He wouldn’t have asked me to come if he was angry with me. Or if he is angry, he’s hiding it well.
I strip out of my skirt and blouse and pull on the first things I find in my duffel: yoga pants and a T-shirt. What if we do stay the night? Or the weekend for that matter. Mar’s gone until Sunday. Today is Friday. Yes, we could stay the whole weekend. We’ll talk. We’ll sail. We’ll strategize. We’ll make up.
Yes, I want very much to make up.
When I’m changed I head back up top. He unties the lines, and we motor away from the dock. We enter a long and twisting, narrow waterway bordered by spooky, eerie mangrove trees. There are hundreds of them growing straight out of the water, their trunks and limbs tangled together to form a maze of gray, knobby arms.
“It’s beautiful,” I whisper. “And weird. Like a fairy tale.”
“Why are you whispering?” Riel whispers back.
I smile. “I don’t know. Seemed like I needed to or something.”
We fall into a comfortable silence after that, passing the last mangroves and entering the open ocean. Unlike being on The Quest, calm water spans out in all directions to meet the horizon. I glance over my shoulder and watch the mangroves fade into the distance.
Riel cuts the engine and hoists the sails. “We’re bordered here by land and reef. Nothing but smooth seas. I promise.”
Closing my eyes, I take a slow, deep breath and for the first time in a week I feel a modicum of calmness. It’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.
I breathe in again, absorbing the salty air. My ears tune into the water lapping the hull, the wind rustling the sails, the whistling of the mast, the creaking of the boom.
With a content sigh, I open my eyes and gaze at Riel. His dark hair rustles around his face and neck, curling from the moisture in the air. I’m reminded of the first time I saw him and how I thought he looked like that Calvin Klein ad my momma has hanging in her locker at work. Just thinking about it makes me smile.
“What?” Riel asks, smiling, too.
“Do you know who Antonio Sabato Junior is?”
Riel thinks about that for a second. “Isn’t he a model or something?”
“Yes. He’s in his forties now, but back when he was twenty something he did these underwear ads for Calvin Klein. Anyway, my momma has one of them hanging in her locker at work. The first time I saw you and your crazy dimples, I thought you looked just like him. Sitting here looking at you right now, you do all over again.”
“Viola, one day I’ve got to meet this momma of yours.”
“Oh, Lord,” I tease, though I love the way that sounds. I love that he’s thinking about meeting my momma. “Fair warning, she’ll flirt with you.”
He winks. “I can handle a little harmless flirting.”
My heart opens wide at Riel and how wonderful he is. I don’t want to lose him. Whatever it is he wants to say when we talk, I will listen, and I will reciprocate with honesty and truth. We will figure all this out.
He nods to the water. “Hey, don’t miss the scenery.”
I glance over my shoulder and the side of the boat. “Wow, it’s like a swimming pool it’s so clear. How deep are we?”
“Hundred foot or so.”
I turn to get a better look at the bright green vegetation growing straight up from the ocean floor and the sand crystals sparkling along the bottom. A school of bright orange fish dart past us and I smile. “Is this place for real?”
“I know. I love it out here.” Riel loops rope around a winch and tightens a sail. “We’re heading to Grecian Rocks to snorkel. It’s got great coral and fish. Cool barracuda, too.”
I lift my brows. “Barracuda?”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of some creepy fish with big teeth.”
“Um, yeah?”
“They’re harmless and curious. They won’t attack unless provoked. Just don’t wear anything flashy. They’re attracted to the shininess.”
“I’ve never been snorkeling.” Not much need for it in Tennessee. “Anything else?”
“Let’s see…” He scans the water. “Sharks. Make sure you keep an eye out when you’re snorkeling.”
“What?”
“I’m kidding! Snorkeling’s easy. You’ll see.”
We fall into another comfortable silence, and awhile later we make it to Grecian Rocks and tie off to a moored buoy.
“We’ve got enough time for one snorkel before it gets dark,” he says. “Little bit of fun and then we’ll talk, okay?”
