Katrina was so embarrassed that her blush in her cheeks ran through her entire body and scorched the bottoms of her feet, but she did her best to conceal it.
“You’re the guest. You choose,” she said as she exhaled some of her shame.
“I was hoping you said that. I think I want to watch Love Field. I’ve never seen this one, and I have to confess, I have had a crush on Michelle Pfeiffer since Scarface.”
Katrina appreciated David trying to make his selection seem matter-of-fact to help minimize Katrina’s humiliation. She did not realize that in truth he really did want to see the movie. Michelle was his girl.
Katrina took the movie and loaded it into the Blu-ray player. She and David then sat down together on the sofa.
“I’m sorry. I forgot to ask. Do you want me to make some popcorn, or do you want something to drink?” Katrina asked.
“Umm, sure. I would love some popcorn. What do you have to drink?”
Katrina got up and placed a bag of popcorn in the microwave. She rattled off the list of beverages she had available. David made his selection, and when the corn was done popping, the two truly got comfortable and settled in to watch the movie.
Love Field was a sort of forbidden love type of story, but David would not necessarily classify it as a chick flick. He found himself actually enjoying it a great deal, now very pleased with his selection.
During the course of the movie, David subconsciously found himself scooting in closer and closer to Katrina. By the end of the movie, he was comfortably wrapped with her in a semi-embrace on the sofa. David had pulled Katrina’s back against his chest, with his arm draped across the back of the sofa and his hand on her shoulder.
Katrina may have appeared comfortable on the outside. On the inside, her emotions were all over the map. There was an intimacy between them, in her mind, that ran far beyond the physical. Sure, they were close, touching even, but for Katrina the cocoon of pleasure engulfing them was what played on her heartstrings. The normalcy of their shared contentment was what made her feel everything but normal.
She stole a glance at David as the credits began to roll for the movie. The smile of satisfaction told her he was pleased with more than just the film they watched together.
Katrina knew she had a tendency to read more into situations than what was actually present. Considering how she felt about David, and that she wanted so desperately for him to feel something akin for her, she knew allowing her fantasies to run amok at a time like this would be easy.
The credits had completed and the television had returned the DVD back to its original cover photo. The pair continued to remain in position, sitting in silence, enjoying the peace of their connection.
David was the first to move. He pulled away from Katrina, and she felt his absence immediately, but only momentarily. David slightly switched his position and placed himself directly next to Katrina. He shifted his head, then, using his forefinger, he shifted hers as well so that the two of them were facing each other.
“I have wanted to do this since the moment I walked in your door and hugged you.”
Katrina opened her mouth slightly to ask “what,” putting her lips in the perfect position for David to cover them with a warm, wet kiss. The kiss was short and sweet, yet it left a long-lasting impact on both parties. When they separated, Katrina laid her head on David’s shoulder and sighed audibly. The sweet rush of wind carried with it unspoken desire, unanswered questions, and unfamiliar territory for both of them.
“Katrina, we have to talk,” David said wistfully.
The tone of his voice made talking the last thing Katrina wanted to do. His tone said the conversation would be none too pleasant, but she wordlessly lifted her head and shifted her body, putting a little space between them. David grabbed her hand and began speaking.
“I talked to Toriyana a few nights ago. I told her about us going out, and it turned into a really big ordeal, a fight even. She felt like I betrayed her and cheated on her. She initially broke up with me, but when we talked the other day, she gave me an ultimatum. She wants me to either marry her and move her here, or I go back to Detroit, or I leave her alone for good.”
Katrina’s heart sank to her feet. The mere mention of him and Toriyana getting married or even contemplating marriage made her sick to the pit of her stomach. She had fallen in love with David and wanted him completely to herself. She tolerated his relationship with his girlfriend back in Detroit because she was in Detroit, but the truth of it was that it drove her crazy to think about the two of them as a couple.
This is what I get for going out with someone else’s boyfriend, she thought silently as her heart melted in her chest and dripped burning remnants into her belly. Now she had kissed him, shared an intimacy with him that for her escalated her love for him, only to have him tell her he was going to marry Toriyana.
David tightened his grip on the hand she had forgotten he still held and continued speaking. “Katrina, I would be lying to you if I pretended I didn’t know how you feel about me. It would be so cliché for me to say I never meant to hurt you, because I know hearing this does bother you. It is written all over your beautiful face. But I would also be lying if I said I have not seriously been considering Toriyana’s proposition.”
Well, since he had admitted he would not pretend with her, Katrina would then not pretend with him. She removed her hand from his and used it to cover the pain on the face he thought to be beautiful. She thought that she would cry, but the tears did not come. She held on to the anguish in her heart and sat silently as he kept talking.
“I really do like you, Katrina. I have enjoyed every second of every moment we have spent together. I honestly look forward to spending even more time with you . . .”
Katrina looked up at him through the fingers that covered her face. She hoped her hand masked the contempt she instantly felt. How dare he say he wanted to continue to spend time with her after telling her he was going to marry his girlfriend? Did he think he was just going to use her to fill the gap in time between now and the day he marched down the aisle with Toriyana?
