by LoRee Peery
“Relax, sis. Look what happened to me when I quit trying to work so hard to do the right thing.”
“Rainn.” Lanae joined Geneva on his name. They were laughing when Moselle and Kate came in.
Kate held the door open for Moselle, who toted in the used sewing machine Lanae had found at a garage sale. “Mom’s been showing me sewing tricks, Aunt Lanae. Thanks again for the machine. It’s an awesome wedding gift.”
Lanae nodded, tested the looks on their faces, and concluded Kate and Moselle had mended their fences.
She turned her attention to Moselle, who prattled away as she unloaded her fabric and trims. Geneva looked on with a proud mother’s grin.
Moselle spoke with enthusiasm. “You know I got to looking at the Frivolities aprons. Mom, Aunt Lanae, your choice of the nine-patch quilt design, the pockets and the embroidered logo is super for us. I decided to order some plain aprons to embellish for sale. Maybe they’ll be the shop’s Valentine’s offering. We can add the Frivolities logo on the edge, maybe, only make it smaller than the designs on our aprons.”
“I can do that in a single embroidery stitch,” Lanae added.
Moselle held up her newest apron experiment in mint green with a hot pink scalloped hem. “I figured, Aunt Lanae, you could embroider pink posies and white daisies on the waistband—”
“You can do that on the machine, I’ll bet,” Lanae said, “or, I could edge the apron with crochet trim.”
Geneva picked up an apron in bright yellow. “This would be perfect background for a purple appliquéd animal.”
“What can I do?” Mia asked
“I’m so glad you want to help, Mia. How about you join Kate and me for a crochet lesson?”
Mia’s eyes rounded. “Right now, Aunt Lanae?”
“No better time than the present. Kate, please join Mia and me. Let’s check out my crochet supplies. Hope you’re up to this. We Frivolities women can get carried away when we’re doing our craft thing.”
Lanae knelt to be eye level with Mia, and sang, “I love you a bushel and a peck.”
Mia giggled and finished the vocal rhyme with action. “And a hug around the neck,” she said, nearly choking Lanae.
Lanae straightened and took a deep breath. She hadn’t thought of Sage since preparing for the evening with the women. No time to ponder over him now. She had work to do.
“First thing, let’s check out what we need to get started. You can even call them crochet tools.” Lanae led them to her stash of supplies. “We’re going to begin with simple stitches that will make a scarf. First, there is yarn in different worsted-weights. I go with medium. What colors do you want?”
Kate chose a lavender-blue that reminded Lanae of Sage’s eyes. And Ted’s. Mia selected bright purple.
“Next is the crochet hook. We’ll use size G. These come in fun colors, too, and I like them because they’re not heavy. Later, we’ll need needles with big eyes. They’re all plastic, Mia. And we’ll need scissors.”
Before long, their crazy game of naming people and their occupations accompanied the lessons and the handwork.
“A seamstress called Ima Dressmaker?” Moselle accelerated her sewing machine pedal.
“I had a Dr. Gastro McCarver once in Omaha,” Kate said as she fumbled with her crochet hook.
“Well, crack me up,” Lanae put in. “How about Miss Dewey the librarian. Or a salesman named M.E. Sel.”
“Dr. Toothaker is a dentist. For real. My mommy said.” It was one of the few times anyone heard Mia mention her mother, who was a victim of homicide, a case that remained open to this day.
They all stared at the child.
Mia’s input, her presence in the moment, thrilled Lanae. She caught Geneva’s eye as she responded, “That’s so right, big girl. OK, now, are you and Kate ready to begin? First, hold the crochet hook in your right hand and make a slip knot on the crochet hook. Like this.”
They followed directions. Lanae was continually preoccupied, wondering what Sage was doing.
“I thought my thumbs were as big as a hand when I stared at this machine needle the first time,” Moselle said. “By the way, Aunt Lanae, before the wedding you were talking about the singles ads. Did you ever answer somebody like Dr. Looooooove, matchmaker?”
