‘What kind of a sign?’ This conversation was making her head throb, but she knew Larry needed to be able to say this stuff out loud.
‘Well, that’s just it. I can’t make up my mind. It has to be something not too unusual, like an eagle landing at the kitchen table, but not something really common either, like a blackbird in the back garden. It has to be something in between.’
Jess had never thought about signs. But she knew exactly what hers would be.
‘Any suggestions?’ Larry asked.
‘My sign would be a white butterfly,’ Jess said. ‘I’ve always loved them. They’re so pure and beautiful and … well, white.’
‘Damn, I wish I’d thought of that.’
‘How about a robin on your parents’ windowsill or something?’
‘Nah, too boring. We’ll have to think up something better. Hopefully I’ll live until we figure one out.’
Jess shuddered. She hadn’t really allowed herself to think about death. She’d pushed it far down in her stomach. She was sick and she was going to get better. No one ever mentioned death, except Larry and Nathalie. The first time Jess had actually spoken to Larry, she’d been throwing up into a bowl. He’d stopped at her door and introduced himself, then asked her if she was scared of dying. Just like that. After only exchanging names. Jess had lied and said no because she wasn’t planning on dying.
Larry had smiled. ‘New and full of hope. I need to hang out with you. Maybe your optimism will rub off on me.’
But it hadn’t. Cancer had rubbed off on him, more of it, aggressive, unstoppable. Still Jess did not, would not, believe Larry was going to die. He couldn’t. It just wasn’t possible. Like he’d said, he was only thirteen, one year older than her. She would continue to hope that he’d come out the other side. But she knew not to say that to him now.
‘I wish I could come over and hang out,’ she said.
‘Me, too … I know! How about we watch the same movie at the same time and stay on the phone so we can give out about it? I don’t want to be alone, and I’ve chased the only visitors I’ve had out of the hospital.’
‘You’ll have to apologize to them tomorrow,’ Jess said. ‘Now, what will we watch?’
‘How about The Fault In Our Stars?’
Jess giggled. ‘Or My Sister’s Keeper? That’ll cheer us up.’
Larry laughed. ‘Seriously, how about The Hunger Games?’
‘Again!’
‘Humour me.’
‘Okay.’ Jess reached for the iPad Kate had lent her and clicked on the movie. ‘Ready?’
‘Yes. One, two, three, play.’
Jess nestled into her pillows and welcomed the distraction of the film. For now, she wanted to be anywhere but where she was.
17
Piper studied her calendar. Nine weeks. She was nine weeks pregnant. You could have an abortion in the UK up to twenty-four weeks. But that was six months. She couldn’t imagine having an abortion at six months. If she was being honest, she couldn’t imagine having an abortion at all.
At first she’d thought she’d definitely get rid of it. Who the hell wanted a baby at eighteen years of age? She’d even looked up cheap flights for her and Luke to go over to London. But then Jess had got cancer and everything had gone crazy.
Meanwhile, the baby was growing. Piper put her hand to her still flat stomach. She knew she had to tell Luke, but there was never a good time, these days.
She’d tried to tell him last week, but he’d been put on the subs bench and Harry had got to play the whole match. Luke had been so upset that she just couldn’t do it. The time before that was when his mum told him that he needed to get his bone marrow tested. Luke had been upset about that, too. They’d spent the whole evening Googling it and talking about it.
Piper lay back on her bed and put an arm over her face. She had to tell him, but what if he wanted to get rid of it? He probably would. How could he cope with a baby on top of everything else? How could she cope with a baby? She wanted to go to college and travel the world, not be tied down with a screaming kid. The weird thing was, in the last few weeks she’d felt love growing inside her for her baby. She knew it was dumb, it was only a foetus, but she felt protective of it now.
She pictured her dad’s face when she told him. Piper, the sensible one – not so sensible now. She wasn’t sure how her mum would react. Disappointed obviously, but probably calmer than her dad.
And the girls? Pauline would probably think she was a slut – a stupid slut. She’d be right: Piper was stupid – unprotected sex, how could she? They were drunk and Luke had had a bad fight with his dad and he’d kept saying, ‘I need you, babe,’ and he didn’t have any condoms and … Well, she’d given in. He’d pulled out early and she’d thought it would be okay. Stupid, really stupid.
