Celia was dying… No wonder Anthony was having trouble accepting it as fact; Annie had trouble believing it herself. In fact, there was a lot about the conversation she had overheard that seemed totally unreal. Although it also answered a lot of unasked questions…
‘It’s the truth, Anthony,’ Rufus said quietly.
‘I have to go to her,’ Anthony muttered distractedly.
‘She’s expecting you,’ Rufus agreed.
There was the sound of the other man walking to the door, but he paused before opening it. ‘I’m not sure how you found out about Margaret and the baby,’ Anthony bit out angrily. ‘But it’s still none of your damned business!’
‘Someone will have to support her while she brings up your child,’ Rufus told him bluntly. ‘And I meant what I said earlier, Anthony; you can continue to visit your mother here until she dies—and after that I don’t ever want to see you again.’
‘Once I’m married to Davina, and to all the Adamses’ money, I won’t need to come here again!’ Anthony announced triumphantly, closing the door behind him as he left.
Annie sat very still in the chair, torn between a need to go and comfort Rufus and a fear of incurring his displeasure at knowing she had overheard this very private conversation between the two brothers.
Anthony was everything she had come to believe him to be—and worse. He didn’t give a damn about the fact that his relationship with Margaret was to produce a child. And how Rufus must be hurting to know that Margaret, too, had betrayed him with Anthony! No wonder he—
‘You can come out now,’ Rufus said softly.
Annie froze. Not that she had moved since the two men had first come into the room, but with Anthony’s departure Rufus had to be talking to her. He knew she was sitting in this wing-backed armchair! How long had he known…?
‘Since we first came into the room, Annie,’ Rufus told her dryly, easily able to guess at her panicked thoughts as she still made no attempt to show herself. ‘I would know that perfume of yours anywhere. Besides, I saw your hair over the top of the chair before you sank down into it!’ he teased, although he sounded incredibly weary too.
He had known she was here from the first! And she couldn’t even begin to work out why he hadn’t exposed her…
She straightened, standing up slowly, putting the book down carefully on the table before turning to face Rufus, her eyes widening in shock as she saw how haggard he looked, how utterly exhausted as he sat in one of the armchairs. Not at all like the arrogantly confident man she had come to expect. Although, in the circumstances, that wasn’t surprising!
‘It’s been a tough day,’ he acknowledged as he ran a hand through the already rumpled darkness of his hair. ‘What did you make of all that?’ he prompted.
She smoothed her hands self-consciously down her denim-clad thighs, taking her time answering him. ‘I—It’s a bit of a mess, isn’t it?’ she finally stated ruefully.
Rufus continued to look at her for several long seconds, then his mouth began to twitch, until finally he gave one of those shouts of laughter Annie had grown to love. She was glad she could make him laugh, even unintentionally; he certainly had little to laugh at at the moment.
‘“A bit of a mess”,’ he finally repeated with an agreeing nod, his mouth still smiling, although his eyes were once again grave.
Annie crossed the room to sit on the carpet at his feet. ‘But not an insurmountable one.’ She laid a comforting hand on his knee. ‘Margaret may be having a baby, but think how much worse off she would be if Anthony had actually offered to marry her—and she had said yes!’ She looked up at Rufus anxiously, knowing how much he must be hurting inside.
‘God, yes!’ He ran his hand over tired eyes. ‘The poor girl may have made a mistake, but she doesn’t deserve that fate!’
Annie tried to smile at his attempt at humour, but her smile didn’t quite work either. She loved this man—and she was trying to help comfort him over his love for another woman. God, it hurt!
‘There’s usually a silver lining to every situation,’ she told him shakily.
He dropped his head, frowning down at her. ‘And what’s yours?’ he prompted huskily.
She swallowed hard, unable to think of one at the moment. She loved someone who didn’t love her, and whether he stayed or left she was going to continue loving him for a very long time.
Rufus reached out to gently touch the hair at her temple. ‘I’m sorry you had to hear about Margaret in the way that you did, but in all honesty I don’t know if I would ever have been able to tell you any other way. I couldn’t have hurt you with that knowledge.’
