‘I am entitled to a break.’
‘You haven’t exactly been run off your feet, and after the double espresso you just had, I’d have thought you’d be buzzing.’
Nathalie pulled her hair into a bun and anchored it with a pen. Jess thought it looked so cool – she’d try it when she was on her own.
‘You are like a … ’ow do you say it? Driver of the slaves,’ Nathalie said.
George hooted. ‘Slave driver? I’m the best boss you’ll ever have. You spend most of your time drinking coffee and sighing. You need a rocket under your feet to get you moving. Now, come on, I’ve a business to run here.’
Nathalie shuffled in behind him, pulling a face at Jess over her shoulder as she went.
‘I’m not sure how long Nathalie’s going to last. She’s the laziest waitress we’ve ever had,’ Kate said, as she began to make wraps and rolls for the lunchtime rush.
Jess hoped Nathalie would work a bit harder so she wouldn’t get fired. She’d miss her crazy talk so much if she had to leave. And, anyway, she had a feeling that, underneath all the giving out, Granddad liked having Nathalie around too.
Jess headed upstairs, her legs heavy and uncooperative. They felt like they were made of iron already, but if everyone thought she needed more, she’d happily take it – anything to get rid of this worn-out feeling.
10
Piper watched Poppy and Penny doing their homework while, at the same time, trying to eat Weetabix. A lump of the milky cereal landed on Poppy’s copybook.
‘For God’s sake, Penny! Look what you just did!’
‘It’s not my fault! You nudged my arm.’
Poppy tried to wipe it off, but made the stain worse.
‘Great! Now Mr Keane will think I didn’t bother trying.’
Pauline clicked her tongue. ‘He’d be correct, then, wouldn’t he? Doing your homework over breakfast doesn’t qualify as much of an effort.’
Poppy glared at her eldest sister. ‘Oh, go and qualify yourself, you bore.’
Penny giggled. ‘I bet you always did your homework the night before and never handed anything in late.’
‘Yes, actually, I did, which is why I got in to do medicine.’
Penny snorted. ‘Who wants to do boring medicine and wear a horrible white coat … Zzzzzzzz.’
The twins pretended to fall asleep.
Olivia, who had been concentrating on reading her college notes and not listening to any of them, suddenly looked up. ‘I think you’ll find that studying is extremely important and valuable. Pauline could end up finding the cure for cancer or Parkinson’s.’
Pauline smiled. ‘That’s my plan.’
‘She could end up being an adviser on Grey’s Anatomy,’ Posy said, suddenly joining in the conversation.
‘I have no intention of advising some ridiculous TV show,’ Pauline snapped.
Posy frowned. ‘I was just saying.’
‘Did you know,’ Olivia said, ‘that it was a woman who –’
‘Mum!’ Piper had sensed that their mother was about to launch into one of her long lectures about women.
‘What?’ Olivia said impatiently.
‘Don’t forget you have to help out at the cake sale this morning.’
‘What cake sale?’
‘The one for the St Vincent de Paul. I told you last week.’
Olivia had clearly forgotten all about it. She never forgot about her lectures, Piper thought grumpily, but she did forget about everything else.
‘Well, I can only stay an hour. I have a lecture at half ten. We’re covering transgender this week.’
‘Oh, like Caitlin Jenner,’ Poppy said. ‘OMG! Is he – I mean she – going to be talking?’
‘Duh! Caitlin Jenner is way too busy to come to some crappy college in Ireland,’ Penny said.
‘Is transgender when a man wants to be a woman?’ Posy asked.
Olivia put down her book. ‘It means someone whose gender differs from the one they were given when they were born,’ she explained to her youngest child.
‘Like you,’ Poppy said to Posy. ‘You’re going to have to be a boy because Dad wants a son.’
Posy’s eyes widened. ‘I am not,’ she shouted.
Seamus walked into the chaos. ‘What’s going on? Why is Posy shouting?’
Posy rounded on her father. ‘I don’t care how much you want a son, I’m not going to be it. No way. I’m a girl and that’s it.’ She stormed out to howls of laughter from the twins.
‘Would someone like to explain?’ Seamus asked.
