by Brynley Bush
“You are beyond wise. Thank you.” I take another swig of wine from the bottle, grateful for both her wisdom and her friendship. I look around; there are no cameras here, just the two of us under the starry sky.
“I’m new to this,” I confess. “I came onto the show with Emmett because my summer internship fell through, I had no money and no place to live. I’m not submissive. At least I didn’t think I was. Now I don’t know what to think, and it scares the shit out of me. I love the things Roman does to me and how he makes me feel, but I don’t know if it’s because of him or because I’m really a submissive and would have responded like this to any Dom. But you definitely nailed it. Roman makes me feel alive, even when he hurts me. Especially when he hurts me.”
She’s looking at me with her mouth hanging open. “Are you serious? Not about the confusion and scared-shitless feeling. That’s completely normal, and I promise you it’ll pass. Or even the part about Roman’s sadistic side making you feel alive, although I’m pretty sure that’s not normal.”
I laugh.
“You seemed pretty shy and nervous at the beginning, but several of us were on the inexperienced side, and I figured that’s one of the reasons they picked you. You know, diversity. You’ve really never done any of this before you came on the show?”
I shake my head with a self-deprecating laugh. “Looking back now, I can see how crazy it was to come on the show. God, I was insane! But to be fair, Emmett was supposed to be my partner, and I thought I’d just have to act like a submissive here and there. I’m a pretty decent actress.”
“I’ll say,” she breathes incredulously. “So is Emmett even a Dom?” She waves her hand dismissively. “Never mind. I know the answer to that. He’s sweeter than Roman, but just as commanding. He’s definitely a Dom. But I really believed he was your Dom. There’s something between you two. He’s so protective of you.”
“Yeah, he thinks it’s his job to watch out for me. Emmett’s my best friend, and I love him with all my heart, but it’s not like that between us. He’s like a brother to me.”
She’s looking at me carefully. “Are you sure? Neither one of you has feelings for the other?”
“Absolutely not!” I assure her.
But later as I lie awake in bed, her questions haunt me. I’ve always held the woman inside me at bay, never thinking of myself as a sensual being, and Emmett has always respected that. Now that I’ve discovered this part of myself, will anything be different between us? Surely not.
The next morning, a limousine picks all the submissives up and takes us on a tour of the wineries of the region as the camera crew follows us, documenting our adventure. Emmett and Roman were right; the interaction between the contestants is clearly part of what the audience wants, and we give them plenty of material as we candidly discuss our Doms, the Helix, and the games. I’m naturally reticent, and I don’t say much about Roman, but Tessa and Carly tease me about his sadistic tendencies, and I end up defending him, much to the camera crew’s intense interest. The dynamic between the submissives is apparent when we’re all thrown together without our Doms, and it’s clear that Rebecca and Megan are in one camp, and Tessa and I are in the other with Carly diplomatically bridging the two. Although Rebecca is her typical condescending self, Rachel’s presence, along with the camera crew, keeps her vindictive cattiness somewhat at bay, at least until we’re alone in our room getting ready for dinner.
“So what’s your angle?” she asks conversationally, walking into the bathroom where I’m putting on my makeup.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say evenly, keeping my eyes on my reflection in the mirror as I carefully apply a coat of mascara.
“Well, whatever it is, it’s working,” she says, sitting down on the edge of the tub. “Somehow you’re in first place despite your obvious inexperience. But you have to know that sooner or later, you’re not going to be enough for Roman. You won’t be able to keep him.”
“I don’t want to keep him,” I reply matter-of-factly. “He’s just my partner for the games.”
“Right, because you have Emmett to go back to when the games are over. I’ve heard that Roman bid on you just to take you away from Emmett. Guys are so competitive! They always want what they can’t have.”
I sneak a look at her. She’s inspecting her nails nonchalantly. For a moment, I wonder if what she’s saying is true. Maybe Roman had only wanted me because Emmett did. Roman had jumped in with the winning bid at the last minute when everyone else had dropped out. Maybe I was just a pawn in some stupid show of male ego, and Roman had never really wanted me specifically. Emmett was the only Dom who’d scored even close to Roman.