She blinked back the sudden tears, swallowing hard again. ‘It isn’t your fault, Rufus,’ she said tremulously, his very gentleness almost her undoing. ‘Besides, I already knew about Margaret.’
‘You knew she was pregnant?’
‘Oh, no, not that.’ She firmly shook her head. ‘But I knew how you felt about her.’
‘How I—?’ He sat forward in his chair, grasping the tops of her arms as he did so. ‘Annie, what are you talking about?’
She pulled away, getting to her feet, unable to be that close to him without totally giving herself away. After all, she had some pride. Not a lot, she admitted, because she had still almost made love with Rufus knowing how he felt about the other woman. But she had hoped—had wanted—
‘It’s very sad about Celia,’ she told him evasively.
So much made sense about the other woman’s behaviour now—the extra rest she had seemed to be taking, the fact that she was even thinner now than when Annie had come here two months ago, and this driving need she had to see Anthony married to Davina. The latter probably wasn’t just because of Margaret and the baby, was also partly because she had known Rufus and Anthony would probably end up killing each other if they lived here together once she was gone!
‘It is sad about Celia,’ Rufus agreed slowly. ‘It wasn’t until the doctor told me this afternoon what was going on that I realised I actually have feelings for the woman, that the thought of her dying is actually painful for me.’ He looked sad at the knowledge.
‘I’m glad,’ Annie said with feeling.
‘So am I,’ he admitted throatily. ‘I’ve spent so long blaming her for taking my mother’s place that I actually didn’t realise I cared for her I—I told her that today,’ he added gruffly.
‘I’m glad about that too,’ Annie told him warmly. Celia might have her faults, but she did genuinely care about the Diamond family; of that Annie had no doubts.
‘Mmm,’ Rufus concurred. ‘We talked today as we probably never have before. She—she told me something I never knew.’ His voice was so husky now, it was barely audible. ‘My mother suffered severe post-natal depression after I was born. They don’t really know how to deal with that now, but thirty-nine years ago there was no help for her! I—It was during one of these bouts of depression that she went down to the cove and killed herself.’ He shook his head. ‘I never knew any of that,’ he groaned. ‘My father never told me. And I have to admit that—all these years, I’ve been drawing my own conclusions.’
Probably that his father had been involved with Celia before his wife died; Rufus had been so bitter about Celia’s marriage to his father, and the birth of Anthony, that it was a natural assumption for him to have made. Even if it was wrong.
And it was Rufus’s mother who had committed suicide in the cove…
‘I’m sure your father tried to protect you, didn’t want you, an innocent child, to feel in the least responsible for what happened to your mother,’ Annie reasoned. ‘Post-natal depression can happen to anyone, and it certainly isn’t the baby’s fault.’
Rufus looked at her with pained eyes. ‘You’re very wise for someone so young,’ he said achingly. ‘He and Celia discussed it, apparently, and that’s exactly what they decided. And, to give Celia her due, she’s kept that secret all these years. It would have been better, for everyone probably, if she h
adn’t.’ He looked pained at all the time he had spent hating a woman who had actually tried to protect him in the only way she could.
It was a tragedy, Annie agreed with that, but there was still time for Rufus and Celia to come to some sort of understanding. In fact, she was sure they were already well on the way to doing exactly that…
‘Now—’ Rufus straightened ‘—I want to know what you’ve been thinking about my—now, what was it you said?—my feelings for Margaret.’
She should have known he wouldn’t dismiss that subject as easily as he had seemed to. But couldn’t he see how much this was hurting her? Obviously not, because he just looked totally baffled.
She began to pace in front of the unlit fireplace. ‘You were upset when you came back here and found she had gone—’
‘I already knew she had gone,’ Rufus interjected. ‘There was a letter from her waiting for me at the newspaper offices when I got back last week.’
Annie shot him an irritated look before resuming her pacing. ‘You were desperate to know why she had left—’
‘I wasn’t desperate, just interested.’ Once again Rufus cut in.