‘I’m going to college. This family is insane.’ Pauline picked up her laptop and left.
‘The twins were winding Posy up,’ Olivia said. Turning to the twins, she added, ‘It’s not nice. You’re always tormenting her. Besides, being transgender is not a joke. It’s a very serious issue.’
Penny put her cereal bowl into the dishwasher. ‘We know, Mum. We’ve watched I Am Cait. God, can no one have a joke around here any more?’ The twins left to get ready for school.
‘Transgender at eight a.m.’ Seamus sat down. ‘You’ve outdone yourself, Olivia.’
Olivia poured herself and Piper another cup of tea. ‘I just said I had a lecture on the subject. Besides, kids need to be informed.’
‘Not at twelve years of age and not before breakfast is even over. Can you please tone it down?’
Olivia bristled. ‘Men telling women to “tone it down” is what got us into this mess in the first place.’
‘What mess is that?’
‘Men thinking they’re superior and putting women down.’
‘When have I ever put you down?’
‘Well, obviously you haven’t, but I’m talking about other men.’
Seamus folded his arms over his chest. ‘What – like Muslim men?’
Olivia nodded. ‘Well, some, and others.’
‘Like who?’
Piper saw her mother waver.
‘Like other men, ones who feel insecure and put women down to make themselves feel better.’
‘In my humble male opinion, women are pretty good at putting each other down.’
Go, Dad! Piper cheered silently.
Olivia put her mug down. ‘You have a point there.’
‘What? Me? A mere man saying something you agree with? My God, Olivia, your equality lecturer might not like that.’
Piper watched as a smile spread across her mother’s face. It was nice to see – she could be a bit serious about her studies.
Seamus spread a thick layer of butter on his toast. ‘So, let me get this straight. Posy thinks I want her to be a boy?’
‘Yes.’
‘Excellent. With her already raging hormones, it’ll make her even more difficult to live with.’ To Piper, he added, ‘Thank God one of my daughters is sensible.’
Olivia reached out and patted Piper’s shoulder. ‘You’re right there.’
Piper smiled. With four loud sisters, it was rare that she got any time alone with her parents. Maybe now was the time to tell them. No, she had to tell Luke first. Oh, God. Her stomach twisted into a tight knot.
The door burst open. Posy stormed in wearing her uniform, her face plastered in make-up, with big hoop earrings and bracelets jangling from her wrists. The twins followed her, laughing.
‘See?’ Posy threw her hands into the air. ‘I’m a girl. Not a girl who wants to be a boy. Not a girl who is a lesbian. Not a girl who doesn’t want to be a girl. Not a girl who wants a willy. Just a bloody girl, okay?’
‘To be honest, with all that make-up on your face, you look like a transvestite,’ Penny said.
They all laughed, even Olivia.
Posy’s face went bright red. ‘What did you say?’
Olivia jumped up and went over to her. ‘Calm down. She’s only joking.’
‘Transvestite!’ she shrieked. ‘One minute I’m a transsexual and now you’re saying I’m a transvestite. I hate this family. I’m going to get a lawyer and divorce yo
u all. Yeah, I saw it on TV. Kids can divorce their families.’
‘On what grounds are you going to divorce us?’ Seamus asked, trying not to laugh.
‘On the grounds of you being mean and calling me names and … What’s that word? Oh, yeah, racists and bigerts.’
‘Bigots?’ Seamus suggested.
‘Yeah, that’s it.’ Posy pointed a finger at her father. ‘You’re all worse than the Nazis.’
‘I’m not sure you can compare genocide to a bit of joking around,’ Seamus said drily.
‘Okay. Well, you’re worse than – than – Paul Potts.’
‘Who?’ Olivia and Seamus looked confused.
Piper couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. ‘Paul Potts was the singer from Britain’s Got Talent. I think you mean Pol Pot.’
The twins cracked up.
‘Pot, Potts, whatever. You’re all just mean and cruel.’
Olivia laid a hand on Posy’s tense shoulder. ‘Take a deep breath, darling. You’re going to have a heart attack. You must learn to handle teasing.’
