Gods and Frogs, Oh My!

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Gods and Frogs, Oh My! Page 10

by Crymsyn Hart


  “I’m glad to see you are well after you’re encounter with the Delphic Oracle.”

  “How did you know about that?” She watched his reflection for any emotional reaction, but his face remained impassive.

  “I felt every lash where it bit your flesh and scarred your soul.”

  She felt the gulf between them. It was so much more than his being on the other side of the pool or her body being asleep in another realm. Immobile, she felt her heart reach out to him, but he wasn’t answering. “Apollo was good enough to heal me and Nas. You know she’s actually trying to help with the whole saving the world thing.”

  “That’s a little shocking. Can you trust her?”

  Kalliope nodded. “I think so. I never thought I’d say that because she tried to turn me into a bush and went against Dagda with Cromm. But I think she’s changed. I’ve changed. Whoever thought I’d be saving the world? I’m just about to get the candle store off the ground. We’re opening in a month. And—” She couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.

  Lugh said nothing and made no move to comfort her. Her heart sank even lower, but deep down she knew she deserved it. Kalliope stood up and took a few steps toward the outcropping. Gazing into the pool, she was only inches from him. Reaching out, she tried to touch him, but her hands passed through thin air.

  “Lugh, I’m so sorry about everything. Nas told me she convinced Apollo to hit me with a Lust Arrow. I know you weren’t setting me up. I was…am a little insecure. The whole thing with Quince still troubles me more then I realized. Can’t you forgive me?”

  “Kalliope, what’s done is done. There’s nothing to say about it. You showed me you do not love me. I gave you a piece of my heart and you threw it away. I brought you here to tell you I wasn’t going to be seeing you anymore.”

  Shock resonated through her. She had not expected him to say that, but she understood why he would be mad. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was anything like Nas. All crazed because she could not have him. If it was over, then she would have her heart broken again, and not stalk him. She couldn’t believe how she had acted. Kalliope thought she was over her ex, but evidently she was not. In her heart, she did not know what to say. The truth was she had screwed up. Her soul loved him more than her flesh. His statement was her cue to go.

  “Thank you for checking in on me. I appreciate that. I’ll be going. Thank you for everything. I—” Kalliope backed away from the pool, but couldn’t finish her thought. Her mind drifted back to her body, where everything was heavy.

  “Tell Theresa I’m sorry about her husband.” She heard Lugh say. She nodded, staring at his reflection, memorizing every line of it because she would never see him again. Finally, she closed her eyes and awoke with a start. There were tears on her cheeks. It was over. There was nothing that she could do to make the god listen to her. From his own lips, he had said he didn’t want to see her anymore. Kalliope curled herself into a ball and let her tears fall. She tried to be quiet and not wake up Theresa, who was worse off than she was. Her friend had a baby on the way and had just found out her husband had betrayed her. She was the one who came first. Then there was saving the world. Maybe that could wait too. Would it be so bad for all the fast food joints to be destroyed? She was not a huge burger-fast-food chain person, but she did enjoy Chinese food. What did it matter? She punched the pillow and bit her lip. She had to at least try and save the world. Kalliope couldn’t sweep the responsibility under the rug. She had made a promise to Dagda she would do whatever he wanted her to do. From the info she had gotten from Del, there was someone behind letting the Furies out. Someone wanted to take over the world and get Kalliope out of the way to take over Dagda’s throne because they got that she was a powerful ally to the god.

  Kalliope cracked a half-smile at the thought. How much good she could be in helping a god, she had no idea. Dagda was powerful. He had turned Cromm into vapor with a wave of his hand. But there were limitations on their powers. “Are you okay?”

  Kalliope looked up to see her familiar staring intently at her. She shook her head. Humphrey hopped over looking completely better. She reached out a hand and stroked his back.

  “Oh ribbbiittt!”

  She cracked a smile. “You’re cute.”

  “It’s my job to make sure you’re okay and be at your service.” He bowed. He had grown on her. Her aversion to green hopping things was pretty much gone. Not to say that she still didn’t dislike Kermit the Frog.