‘You were very interested in why Margaret had left here so suddenly,’ Annie corrected forcefully. ‘You took Jessica and me to London with you this weekend because—’
‘Why, Annie?’ he said slowly. ‘Why do you think I took the two of you with me?’
‘Because you didn’t want to leave Jessica here—’
‘It was partly that,’ he acknowledged fiercely. ‘God, when I came back this time and found out that she had been involved in an accident it took me back five years, to when Joanne died. She was out on a boat with Anthony that day; did you know that?’ He looked at her intensely.
She nodded. ‘Jessica told me.’ But she had no intention of telling him what Anthony had implied. The woman was dead; raking up old grievances couldn’t help anyone now.
Rufus gave a regretful smile. ‘Anthony doesn’t behave too well as a lover scorned. Although if you’ve heard Anthony’s version of what happened I’m sure it doesn’t show him in that light?’ He sighed as Annie shook her head. ‘He and Joanne were involved before our marriage, and it was a relationship Anthony tried to revive once she was married to me. Our marriage was never the love of the century, but Joanne drew the line at having an affair with my brother. Anthony was furious,’ he recalled grimly. ‘I’ve never been a hundred per cent sure her accidental death was exactly that, and then when Jess had her fall…!’
Annie stared at him in horror. He couldn’t think—didn’t believe Anthony—
‘I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt all these years, but Joanne was an excellent swimmer, and Anthony hated water, has done since we were children, which was why his story about not being able to save Joanne when she fell overboard was always believed.’ He raised his shoulders fatalistically. ‘And for years I’ve accepted that as the truth. But I have to admit I was shaken when you told me Jessica had fallen from her horse; she’s as good a horsewoman as her mother was a swimmer.’
‘You thought Anthony had tried to harm her…’ Annie realised the horrifying truth of why he had been so shaken by Jessica’s accident.
‘Only for a short time,’ Rufus acknowledged. ‘James feels it was his fault. He’s started forgetting things lately, and he admitted to me that he really couldn’t remember even putting Jessica’s saddle on her horse, let alone whether or not it was fastened properly. I know Jessica is upset that he’s gone, but it really was his own decision.’
A wise one, in the circumstances. And Jessica would understand that when it was explained to her properly.
As Annie now understood that Anthony’s story about his relationship with Joanne was all a figment of Anthony’s vindictive mind. She didn’t doubt for a moment that Rufus’s side of things was the truth, remembered how Anthony had turned on her when he’d sensed she was becoming attracted to his brother…! She agreed with Rufus: the further Anthony stayed from this family in future the better.
‘Now,’ Rufus said firmly, ‘I want to know exactly why you think I’m in love with Margaret. You do think that, don’t you?’ He searched her face with his eyes.
Annie couldn’t meet his gaze. ‘She was the woman you talked about, the one who would speak to you on the telephone but wouldn’t meet you.’
‘She was,’ he concurred. ‘And I finally realised one very good reason why she wouldn’t actually meet me.’
‘Because of her relationship with Anthony?’ Annie realised.
‘Yes!’ he rasped. ‘Indirectly.’
‘Indirectly?’ Annie echoed in a puzzled voice. ‘I don’t understand.’ And she didn’t. Surely it was perfectly straightforward; in Rufus’s absence Margaret had begun an affair with his brother.
Rufus stood up too now. ‘I have a feeling you aren’t going to like it once you do understand,’ he admitted grudgingly.
She didn’t like this conversation at all, hated discussing his feelings for another woman. And Rufus seemed aware of that now. Did he also realise it was because she was in love with him? It would be too humiliating if he did.
‘You may as well tell me,’ she sighed.
He drew in a deep breath. ‘Last night, when we were making love—’
‘Do you have to bring that into this?’ she burst in tremulously, her cheeks red and burning. Was she to be left no pride?
‘I told you you wouldn’t like it,’ Rufus reminded her.
‘Is it necessary?’ she said agitatedly.
‘If you want to know about Margaret, and why she wouldn’t see me, then I’m afraid it is, yes.’