‘It’s not teasing, it’s abuse.’ Posy began to cry and her mascara streamed down her face in black lines, reminding Piper of a sad clown, the red lipstick making her mouth seem droopy.
‘Come on. I’ll help you take the make-up off so Mrs Kinsella doesn’t freak when she sees you.’
Piper took her little sister upstairs and used wet wipes to remove the thick layer of foundation. When she’d finished, Posy, who had now calmed down, grunted thanks and went to get her schoolbag.
Piper went into her bedroom and unplugged her phone from the charger. She cursed: it was already five to nine. Posy’s drama meant they were going to be late. She slid the package from under her pillow into her bag. She’d dump it in the bin outside the Spar shop on the way to school. No one would find it there. Her hands shook as she tried to zip up her backpack. She had to tell him today. No more pretending, he had to know. She couldn’t keep it in any longer. The last three days had been hell. She wanted to tell him, to share the news, to have him comfort her. She wanted him to tell her what to do.
Today was the day she would tell Luke that she was pregnant.
Winter
* * *
Bobby’s Diary
Mrs Lorgan was super-cross with me today. She was talking about Jesus being born in a mainger and that Mary was his mother and God was his father. But I didn’t understand cos Joseph was the Dad. But Mrs Lorgan said no, God was the Dad.
So I asked her how come God gets to be Jesus father when Mary is married to Joseph? She must have had an afair like my dad did with Jenny. And so how come Joseph doesn’t mind about God and the afair? How come he doesn’t go over to God and punch him in the face?
Mrs Lorgan said it wasn’t an afair and that God got the baby in Mary’s stomach by imacoolate konsepshun – but I don’t understand that. So she said it was like God magiked the baby into Mary’s tummy.
But you can’t magik babies. That’s just rubbish. Mrs Lorgan made that up to try to pretend that God was good and not a bad man who had an afair with Joseph’s wife.
When I said that Mary was a slapper for going off with God when she was married to Joseph, Mrs Lorgan went mad. She shouted at me for using bad words and for blasfeeming. I don’t know what that is but it must be bad.
I said Luke used that word for Jenny all the time. Mrs Lorgan said it was a very bad word and Mary was a saintly woman who never did anything wrong in her life. But I don’t care what Mrs Lorgan says. Mary must be a slapper cos she went off with another man when she was married.
In the yard, Tommy said Mary must have sexed with God to have a baby. I asked him what that means, and he said when a man and woman go in the same bed and roll around babies are made.
I know that’s true cos that’s what Dad and Jenny did, they rolled around in the same bed and then Jaden was in her tummy. When we went to stay with them I could hear them rolling around and Jenny was saying, ‘O, O Nick. Yes, yes,’ and Dad was saying ‘O, O, Jenny.’
But Mummy was foorious when Dad rolled around with Jenny so I know Joseph was not happy about it. I think Mrs Lorgan is just pretending that God is a good person cos she is very religos. She goes to mass all the time. We only go on Christmas and some times Easter.
I’m surprised about God cos he is suposed to be a great man who made us and the world. I heard Mum say to Maggie on the phone that all men are week and can’t keep it in there pants.
I think she means money cos Dad never seems to have enuff money to give to Mum. Dad is always stressed about money. He says kids and wimen are too expensif. If he thinks that then he should never have married Mum or rolled around with Jenny.
Luke came to get me from school wich was brilliant cos he never does. But then I saw his eyes were all red and he seemed sad. He kept huging me, which he never does, like never.
I thought maybe he got dumped from the rugby team but when I asked him he said no and then he hugged me again and said that there was bad news.
11
After the meeting Nick checked his phone. Two missed calls from Jenny and three from Kate. He knew Jenny was just calling to tell him that something was wrong with Jaden, like she did every day. Her panicking about his health was getting worse. If he had a runny nose, she thought it was pneumonia. He’d have to make an appointment with the GP and take her there himself. She needed pills. She was freaking out over every little thing and crying all the time. He couldn’t cope with much more of it.
Sometimes at night he lay awake, wondering if he’d made a huge mistake. But it was too late now. He was stuck. Stuck with a new baby and a depressed girlfriend. What a bloody mess he’d made of things.