  “Thanks, Humph.” Kalliope wiped her eyes and tried to think about her plan on how she was going to take out the Furies. Hopefully, Nas would come through with the magickal restraints from Hephaestus. She could only imagine what the goddess was doing with him, in order to get them. She didn’t want to know.

  “What’s the matter?” The frog hopped up and nestled on her lap next to her breasts. She was at the point that she didn’t care that he was nuzzling them. At least someone appreciated her.

  “It’s about Lugh. I screwed up. Now he doesn’t want anything to do with me. He said he didn’t love me anymore. Which I don’t blame him because I screamed in his face. And—” She got all choked up and started sobbing again. It felt like someone had sliced her heart out with an ice pick, taking one slow stab at a time with only small pieces coming loose. Her soul was bound to him.

  “Did you mean what you said?” Humphrey asked.

  “I love him more than I can admit. Why am I even talking to you? You’re a guy and you’re a frog! How can you understand anything about how I feel?”

  “I understand because you made me. I’m part of you, Kalliope. Have you shown him how much you love him? Have you told him?”

  “How can I show a god? Sex with him is out of this world, but I feel more than that for him. Sex doesn’t matter. I love being around him. When the Lust Arrow hit me, I wanted to hump anything I could get my hands on. I almost did with Apollo. I wanted to kill myself with guilt because then I’d have been cheating on Lugh. But I didn’t and now—” She hiccupped and wiped her tears, feeling the loss. “Well I guess it doesn’t matter. Now I have to save the world. Who knows? My love life is nil and probably will be dead until the day I die.”

  “Lugh still loves you. I’m sure of it. Maybe saving the world will show him you’re truly sorry. He’ll come around.”

  Kalliope lifted the frog so she could gaze into his deep eyes. She didn’t do anything for a moment and then brought the frog to her lips. She kissed him. He felt like putty in her hands. When she pulled away, the frog batted his eyelashes, dumbstruck by the kiss. “Thanks, Humphy. You’re a good frog for trying to cheer me up! It means—”

  An ear-splitting scream erupted from the bedroom. Kalliope jumped up, throwing the frog in mid air. It didn’t seem to faze the amphibian because once airborne he sprouted his wings and hovered. She raced into the other room. She opened the door. “Theresa, you okay? Is it time? You need me to take you to the hospital? Are the twins coming?”

  But when she got into the room, she saw Theresa petrified and backed up against the bed. Kalliope looked to see why she was so horrified. It was then she heard the hissing. It seemed her bedroom was filled with a thousand snakes. In the front of her closet were three women. They could have come from a cowgirl convention. They wore the same color cowboy boots, short jean skirt, and red and white plaid shirts tied under their breasts showing off flat tan stomachs each with bellybutton rings with snake charms dangling in them. It was their hair that told them apart. The one at the far left had black hissing snakes writhing in coils around her head. She had a sneer on her face and bluebell eyes. The middle one had red, white, and black striped snakes that were wound into braids and hissing at the two humans from the ends. The goddess on the right had long, white snakes hanging down her back to her butt. They wove around her waist, coiling around her arms and caressing them.

  The last had her arms on her hips and stared at her. Kalliope was surprised the Furies had appeared in her bedroom. Th
en again she shouldn’t be shocked considering they probably would have found out about her sooner or later. She was the one that was going to put them back in the Underworld.

  “Hello witch!” the three of them said in unison.

  “Kal, who the hell are they?” Theresa asked in a forced whisper.

  Kalliope’s eyes darted to her friend who backed up against the wall.

  “Don’t ya’ll know who we are?” asked the black snaked cowgirl.

  “Yeah, you’re in serious need of new hairstyles. Where did you get yours done? Hiss Salon? Down Under Grooming?”

  “Kal, please don’t piss them off…whoever they are.”

  “You’re friend is right, mortal. You shouldn’t make us mad. We know Zeus siced you on us to put us back in the Underworld. We’re not going back to UFC. We’re taking over your world! There’ll be no more fast food. Everyone will be under our control. Mortals will live on tofu. Everything will be made of soybeans and animals will be free!” shouted the goddess with the white snakes for hair.