She knew the twins, who pretended to be so worldly wise, would be shocked and that Posy wouldn’t look up to her any more. Who’d look up to an idiot who gets pregnant?
Piper let the tears flow. It was a mess. Everything was a huge mess. Jess, the baby, Luke … everything. She needed to tell Luke, she needed him to support her, but she was scared. He was so fragile right now and had so much on his plate. Could he take any more? She was afraid he’d crumble under the pressure.
Piper wiped her tears. No matter what, she had to tell him tonight. He had to know and they had to make a decision together – soon.
She sat up and fixed her make-up. She was applying concealer under her tired eyes when the doorbell rang. Piper heard the twins charging down the stairs. She ran after them, but they got to the door first. ‘Hi, Luke,’ they gushed.
‘Penny and Poppy?’ he asked, grinning.
‘Shove off, Poppy.’ Penny pushed her sister out of the way. ‘Hi, Luke, I’m Penny, the good-looking twin.’
Poppy elbowed her sister out of the way. ‘I’m Poppy, the one who hasn’t had a lobotomy.’
‘Scoot!’ Piper ordered, pushing them both aside. ‘You’ll scare him off.’ The twins scattered.
Piper kissed Luke and ushered him in. ‘Mum got stuck in a tutorial and has only just arrived home, so Dad ended up cooking. We’re having steak and mash.’
‘Sounds good. I brought wine – is that okay? I wasn’t sure what to bring. I’m a bit nervous about meeting your parents, to be honest.’
Not as nervous as you would be if you knew I was pregnant, Piper thought grimly. She said, ‘Don’t be nervous. Dad’s a bit mad but nice underneath.’
‘It was good of them to invite me.’
‘They said I spend so much time in your house and talk about your family so much they were afraid I was going to leave home and move in. And also obviously because they know about Jess.’
Luke pulled her in for another quick kiss. ‘I wish you would move in. You’d brighten things up.’
They heard a cough and Luke moved away from Piper.
‘Luke, I presume.’ Seamus held out a hand.
‘Yes, sir, nice to meet you.’
Seamus raised an eyebrow. ‘Probably better if I’d met you before I saw you with your tongue down my daughter’s throat. Still, you’re here now.’
Luke went bright red.
‘Behave, Dad,’ Piper warned him.
‘I’ll say what I want in my own house. Now, come on, the dinner’s just ready.’ Waving a spatula in Luke’s direction, Seamus said, ‘Piper tells me you need to eat loads of meat for the rugby.’
Luke was still standing, unsure when he should sit down. ‘Yes, sir. We’re encouraged to load up on protein.’
‘In my day we just ate what our mother stuck in front of us, put on our boots and played. It’s all protein and weights and statistics, these days. Load of nonsense.’
Piper rolled her eyes. ‘Dad played rugby like a hundred years ago and claims he could have played for Ireland.’
Seamus went over and flipped a steak in the pan. ‘I was a shoo-in until I broke my ankle. It was never the same again.’
‘What position d
id you play?’ Luke asked.
Piper could see him eyeing up her dad, who didn’t look like he’d ever played any sport. He was quite tall and relatively slim, but he had a big belly that hung over his trousers and no muscles whatsoever.
‘Fullback. I had great pace back in the day.’
Luke nodded politely, then handed Seamus the bottle of wine.
‘Nice Bordeaux, thank you.’
‘My granddad recommended it.’
‘Ah, yes. He runs the café and wine shop up on the main street?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Take a weight off, Luke,’ Seamus said.
Luke sat down beside Piper. They held hands under the table.
Posy stormed through the door, her face red with rage. ‘DO I HAVE A MOUSTACHE?’
Seamus shook his head. ‘For the love of God.’
‘Answer me!’
‘No.’
‘What’s wrong, Posy?’ Piper asked.
‘Penny and Poppy told me I had a moustache and that I’d have to start shaving and that it was proof I was actually a boy in a girl’s body and my testosterone was coming out now.’ Posy was getting upset.
‘When are you going to learn that they’re evil twins who love nothing more than to wind you up?’ Piper said.
