“Right. The man who was perfect for me didn’t exist. He was the alter ego of a guy who lied all summer and then ran off with almost no explanation.”
“He was going to explain.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“The day of Jamie’s first lesson, he was nervous about explaining some secret. I couldn’t get him to say what it was. He was right—it was a dilly.”
“That’s ridiculous.” Jill’s heart pounded in her throat. “If he was going to explain anyway, why didn’t he do it? That’s all I asked for.”
“You know where my opinions always get me.” Dee’s eyes shifted from Jill to the field. “Maybe you made too much of the secret and not enough of the reason he told it. That reason must be pretty big. I mean, he kept it from the moment he met you—met any of us. Maybe he believed you wouldn’t understand if he told you, so why open himself up?”
“Almost everything about him changed in front of my eyes, and he told me I didn’t understand him. Why does he get the sympathy?”
At that moment, Becky Barnes trotted from behind the trees, and a cheer went up from her family. Michael whistled again. Anita squealed with relief.
Dee gave a hoot. “Look!”
Her sister’s unbelievable turnaround was one emotional hit too many for the week. Jill stepped back to Jamie’s chair.
“Three more jumps,” she said to the girl. “She can do these, we practiced them all.”
Indeed, Becky cleared the last jumps without incident, and a final holler went up from Michael and Jamie. Anita threw her arms around her husband. Triumph beamed from all three faces.
“Come on. Let’s get to the finish!”
Jamie hauled on her wheels but Michael grabbed the chair handles and pushed her off at a near sprint. Dee followed. Anita hung back and grasped Jill’s arm.
“Could I talk to you for a moment?”
“Sure. Of course.”
“I need to apologize. I’ve been worried for so long that Rebecca would never forgive herself for … the accident, I’ve been overindulgent with her. You saw what Rebecca really needed, and I nearly ruined it. Thank you for giving us this day.”
Numbness swept over Jill. Some weird spell had been cast over southern Minnesota and changed the biggest pains-in-her-ass into perfect, forgiving people. It wasn’t fair. Why would the little things turn around just when life itself had turned upside-down?
“You’re welcome. But you’ve been through something extremely difficult,” Jill said. “I can’t imagine what it was like. I only had to deal with what was in front of me.”
“I’d like to thank Chase, too,” Anita added, and again the knife twisted in Jill’s heart.
“The girls didn’t tell you?” She made her tone nonchalant. “He went back to Memphis.”
“No! They didn’t tell me.”
“If I happen to hear from him, I’ll pass on what you said.”
“He did a great deal for us.”
“Chase?”
“He talked to Jamie’s therapist and then he made some inquiries. A colleague of his found the name of a new doctor who wants to see if some new therapies could work for Jamie. We’re seeing him next month. Michael just told me Chase is a doctor himself, which explains a lot. We’re so grateful.”
Pressure so powerful it caused real pain pressed through her chest. He’d even kept this tidbit about her own student from her. She wanted to scream. Chase the wonderful. Chase the saint. Chase everybody’s hero.
Everybody’s but hers.
The traditional competitors’ party midway through the show was always a whole-town affair. In a place as small as Kennison Falls, it was not possible to keep visitors away from a party with music and plenty of food and beer. The jovial atmosphere brought a fresh wave of dejection over Jill. All summer, she’d pictured Chase here at her side. Could he dance? Did he have a decent sing-along voice? Wouldn’t he have been proud of her, sitting in first place after the dressage and cross-country phases of the show?
As it was, she barely cared. There were only six people in her intermediate division. Her closest competitor was only three points behind her, so first place could be lost by knocking down one rail during stadium jumping tomorrow. It all seemed silly.
Except in Becky Barnes’s case. The child was justifiably deliriously happy—something Jill had never expected to see in her lifetime—over her ninth-out-of-seventeen placing in the beginners’ division. For a teenager who three weeks before had looked like she’d fall off the horse if it flinched away a deerfly, Becky could hold up her performance against anyone’s.