I’d rather talk now, but he’s calling the shots on this. It’s his pace, so I agree. “Sounds good.”
“Water’s chilly, but I have a wetsuit that should fit you. Do you have a bathing suit?”
I nod. I have everything. My whole life is in that duffle.
“Go get it on and meet me back up here.”
Down below, I get into the same bikini I wore that day I went to the beach with Abbie and her friends. Seems like a lifetime ago now. They’d been in their expensive resort wear, and me in my Wal-Mart suit. But now as I tie the red polka-dotted strings on the back, I don’t even care. I mean, really, what does it matter? It’s a decent suit. Even if it did only cost me five bucks.
Yet this is the first time Riel has seen me this naked, and though I don’t want them to, my ex’s words filter in about needing to lose ten pounds. With a hesitant few steps, I climb up to where Riel waits, and his eyes flare as he takes me in. From my black hair down across my bikini top, past my stomach, and trailing all the way to my purple-painted toes.
He coughs and dramatically slams his chest with his fist, and I smile. Thank you, Wal-Mart, and thank you to the ten pounds I didn’t lose.
He’s already in his skin-hugging wetsuit, and I almost drool at the outline of every single muscle in his arms, chest, and legs. I knew he was built, but there’s built. And then there’s built. He was made to wear a wetsuit.
“This,” I tell him, waving my finger in the air, “is a look you need to wear every day.”
His hot gaze trails back up my body. “Okay, but if I wear this every day, then you have to wear that.”
Maybe we could skip snorkeling and I could try to get him out of that thing.
“Here.” He hands me a wetsuit that I just now realize he’s holding. Then he steps around me and heads toward the bow of the boat, giving me some space to put this thing on.
Wiggling into a wetsuit is not exactly easy, and it takes me a good solid couple of minutes to figure it all out. When I’m ready, I try to zip it up, but can’t figure out how, and end up asking, “Mind zipping me?”
Riel zips me up. Slowly. His hands lingering on my bare back. Then he moves my hair aside, and I feel his fingers on my neck right where the zipper meets skin. I hear him breathe in. Out. In. He leans closer, and every muscle in my core contracts with need. It takes everything in me not to sway back into him. This has to be his move. I want it to be.
I close my eyes. Please say you want to skip snorkeling. We can make up first, then talk. I can be out of this wetsuit in split-second timing. Snorkeling can be tomorrow.
His hands wrap around my upper arms, and I glance down to watch his beautiful fingers gently squeeze right before he releases me and takes a step back. I don’t turn to face him, but the space he just put between us gapes with a cold void.
Stepping around me, he hands me a mask, snorkel, and flippers, and very professionally, he helps me put it all on. “Just keep the snorkel open to the air and you’ll be fine. If you dive, blow hard to clear when you surface.”
For whatever reason, he’s dead set on us doing this snorkeling thing. So I’ll roll with it, and I’ll have fun.
We enter the ocean and hang suspended, staring at the underwater life. Our boat floats directly above a gigantic brain coral, and green leaves as big as me sway in the current. One oversized trout moseys by, and I smile.
Riel stays close to my side until I get the hang of the snorkel/breathing thing. Mom
ents pass, and I signal to him I’m okay before swimming off on my own. When I glance back, I see him dive down and circle a purple fan.
Below me sits a huge clump of pink coral, lopsided in the sand. I float above it, staring down, loving the tickling feel of the water flowing through my long hair.
A blue fish swims in front of me, and I jerk, gurgling at my own skittishness. I glance back toward Riel and see him jabbing his finger beyond me.
I turn then, and I freeze when I see a three-foot barracuda moving in.
It draws closer, and I concentrate on not making any sudden movements. It comes closer still, inches away now, and my heart jackknifes to a banging that I know has to be vibrating the water surrounding us.
Riel wraps his arm around me and pulls me tight against him. Slowly, ever so slowly, he swims me back to the boat. I keep my eye on the barracuda the whole way, following us at first, then losing interest and heading off.
We surface at the ladder, and I scramble up. “That thing’s half my size!”