‘They said I’m gender fluid.’
Luke coughed to hide a laugh.
‘You’re a girl, Posy,’ Piper reassured her. ‘One hundred per cent.’
Posy sat down and picked up a piece of bread from the basket in the middle of the table. ‘Are you Luke?’ she asked.
‘Yes, and I guess you’re Posy, the youngest, right?’
Posy nodded. ‘Yes. Being the youngest sucks. Who’s the youngest in your house?’
‘Bobby, and he’d say he gets a hard time too. He’s quite angry and kicks things.’
‘I bet you’re not as mean to him as my sisters are to me.’ Posy took a bite of the bread.
‘I’ve definitely never told him he was gender fluid,’ Luke said. ‘And if it’s any help, you definitely don’t have a moustache.’
Posy touched her upper lip with her index finger. ‘Good.’
‘You’re like a mini Piper, which is a very good thing.’
Posy grinned. ‘I hope I am. I think Piper’s so pretty.’
Luke leant in to whisper, ‘So do I, and she’s really nice too. How lucky am I?’
Piper felt her heart fill. She really loved Luke.
The back door opened and Olivia bustled in. ‘Sorry I’m late. I brought wine as an apology.’ She placed a bottle on the table. ‘The tutorial just went on and on. It was so interesting. They had a refugee from Malawi talking about –’
Piper tried to catch her mother’s attention. ‘Mum, this is Luke.’
Olivia stopped talking and noticed him for the first time. She looked him up and down and proffered a hand. ‘Sorry. I get a bit carried away with my new college life. Nice to finally meet you, Luke.’
‘You, too, Mrs King.’
‘Oh, God, call me Olivia. “Mrs King” makes me think of Seamus’s mother, who was a total battleaxe.’
Seamus turned back from the cooker. ‘Ah, now, she wasn’t that bad.’
Olivia hung up her coat and sat down at the table. ‘The first time I met her, I was probably Piper’s age, and I was invited for dinner. After dessert she said, “You might think about your portion sizes. It’s very easy to put on weight and not so easy to lose it. With your curvy figure, you’d need to be careful.”’
‘Oh, God.’ Luke was grinning. ‘What did you say back?’
‘I smiled and said that a healthy appetite was usually considered a good thing, and that Seamus was very fond of my curves.’
Luke and Piper laughed. Piper loved that story and the way her mum had stood up for herself and answered back. Piper didn’t really remember her granny – she’d died when Piper was five – but by all accounts she had not been a very nice person.
‘That’s enough stories about my mother and her sharp tongue. Call the lunatics down for dinner, please, Penny.’
‘It’s Posy!’ she huffed, then poked her head out of the kitchen door and shouted, ‘GRUB’S UP!’
The twins thundered down the stairs and threw themselves into their chairs. ‘So, Luke, I hear you’re on the senior cup team in St James,’ Penny said.
‘Well, yes, I’m on the squad,’ Luke said modestly.
Piper put a hand on his shoulder. ‘He’s the winger and he’s brilliant.’
‘I always think it’s good for kids to be into sports. It keeps them out of trouble,’ Seamus said.
Not always, Piper thought.
‘Sport is so boring.’ Poppy groaned. ‘I hate having to play stupid hockey in the rain. What’s the point?’
‘It keeps you fit and healthy.’ Seamus popped a large piece of steak into his mouth.
‘I like hockey,’ Posy said.
‘Good girl, keep it up. Don’t turn out like these two reprobates.’
Penny rolled her eyes. ‘Posy’s a square.’
‘Total dork,’ Poppy agreed.
‘Besides, girls who are into sports are lesbians,’ Penny said.
‘Stop that,’ Olivia warned.
‘What did you say? Are you calling me a lesbian now?’ Posy’s face was red.
‘Calm down, darling. They’re only joking.’ Olivia placed a hand on Posy’s arm.
‘Big butch lesbians,’ Poppy taunted her.
‘I am not a bitch lesbian,’ Posy roared.
‘I said butch, you dork.’
‘What is that? A lesbian word?’
