Fiona laughed and headed for the refrigerator. “I’m already on it. But I want to hear all about England in return.”
“I promise, Fiona. I have lots of stories to tell.” Beck’s gaze swung to Myra. “And who is this lovely one, Holt? Please tell me she’s available and doesn’t belong to you.”
His admiring head to toe appraisal made her blush clear to the roots of her copper-colored hair. He’d picked up her hand and had pressed a kiss to it in true gallant fashion only to have Holt’s fingers wrap around her wrist, gently pulling her arm away from his brother. Her skin tingled where he’d touched it and she rubbed the flesh with her other hand to try and erase the feeling.
“This is Myra Burke, my PA, and she belongs to herself.” No one could fail to hear the tone of dire warning in Holt’s voice but it didn’t seem to bother the brother in the least. “Myra, this is my brother, Beckett Winslow. He runs the family finance business. He does a pretty good job of it too, despite his almost non-stop womanizing.”
“Half-brother,” Beck clarified with a grin. “Same father. Different mother. It explains why I’m so charming and Holt is a pain in the ass.”
He was so charming and friendly Myra found herself smiling back. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Does my brother bore you with all his talk about legal precedent and briefs?”
Beck Winslow must have been in London for awhile. Myra detected an ever-so-slight British accent in his deep tones. Paired with his handsome face and sexy body she had no doubt he had his choice of beautiful women.
“She’s my PA, not my legal secretary,” Holt answered before she had a chance. “Why don’t we sit at the dining table and have some lunch? Did you have a business meeting today, Beck? You’re dressed for it.”
“That’s what I came to talk to you about, little brother. We need to discuss the overseas operations.”
“Fine. After lunch.”
Bart had come in the French doors off the kitchen and was washing up in the sink as Fiona waved everyone into the dining room. With Beck joining them there weren’t enough stools at the island. She began to follow Beck when she felt a staying hand on her arm. It was Holt. He held her back until the kitchen was empty.
“I think I should say something about Beck. He’s a good man but don’t take anything he says very seriously. He goes through women like other men change their shirts. He’s not someone a woman like you should get involved with.”
Myra didn’t have red hair for nothing. She had a temper and took great pains to keep the flare-ups to a minimum but this was too much. She wasn’t going to allow her employer to decide whom she could date.
“First off, I doubt your brother is interested in me, Mr. Winslow. I think he was just being friendly. I bet he flirts with everyone he meets.” Her temper was really simmering now. She could feel the heat in her cheeks and on the back of her neck. “Secondly, I’m not sure what you mean by a woman like me. Are you saying that I’m not good enough for your brother? Is it because I’m a single mother? Or is it that I’m not attractive or rich enough? And third, I’m not dumb or have fairy dust in my eyes. I’m perfectly aware that a rich man like Beckett Winslow isn’t going to sweep me off my working mother feet and turn me into a princess. Boy, am I aware. So you can stop worrying about me. I can take care of myself.”
As was typical of her temper, now that she’d had her say her anger had drained away, leaving her rather mortified about what she’d just said to her brand new employer. Holt had at first opened his mouth to speak and then snapped it shut as she’d gone on. Now his eyes were narrowed as if he was trying to decide if she was completely serious. So far no one she had met this week had dared to speak to Holt in that impertinent manner.
Well, crap. She didn’t want to lose this job.
“Mr. Winslow, I’m so–”
“Don’t ruin it now,” Holt cut off her apology. To her ever-loving shock her usually taciturn boss was actually laughing. “You get all fiery when you’re mad. You’ll need that spirit working for me. And I certainly wasn’t intimating that you’re not good enough for Beck. If anything, he’s not good enough for you.”
With that Holt turned and exited the kitchen, leaving Myra standing rooted to the spot and dumbfounded. Every moment that she spent with Holt made her more intrigued by the man. And as a single working mother Myra could afford precious few things, especially not an interest in her handsome wealthy boss.
Chapter Five
‡
Holt rubbed his stiff neck and slapped the lid down on his laptop. Every evening for the last two weeks he’d buried himself in work as much as possible. Concentrating on clients and cases was supposed to keep him from thinking about his more than attractive assistant but so far it hadn’t worked very well.
He liked Myra’s smile when she greeted him every morning. He liked the way she smelled – not flowery but clean and fresh like after a rain shower. He even liked the way her tongue peeked out of the corner of her mouth when she was concentrating.
“You need something to do,” he muttered to himself as he closed the office door behind him and ascended the stairs to his room two at a time. What he really needed was to break a sweat. He’d had a deposition early this morning and hadn’t been able to work out as he normally did and that always played havoc with his mood. Exercise not only kept his body in shape but it also kept him sane. In his bedroom he quickly shed his work clothes, threw on a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and tennis shoes, and headed down to the exercise room.
An hour later and dripping with sweat, his left leg ached from the exertion. When he’d woken up in the hospital the doctors had given him the bad news that he would walk with a limp the rest of his life. That news had been the least of his worries as he underwent several surgeries and skin grafts.