He knew Kate was calling about money. She was probably going to shout at him for not giving her enough last month. Thank God that house sale had gone through yesterday – at least he’d be able to pay her next month. He hated not being able to support his family properly, but with the debts and the rent on his apartment with Jenny, everything was just going out faster than it was coming in. He felt bad about Kate, but he had been honest when he’d told her he just didn’t have it to spare.
He’d call them both later, he decided. Give himself a breather before facing the music. But then he saw a text from Kate: Call me. Urgent, it’s Jess.
Nick’s heart sank. Unlike Jenny, Kate did not panic about the kids unless it was serious. Damn, what was wrong? Nick’s hand shook as he dialled.
‘Kate?’
‘Nick … oh, God, Nick …’ Kate was sobbing so much he couldn’t understand what she was saying.
‘What? Jesus, Kate, what is it?’
‘Jess has … They think it’s leukaemia.’
What the fuck? Nick’s heart stopped. ‘Kate, did you say leukaemia?’
‘Yes, the blood tests came back, and … It’s bad, Nick. Oh, God, Jess, our beautiful Jess …’
Nick fell against the wall of his office. Blood was rushing to his ears. He couldn’t hear. He couldn’t think. When he could finally speak, his voice was faint. ‘But how … I mean, what the hell? They must be mistaken. She’s fine. I know she wasn’t feeling great but it was no big deal. It’s a mistake, Kate. It has to be. There is no way she has cancer. No fucking way.’ He was shouting now, fists clenched, body tight.
‘They think it is.’ Kate was bawling. ‘I don’t understand either, Nick. I’m freaking out here. Come to the hospital. I need you – Jess needs you.’
‘I’m on my way. I’ll sort this out.’ Nick hung up but his legs wouldn’t move. He was frozen. His mouth felt dry and his head too heavy for his body. He dragged one leg forward, then the other.
As he was stumbling through the office a colleague approached him. ‘Are you okay, mate? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.’
‘Fine. Just have to pop out – problem with my kid,’ Nick rasped. He didn’t want to get into it. He didn’t want everyone talking about Jess. And, anyway, it was a mistake. It had to be. This was bullshit.
Kate must have misunderstood. There was no way his daughter had cancer. No way.
Nick didn’t remember driving to the hospital. The journey was a blur. He threw his car into a wheelchair-user’s parking spot, then sprinted through the door and up the stairs. Level three, Haematology and Oncology, Kate had texted.
He burst through the doors and saw Kate on the phone, crying. He strode straight over to her.
‘I know, Maggie, thanks. I haven’t said anything to Dad or the boys yet. I want to find out more first. I’ll call you as soon as I know more.’ She hung up, turned to rest her head on Nick’s shoulder and sobbed into it.
‘Where’s Jess?’ he asked.
‘She just went to the toilet,’ Kate said.
‘Who’s in charge here?’
‘I don’t know. There are lots of people involved. I’ve spoken to a Dr Kennedy.’
Nick went over to the nurses’ station. ‘I want to speak to Dr Kennedy now. Right now.’
‘I’m afraid he’s with a patient.’
‘I don’t give a fuck if he’s with the president, I want to speak to him now.’
The nurse recoiled.
Kate grabbed Nick’s arm. ‘Stop it. Don’t shout at everyone.’
He shook off her hand. ‘GET HIM!’ he roared at the nurse. He could feel the veins in his neck bulging.
A door opened and a well-dressed man came towards him. ‘Is there a problem here?’
‘I’m sorry, Doctor. This is Jess’s father – he’s just arrived,’ Kate said.
‘Don’t apologize for me,’ Nick snapped. ‘Are you Kennedy?’
‘Yes.’
‘I want to know what the hell is going on. You’ve clearly misdiagnosed my daughter.’
Dr Kennedy nodded. ‘I’m very sorry, Mr …’
‘Higgins.’
‘Mr Higgins, I understand this has come as a shock to you. I can assure you that we’re going to run every test we can to get an accurate diagnosis of your daughter’s condition. From the initial test results, she does appear to have leukaemia. We need to narrow down which type she has so we can treat it accordingly.’
The Good Mother Page 8