I mentally shake my head. It doesn’t matter. After the games are over, Roman and I will go our separate ways anyway. Unless we win. The thought of being able to continue this…thing with Roman indefinitely at the club has my pulse racing and hope blooming. Maybe it doesn’t have to end with the games. Maybe if we had more time, this could turn into something more.
Rebecca interrupts my thoughts.
“I wonder if Emmett will be glad that Roman’s trained you, or if you’ll be ruined in his eyes because you’ve belonged to someone else.”
She’s a world-class bitch. I don’t give her the satisfaction of answering. “We should go, or we’ll be late for dinner,” I say, snapping the cap onto my lipstick.
She follows me out of the bathroom and into our suite as I dig the room key out of my purse.
“Don’t worry,” she continues, opening the door. “I don’t want Emmett. He’s gorgeous, but to be honest Roman is more my type. He’s the best Dominant on the show, and I’m the best submissive. As soon as I win, and I will, I’ll make sure he goes all the way to the top with me, and you can have Emmett back. Of course, now he’ll know what he’s missing being with a timid little rabbit like you, but maybe it will be enough. God knows why, but he seems to have a thing for you.”
Even though I know she is just trying to provoke me, the conversation with Rebecca leaves me in a bad mood, and I’m quiet throughout dinner. Rebecca, on the other hand, is vivacious and animated, talking about Roman like she’s his partner instead of Emmett’s. Unfortunately, she seems to know a lot about him.
“He’s legendary at the Dominion Club in San Francisco,” she says. “He goes through submissives like he goes through underwear, but they all line up for a night with him anyway because no one can top a submissive like Roman Castile.”
I try to quell the stab of jealousy I feel. Of course I knew Roman didn’t become the kind of Dom he is by being celibate, but the thought of him doing the things we’ve done with an endless succession of other women makes me sick. I suddenly feel dirty, and nausea roils in my stomach as I realize what Roman and I have has never been real. I’m just another submissive to him, albeit maybe one who’s more of a challenge because he thought I belonged to someone else.
“And he’s simply amazing with a flogger,” Rebecca gushes. “One of my friends says he can make a woman come in less than five minutes with nothing but a whip.” She looks at me innocently. “Is that true, Ava?”
“I don’t know,” I say tightly. “It’s a hard limit. I don’t like whips.”
She flashes me a triumphant look. “Ah, that’s a pity. Maybe Emmett will let Roman use me for a demonstration sometime.”
Tessa squeezes my hand under the table. “Ignore her,” she murmurs under her breath. “She’s clearly sexually frustrated.”
I give her a tight smile.
The hotel manager arrives to see if everything has been satisfactory, and Rachel thanks her graciously for her hospitality.
“It has been my pleasure,” the manager says. “I’m so glad you’re here. I have to admit I’ve become a fan of the show, and it’s been so exciting to be a small part of it. Besides, you ladies are good luck. Not only have I been fortunate enough to host all of you and have my hotel featured on the hottest reality TV show right now, but one of the presidential candidate
s is also dining with us tonight, along with the mayor of San Francisco and several GOP leaders.”
I feel the blood drain from my face.
“Which candidate?” I ask, trying to feign nonchalance.
“Senator Anthony Sanderson from Seattle,” she says brightly. “He’s such a nice man and so in touch with the key issues that affect women. They’re finishing up a meeting right now, and then they’ll be in here for drinks and dinner. Feel free to stay. He assured my staff that he welcomes any of our guests to approach him; he apparently loves any opportunity to meet his potential constituents.”
Now I’m really going to be sick. I push my chair away from the table, making up some excuse about not feeling well, and practically run out of the dining room. I look around wildly, not sure where to go. Rebecca had been watching me with narrow-eyed speculation during the entire conversation with the hotel manager, and I simply can’t deal with her and her vindictiveness and shrewd inquisitiveness right now. But I also can’t risk running into my stepfather. Having him see me on the show is one thing. Having a personal confrontation with him here is inconceivable. I may be stronger than I was, but I’m still not strong enough to come face-to-face with the man who ruined my life.