“Hey, you. I feel like I’ve been searching for you all summer even though I see you every day.”
Ben Thomlinson, present by virtue of being the official show veterinarian, set his loaded plate on the table and eased his long frame onto the bench beside Jill.
“It’s been an odd couple of months, hasn’t it?” she replied.
He studied his plate for a moment, and a zip of dread through Jill’s stomach preceded his next words. “I had a chance to talk with Colin Pitts-Matherson for quite a while. He’s a pretty impressive guy. Intense.”
“That’s pretty much an understatement.”
“He told me you’re heading for Florida with him in four weeks.” Jill’s stomach dropped in agonized guilt as he peered at her. “That’s quite an opportunity. Were you planning to let me know?”
Not a hint of anger, disappointment, or censure filtered through his words, but her cheeks stung as if they’d been slapped.
“Oh, Ben, I …” He didn’t make it easy on her by offering understanding. He simply waited while she struggled for words that made sense. “Of course I was. I honestly haven’t decided what to do.”
Was that true? She hadn’t? Of course she had. What was keeping her here?
“Really? You have a chance to work directly with one of the world’s greatest Olympians and you aren’t sure? I’ve known you a long time.”
“You’ve put a lot of time into me, Ben. A lot of people have put stock in my vet school career. How can I disappoint you?”
He set his fork down and leaned toward her. His horn-rimmed glasses slid as usual halfway down the bridge of his nose. His features lost none of their unflappable calm. “Jill, I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be disappointed were you to quit vet school. But I could never be disappointed in you.”
The sting of guilt morphed instantly into the shock of surprise. “I don’t understand,” she murmured. “I can barely breathe without disappointing someone.”
“That I don’t understand. You’ve grown up in front of me. I know what you love, the countless things you excel at. I envy your huge heart and your limitless choices in life. But you won’t get anywhere until you make your choices to please yourself. You can’t make other peoples’ wishes come true. Let them find their own ways.”
It was what her father should be here saying. She took in Ben’s warm visage. For years he’d been more of a father than Julian Carpenter, and yet she’d been so fixated on Julian’s abandonment, she hadn’t turned to the person right in front of her for advice and understanding.
Just as Chase hadn’t turned to her …
Were you ever planning to tell me? Her hands flew to her mouth. She’d asked that very question of Chase. What was it Dee had said earlier? Maybe you made too much of the secret and not enough of the reason he told it.
“What is it?” Ben touched her shoulder.
“It’s all my fault.” She leaned forward and hung her head between her knees as if she were faint, but her thoughts were more painfully clear than they’d ever been.
“What is?”
“That he left. I’ve been so selfish I couldn’t see it.” She’d wept too many times, and to her mortification, and only a little relief, she outright bawled, choking back only the loudest sounds. Ben gathered her into an embrace. “What kind of horrible person am I?” she asked, curling into him, forgetting he was a boss, forgetting
he wasn’t her real father. “I didn’t ask Ch-Chase his reason for hiding. I didn’t tr-trust you to understand me. I’m so self-righteous about how I help everyone else and then I act like a t-total ass.”
“You aren’t an ass. You’re human.”
“What am I going to do? I love him.”
“Love him?” His brows arched above his glasses frames. “Were you ever going to tell me that?”
Laughter mixed with her tears, and she choked while she hugged Ben more tightly. “Can I have a leave of absence?”
He cupped his fingers around her upper arms, and stared pointedly. “How long a leave are you requesting?”
She knew exactly what he was asking. “I don’t know for sure. But I think, maybe, just a week. Or ten days?”
“That much I will gladly give you.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
SUNDAY EVENING, AFTER Becky had moved up a spot, finished in eighth place, and snagged a ribbon she called poop brown but hugged like a new teddy bear, and after Jill had retained first place to Colin’s enormous satisfaction, Jill found herself at her own door. She’d wandered, lost, in Robert’s empty, solemn house, and now she ushered Angel slowly inside. The instant the door squeaked open, her mother appeared.