Holt couldn’t fix his scars but he could fine tune his body. As soon as the doctors had let him he’d been in the gym pushing himself. As hard as he could and then some. No one seeing him walk or run now would ever know the trauma his bones and muscles had been through.
At least if they didn’t see his scars.
He rubbed his thigh and headed out the back of the house and straight for the hot tub. He’d soak for awhile and let the jets ease the soreness that he’d grown accustomed to. It was a constant reminder of just how damn lucky he was to be alive.
The yard was shrouded in shadows, the only light from the moon up above, so it was a surprise when he realized that he wasn’t alone.
Myra was chest deep in the steaming and swirling water.
Her copper-colored hair was piled high on top of her head but a few tendrils had escaped and clung to her damp neck and curled around her heart shaped face. She hadn’t yet seen him, and although it smacked of creepy stalking he stood there and watched as she let her head fall back and her lips part in a sweet sigh.
Mesmerized, his gaze wandered over the creamy skin of her shoulders and down to her full breasts that were pushed up by the swimsuit top. The water bubbled as her arms glided back and forth over the surface in a soft slow rhythm that only she could hear.
The only sound was the tinkling of leaves or the chirping of crickets in the distance but he could smell the scent of fresh grass mixed with sharp tang of chlorine. There was nothing different about tonight. It could have been any one of a hundred nights just like it. Except for one thing.
Myra. She changed everything.
“I didn’t know you were out here.”
Holt’s voice sounded too loud in the dark silence and Myra must have thought so as well. With a half scream she sat straight up in the hot tub, her arms crossed over her chest as if to keep him from taking in the view.
He found himself moving forward, toward her rather than retreating which would have been his normal response. Something about her pulled and tugged at him, always keeping him near and not at the safe distance he usually preferred.
“You scared me,” she breathed shakily. “I thought you were in the office worki
ng.”
“I was and then I worked out for awhile. Best way to get rid of stress. Do you mind if I join you?”
Stripping off his shoes and socks, he didn’t wait for her answer. He quickly submerged himself in the heated water, covering most of his scars, before stripping off his wet t-shirt and tossing it in a heap on the concrete deck. In the past two weeks he’d become more comfortable around Myra and had even rolled up his shirtsleeves when they worked together. But getting a glimpse here and there wasn’t the same as seeing all of it in its horrific glory.
Myra levered herself from the tub and onto the edge. “I’ll give you some privacy.”
Some demon inside of him wanted her to stay. He caught her wrist and shook his head, not sure what to say since she was probably doing the wisest thing by leaving. But that part of him that had been alone for so long…it was firmly in control tonight. Maybe a human being could only stand a certain amount of isolation before it was forced to reach out to another. He had Fiona and Bart, a few friends, his brother Beck, and his parents.
It just wasn’t the same.
“You don’t have to leave on my account. Stay for awhile. Talk to me.”
Her lips parted as if to say no but then she smiled and sunk back down into the water.
“Thank you. I will stay. I’ve been working out after Amelia goes to bed for the last four days and I’m really sore from it.”
Since he had been closeting himself in the office he hadn’t known that. “That’s great. I’m glad someone besides myself is getting use out of the gym.”
“Fiona and Bart don’t use it?”
“They have their own set up in their house, but they’re always welcome to use mine of course. As much as Bart works outdoors he gets a pretty good workout no matter what and Fiona says she likes to ride the stationary bike every now and then.”
They were quiet for a few minutes. Holt didn’t know what to say but the quiet wasn’t uncomfortable. He let his mind wander, thinking about the day he’d had and what was in store for tomorrow. There was a crackle of static and a muffled voice and he jerked back to the present, instantly on alert.
“What was–”
“It’s okay,” Myra said quickly, holding up what looked like a small battery powered radio. “It’s Amelia’s monitor. This way if she calls out for me I’ll hear it.”
Holt relaxed back down into the water. “That’s a good idea. Does she do that a lot?”
“No.” Myra shook her head and set the monitor back on the edge of the hot tub. “But since we’re in a new place and I couldn’t hear her from here I thought it better safe than sorry.”
“You’re a good mother,” Holt said and meant it deeply. Seeing her with Amelia these past two weeks had shown him that Myra would do anything for her daughter. Even take a boring job like this one.
Instead of the smile he thought she’d give him she seemed to crumple before his eyes. Her lips quivered and a few tears ran down her cheeks. He moved to comfort her, patting her on the shoulder as she sniffled.
He had a feeling these tears had been a long time in coming.
*
Myra felt like the biggest idiot on the planet. Holt was simply being nice, paying her a compliment, and now she was falling apart. Crying on his shoulder and being all emotional. It was a crappy idea. He was going to find out just how screwed up she was. The mistakes she’d made. The so-called rational explanations that had been anything but.
His warm fingers brushed at her tear-stained cheeks leaving a trail of heat behind. And that was messed up too. The more time she spent with her handsome boss the more attracted to him she was.
He was a genuinely good man.
“Hey, easy there.” His tone was soft and soothing. “Everything’s okay. Everything’s fine.”
He had no idea.
Myra rubbed at her cheeks. As a redhead she wasn’t a pretty crier. Hopefully the dim light kept him from seeing her in all her watery-eyed glory.