I end up hiding out in an out-of-the-way nook of the garden until my stomach finally settles and my heart stops pounding. I stay there until the sky grows dark, and I’m starting to doze when I’m caught off guard by a movement beyond the hedge. A girl in her late twenties slips into my hiding place.
“Oh, sorry!” she says, looking at me in surprise.
“It’s fine. I was just leaving.”
“You don’t have to leave on my account,” she says, sinking down onto a nearby bench that’s painted bright red. “I won’t be here long. I just needed to escape for a minute. My mother and future mother-in-law and I are here for dinner to go over the details of my wedding. Not that you’d know it to hear them talk.” She rolls her eyes. “Neither of them seems to realize it’s my wedding or consider anything I want. I had to leave before I shanked them both. Are you married?”
I shake my head.
“Well, take my advice and elope.”
I can’t help but laugh. She’s a welcome breath of fresh air.
She looks at me more closely. “Hey, I know you.”
I feel goose bumps prick along my skin. “You do?”
“Yeah, you’re the girl from that show, The Power Games, aren’t you? I heard you guys were here, but I didn’t believe it. My mother couldn’t stop talking about some presidential douche bag who’s also supposed to be here, but I haven’t seen him either.” She doesn’t wait for an answer before continuing excitedly, “Oh, my God. You’re Avalon!”
“Ava,” I correct automatically, but the sound of my given name doesn’t hurt the way it used to. Now it just reminds me of Roman. “Do you watch the show?” I ask curiously. Although I knew the show was being televised, I’d never imagined that someone as normal as the bride-to-be sitting across from me might watch it.
“Of course! Everyone I know watches it. It’s one of the most popular shows this summer. It is so hot!” She lowers her voice conspiratorially. “You’re my favorite. I’ve voted for you ever since I started watching. I just love you and Roman together.”
“You do?” I’m having trouble processing what she’s saying.
She sighs dramatically. “Mmm, he’s so intimidating but so yummy! And so alpha male! Matthew, my fiancé, always comes over to watch with me because he knows he’s going to get laid afterward. And you’re amazing. I love your spunk and how you don’t always just cave in to him. Is this really the first time you’ve experienced the whole bondage thing?”
I nod.
She keeps talking, and she reminds me reassuringly of Tessa. “It’s so sweet, and so hot, how he always blindfolds you to make things easier for you.” She pauses. “Oh, my God. You’re the Blindfold Girl! I’ve seen your pictures advertising the Helix Club. I just didn’t put two and two together until now. I know you because I watch the show, but there are pictures of you everywhere advertising the Helix, and everyone wants to know who you are. You’re just known as the Blindfold Girl.”
This is exactly what I wanted, but somehow I don’t feel nearly as triumphant about it as I thought I would. I don’t know what to think. I just know that I have to get out of here.
“It was really nice meeting you, but I have to go. I was actually hiding out here myself. We’re technically not supposed to have any contact with the public while the games are being filmed, so please don’t say anything about seeing me here.”
She winks. “Your secret’s safe with me. I was hiding out too. Good luck. And by the way, I’m Team Roman all the way!”
Team Roman? I smile and wave as I walk back toward the hotel, wondering what the hell she’s talking about.
Luckily, my stepfather and his entourage are gone by the time I get back to the hotel, so I don’t have to worry about running into him anymore. I go to bed after my encounter with the girl in the gardens, and I feign sleep when Rebecca returns to our room. But I toss and turn until after one, and when I arrive for breakfast, the dining room is empty except for Rachel.
“Are you feeling better?” she asks, her eyes filled with concern.
“Yes, I’m sorry I ran out last night. I think it was all the wine. Looks like I almost missed breakfast too.” I smile apologetically.