“Jillie, you’re home? How wonderf—Oh my! What’s that?”
“Mom. She’s my dog. Mine and Chase’s.”
“Oh! I …”
“We won’t stay long.” She shrugged. “Honestly? I just don’t want to keep her a secret anymore. There’ve been too many secrets. Her name’s Angel.”
The dog padded demurely to Elaina’s feet and sat, fixing her big eyes upward.
“Aren’t you the politest dog I’ve ever seen?” Gingerly, she patted Angel’s head.
“Well, well, my prodigal sister!” Dee swung into the room, her eyes bright. “Are you mad at me?”
“About what?” Jill cast her a wary look.
“We kind of ended on unfinished business yesterday. I feel like I lectured you again.”
Jill took a deep breath. “I’m a little afraid to say this, because I really like not fighting with you. But what’s happening? Why are you being nice to me?”
“I don’t know.” She cocked her head. “Maybe you, I, said what we needed to say and now it seems pointless to go back. Besides, I watched you teaching Jamie, and my job’s not in jeopardy.”
“Wow, that’s for sure.” Jill caught Dee’s eye where her smile was reflected, devilish but genuine. “We have fun, but Jamie will need more to do. Would you ever … help? Me. Her?”
“Yeah. If you want. I’d be happy to.”
Their mother took in the exchange, speechless.
“As for lecturing me,” Jill said. “I should thank you. You said some things that made me realize I drove Chase away.”
“It was a big secret,” Dee offered.
“It shouldn’t have mattered. I hurt him because I was selfish.”
“Have you called him? You could tell him.”
“I can’t say this on the phone. That would be more cowardly than what I’ve already done. Besides. If you were Chase, would you even take my call?”
“If I were Chase, I would have fallen for me.” Dee grinned. Sobering only slightly, she offered an awkward embrace. “If someone had told me I’d make friends with my little tomboy sister over a man, I’d have called the men with the white coats myself. You need to go get Chase.”
“It’s only an eleven-hour drive.” The idea had been brewing since her talk with Ben, but Dee suggesting it out loud gave her a boost of excitement and confidence.
“You’d drive?” Her mother’s consternation was clear. “I’m sure I can dig up frequent flyer miles.”
“I’d have to rent a car then. No, I’ll have Dewey check The Creature. It’s been running like a different truck all summer anyway, and I’ll take Angel with me.”
“Honey, maybe one of us should come.” Elaina’s voice still registered concern.
“No, Mom,” Dee said, looking at Jill. “She has to do this by herself.”
Jill sighed gratefully. It was true. No one could face this with her. Chase might slam a door in her face, but that would be her consequence to suffer. She didn’t plan to let that happen.
“YOU’RE GOING WHERE?” Colin stood before her, legs wide, like a general demanding discipline from his troops.
Jill forced herself not to quail. “To the meeting. And then I’m driving to Memphis. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone.”
“You’ll miss at least a week of training before the show in Ohio.”
“I need to talk to you about that. Colin, I’m not going to the shows. I’m not going to Florida with you. I’m going to finish school first.”
“What sort of a rubbish idea is that?” he demanded. “What have we been working on all summer if that’s your plan?”
“You’ve been making me a better rider than I could ever be on my own. You’ve made me a better teacher, too. I’m a good teacher, Colin.”
“I told you you were. Now I expect you to come prove it at my barn.”
“I can’t thank you enough for that confidence. But it’s not what I want.”
“Bollocks that. What? So you’re going after that bloody idiot you have a crush on? Don’t throw away your potential on some drifter.”
“I wanted to be an Olympic rider. I did. Maybe I still do. But I’ve learned that it’s a long, lonely road. Eight hours a day on horses. Six more teaching. It would be a dream to do it for fun. That’s why I ride. That’s why I teach others to ride. I had fun at the show, but what would have happened if I’d come in second or third or sixth? We’d have analyzed what went wrong? We’d have decided who to blame?”