“It’s not okay. I’m such a failure,” she hiccupped. His thumb stroked the sensitive pulse point of her wrist and even in abject misery her heart rate sped up in response to his touch.
“Tell me how you’ve failed. I don’t see any of that.”
Sniffling, she swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed back a few strands of hair that had come loose from her topknot. “I’ve made bad choices and they’ve affected Amelia.”
His brows pulled down as he placed his arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to his large comforting body. “Amelia seems fine. Smart and happy. Is there something I’m not seeing?”
“She misses her father. Not that he was home much when we were together. He’s an over the road trucker so he was gone most of the time. But he was there. Now…he’s not. He doesn’t call her or anything.”
“And how is this your fault? It sounds like this is on him.”
“No.” Myra shook her head again. “It’s my fault. I have lousy taste in men and now Amelia is paying the price. And the worst thing is I can’t fix it. I can’t make this better for her.”
If only Myra could feel pain and sadness for Amelia, she gladly would so her daughter would never know either of those emotions.
Holt leaned down and tilted her chin so she was looking straight into his light blue eyes.
“Do you know why you can’t fix this? Because it’s not something you created. This is all on your idiot ex, if I may refer to him that way. He did this and he needs to own it. What was his excuse anyway?”
Clearly Holt didn’t have any patience for men who left their children. But maybe she’d driven Bobby away. If so, then it was her fault.
“In the text Bobby sent he said he didn’t want to be a father anymore. He didn’t want to get married either. He’d met someone and she was fun. Not like me.”
Holt snorted with obvious disgust. “What makes you think you’re not fun?”
“I talked about bills, taxes, potty training, playdates, and a myriad of other things that Bobby wasn’t interested in. He told me that I had let myself go after having Amelia and that I didn’t excite him anymore.”
His mouth a flat line and his eyes narrowed, Holt leaned down so they were practically nose to nose.
“That is the biggest load of shit I’ve heard in my life. Excuse me for saying this, but this Bobby guy sounds like a complete douchebag and certainly not good enough for you. Or Amelia for that matter. Adults do things they don’t want to do. That’s practically the exact definition of being an adult. It sounds like he wants to be Peter Pan and stay a kid forever. Well, that’s fine but don’t bring a child into this world and then whine about how unfair life is. No shit. Life is unfair. Get over it.”
If anyone knew how unfair life could be it was Holt. And Myra had never heard one word of complaint from this man even after all he must have gone through.
But admitting that Bobby was a loser wasn’t easy. He was Amelia’s father and Myra had chosen him – trusted him – after all. It didn’t reflect well on her.
“I know what you’re saying is true.” She pushed the words out that were so difficult to say. “I’ve spent years making excuses for him and waiting for him to grow up. I guess he never will and it breaks my heart that my daughter is going to be the one hurt by this.”
Her voice choked and then broke, too emotional to continue. The most important job in her life was raising Amelia and she hadn’t done a great job so far.
“I think Amelia is lucky to have a mother like you that loves her so much. And I think eventually she’ll see who really loves her and has made sacrifices for her.”
“He never calls her or anything. It’s like he’s fallen off the grid or something. I think that’s what bothers me the most. If he doesn’t want the day to day stuff…well, okay…but to just cut off all communication? That’s hurtful, and I don’t know how to explain it to her without making him sound like an ass.”
“And he is her father.” Holt sighed and squeezed her hand. “You’ve
done the right thing not bad mouthing him to your daughter. But I know it can’t be easy. Is he not sending any child support as well?”
Myra hated to admit her situation but she also didn’t like lying to someone she liked and respected so much.
“When Bobby left he cleaned out our joint checking and savings accounts. I haven’t heard from him since. Luckily I had a separate account and that’s what we’ve been living on until I got this job.”
Holt muttered a couple of foul names under his breath before patting her on the shoulder gently. “That’s not fair to Amelia. I’m a lawyer and I can put a private investigator on the case. We can find Bobby and make him pay his share. It’s only right.”
She didn’t know what was right or wrong anymore. She wasn’t sure if tying him to her and Amelia financially was the best long-term decision. If he wanted to be free then maybe it was all for the best. A clean break.
“I don’t want to force him to be a father.”
“He was there during the conception, wasn’t he?” Holt scowled, his tone hard. “Why should he get off scot free?”
“Yes, he was there. I can’t take the pill because it makes me so sick so we were using condoms. Then one day…we ran out… I guess you can guess the result.”
Her cheeks felt warm remembering how stupid she’d been about possible pregnancy. “Pulling out” wasn’t a viable option but she hadn’t known that then.
“I want you to think about this, Myra. Think about finding him and at least have him pay his share of child support.” Holt tilted his head as he rubbed his chin. “Unless you don’t want him in Amelia’s life at all. Are you hoping he’s gone forever?”
Myra had thought about this more and more as each day had gone by. She’d gone back and forth as the anger and hurt had waned but one thing stood clear in her mind.
“No, I want him to love Amelia. Visit her. Care about her life. I just don’t see that happening anytime soon. If at all.”
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