“Well, you need to tell him right away. A fella needs to hear that kind of news.”
“But . . . well . . .” Marty heaved a sigh. “I’m afraid to get his hopes up.”
“Why?” Hannah looked at her oddly.
Marty bit her lip and turned away. “It’s hard to get excited when . . . well . . . I could lose the baby. I did before.”
Hannah forced Marty to face her. “You never told me.”
“I know.” Marty shook her head. “I thought it better if you just figured I couldn’t get pregnant. Thomas and I were so saddened by the losses.”
“More than one?”
Marty nodded. “I don’t want Jake to have to go through that. That’s one of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to come back to Texas.”
“I don’t understand,” Hannah said. “Why would that be a problem?”
“Dr. Sutton told me that miscarriage is common here because we’re closer to the equator.”
Hannah rolled her eyes. “That old man needs to retire. I was just talking with Carissa about this. It’s nonsense. There’s no such thing as a gravity pull that causes miscarriage. That’s old superstition and nonsense. Women miscarry in the North as well as the South. Some babies just don’t get to be born. It’s sad but true. We have no way of knowin’ why. But I can tell you this, Marty, it has nothin’ to do with Texas.”
“How can you be so sure?” Marty wanted to believe her sister. She knew the doctor in Denver had told her much the same thing, but it seemed that men of science often told people whatever was the most popular theory of the day. “How can you know that I won’t lose this baby, too?”
“I can’t know that, Marty. But I do know that only God can create or take a life and that we have to trust Him. It’s hard, to be sure, but you won’t benefit yourself or the child by worrying and fretting.”
“I want to believe that.”
Hannah smiled. “Then do. This is a time of joy. You need to let Jake know as soon as possible. I won’t stand for you keeping it from him any longer. By the way, when should we expect this little one?”
Marty put her hand to her stomach. “August. Or maybe July. I’m really not sure.”
Hannah nodded. “Good summer months for birthing. And I’ll help you through it all. Alice and I will help you make baby clothes, and we’ll fix up a nursery, and you can just stay here with us. I don’t want you to overdo it.”
Hannah directed them to start back toward the house. “Now, I want to know everything about your miscarriages. How far along were you? What were you doing when the pain started?”
Marty couldn’t get a word in edgewise as they went back into the kitchen. Alice threw Marty a smile but said nothing. There was simply no chance of it with Hannah’s animated chatter.
Later that day, Jake invited Marty to go riding with him. She asked Hannah if she thought it would be all right, given her condition, and her sister assured her that many women rode well into their pregnancy.
Marty changed into a split skirt for the occasion and made her way to where Jake already had the horses saddled and ready. She’d grown up riding astride, as many women in Texas did, and was pleased to see that Jake hadn’t prepared the feminine sidesaddle.
He helped her into the stirrup and up atop the gentle brown mare before heading over to his own mount.
“I bought this chestnut gelding in Lufkin after getting my first pay. The Vandermarks had some friends who made me a good deal, otherwise I’d still be afoot.” He climbed atop the tall horse and smiled. “His name is Bobbin. Not sure why, but the woman who had him told me he knows his name, and she begged me not to even think of changin’ it.”
Marty couldn’t help but smile. “Bobbin isn’t such a bad name.”
They moved the horses down the lane and headed out toward Marty’s ranch. She had been the one to suggest the destination, and Jake seemed pleased with the idea. She didn’t know if anyone had bothered to show him the spread or not, but she wanted to talk to him about the baby and about her fears before any more time could slip away.
The ranch house was nearly five miles away, but the day was beautiful, with blue skies that didn’t even hint at rain. They talked about the work Jake had been doing, and Marty could hear in his voice a kind of joy she’d never known him to have when they were in Denver.
“So I suppose you don’t want to ever consider banking again?”
“Banking?” he asked, looking over from his mount. “Seriously?”
“Sure. Texas has banks, too.” She tucked an errant strand of hair back under her hat. “And things won’t be bad forever.”
“My heart isn’t in banking, Marty. I thought you’d understand that by now.”
She did understand it, but that didn’t mean she didn’t hope to change his mind. “You know, the older you get, the harder ranch work is going to be. I look at Will and he’s aged a lot just in the last year.” Marty didn’t bother to add that her brother-in-law only looked better for it.
“I’m trying to keep my focus on what God wants for me,” Jake told her. “I feel His presence in my ranch work. That never happened with banking.”
“Well, one can hardly argue with the presence of God,” Marty muttered.
“Look, I know you worry about my safety, but I’ve been careful. I never was one for takin’ undue risks, anyway,” he said with a grin. “That’s for your brother. Given the stories your sister and Will told about him, I’m surprised he lived to be grown.”
Marty laughed at this. “Andy was always daring. He said taking risks made him feel alive. He never wanted to be one to die with his boots off.”
“And you can laugh about that in a brother but not in a husband?” he asked good-naturedly. “Honestly, Marty, you gotta let me be a man. One day, who knows, we might have sons, and you’ll have to let them be men, too.”
Marty swallowed hard. They had just reached the ranch, and he’d given her the perfect opportunity to tell Jake the truth about the baby.