  Theresa looked at Kalliope. Then she burst out laughing. “Are you guys for real? Like humanity is going to give up eating McKing’s and Burrito Bell. Speaking of burritos I could really go for a taco right about now.”

  “You don’t know who we are!” said the one with white hair.

  “I would say you’re Medusa’s backwoods cousins. I heard she’s prettier than the three of you!” Kalliope taunted.

  One of them was about to fling a snake at her, but the other goddess stopped her and smiled. The one with the braided snakes seemed to be the leader. “We are the Furies. We take out our wrath on all those wronged by the deeds of man. All will obey and fear us!”

  A large thunderbolt shook the room, blinding Kalliope. She put her hands up to protect herself. When she blinked again, the Furies were holding Theresa hostage.

  “Let her go!” She tried to step forward, but was stuck in the floor. The carpet had melted around her feet.

  The black haired Fury smiled. She ran her hand over Theresa’s belly. Her friend tried to get away. “Why would we want to do that?”

  “Come on, Haley Jo. We can stop off and get some veggie tacos for the new mommy. I know just the place,” said Haley Bobby. One of the red-banded snakes tickled her ear.

  “But it’s so much fun to watch the human squirm! This one is having twins. We can use them.” Haley Jo whined. Her nest of black snakes uncoiled themselves.

  “You can’t have my babies!” Theresa screamed. “Kalliope, help me! Please!” Her friend had tears running down her face. The Furies’ hair was wrapping around her neck lazily and the snakes tongues twitched on her chin. She watched helplessly as her friend shook in the hands of the goddess. Theresa was petrified of snakes.

  Kalliope envisioned her feet were free. She stepped up. The carpet rippled around her. Her veins were boiling. Next to her she saw a large creature that resembled a weasel on steroids lunging at the goddesses. The snakes hissed at it in fear and backed away. It was a dark green mongoose, the only animal that hunted snakes. It was Humphrey shape shifting into a three-foot mammal that freaked out the snakes.

  The goddess shoved Theresa backward toward Kalliope who caught her best friend. “Haleys it’s time to go! Ya’ll haven’t heard the last of us! We’ll be back to get you and you’re little frog too!” The Furies snapped their fingers in a Z formation and disappeared in a puff of pink smoke.

  Her coven sister wrapped her arms around Kalliope’s neck in a stifling grasp. She still shook from the encounter. Kalliope sat her down on the bed and watched the frog morph back into his normal self. He hopped past the two women and sat on the bed.

  “Thank you!”

  She hugged her friend closer. “It’s okay. They’re gone. Stay here. If you want, I’ll talk to Morgaine and you can go to Avalon. You might like it there. You’ll be around other priestesses. I don’t want you or the babies hurt. What do you say?”

  “I’m really having twins. You were right as usual. What am I going to tell Stan?” Theresa patted and rubbed her belly. Kalliope saw the hurt about her husband flash across Theresa’s face.

  “Yes, it’s twins. You finally believe me. That would have been great months ago when I told you I was a witch.”

  “Well, I couldn’t help that I didn’t believe you. You were gone for two weeks without telling anyone and then appeared and told me you’re a witch. How do you think I was supposed to take it?”

  “You were supposed to believe me and not ask to turn you into the Easter Bunny. It’s a good thing you never did.” Kalliope smiled. “Now what do you want to do?”

  “You’re right. I don’t think I’d look too great with a white, fluffy tail. Hmm? Kal-umm not that I don’t trust you, but Avalon I think. Is that okay?”

  “Of course, honey. We’ll go tonight. That okay?”

  Her friend nodded.

  Kalliope smiled and snapped her fingers. In her mind, instantly she envisioned all her friend’s things packed. They were there neatly in bags and a few surprises too that she saw in the bag for the babies. It would be better for her friend to be in a place where the Furies couldn’t get to her. They would not use her for leverage. In Avalon, Morgaine could protect Theresa because she had a better handle on her power. For a moment, she wondered how it would feel to pull the sword from the stone. Excalibur was still stuck in the hearth back in Avalon. Morgaine hadn’t come to complain so everything with the sword must have been okay. If not, she was going to find out.

