Chapter 23
Rachel turned on the Goliaths game. She still hadn’t heard from Bryce, and was surprised to see he wasn’t in the lineup. Ryan Fletcher would be taking his place at shortstop. The broadcasters only said a family emergency had come up and he was not at the ballpark.
So Kip and Kurt knew more about her husband’s absence than she did? That made her feel about as significant as the sunflower seed shells spit on the floor of the dugout.
She knew the fastest way to find information was to check her Twitter feed; she followed several other journalists who worked with the team and would have access to inside information. But there would be no way to filter all the speculation and false reports about why he wasn’t with the team.
The morning sickness she’d thought was behind her had returned with a vengeance. Rachel curled up on the couch with a bag of pita chips and water infused with lemon and ginger at her side. She watched the game through blurry eyes, hoping to hear more details about Bryce, but the game went on without him.
Fletcher played solid defense, and had moderate success at the plate. He reached base twice, on a single and an error, and scored one run in the win. Bryce’s absence didn’t hurt the team on the road, but the home team was miserable.
Most of the clothes that still fit her were packed in two suitcases. She had them in the bedroom, ready to throw in her toothbrush as soon as he returned home. She wasn’t going to take the coward’s way out and leave before he returned. No. She would have to look him in the eye to know that it was truly over.
And he would know just how much he’d hurt her.
* * * *
His manager was more understanding than Bryce could have imagined. He’d had to tell the whole story, including the need to get Jillian checked into rehab and get Hailey checked out of school two full weeks before the end of the school year.
He hoped he could bring Hailey on the team’s charter Monday afternoon, but had a feeling they would be flying commercial, probably getting in late at night. Too late to have Rachel pick them up from the airport.
Rachel. He’d tried calling her, but was relieved when she didn’t pick up. He knew just hearing her voice would wreck him, and he had to stay strong. So he’d left a text telling her they needed to talk when he got home. Maybe he should have left a message, explaining all that had happened, but he didn’t even know where to start. He needed to see her, to hold her, while he confessed his biggest failure.
How could he have not known how bad Jillian had gotten? How could he have thought that all his money could have kept her demons at bay? He should have known that his moving to the other side of the country would devastate her. She hadn’t loved him, but she’d counted on him. Needed him to check up on her and Hailey from time to time.
Cheating on Jillian had been one thing, but nothing compared to the guilt he now felt over leaving them to further his career on the other side of the country. He’d found the ultimate success. He’d even found a woman he’d wanted to share it with. But now the weight of his ring—of both his rings—felt more like a burden than anything. His happiness had come at too great of a price.
Hailey had fallen asleep on the way home from the hospital. He’d put her to bed and poured himself a glass of wine from Jillian’s extensive collection. Guilt gave the wine a bitter aftertaste, and he ended up pouring the rest of the bottle down the drain.
“Daddy?” Hailey stood at the far end of the kitchen. Her dark hair and dark blue eyes stood in stark relief to the paleness of her skin. “I can’t sleep.”
“Come here, Princess.” He held his arms wide open and she rushed toward him. Her little body felt so fragile, and he was almost afraid he’d hurt her if he squeezed too tight. But he hugged her anyway. With the fierceness of the love he felt for this little girl.
“It’s my fault Mommy’s in the hospital.” Hailey’s voice was wise beyond her years. “I shouldn’t have left her by herself. She gets lonely. And it’s more fun at McKenzie’s house ’cause she has sisters and a dog and a cat and she has to do chores before we can watch a movie and sometimes I help, too.”
“That’s great sweetheart, I’m glad you help out when you’re at your friend’s house.”
“It’s like being a part of the family.” She stepped out of his embrace. “A big, happy family.”
Her emphasis on the word happy nearly broke his heart.
“Mommy’s sad a lot.” Hailey looked down at the floor, as if it was somehow her fault. “And now she’s in the hospital.”
“Oh sweetie. It’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.” At least for now, he was sticking to his original story. That Jillian’s overdose was an accident. “She had a reaction to some medicine she was taking. Like an allergy.”
“She took the medicine because she was sad.” Hailey held onto him as if she was afraid he’d go away, too. “Why was she sad?”
“I don’t know.” He had an idea, and it was because of him, but he didn’t want to share that with Hailey. Didn’t want her to have to take sides between her mother and him. “It’s even possible she doesn’t know why she was sad.”
“I thought it was because I was excited about being a big sister.” She started to tremble in his arms. “Maybe if I wasn’t happy…”
“Oh sweetheart.” He stroked her dark hair, so much like her mother’s, but softer. Shinier. “Don’t ever think that your happiness will make someone else feel bad. It doesn’t work that way.”
“When you won the World Series, you were happy, right?”
“Yes. I was. We all were.”
“But what about the other team?” She took a step back, looking up at him with such innocence it killed him. “Didn’t they feel sad?”
“Yes. I suppose they did.” He had to keep a grin from escaping his lips. She was a good kid. Kind. Empathetic. Innocent. “But in baseball, you’re prepared to lose. You hope you win, but you know there’s a really good chance you’ll lose. That’s one of the things that makes the winning so great, is knowing how hard it is.”