All needles fumbled due to their laughter.
Moselle got out of her chair to tune in country music and put water on to heat for cocoa and tea.
Lanae’s train of thought froze when she heard lyrics about loving someone who didn’t feel the same way. It took everything she had to gain focus enough to shake off the helpless feeling of not knowing the outcome of her relationship with Sage. She would not give up her fight for a place in Sage’s life.
She focused on her task. “Let’s make your chain stitch, Mia.”
“Practice, practice, practice,” Geneva inserted in a sing-song voice.
“I’m tired of practicing. Mia has had enough crocheting. I’m going to read my book now. I get stickers and my name on the wall in my room at school.”
“You go right ahead, dear. You may take your book, and go in the bedroom where it’s quiet,” Lanae told Mia.
“First, Mia wants a ponytail in my hair like my ponies,” she announced to Moselle.
“How can that work?” Lanae, closest to the girl, ran her fingers through Mia’s hair. “Your hair is about as short as a bobcat’s tail instead of a pony’s mane.”
With a puzzled look, Mia pulled away from Lanae and turned to Geneva.
Geneva hugged Mia and raised a brow at Lanae over the riotous mop. “Aunt Lanae told a joke, Mia. She wasn’t laughing at you, and she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. You have beautiful curls made just the way God wants them to be. Right now they won’t work in ponytails until your hair grows longer.” Mia allowed Geneva to escort her into the bedroom for quiet reading. Geneva returned to the room.
“Now we can talk about men,” Moselle said, giving both earrings a good bounce before preparing the tea.
“Ah, the honeymoon lingers,” Kate said. “But, oh, I was supposed to ask if you’ve any ideas about men shopping in Frivolities?”
“Would you believe honeymoon is one of the words I’ve used on the ‘Men’s Menu for Making Points?’ I’ve made a copy for each of us, even you, Kate.” Moselle grabbed cardstock prints from her tote.
“’Men’s Menu for Making Points.’ Catchy.” I need to run that by Sage.
As she handed the designed sheets to each woman, Moselle bubbled with enthusiasm. “It’s such a glorious thing for our lives to be controlled by the Spirit. God created quite a thing when he designed men and women for a marriage relationship. It’s great, but I may be more spiritually connected to Eric when he’s praying than when I’m held in his arms.”
“I already have that connection with Rainn,” Geneva said. “When I was in my forties I thought women were somehow supposed to wrinkle up and fade away.”
“I should surely hope not.” Lanae’s laughter rang out with her sister’s.
“Don’t believe it for a second. God wants us to be full of joy, to enjoy life as He offers it,” Geneva continued.
“All you have to do is waste your adult life to realize that the life you have is a gift from God. I hope I can make up for it somehow,” Kate finished with a sniff.
“But, Kate, remember the Lord meets us right where we are. Once we confess, we begin anew,” Moselle said.
“When I got sick, I believed the best had already happened,” Lanae said. “I took the motto to live like I was dying, so I tried to cherish each moment. Anyone can overcome their plight in life, so I’m not too gung-ho at becoming empathetic with Sage over the way he clings to Becca’s memory.” She paused to follow Geneva’s efficient movements in the kitchenette. Then she continued. “After I got well, I realized how lonely I was. I thought no one depended on me.”
“But we do, Aunt Lanae!” Moselle handed Lanae a glass of spicy cider and joined her on the butter leather couch.
Geneva disappeared to bring Mia back in and sat her down on a stool at the counter.
“As much as I love Frivolities, it doesn’t compare to the call of the great outdoors. Once I saw where Sage lives and how he spends his days, well, I felt so alive. I may be discontent with some things in my life, and sounding maudlin right now, but in this moment, and I have to say it out loud, I am content to be alive.”
She bounced up, trying not to spill her hot drink. “I propose a toast to family and new friendships that span five generations.” Lanae raised her mug of spiced tea and clinked four varied hot drinks in turn.