‘Oh, very well,’ Annie agreed uncomfortably. ‘If you must.’
Rufus reached out to put his hand beneath her chin, lifting her face up so that he could look into her eyes again. ‘Do you wish last night had never happened?’
‘Yes! No. No…!’ she admitted with a self-conscious groan. Last night might be all she ever had with the man she loved.
‘I’m glad about that,’ Rufus said with relief.
Annie looked up at him with wide brown eyes. ‘You are?’ she said uncertainly.
‘Oh, Annie, of course I am.’ He reached out and folded her into his arms. ‘Haven’t you realised yet that I love every infuriating, tantalising inch of you, that the main reason I took you and Jess to London with me was because I didn’t want to be away from you, not even for a few days?’ he added indulgently.
She was hearing things. She had to be. Rufus couldn’t really have just told her that he loved her. He just couldn’t have done. Could he…?
CHAPTER TWELVE
‘ANNIE?’ Rufus raised her chin once more with gentle fingers, but this time she wasn’t able to look at him. ‘I love you, Annie Fletcher,’ he whispered. ‘And it’s been a long time since I said that to anyone other than Jess.’
Annie stared at him. She couldn’t seem to do anything else. He had said it again! ‘But—I—Margaret…!’ she groaned desperately.
Rufus shook his head, smiling. ‘After what you’ve just said to me, I have a fair idea of the thoughts that have been running around in your beautiful head, although for the life of me I can’t imagine where you got them from. Margaret was Jess’s nanny to me, nothing more.’
‘But—’
‘Nothing else, Annie. Ever,’ he insisted firmly. ‘I’m not saying I’ve been celibate during the five years since Joanne died, but there haven’t been that many women either, and Margaret certainly wasn’t one of them. No, I’ve been waiting for a little red-haired witch who makes me laugh and want her all at the same time.’ He smiled at her in a way he never had before, the love he talked about shining in the dark depths of his eyes. ‘I love you, Annie. I want to marry you, have children with you. I’m sorry I don’t have a better family to offer you.’ He grimaced with feeling. ‘But they’re the only family I have. And eventually we’ll have children of our own, and then—’
‘You want to marry me?’ She
couldn’t believe he was saying these things to her.
‘I insist on it,’ he told her sternly. ‘After all, you’ve compromised my reputation by sharing my bed.’
‘Compromised your—!’ Annie broke off, chuckling at the ridiculousness of what he was saying.
‘It won’t be so bad, Annie.’ His arms tightened about her once again. ‘I intend staying around in future. It’s time I stopped all the travelling. And, in truth the only reason I’ve done it for so long is because I couldn’t stand being in this house. But if you’re going to be here I don’t want to go away. I’m going to write a book, Annie. It’s been floating around in my head for years now, but the thought of staying in one place long enough to write it has never appealed before. Now it does.’ He drew back slightly to look down at her. ‘But you aren’t saying anything now,’ he said uncertainly. ‘Tell me if I’m going too fast, or assuming too much. Don’t let me carry on like a drivelling idiot if this isn’t what you want too, if it’s Anthony you love after all.’
To be married to Rufus. To be with him and Jessica always. To have children of their own…!
‘Oh, Rufus…!’ She sank weakly against him. ‘I don’t love Anthony—I never did,’ she said with certainty. ‘I would very much like to marry you. I love you, too. And I can’t imagine anything more wonderful than being with you for ever.’ She clung to him so strongly now, it made her arms ache.
His breath left him in a deep sigh of relief. ‘Thank God for that!’ he groaned. ‘You had me worried for a moment. But I couldn’t imagine your having let last night happen at all if you didn’t love me.’
‘I wouldn’t have,’ she agreed.
Rufus bent his head to kiss her, and it was some time later, with Annie sitting on his knee in one of the armchairs, that they resumed their conversation about Margaret.
‘Do you remember why we didn’t completely make love last night?’ Rufus looked at her with teasing eyes as she blushed. ‘I’m glad we didn’t, Annie. Our first night together will be our wedding night. The way it should be. The way you deserve it to be.’
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