He didn’t know if she could understand, or even how it would help her grasp what her mother was going through. He had a feeling Jillian was like the fans who, when their teams didn’t make the playoffs, they cheered against their rivals rather than picking another team to root for. And sometimes seeing their rivals win was worse than their team losing.
For years, as long as he wasn’t happily involved with anyone else, Jillian had been content with their divorce. If they couldn’t be happy together, at least he wasn’t happy with anyone else.
Until Rachel.
And his happiness had destroyed Jillian’s.
“Is Mommy going to go away for a while?”
“She’s going to get the help she needs.”
“Can I go with her?”
“You’re going to come to San Francisco with me.” He hoped he was doing the right thing. Jillian’s friend had offered to keep her until the end of the school year, but he knew in his heart she needed family more than she needed to attend the field trips, parties, and end of the year celebrations that would take up the last ten days of third grade. “It’s going to be great. You’ll see.”
He was tempted to offer to buy her a pony, but there weren’t any stables in his apartment building. If only he could buy a time machine, go back in time and be there for her all along. Maybe if he’d insisted on spending more time with her these past nine years, his request to have her over the summer wouldn’t have sent Jillian over the edge.
There were a lot of things he would have done differently.
“What about earthquakes?” She sounded genuinely worried.
He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You have nothing to worry about. The big ones are pretty rare. And I live in a new building that is built to withstand any major shaking.”
Hailey nodded, but he wasn’t sure if she was convinced.
“Come on, Princess, let’s get you back to bed.”
&n
bsp; “Will you stay with me?” Her voice sounded so small and fragile.
“Of course.” If he had to sleep on the floor of her room, he’d do it. Anything to make her feel safe.
He tucked her into bed and found a chapter book to read to her. She grabbed his hand, clinging to him as if her world depended on it.
Finally, after two and a half chapters, he felt her grip loosen. Her eyes closed, and soft snores escaped her innocent lips. She was asleep. But Bryce couldn’t tear himself away from her side.
* * * *
After an uncomfortable night’s sleep on the floor of Hailey’s room, Bryce woke around dawn to prepare for the task ahead of him. He had to pack a few essentials for Jillian’s month-long stay at a very exclusive and expensive substance abuse clinic. With the amount of money he would be paying, they had better keep their promise of absolute confidentiality.
Fortunately, the woman had a large selection of designer sweat suits. Or maybe they were yoga pants. Whatever. They would be comfortable while she was doing whatever she would be doing. He couldn’t imagine. He just hoped it would help. He truly wanted her to be able to get past the bitterness that had festered between them for so long.
He wanted her to be able to move on with her life, so he could get on with his.
It was way too early to call Rachel. But damn. He missed her. If only she had been with him, this would have been so much easier to deal with.
Or would it? Would Jillian have gone even farther over the edge if he’d brought his new wife into her messed up world? Or worse. Would she have tried to take Rachel down with her?
No. He couldn’t think like that. Couldn’t let his mind wander into the kind of scenario that would end up on one of those true crime shows.
Bryce would just have to figure out a way to protect all of the women in his life.
Rachel could take care of herself. She was one of the strongest women he knew. And that was one of the things he loved about her.
Jillian would be in the capable hands of the well-paid doctors and therapists at the rehab facility he’d arranged for her.
It was Hailey he had to turn his attention to now. She was the one who needed him most. A little girl caught in the middle of a huge mess. If Jillian had been telling the truth—in other words, if she’d lied to him—and she was in fact the daughter of some nameless stranger, then… No. He couldn’t even let his brain go there. Hailey was his. And he would fight for her. No matter what.
After packing Jillian’s suitcases, he made his way downstairs. Hailey would need breakfast. And a distraction to keep her mind off the situation with her mother. Her impending cross-country move. And the fact that she would be missing the last two weeks of school.
There was only one thing that could make the rest of the world go away.
Baseball.
He would take her to the game with him. Let her become a part of his world. He’d buy her some peanuts and Cracker Jack. Maybe an ice cream sundae in one of those little helmets. Sully would look after her in the clubhouse since she was too young to be in the dugout as a bat girl. At least she’d be at the ballpark. With people he trusted. He just wished Rachel had come on the trip with him. Not that he would have wanted her to have to deal with the shit Jillian had pulled.
Still. He missed her. And he hadn’t been able to connect with her. When he couldn’t reach his wife by phone, Bryce sent another text.
Taking Hailey to the game tonight. Hope she has a good time.
There was so much more he wanted to say, but some things could only be said in person.
* * * *
Well, wasn’t that sweet?
Bryce had texted saying he was taking his daughter to the game tonight. As if he didn’t have a care in the world. He hadn’t missed a game for some mysterious family emergency. He hadn’t been at a bar two nights ago with some bimbo.
Did he really think so little of her? Apparently marriage hadn’t really changed their relationship. It was no different from that whole first year, where he’d chased her with all the intensity of a team just a few games behind their division rival in the last few weeks of the season. But once he’d made the score, he was like the teams who thought they could just walk into the playoffs, toss their jock on the field and end up with a ring.