  Chapter Eleven

  Theresa looked around Morgaine’s apartment with interest. The band posters were shredded and all the furniture destroyed. Kalliope tried walking through every doorway in the house, but they were barred. She flopped down in the only upturned chair. Even Morgaine’s annoying cat was nowhere to be seen. Humphrey flapped next to a doorway, poking his foot against the energy barrier. Each time he did, an arc of blue energy flashed between him and the doorway. Kalliope shook her head at the fascinated frog.

  “What happened here?” Theresa asked. She had recovered from her encounter with the Haleys. Kalliope smirked, amazed how well her friend was taking it.

  Just a few short months ago, her friend would have freaked at the whole situation. Kalliope remembered when all of her candles had exploded, decorating her entire apartment. Theresa had fled with the coven because she had never seen anything like it. But her friend had gotten used to the idea of her being a witch, her roommate being an ex-goddess, and her dating a god—well not anymore, but Kalliope hadn’t told her that yet. She smiled about the candle incident.

  It had taken Kalliope days to clean everything. Even now there were still rainbow flecks on her ceiling. No matter how much magick she tried to use on her apartment, it was not coming off. There was no way she was ever getting her security deposit back. What did that matter now? If she couldn’t save the world, then who would care about her apartment? There was no way that she was going to give-up so easily and let the Furies get a hold of Theresa or any other of her friends or the people of the world. She would free all the presidents and owners of the fast food restaurants. Humanity was not going to be made to live on soybeans and tofu curd.

  “So what happens now?” Theresa asked.

  Kalliope studied the trashed apartment and knew something had happened to make her friend close off the doorways to Avalon. The Furies must have come here and done this to try and stop Morgaine. But why? Did they need her or something else? Her gaze swept the room and spied the untouched bowl of oranges on the breakfast bar. That gave her an idea. She took an orange.

  “Come on. Follow me. I know another way.”

  Theresa grabbed her bags and took Kalliope’s outstretched hand, not used to traveling through doorways and appearing in other places. She didn’t wait for Humphrey to move through the door first. Theresa squeezed her hand pretty hard. They walked through the bathroom door. Kalliope kept her mind clear, picturing exactly where she wanted to go. When she opened her eyes, sh
e was outside.

  Kalliope took in at her surroundings. The fence was still there and so were the standing stones. It was not nightfall. There were a few tourists gathered around the fence taking pictures. Theresa poked her. Others were pointing and snapping pictures.

  “Is this really Stonehenge? You sure you wanted to bring us here?”

  Kalliope noticed the tourists were past being stupefied and wondered how they got in there. The fence was erected to keep people away so they would not deteriorate the stones. She had heard they had finally started allowing pagans back into the sacred circle during high holidays so they could worship the old gods. Of course, Kalliope had been one of those regular witches a few short months ago. None except her friends, and the gods, knew she was magickally inclined. Flidias had said it would be her duty to bring magick back into her world. Besides having some strange fantastical creature knocking on her door or popping into her room at night, she had not seen anyone else with powers. Maybe this whole fiasco was going to change that. Or maybe All Hail would decree magick was still not ready for human hands again and wipe everyone’s memories. She still had not heard about the kidnapped fast food presidents on the news so someone was keeping it concealed. She wondered how long that would be.

  All Hail could not keep magick out of the hands of mortals forever. She didn’t care that it was agreed upon during the Burning Times that magick was not safe in the hands of humanity anymore. It was their birthright to share in the wonders of the world.

  “Kalliope, I don’t think we should be in here.” Theresa pointed to the park rangers heading toward the gate. They were talking into their radios obviously trying to get backup.

  Great. All I need is to spend a night in jail with a flying frog and a pregnant woman. What would I tell the cops on how we just appeared? ‘No really officer. I had no idea the frog had wings. What a strange coincidence.’

 

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