David was oblivious to the boo-boo face Katrina was giving him, because he kept on talking. “Katrina, I’m so confused. I care deeply for Toriyana. We have been together for over two years, and I must admit I love her . . .”
The boo-boo face quickly turned back into the hand-covered sad face.
“But I’m not sure I am ready to get married to her. I’m not as confident as I feel I need to be that she is the woman I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I mean, as I thought about this just last night, I realized that if we were in that place, I would have never left Detroit without her.”
It took a moment for David’s words to seep past Katrina’s skin and penetrate her pain-filled heart, but eventually they did get through. The hand slowly came down from her face, the boo-boo face transformed into one of expectation. The pain in her heart was quickly displaced and replaced with a great hope. Katrina did not want to assume anything, so she kept the smile that was threatening to split her face on the inside of her soul.
“David, look. I really care about you. I don’t want to play any word games with you. I’m not trying to hold on to any pride here or save face, hoping you say what I want to hear, or hoping against hope that you don’t say something I don’t want to hear. I appreciate your honesty and you telling me about your conversation with Toriyana. But plain and simple, I need to know what this means for you and me. What exactly are you saying to me here? And please, don’t worry about sparing my feelings. Give it to me honestly. I would rather know the absolute truth than to spend any more time unsure, guessing, assuming, hoping, speculating, or even fantasizing.”
David looked Katrina directly in her eyes, suddenly proud of the decision he had made to ask her out that very first time. He saw a woman of integrity, a woman he believed he could count on to tell him the truth and be willing to hear the truth and openly deal with it. This was a woman who wou
ld give as good as she got and perhaps even go a step above for those she truly cared for.
“Katrina, like I said before, I am not ready to make the kind of commitment Toriyana is requesting. In fact, being completely honest, I’m not ready to make that kind of commitment to anyone . . .” David softened his voice. “Including you.”
Katrina believed David was expecting some sort of painful reaction from her, but the truth of the matter was she totally understood him. As crazy as she was about David, she knew she was not ready to accept a proposal from him, even if he offered her one at that moment. She kept quiet and continued to simply listen to him speak.
“Katrina, I want to continue seeing you. I think what Toriyana and I had has run its course and it’s time to call it quits. Her ultimatum actually gives me no other choice, but I do believe in my stance that until I am ready to at least get engaged, I am a single man. You can trust that I will always be honest with you, and right now there is no one other than you I am interested in hanging out with like this. But I will not commit myself to anyone other than the woman I plan to spend the rest of my life with someday. I hope you can accept me on those terms and still want to spend time with me.”
Katrina finally allowed the smile that teased the back of her mouth to fully present itself to the front of her face. She felt relief and a bit of a challenge in what David said. She was extremely happy he wanted to continue to spend time with her. She felt a bit sorry for Toriyana and their demise, but she refused to take blame in any way for that demise.
She was now on a mission to be a great friend to David, since girlfriend seemed to no longer be a part of his vocabulary. She would pray, asking God to give her wisdom, clarity of her mind and her steps as far as David was concerned, and the patience to wait for him to decide if she was the woman who would become his wife. She believed in her heart that David was exactly the kind of man she wanted to marry, but the Bible said in proverbs 18:22, “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” So she would wait on God to give him to her, if it was His will for their lives.
“Of course I want to continue to spend time with you. Like I said, I’m crazy about you. Your stance on commitment is cool with me, as long as you keep your promise to be honest with me. And I promise you the same thing. I will always keep it real with you about any decision to see others.”
Katrina threw that last part in for good measure. She could not imagine any man more interesting, intelligent, or irresistible than David Mathis.
For some reason David did not like the idea of Katrina hanging out with other guys any more than he did when Toriyana expressed it during their initial conversation about his level of commitment. David decided he would not worry about it, though. He would just be sure to keep Ms. Hartfield very busy.
Chapter Eighteen
Maleeka and Aujanae were trying to enjoy their meal at Applebee’s while going over their very eventful day at church. Maleeka purposely steered the conversation in this direction in hopes of avoiding having to truly explain her living situation with Darrin as she had promised at the church.
“What was April thinking, showing up at church like that today? You would think the homewrecker would find another church to attend. I could have squeezed the life right out of her with my bare hands,” Maleeka said as she demonstrated her words.
“Girl, I could not believe that skank had the nerve to get all funky, talking about William didn’t find anything trashy about her. How dare she?” Aujanae fumed.
“Yes, child. That was just way too much for me right there. She better go to bed tonight thanking God for you and Deacon Ealy. I was about to punch her straight in the mouth for that comment.”
Aujanae chuckled. “Yes, you were. Girl, you surprised me. I did not know you were this feisty, Maleeka.”