“Actually, I’m glad we can have a few minutes alone,” she says. “You know Roman and Logan are friends.” It’s a statement, not a question, and I nod.
“Roman told me he and Logan have been friends for a long time.”
“They’re like brothers. I adore Roman as a person, even though he scares me senseless as a Dominant. He’s always had that commanding presence that makes everyone—submissive or not—automatically defer to him, and even though I know he has a sadist streak, at least at the club, he’s a good person.”
“I know that.”
She sighs. “You’re good for him. He’s different with you. Ever since Natasha, he seems to think that he’s beyond redemption. Maybe you can save him.”
I smile wistfully. I’m not sure I can save myself, much less Roman. “Who’s Natasha?” I ask curiously.
Her surprised gaze meets mine. “His wife.”
“Roman’s married?” I ask, stunned.
“Was.” She looks at me contritely. “I’m sorry. I thought you knew.”
“It’s okay. He’s just my partner for the games. I really don’t know Roman all that well.”
Except I do. I know the feel of his golden-brown skin when it’s glistening with sweat and taut with pleasure, and the way it contrasts against my own pale skin. I know the way his eyes darken with hunger, and the intense look on his face when he sinks himself into me. I know his hands that can equally bring me both pain and pleasure. And I know that while he’s haunted by the demons that make him who he is, he’s also the most bighearted and honorable man I’ve ever met, and I know that I can trust him. But most of all, I know that somehow he’s the only man who’s been able to breach the fortress around my heart, and whether I like it or not, I’m starting to fall for him.
But apparently I’m not the only one with secrets.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Roman
Although Logan had originally intended for the contestants to spend the afternoon together seeing the sights of San Francisco before the group event at his club tonight, my work emergency has changed his plans, and he’s decided to let each of the Doms arrange an afternoon date on their own with their submissives instead. It’s the first time Logan has changed anything on the show for me, but since it doesn’t have any real impact on the games or the outcome, I don’t feel bad about it. Besides, the fucker owes me after the event in the Helix Room.
After we arrived on Thursday, Logan and I had stayed up well into the night drinking whiskey and catching up, and I’d told him exactly how I’d felt about having Ava made available to
every bastard in the club. I’d also assured him I’d fucking kill him if he pulled anything like that again. He’d simply laughed and said that was the games and I’d have to deal with it like everyone else.
Outside the Ritz-Carlton where we’re staying, I wait impatiently with the other Doms for the limousine to arrive with the girls. I can’t wait to see Ava, and I hope to find some time after I deal with work to show her around the city that’s my home. Hopefully she’ll be able to see herself here once the games are over. Because I intend to have her. Now that I’ve had a taste of her sweet submission, I can’t let her go.
The limo pulls to a stop, and the girls get out one by one. Ava’s last, and she hangs back uncertainly. I suppress a growl of irritation. Like hell am I going to let her doubt for a second what’s grown between us. It’s been a long three days without her, and I’m not having her forget she’s mine. I’ve craved her submission in her absence, and the Dom in me demands her acknowledgment of me as her master now that she’s here again. I close the distance between us, my dick throbbing at the sight of her in a short skirt and blouse, my collar encircling her neck.
Her eyes meet mine, and the air between us crackles with sexual energy.
I crush her to me, fisting my hands in her hair as I take her mouth possessively, enforcing that she belongs to me. She resists at first, which only makes me harder, and I compel her compliance with my tongue pressed against the seam of her lips until she opens to me with sigh. Then she’s kissing me back, her tongue tangling with mine with a sweet desperation that matches my own.
“I missed you, schiava,” I say softly.
A little shudder judders up her spine as she leans into me. “I missed you too,” she says heavily. She doesn’t sound too happy about the admission.
A few minutes later, the valet pulls up in my black Maserati, and I help Ava into the passenger seat before buckling myself in and easing away from the hotel and into San Francisco traffic.
“This is your car?” she says wonderingly, her fingers stroking the rich leather interior.