Riel stands on the bottom rung. “Yes, it was. You did good, though.” He gives me a quick survey. “I take it you’re done?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m not going to be his dinner.”
Smiling, Riel tosses his mask into the boat. “You’re cute when you’re panicked.”
“Glad you’re having fun at my expense,” I tease as I unfasten my fins.
He nods over to the right where a bottle of dish detergent sits. “Grab that Joy. Mixed with salt water it’ll give you a clean bath.”
“No kidding, really?”
“Yep.” He strips out of his wet suit and drapes it over the side of the boat, leaving him standing in a pair of black swim trunks.
I don’t bother disguising my avid interest in his delicious half-naked body as I hand him the soap. “No, I changed my mind. This is your look.”
Laughing, he starts soaping his body. “Go ahead. Strip. I won’t look.”
Yet he absolutely does, and I don’t mind at all as I easily slide out of my wetsuit. It’s much better getting out than in. He hands me the soap and I lather up.
When we’re both covered in suds, he says, “You ready for this? Without a wetsuit it’s going to be cold.”
From the cockpit I step up on the side of the boat. “I’m more worried about our little friend.” I scan the clear water and see nothing. Not even those cute little orange fish.
Riel climbs up beside me . “Don’t worry, he’s gone. Ready?” He gives me a look. “One. Two. Three!”
With a shriek, I leap, and holy crap he’s right it’s cold!
Under the water I briskly run my hands over my skin, watching the suds float away, and when I surface, his amber eyes greet mine.
He grins. “You shrieked.”
I splash him in the face. “I’m a girl.”
Laughing, he swims to the ladder, and I follow. Gripping one side, he motions for me to climb up first, and I float in. I grasp the rungs at the same time a wave goes by and pushes our bodies together.
“Sorry,” I mumble, not even sure why I’m apologizing because I’m certainly not sorry at all.
He clears his throat. “You go on up. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Reluctantly, I do. I know why he’s in that water. I felt it against my rear. But I pretend like I don’t know what’s going on as I reach for a towel and start drying off.
Eventually, Riel climbs the ladder and steps into the boat, water running down his tanned muscular everything. I hand him a towel and don’t hide my interest as I watch him dry off.
Playfully, he snaps me with the towel. “You have got to stop staring at me.”
I put my hands over my face. “I’m sorry. You’re just so gorgeous.”
“Viola,” he groans. “You’re killing me. Go get some dry clothes on. I’ll make us dinner, and then we’re going to have that talk.”
Chapter Fifty-Four
Riel climbs up from down below, carrying a tray. “Sorry to say it’s going to be crackers, cheese, and summer sausage. I didn’t realize Mr. Hamns was so low on supplies. He usually keeps the boat pretty well stocked.”
“No worries.” I scoot over so Riel can slip in beside me. As soon as he puts the tray down, I grab a cracker and some cheese and shove the whole thing in my mouth. I’m starving.
Apparently, he is, too, because eating is the only thing we do for the first few minutes.
Riel pops the tab on a Sprite and pours us both some. With a sip, he settles back and looks around, taking it all in. Behind us the sun is about to set, and overhead the moon is already lifting high. There are no clouds, and as soon as it gets completely dark, the stars are going to be beautiful.
With a breath, Riel turns to me, and I still myself. Here we go. The talk.
“For the past week,” he begins, “I’ve done nothing but think about everything. Forward, backward, sideways, and through again. I was incredibly upset that you did what you did. So upset I wasn’t even sure I could talk to you without yelling, and yelling isn’t something I do. That scared me. Really scared me.”
I hate that I made him feel that way.
“The thing is,” he continues, “in the four months we’ve known you, Mar and me, you’ve come to mean a lot to us. What you did, it felt like a dark, deep betrayal. Like everything you’d said and done was a lie. That you knew what you’d done, and yet you let it go on, even after we all became so close.”
Inside my chest, something horrible wrenches, and it nearly brings tears to my eyes. I betrayed them. I did.