There was a reason most teams didn’t repeat as World Series Champions. Complacency played a big part in it. That and the attitude that whatever they touched would always be golden. Was Bryce thinking he could do no wrong? That she’d just forgive him because he was an MVP? Did he think he could just toss money her way and she’d forgive anything? Some women could look the other way if it meant financial security. She wasn’t one of them.
But sadly, she realized that money could buy her a new place to live. She didn’t have to stay with Bryce. And she didn’t have to go crawling back to her mother in Fresno. Not that she would do that even if she didn’t have the financial resources to stay in the Bay Area. She still had a job to do. And now, keeping it was more important than ever.
Even though it was a Sunday afternoon, she was able to make an appointment with a real estate agent. The young woman seemed more than enthusiastic to show her two-bedroom apartments in and around the city. And that was before Rachel told her who she was, and who her husband was.
Rachel was early, so she stood in the lobby of the real estate office, looking at flyers for everything from studio apartments to a ten-million-dollar Victorian mansion. Her stomach rolled just thinking about the taxes on such a property.
Why had she given up her apartment? It was a nice place. And eventually, maybe she could have put in for one of the larger units.
But no. She’d been charmed by Bryce. He’d somehow managed to sweep her off her feet and into his beautiful downtown apartment. He still had his workout equipment in the second bedroom. He wasn’t any more ready to welcome a child into this world than she was. He was perfectly happy playing weekend dad and taking his kid to the ballpark. No doubt the poor thing would end up in the company of Sully, the clubhouse manager. Mike Sullivan was a great guy, had been with the team since they came over from New York, but he wasn’t exactly any little girl’s favorite companion.
“Hi, I’m Catherine Beck,” a young, blonde, and very polished woman extended a confident hand. “Oh, you’re Rachel Parker. I’m a huge fan.”
“Thank you.” It still surprised her when people recognized her outside of the ballpark.
“Really.” Catherine sounded almost giddy. “I was only a casual fan, watching mostly because my dad or brothers had the game on. But then you came along and made the game more interesting. You bring out the human side of the game.”
“I try.”
“And it’s so much more fun rooting for the guys because you make us feel like we know them.” The other woman was gushing now. “I mean, how can you not love Marco Santiago? A guy who still drives a ’65 Mustang because he wanted to buy his mother a house instead of a fancy car for himself.”
She started to fan herself.
“And Bryce Baxter.” Catherine sighed. Rachel had heard that sigh before. She’d even uttered it herself. “Okay, you have to tell me. Is his hair… Oh, how rude of me. He’s your husband. Is it weird knowing that thousands of women are madly in love with your husband?”
“A little, I guess.” Rachel tried to keep a brave face. “Most of the time I try not to think about it.”
“Oh, I almost died when he proposed.” Catherine put her hand over her heart, as if it was the most romantic thing in the world. “And, I’ll admit. I cried a little. But I’m happy for you. Truly. And now you’re having a baby.”
The woman’s eyes glistened. She reached out and took Rachel’s hands and squeezed. “Oh, we have to find the perfect house for your family.”
“That would be great.” Rachel swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. She didn’t have the heart to tell this sweet lady that she really wanted to look at apartments for just her and the baby.
&nb
sp; “Come on back to my office, and we’ll pull up the listings.” She turned on her sensible, yet stylish heels. “I’m sure schools will be a consideration. Are you looking to buy within the city? Or are neighboring communities acceptable? But then you’d have to factor in commute time, and with a baby… You are planning on keeping your job after the baby comes?”
The questions came flying faster than Rachel had a chance to respond.
Her hand moved protectively over her abdomen. The baby. She had to keep her focus on the baby. It was the only thing that had kept her from falling apart these last twenty-four hours. Or was it thirty-six? She couldn’t keep track of time since she’d seen that horrible Instagram picture of Bryce and the bimbo. Anger boiled up inside her, but she pushed it aside for the sake of her child.
She would move forward. Make a home for herself and her child. She had a feeling it was a boy, so the idea of finding a house with a yard had a certain appeal. That ruled out a lot of places in the city, but she could commute. She’d done it before.
Chapter 24
Hailey had fallen asleep in the clubhouse. She’d watched the first couple of innings but since she hadn’t grown up watching the game, she’d quickly become bored. But Sully had done a good job with her. He had several grandchildren and had practically raised Hunter Collins from the time she was seven.
Bryce got her to school just minutes before the bell, and after she went off to class for the last time, he went to the office to disenroll her. Or was it unenroll?
“I’ll be with you in just a minute.” The school secretary was busy giving out tardy slips and fielding phone calls. “If you’re here to volunteer you can sign in and as soon as I check your ID, we can issue a visitor’s pass.”
He gave her a polite smile and stood off to the side with his hands in his pockets. He’d only been to the auditorium of Hailey’s school, on the rare occasions when her school performances hadn’t conflicted with his baseball games. God, he’d missed so much.
Earning a Ring (More Than a Game Series Book 4) Page 21