‘It means –’
‘Enough!’ Seamus cut across Penny. ‘We have a guest here tonight and it would be nice if for once we could have a civilized family meal, without shouting and tears.’ Turning to Luke, he said, ‘This is why I have my shed. A man cannot live with six women without somewhere to escape to.’
Luke smiled. ‘It’s certainly lively.’
‘“Lively” is a very polite way of putting it. Bloody mayhem, I’d say.’ Seamus shook his head.
‘How is your sister?’ Olivia asked. ‘Piper told us the poor girl has leukaemia.’
Piper watched as Luke’s face darkened. ‘Yes, it’s been hard for her. But she seems to be reacting well to the chemo, although it’s making her really sick.’
‘Chemo’s a blessing disguised as a curse. How’s your mother coping?’ Olivia asked.
Luke paused. ‘She’s … Well, she’s just getting on with it, I guess. She’s great. She keeps everything together.’
‘Mum used to be like that for us, but now all she does is go to college and read books and talk about vaginas being cut,’ Penny said.
Luke choked on his food.
‘Shut up, Penny,’ Piper hissed.
‘For the love of God, Penny, be quiet,’ Seamus barked.
Penny folded her arms. ‘Fine, I’m just saying.’
‘I’m sorry you feel that way, darling,’ Olivia said, keeping her voice even, but Piper could tell she was annoyed. ‘I spent nineteen years devoting my life to raising you all. I don’t think a two-year course in university is too much to ask. Do you?’
Penny shrugged. ‘I’m not going to boring college.’
‘Really?’ Seamus said. ‘And what are you planning on doing?’
‘Me and Poppy are going to start a vlog, like Zoella.’
‘Who?’
Poppy squealed. ‘OMG, Dad, you are such a loser. Zoella is the biggest thing ever. Her YouTube channel has over nine point nine million subscribers and over six hundred and sixty-three million video views.’
‘She is amazing,’ Posy agreed.
‘Even I’ve heard of her,’ Olivia said.
‘How does she make money?’ Seamus asked.
‘Duh, she writes books, sells her own beauty products and people pay her to try their make-up brands.’
‘She’s worth millions and she does most of it from her bedroom. It�
�s so easy,’ Poppy said.
Seamus sat back in his chair. ‘So you’re telling me that some girl called Zooella –’
‘Zoella.’
‘Whatever. This lassie is sitting in her bedroom trying on lipsticks and over six hundred million people are watching?’
‘Yes,’ Penny said. ‘And then she wrote a book – well, she didn’t exactly write it all by herself. She got help to write it and it sold zillions of copies.’
‘And it’s all about make-up?’ Seamus asked.
‘And hair and clothes and stuff,’ Penny added.
Seamus thumped the table. ‘Well, then, what in the hell are you waiting for? We’ve a house full of bloody make-up and clothes lying around everywhere and two foolish girls who are obsessed with it all. Get up to that bedroom and start videoing yourselves. We’ll be millionaires in no time.’
Poppy and Penny looked at each other. ‘But, like, what would we say?’
‘Say?’ Seamus was incredulous. ‘You never stop talking.’
‘Yeah, but it’s different when you think people are actually watching,’ Penny said.
‘Totally. You don’t want to say anything you could get slagged about,’ Poppy agreed.
‘Or say a lipstick colour is cool when everyone else thinks it’s lame,’ Penny added.
‘Besides, we don’t have a cool boyfriend like Zoella,’ Poppy said.
‘We could use Luke.’ Penny eyed Luke across the table.
‘Totally.’ Poppy was excited. ‘He’s cool and hot.’
Piper put her arm around Luke. ‘Back off, witches. Luke is not going to be in any of your stupid videos. He’s my boyfriend. Get your own.’
‘You’re so selfish, Piper. We could make zillions of euros and we’d pay Luke, obviously.’
‘So you’re going to pretend to the world that you share a boyfriend? Is that your genius plan?’ Piper asked.
‘I’m sure he has a friend who could pretend too.’
‘You’re being ridiculous,’ Piper said.
Luke shook his head. ‘Much as I’d like to help you on this mission to make millions, I’m afraid I’m out.’
Penny glared at Piper. ‘Thanks a lot. You’re so selfish.’
The Good Mother Page 12