“What’s a generation, Moselle?” Mia expected the answer before she would take a drink of her cocoa.
The telephone rang, and as Lanae went to answer, she could hear Moselle speaking to her sweet soon-to-be stepsister..
Lezlie jumped right in without preamble when Lanae said hello. “Jax is way crazy about Dad moving to Florida come spring. Did the two of you talk about his plans at all?”
Lanae’s insides tumbled like a tower of children’s blocks, and her leaden stomach stayed on the floor.
Could she do anything to make Sage stay in Nebraska?
Was he meant to stay?
17
Sage counted three rings. He heard the joy for life and pleasure of her business when she answered. “Frivolities. This is Lanae. May I help you?”
“Hey, there. Thanks for stating your name. You and Geneva sound just alike.”
She laughed softly and he pictured her animation and wondered what crazy color she was wearing.
“Thanks again for coming back to the house and letting me unload my family’s grisly past.”
He pictured Lanae in Frivolities, surrounded by flashy merchandise, and blending right in with her own colorful flair. He was captivated by the way she used her unique tastes and gifts for her family and their business.
“I guess you know I’m taking Lezlie and Jax on vacation?”
“I understand it’s something you do.” Her voice lost its exuberance.
“Right. I’m not so excited about my objective for this particular place any more, though.” He wanted to say so many things. Like, because of you, I put Becca’s pictures all away. I love you now, Lanae. I believe we have Becca’s blessing.
After a pause, he went on. “This is a huge favor to ask, and I’m really sorry, but it’s kind of an emergency.”
“You know the answer is yes, if I can. What’s wrong, Sage?”
“The neighbor who usually feeds the horses when I’m gone fell on that ice we had. He can’t come over while tussling with a pair of crutches, attempting to do chores. I just checked with Lorinda, but she’s sick with a virus. Do you think—”
“I’d love to. Just walk me through it.”
“Oh, what a relief. You won’t have to come over until Christmas night. I usually feed and water twice a day, but I can’t expect you to do that with your business and everything.”
“Sage, it’s no problem at all. I’d love to come down and do it. I imagine we’ll have a slump between holidays. Beth can come in to the shop if we need extra help. Or even Kate, if you can imagine that one.”
“Sounds like you’ve got yourself a new friend. Well, we’re taking off from Omaha early evening. Let me tell you where everything is.”
All the while they talked his mind was on plans to cancel the realtor appointments in Florida. He was sick at heart over the earlier decision to look for property while there. That was before Lanae had come into his life. Sage wondered at the ache in his chest. He already missed Lanae. Before he was ready, it was time to end the call.
“I guess this is good-bye for now,” he said.
“Better than a note anytime.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll write to you and rub in how much fun I’m having on the white sandy beach, as my uncle used to say.” He wanted to hold her in his arms, reluctant to break their connection.
But he’d save that confession for later. Somehow, Sage managed to disconnect.
And her words came back. Just imagine, Sage, if you had to leave your land and move.
He’d answered that he’d be lost and angry.
****
Later in the day, he greeted Lezlie and Jaxson. They were both reserved, Jax with a chip on his shoulder.
He’d heard the grumbling before, but he totally lost it when Jaxson said, “I s’pose Mom’ll put me through another five days as structured as a day in preschool.”
“Give her a break, son. She works hard to even earn a vacation for the two of you.”
“Why couldn’t we have a normal Christmas like normal people?”
Because I can’t face normal holidays. He made no verbal answer.
Traffic on I-80 to Omaha was heavy. Most likely, with people working late to wrap things up at the office or doing the traveling themselves. He absent-mindedly watched the signs for Eppley Airfield, noted the Qwest Center and Abbott Drive, thought how much easier to go this way than the interstate. That route drove him nuts having to drive south past the airport in order to arrive at the terminal from the north. He shot a cursory look toward Carter Lake and eventually parked in long-term.