“We’d have worked to eliminate a bloody problem. There are things to work on as it is.”
“Do you know what I did this morning? I called the principal of the local middle school—the one who sent Becky and Jamie to me. I asked him if he knew any other troubled kids who needed a horse as a friend.”
“I have invested my time and my expertise in you.”
“And you will have a hundred wannabes more talented than I am beating down your door in Florida. You know you will. And I have the Barnes sisters. One successful show isn’t going to solve Becky’s problems. She isn’t magically going to turn into an angelic child. She’s thirteen. She has issues. She needs consistency.”
“Then let her bloody parents raise her properly.”
“They’re learning, too. We all are.”
“I’m disappointed in you.” He stood back, his face a mask of British scorn. “David told me you had the backbone for this. Obviously he was wrong.”
He walked off without another word and, funnily enough, carried a huge weight with him—one that had been on Jill’s shoulders for longer than she’d known him.
THE ENTIRE POPULATION of Kennison Falls appeared to have shown up for the council meeting that night. Rumor was there was fresh controversy about the pit numbers, and Jill wondered how much people knew about the papers Chase had found. If they hadn’t heard, she was prepared to bring them up. The crowd spilled into the small park grounds surrounding the township hall. When she eased the freshly tuned Creature into a spot, she turned to her passenger and smiled.
“You ready?”
“One last kick in the ash for Krieger.” Robert lisped slightly, but his eyes shone with their old fire—as they’d done ever since she’d told him about her trip to Memphis.
“Let’s kick it.”
She exited the truck, and The Creature was immediately surrounded.
“There you are!” Gladdie grabbed Jill into a warm hug. “Krieger’s just started.”
Claudia pulled open the passenger door. “Hello, Robert!”
“Claudia,” he replied.
“You look wonderful.”
“You lie often?”
She laughed.
Dewey, Gray, and Jill carefully helped Robert into a wheelchair for the trip to the h
all, and Jill followed with a walker. She grinned as the overflow sea of bodies parted and some of the people started clapping.
Robert scowled and they clapped harder.
At the door, Robert pushed himself laboriously out of the chair and stood with the walker. Nobody noticed them at first. All eyes were on Jim Krieger and his arrogant self-assurance.
“I will share every bit of information I have,” he was saying. “I will also share that the person who found the alleged discrepancy was one Chase Preston, and he is no longer in Connery’s employ. In fact, he’s left Minnesota in disgrace. I have Duncan Connery’s full support on this project.”
Robert grunted in warning and Jill put a hand on his shoulder. “Wait,” she whispered.
She scanned the crowd. Duncan Connery was nowhere to be seen, and her disappointment spread. Chase had liked the man and insisted his grandfather wouldn’t misjudge a friend, but it seemed he couldn’t be bothered.
“The council members have our updated packet of information,” Krieger continued. “I assure you, Sandhurst Aggregate and Connery Construction have done everything in our power to make sure the town, the people, and the state park are safe and well taken care of.
“You know that if we can purchase the last tract of land we need, we’ll be able to build our site far enough from the park boundaries that mining operations won’t affect any part of it. You also know that tract of land is owned by Robert McCormick, who, tragically, has suffered a severe illness and in all likelihood won’t be living on the property any longer. He’s indicating a need to sell at last.”
Jill couldn’t have stopped Robert had she wanted to.
“If we didn’t have proof before that you’re a lying Esh-O-B, I’m here to tell everyone we do now.” Robert’s voice, surprisingly strong, carried through the room.
Krieger’s face drained of color. To see the arrogant jerk rendered speechless by an eighty-two-year-old man with a droop to his mouth and a drag to his foot, was like pure movie magic.
“Where did you get your information? The part that says I won’t be living on my farm any longer?”
“Mr. McCormick, I—”
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