“Hmm, would you mind helping me down?” Marty asked. “I’d like to walk the rest of the way.”
Jake quickly complied and all but lifted Marty off the horse. He let her slowly sink to the ground and gave her a quick peck on the nose. “You are a beauty, Mrs. Wythe.” He went to tie the horses off in a grassy patch and then returned to Marty and offered her his arm. “I do need to confess, I came out here with your brother-in-law.”
“I thought Will might have brought you here.” She took hold of his arm and began to walk. “He is usually a very thorough man. However, I’d like to return to something you said earlier.”
“What’s that?” He looked at her with one brow raised.
“You said that I have to let you be a man, and that I would have to let our sons be men.”
“Well, you sure don’t wanna turn boys into sissies. I wouldn’t stand for that. It seems to me that there are already a lot of sissified men—”
“Jake, I’m gonna have a baby,” she interrupted.
He immediately shut up and turned to face her. His expression changed almost immediately from shock to sheer joy. He gave a yell loud enough to be heard in Dallas and lifted Marty in his arms.
“Why didn’t you say so sooner! Wahoooo! This is the best news ever!” He whirled around with Marty in his arms then set her back on the ground. “When?”
“August. Or maybe as early as July. I can’t be sure.”
“But that’s only about five or six more months. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I only found out for sure after you’d gone. Then there were other things . . . fears that kept me from saying anything—especially in a letter.”
He looked at her oddly. “What kinds of things?”
“I couldn’t help remembering the times Thomas and I thought we were going to have a little one. I miscarried and lost those babies. I feared the same might come true this time around. Of course, I also thought a lot of it had to do with living in Texas. The doctor here told me that
there were a lot more miscarriages due to the heavier gravity because we’re closer to the equator.”
“That sounds like hogwash,” Jake replied.
“That’s what my sister and the doctor in Denver said, too. But I couldn’t help worry, because the doctor here said otherwise.” She shook her head and raised her hands in surrender. “Call me silly or dim-witted. I’m still not sure what to believe, although this is the longest I’ve managed to carry a child.”
“Oh, darlin’, you aren’t silly or dim-witted. Stubborn, yes. Given to exaggeration? Hmm, on occasion.” He laughed. “You don’t need to be afraid that Texas is gonna cause you to lose the baby, Marty. Lots of women have babies in Texas.” He grinned and the delight was reflected in his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m a papa.”
“We still have six months to get through,” Marty declared.
Jake shook his head. “Nope, I’m already Papa to this little one.” He put his hand to Marty’s waist. “I can hardly wait. Marty, you’ve made me the happiest man in the world.”
“But you’d be even happier if I said yes to moving back here to the ranch, wouldn’t you?”
He withdrew his touch. “Marty, I can’t lie and say that ranching isn’t what I wanna do. But, I will say this. If livin’ here where you made a home with your first husband makes you uncomfortable, we’ll live elsewhere.”
Marty sighed. There was no possibility of changing her destiny. Texas and ranching were always going to be a part of her life. She gave Jake a smile. “This place is nice,” she told him. “The trees provide cool shade in the summertime. There’s a river that flows across the property, and while it gets low in times of drought, it doesn’t usually run dry.” She choked a bit on the words. “It’s a good house, too. Will and most of the men in the community came and helped Thomas build it. It’s sturdy. Oh, and there’s a wonderful root cellar that’s good for storms as well as food storage.”
Jake took her in his arms. “You’re a good woman, Marty. I promise to do everything I can to make you happy. I love you.”
She fought back tears. “I love you, Jake. I was so unhappy with you gone. I’m sorry that I’m so afraid. I don’t mean to be. I wanna trust this to God, but sometimes I just remember seein’ Thomas lying there . . . the blood . . . the—”
“Shh, let it go. You don’t need to be dwellin’ on such things, especially now that you have our little one to think on.” He smoothed back a lock of hair. “I want you to be happy, Marty. We don’t have to live here.”
She nodded and reached up to touch his face. “Hannah would like us to stay on with them a while. I told her about losing the other babies, and she wants to take care of me.”
“I’d like that, too. It’ll be a sight easier to go off and work away from the ranch if I know you’re being looked after. Between her and Alice, you’ll be in good hands. I’m happy for us to stay put. I just hope one day you’ll be ready for us to run our own ranch.”
Marty let out a ragged breath. “One day, I will be. I promise.”
Chapter 14
“You seem mighty deep in thought,” Robert said, coming to sit at the small table by the fireplace.
Alice had positioned herself there to gain a little warmth from the hearth. The evening had turned cool, and the chill seemed to cut clear to the bone. She tugged at the edges of her shawl, feeling rather nervous in the presence of Robert Barnett. “I suppose I have a great deal on my mind,” she answered.
“Would you like to play a game of checkers?” He motioned to the board on the table.
“Why not?” She shrugged. “It won’t interfere with anything I have planned.”
He laughed. “You know, for someone who’s just eighteen, you have an old spirit.”
Alice looked at him quizzically for a moment. “What makes you say that?”
Please don’t make this about my injury and how brave I am to live my life.