“You know what? I’m normally not that crazy. I have not actually had a fist fight since fifth grade, but seeing her all bold and brazen, standing there like the Queen of Sheba just set something off in me. That cow probably doesn’t think she did anything wrong either. She probably thinks that she had every right to date William because he allowed it. You know what I mean? She probably also blames you. You know how they do and what they say: ‘His wife wasn’t keeping him happy. He was so unsatisfied in his marriage,’ like she was doing him some sort of favor. Women like that make me sick.”
Maleeka had worked herself up into another semi rage just talking about April and her audacity. She was so angry that she almost neglected to notice the pained look on Aujanae’s face.
“Oh, Aujanae. I’m so sorry. I was just rambling on, being all insensitive. This is all still pretty raw for you.” Maleeka reached across the table and rubbed Aujanae’s hand.
“Maybe she would be right. Maybe I was a bad wife. Maybe I didn’t satisfy William,” Aujanae said somberly.
“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. Did William ever complain to you about being a bad wife or not satisfying him?” Aujanae remained quiet and sullen. “Answer me, Aujanae!”
“No! William has never said that he was unhappy in our marriage. I mean, we were not perfect. We had issues like every other married couple. I had no clue that he was dissatisfied.”
“Then there you have it. I don’t care if you were the worst wife on the face of the planet. It would have been his job to alert you that he was not happy and then try to work through things with you, not go out and get himself a hooker.” Maleeka slapped the table to emphasize her point.
Aujanae tried to smile and allow Maleeka’s wisdom to seep into her psyche. Maleeka was right, she thought. William’s affair was in no way her fault, and she would not allow herself to take any blame.
The pair sat at the table, chowing on more of their meal for a few moments before speaking again. Maleeka was the first to call it quits with her Asian chicken salad. She looked at Aujanae carefully, measuring her next words before she blurted them out like she had done earlier without considering Aujanae’s feelings. Aujanae looked up to find her friend staring at her intently.
“What is it, Maleeka? Why are you looking at me like that?” Aujanae asked, puzzled.
“I know what William did was jacked up, Aujanae, but no one will be mad at you if you decided to forgive him and try to work on your marriage.” Maleeka’s voice was the softest and most compassionate it had been all day.
Aujanae’s eyes filled with tears at the heartfelt statement of her friend. Many women colleagues would be singing every woman-done-wrong, girl-leave-him-alone song ever created, but even in the midst of nearly coming to blows with her husband’s mistress, her good friend Maleeka was telling her it was okay to take him back and forgive him. Aujanae viewed that as true godly friendship—a friendship she would be sure to cherish.
“Thank you for saying that, Maleeka, but I don’t think there is anything left for me and William. Like you said, if he was unhappy with me he could have at least told me, warned me even, but he was too selfish to say anything. He did not just have an affair, a thirty-day fling with a beautiful woman he ran into in the mall and just could not resist. He had a long-term relationship. Heck, he even went as far as to fall in love with another woman.”
That statement made one of the tears that rested in her eyes fall, but Aujanae choked back the sentiment and continued to share with her friend what she felt in her heart.
“I don’t think I could ever trust him enough to let him back into my life after that. Not to mention the fact that he thought so little of me, so much of her, that he did not even think to protect me from what could have been a life-threatening disease. No. That is not a man I want to share the rest of my life with any longer.” Aujanae’s pain was tangible, but her strength was admirable.
“I’m not trying to be an advocate for William or his behavior, girl. I support you whether you stay or leave the marriage, but you two have a son together. Have you thought about how this will affect him?”
“Of course I have. B.J
. has been my number-one priority in this whole sordid mess, but William and I don’t have to be together to properly raise our son. William is a great father. I don’t think that will change. I won’t play games with him or anything of the sort when it comes to him spending time and contributing to raising our child. Even if he and April stay together. I know William won’t allow any harm to come to my baby, so we will just work through parenting our child together.”
Maleeka was very proud of Aujanae. Not many women—including herself, if she was honest—would be so amiable under the same circumstances. Aujanae was truly letting her Jesus light shine in this situation. Maleeka realized she was actually glowing with it as she spoke so confidently and sincerely.
“You know, you sound like you know what you’re doing, Aujanae. Good for you. Now me, even though I was trying to be Christ-like when I said what I said about it being okay to take him back, I don’t know if I could in reality be so calm and rational if I had to actually wear your shoes. Me, I would be burning up some clothes, setting BMWs on fire, having a true Waiting to Exhale moment before I let go and let God.” Both women cracked up laughing.
When the laughter quieted down, Aujanae had some questions of her own to ask.
“Speaking of relationships and marriages and whatnot, when did you and your fiancé Darrin start living together? What prompted you all to move in together instead of waiting until you were married?” Aujanae asked, surprised.
Maleeka rolled her eyes, thoroughly through even with herself for her harebrained scheme at this point. She initially started to give Aujanae some made-up story that would possibly make sense of her decision, but she could not even think of one. In light of all Aujanae had endured today and these last few weeks, she felt she owed her the truth. She told her of her reasoning, from the beginning of her plan all the way to how she felt it was the most foolish decision she had ever made as she woke up this morning.
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