Conversation on the shuttle was excited. The Diamonds were the only riders leaving for the holiday without plans to see family.
Deep down Sage figured he was leaving family behind.
Could Lanae possibly miss him as much as he missed her already?
****
Soak it up, this adventure called life.
The sound of gentle rain woke Lanae in the dark, pre-dawn hours of Christmas Eve morning. She was transported and disoriented, believing she and Keith were together. Her senses were alive to her surroundings. She listened for his deep breathing, inhaled the fresh, cold air blowing through the open window. Snuggled into the comforting warmth of another body, it was good to feel so alive.
Lanae stretched one arm around her pillow, pulling it close, and extended the other.
The sheet was cold, the spot next to her empty.
But it was too late. Keith hadn’t stayed. He’d climbed on the skid steer loader and met the Lord.
“Don’t go.” The sound of her voice crashed her into wakefulness.
Then she remembered. Keith was gone. She was in the loft above Frivolities. A unique place not created for her, but for Moselle.
She took advantage of that place between wakefulness and sleep; dimly recalled the previous night and how the air had felt almost balmy. She had left a window cracked at the back of the loft. The air was now crisp, but she held on to the security of married love. She snuggled deeper into the memory foam mattress that squished and cradled her now.
And wondered if she’d ever share a bed with a loving husband again.
Could she remain content staying in town, living in the loft, while her heart yearned to be at the acreage with Sage?
But Sage was gone as well. His absence may only be a vacation for now, but if Lezlie was right, Sage could soon be gone forever.
He planned to move, so who knew how much time they had left together?
Dare I say, “Don’t go” to Sage?
Lanae opened her eyes and made out the shadowed shapes of furniture. She tossed back the warm mauve quilt and the teal sheet in one swoop then padded across the cold wood floor to shut the window.
Back under the covers, she tried to find warmth and comfort.
Her mind circled back to Sage. Was he the present in her life?
But Sage would have to learn to live in the present.
Her thoughts flitted around like a butterfly searching for the best flower to sip on. Lanae’s mind swooped from one dear person, or subject, to an
other until it landed on secrets.
Secrets.
She’d kept her one-night stand all to herself for years.
Sage had kept Uncle Ted’s identity to himself long enough.
Kate, aka Katherine, had kept her love for Ted secreted in her heart for even longer than Lanae could imagine.
I can do this. I want to look back someday knowing this tumultuous tumbling in the head was all worth it.
What was the weather like in Florida where Sage and his family were vacationing? She pictured herself holding hands with Sage, walking on an endless white sandy shore surrounded by nothing but blue sky and sea. The imagined tropical breeze engulfed her.
She shook it off and reached for her Bible.
****
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds.—James 1:2
Christmas Eve service at Faith Bible Church left Lanae with a hollow feeling rather than the promise of God’s gift.
On the church steps, Geneva said, “You seem far away. Are you feeling all right?”
“Oh, sure. I got all wrapped up in the words of the carols, but as soon as we stepped outside, I wondered if I’ll ever get a chance for a life with Sage. Is our time over?” She made sure Rainn was talking to someone else before she leaned in and said, “I regret not getting the chance to kiss him silly before he left. He couldn’t possibly forget me if I’d branded him.”
The next morning, Christmas Day, during a quiet spell in the kitchen, she said to Geneva, “My mind and heart have been far, far away today.”
“Let me guess, still on an imaginary warm sandy beach with a cowboy?”
Lanae left the family gathering mid-afternoon, giving herself time to do the chores on the acreage, planning to return before full dark set in.
She dallied when she got to the barn. The setup was efficient, down to the stall mucking, thanks to the vet who had once lived there. Complete with bins, cubbyhole-type cupboards and tins to keep out rodents, the layout of supplies made quick work of feeding the four horses.
When Lanae smelled molasses sweetening the oats, it took her right back to her former life. Did Sage mix it in to treat his horses while he was gone?