifted her chin and pasted a fake smile on her face as if they were just talking about the bake sale at the school.
They had to put their pride behind them. Okay, Stryder did. He had to put it all on the line. Right there. Stryder took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. “To put it bluntly, I… well, I started drinking at your dad’s. As dumb as it sounds, the whiskey reminds me of you and growing up here. I drink it and it’s like I was keeping you close.” He shrugged in embarrassment. She would laugh at him. He wanted to laugh at him.
Melody’s whisper flushed him with even more shame. “Are you an alcoholic?”
Clearing his throat. Stryder shifted his gaze to the base of the large tree and kicked his toe at a tuft of grass. “You know, I don’t think so? I haven’t had a drink since I got here. I didn’t even drink tonight. I wanted to, but… Candy… got there not long before you. I was tempted and close, but I didn’t.” He laughed at himself. “I realized I didn’t need it like I thought.”
Melody nodded, stopping herself carefully on the swing and avoiding Stryder’s gaze. Her fake smile faded and she wasn’t pretending anymore. “Yeah, Candy…”
Would she be a hypocrite that she could be happy but he couldn’t? Not that he’d be happy with Candy, but that wasn’t the point. Melody was going to say she could have someone, but Stryder couldn’t? Stryder set his jaw. “Yeah, Brock…” He tapped his cowboy hat on the side of his knee with frustration.
Small wrinkles formed in Melody’s forehead as she tilted her head to the side in confusion and raised her gaze to Stryder’s. “What about Brock?”
“Come on, Melody. You and him. The big day, remember? Sooner rather than later and all that.” Stryder rolled his left shoulder. He wasn’t comfortable showing his jealousy, but how else was he going to convince her she belonged with him? Plus, he’d been eavesdropping. There wasn’t a lot of honor in listening to other people’s conversations.
Melody scoffed, a genuine smile spreading the gentle curve of her lips. “Ah, no, me and Brock? No. He’s buying the Vette. I need the money. I’m selling the house and using the car money to leave Two Rides. I think it’s the best decision… considering…”
Not her and Brock? Elation swelled in Stryder’s chest and then deflated at the mention that she was leaving Two Rides. “Leave? Why would you leave? This is your home.” Inside, Stryder was screaming. He couldn’t come back only to lose her that fast – even if losing her had taken all those years.
“I can’t watch you and Candy move back into your old place and reign over Two Rides. I don’t have that kind of strength, Stryder.” Melody smiled softly but wouldn’t look at him. A distinct flush pinked her cheeks. Why couldn’t she? He had to know.
“Me and Candy? No, I’m sorry. I wasn’t clearer. I sent her home.” He’d never felt so helpless. “The media never did get that part of my life ri
ght. There never was a place for Candy.”
“It doesn’t matter, right?” Melody leaned back and spun herself on the swing.
Stryder had to tell her, had to make her understand. “I need to tell you…” But how did he? Her dad had just died. Stryder didn’t want to speak ill of the dead and lately, there was nothing but bad to say about Clint. “There’s so much to say, but…” Regret chopped his sentences into small slices of incomplete pain.
She stopped the swing and met his gaze with tear-filled eyes. “I know, Stryder. I know.”
Stryder shook his head. She couldn’t. There was no way she knew about the things Clint had done, if she couldn’t give him a second chance. She’d accused him of never coming back, of not keeping promises. But he had. “No, you-"
Breaking in, Melody nodded again. “Stryder… I know all about the contract and the letters. I found them early this morning. Dad… well, Dad hurt us both and I don’t know why. I’m embarrassed and betrayed and horrified. There is no reason he could have had that would excuse what he’s done.”
Shame flooded Stryder. She’d known and she’d been selling the car. He could have waited and asked her about the letters, the contract, instead he’d run off in a prideful huff as if she would ever treat him as horribly as he’d assumed, as it has seemed. “I didn’t trade us for money, Melody. I didn’t. Your dad promised it would be the best thing for us. I could get into school, but my family couldn’t afford it, either. I thought he wanted to help us or I never would have agreed.”
Melody half-shrugged, offering a sad smile. “I know, now, it’s not your fault. I just wish you would’ve told me. I’m sure he made you promise not to tell, but I needed to know what you were doing. I needed…”
“Do you… Can you ever forgive me?” Stryder swallowed past the lump in his throat. Why did it feel like a final goodbye? Why did it feel like it wouldn’t matter if he fell to his knees and begged for forgiveness?
Stryder: The Second Chance Billionaire (The Billionaire Cowboys of Clearwater County Book 1) Page 10