Robert shook his head and arranged the checkers on the board. “I don’t know. It’s just something about you. You’ve been through a lot, so I suppose that has something to do with it. It just seems that other ladies your age are flighty and immature. They seem a whole lot more interested in the next party or a new dress.” He gave a chuckle and added, “And most are completely obsessed with tryin’ to find a husband.”
Alice couldn’t hide her frown, nor did she try to. “Well, it goes without saying, but I’m certainly not doing that.”
He cocked his head to one side. “And why not? You’re a lovely woman.” He smiled. “And just because you’re a deep thinker doesn’t mean you can’t marry.”
Alice didn’t want to talk about such things. Still careful to keep her face turned to the right so that her scar was less visible, she asked, “What makes you so sure my thoughts are all that deep?”
He chose a red checker and made his first move. “Well, you sure don’t talk much, and for a female I find that interesting in itself. Havin’ grown up with sisters and a ma who all speak their mind, finding someone like you is a real treat.” He nodded toward the game. “So why don’t you take a turn at the board and tell me what deep thoughts you were thinkin’.”
Alice felt her face grow warm under his scrutiny. She moved her black checker. “I was thinking about my mother, if you must know.”
He moved again. “I heard Aunt Marty say you thought she was dead but recently found out otherwise.”
“Yes.” Alice selected another checker without thought. “That’s it exactly. Marty’s been after me to send my mother a letter and let her know where I am.”
“But you don’t want to?” He continued to stare at the board, seeming to ponder his choices.
“I don’t know. It might just tip over a big can of worms if I do.”
He looked up and smiled. He had the most beautiful eyes, and his face was like a fine sculpture, chiseled in warm flesh tones instead of cold marble. He was the kind of man she’d always dreamed of—before the accident. Alice felt her heart skip a beat.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Why am I so consumed by this man all of the sudden? Am I falling in love?
The idea startled her. She would never have admitted her thoughts to anyone, not even Marty.
“Might not,” Robert said and slid a checker into place.
“Might not what?” Alice asked, forcing the confusion from her mind.
“Knock over a can of worms. It might be a real good thing.”
Alice looked at the board for a moment and then glanced to where Hannah was showing Marty some kind of crocheting stitch at the other end of the room. William Barnett had settled in a large chair near them and was reading a book. Even so, it was as if Alice and Robert were the only people in the room. She felt self-conscious and again tugged at her shawl.
“I suppose it just comes down to me being afraid,” she admitted. Alice stopped and shook her head. “I really don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. I hardly know you.”
“Does that matter?” He looked at her as if her words had somehow hurt him. “I wasn’t tryin’ to pry.”
“I realize that,” Alice said, softening her tone. “I hope I didn’t offend you.”
“Not at all. I guess I just find your story to be . . . well . . . interesting. But more than that. It’s like a puzzle to be solved. I guess I like to see things put in order.”
“So you think I should write to her?”
“Does it matter what I think?”
Alice stopped trying to figure out her next move and folded her arms. “I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want your answer.”
He chuckled and leaned back in the chair. “Then yes, I think you should write to her. I think you should ask her all those troubling questions and demand answers.”
A smile touched the corners of Alice’s lips. “Demand answers? Is that what you would do?”
“I’m a man who likes to get right down to the point.”
“I don’t know if the address I have for her is any good. And
she might very well be dead.”
“And you’ll never know either way unless you write to her.”
Alice nodded, knowing he was right. “I have been thinking that same thing. I asked your mother if I could borrow some writing paper. I just haven’t been able to make up my mind.”
“I can’t tell you why, but I don’t think you’ll be sorry . . . Alice.” He paused. “It is all right if I call you Alice, isn’t it? We tend to be pretty informal out here.”
“Of course.” Losing herself for a moment in his blue eyes, she paused. Here was a man with whom she could talk, share her heart, and not feel uncomfortable. She straightened up, no longer trying to hide her face. He didn’t look away. “I’d like for you to call me Alice.”
“Good. And you call me Robert. We’ll be the best of friends, and tomorrow I will take you out riding after I finish my work. If I finish. Pa has a way of finding new tasks for me all the time.”
She stiffened. “I don’t know how to ride.”
He gave a low chuckle. “Good thing I do, then. Your lessons will start tomorrow.” He moved his checker over one of hers and grinned. “Better get your mind back on the game. I’ve just taken one of your pieces.”
More than that, she thought, you may well have taken a piece of my heart.
Alice looked over the words she’d just written, spending some time on the chilly February morning in her room. She’d thought long about what she would say to her mother, and even then the letter had been hard to write.
What will you think when you get this? How can we possibly put aside all the years lost and all the pain?
She held up the sheet of writing paper and began to read aloud.
“Dear Mama,
“I can’t believe you are still alive. When Mrs. Ingram told me the truth, I didn’t know quite what to think. About a year after you’d gone away, Father told me you and Simon had died. It’s been over a year since you wrote to Mrs. Ingram, but I decided to try this address and let you know that I am alive and well.
Moment in Time, A (Lone Star Brides Book #2) Page 13