“That was how I felt the first several days,” he goes on. “Then I started looking at it differently. I know what you came from. I know the odds you had to beat to get here. You’ve made mistakes. So have I. No one is perfect. The fact is, if the situation was reversed, I probably would’ve done the same thing. Because I will do anything for my and Mar’s future. I will. Just like I know you would do anything for your momma and your sisters.”
The wrenching in my chest eases a little bit. Maybe he does understand.
“I remember years ago when I was fifteen I asked my dad how he knew my mom was the one. He said he knew because he wanted to see her every day. He needed to hear her voice.”
My breath catches. What is he saying?
“Now I’m not quite ready to get too extremely deep here, but that conversation came back to me this week. Because, Viola, I missed you. I missed talking to you. I missed seeing you. Hell, on Tuesday I even walked by your bio chem class just to look inside and see you. I’ve never done that before. It made me feel like a total creeper.”
I stifle a laugh and my eyes blur with happy tears. “What’s the bottom line here?”
Riel reaches over and takes my hand, and the contact makes one, then two of those happy tears fall. “The bottom line is, I get it. I really do. I see everything from your angle. I understand. I don’t want to wipe the slate clean, because I think that’s a stupid thing to say. But what I do want is to pick up from here and go forward.”
With a sniff, I wipe my tears. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve lost everything.”
“I know. We’ll figure it out.” He squeezes my hand. “Okay?”
We’ll figure it out. God, that sounds good. “Thank you. By the way, you’re not a creeper.”
He laughs at that. “I think we could both use a drink. I saw whiskey down there. You in?”
“Yeah, I’m in.”
He grabs the tray and heads below and I do my best at drying my eyes and nose. With all the emphasis on talking I wasn’t sure what he was going to say. My God, do I deserve someone as great as Riel?
Yes. Yes, of course I do. What kind of dummy thinks that way?
Riel comes back with two tumblers of whiskey on ice. He hands me one and we clink and both take a sip. I cough a little. Wow, that’s strong. This time when he settles in beside me, he grasps my ankles and slides my sock-covered feet onto his lap in this familiar way that has me going all kinds of soft.
He takes another sip and stares off to the left where the water is just now catching the glow of the moon.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
Riel takes a breath, but he doesn’t look at me. “When I saw you in that hospital I wanted to tear your attacker limb from limb.”
“Riel.” I reach over and clasp his arm. “I’m okay. It’s okay. They caught him. Manny’s in jail.”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t know how to act around you. I was afraid to touch you. I was afraid it might scare you.” He chuckles, but there’s no humor in it. “Even today, coming out here. I didn’t want you to think it meant anything other than you and me talking. I don’t ever want you to feel like you don’t have control over whatever happens between us. I don’t ever want you to feel pressured or scared.” He looks at me. “Okay? Do you understand what I’m saying?”
This magnificent, beautiful, enormous flower blossoms in my heart and spreads its petals throughout my chest. Why was I thinking in terms of me deserving him or even him deserving me? That’s not the way this works. We—him and me—are meant for each other. There is no doubt in my mind of that.
I put my glass aside and then his, and I crawl into his lap. I put my hands on both sides of his face and stare straight into his gorgeous eyes. I note the concentration in his expression, as if every word we’re exchanging counts more than it ever has.
“I want you to know,” I tell him, “that I feel nothing but trust and protection with you. There’s no need to second-guess touching me.” To prove my point, I take his hand and lay it on my heart. “I never expected to meet you or Mar. You’re both so very special to me. Listen to me when I say, I will never jeopardize that. Not ever again. I’m so very sorry for what I did.”
“I know you are.”
I slide my hands down his face to his neck and lean in to gently kiss him on the lips. Then I snuggle down into his chest, and he wraps his arms around me as he lays his cheek on the top of my head. I don’t know where things go from here. I guess that can be a conversation for tomorrow.
We lapse into silence, and gradually our private little cove blankets to darkness. Stars twinkle above, and a chilly breeze stirs the air. Water laps the hull, and the boat gently rocks.
Watching You Page 17