by Tiana Cole
His job was done for the day, yet he was stalling for some reason. It wasn't that late, but Steele was apparently already in his apartment for the night. He had free time now. If he wanted, he could go back to his hotel and call Myeisha. He could let her know that he was in town and take her out to dinner. She’d be delighted to see him, and thoughts of bringing her back to his hotel room after dinner to make love made that seem like a great idea.
As he peered through the viewfinder, he saw Steele in his living room. The bastard was drinking something—probably a fine single malt Scotch. Bruce didn't like to admit to envying someone, but watching Steele—with his expensive clothes and booze, able to change cities on a moment’s notice— made him feel a pang of jealousy. Why did Steele deserve that? Bruce knew he wouldn't mind having that kind of money, even if it was just for a short time. The only period in his life where he hadn't needed to think about money was when he’d been in combat. In the Army, they gave you what you needed and in combat there wasn't anything to really spend money on.
He peered into the spacious apartment and the man in the living room. The job was done for the moment, yet something about Steele was keeping him there. Suddenly he realized what was bothering him. Steele seemed to be waiting for something, or perhaps someone. That had Bruce curious. What could this man be waiting for? He decided to stick around a bit longer to find out. He had to admit, he had a nagging curiosity when it came to Kenneth Steele. He didn't know any rich people. That was part of his wariness in regards to Myeisha working for the man, especially so closely. Yes, she’d been doing it for two years and she’d said he’d never attempted anything more than that one kiss, but would she cover for him? He hoped not, but every time he thought of the hours she spent with that bastard, his jealousy reared up. He knew a part of it was his resentment that Myeisha’s job meant spending so much time alone with Steele. He’d feel that way about her being alone with any man, but with a guy who was rich, handsome, and known to be a lady’s man, it stirred up bad feelings. Concerns.
Indeed, he was curious about the man he perceived as his rival, and he certainly had time to stick around. He might learn something about Kenneth Steele, and it might be interesting to see who showed up. A call girl, maybe? Pizza delivery? Do billionaires even order pizza? All grist for the mill.
It was just a feeling, a hunch, but in combat he’d learned to trust his instincts. Ignoring them on a battlefield could get you killed; ignoring them here might get him blindsided. Odds are it wouldn't be anything interesting, but worst case scenario he’d just waste a little time he’d otherwise spend watching television in a hotel room.
After a few minutes of waiting, a taxi pulled up in front of the apartment building. Bruce wasn't the only one to notice; this was what Steele had been waiting for. He watched as a woman got out and walked towards the front door. Bruce’s heart sank and he muttered a curse.
It was Myeisha.
The front door to the apartment opened and that bastard stood in the doorway. The way he looked at Myeisha kindled a black rage that began building and building fast.
***
Ken smiled at her. “You found the place,” he said, swinging the door open and looking her over.
“Don't sound so surprised,” Audra replied. The look he gave her reminded her more of the masked man in Brazil than the executive in a suit she’d talked to in New York. “I got in the cab and gave the driver the address,” she said laughing. “I barely had to resort to my compass at all.”
“I guess that sounded stupid. It was a crude attempt to say I wasn't sure you would come.”
He sounded looser, more relaxed. “I said I would be here,” she shrugged with a smile.
“Then come all the way in,” he insisted. She accepted his invitation and he led her into the living room. “Would you like a drink?” he asked, then caught himself. “Of course you don’t want a drink.”
Audra chuckled. “Actually, I do want one. In fact, I’d love a drink, but I’m going to refuse it for the same reason that occurred to you after you offered it, you tease.”
“I didn't mean to tease. Well, not about that.”
She sat on the couch, looking around and taking in the décor of the apartment as he took a seat in a leather chair across from her. “This is a nice place.”
“It’s a furnished rental, so I can’t take credit or blame for what you think of it.”
“Convenient.”
“Whether you mean its location or that I get to avoid taking responsibility for it, I have to agree.”
She slapped her knees. “So here we are, together again, this time in New Orleans.” She said the city’s name with drawn out Southern drawl. “We’ve met in Brazil, New York, and now in the deep fried South, yet we still don’t really know each other. That’s kind of pathetic. So now that I’m here, did you have anything particular you wanted to talk about?”
He sipped his drink and deliberated for a moment before answering. “Tell me more about your plan to work for a cruise line. Why that?”
“To travel for free, of course. Of the various service industries, it seems to be the one that offers the most opportunities to see the world and learn while earning a living,” she explained. “On some ships, the crew can even attend the lectures and classes that are offered to amuse the passengers.”
“That plan seems well thought out…” Kenneth noted.
“Thank you. I thought it was. Until the baby threw a curve ball. And I'll admit that now that I know you, it’s clear that you had a better approach—I should've just gotten rich,” she joked. “It’s all a lot easier then.”
“Now who’s the tease?” he chuckled. “Of course, when it comes down to it, you’re absolutely right: money provides flexibility that planning can’t match.”
“And now that I've answered your question, I want a turn at putting you in the hot seat,” Audra grinned.
“My turn to be interrogated?”
“Of course. It’s only fair.”
“I hope you brought your own thumbscrews.”
“I did, but I’m doing this topsy-turvy. I need you to explain a number of things to me,” Audra began. “I propose the following: I tell you the way I see our universe, then ask you to point out where I’m not thinking straight, or if I've made any incorrect assumptions.”
“That’s a rather diabolic interrogation technique, but okay.”
She gathered her thoughts, then began to pour them out slowly. “I've had to interpret and read between the lines, but from the way you've talked, I don’t think you’re over the night we spent together. Putting aside that it led to our current entanglement, you thought it was special.”
“That’s true enough,” he agreed.
“Yet initially, in New York, you held back from admitting that, and even worked to seem uninterested in me. Even now, you imply that there are reasons, whether deep and dark, or light and mystical, that make you hesitate to trust your own emotions, much less understand mine. And it possibly isn't even just me that you’re concerned about. You have reasons to worry about getting involved in a relationship of any kind.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “That’s very perceptive of you, and I can see how it’s confusing. I've told you that you were special, yet I have acted distant. That deserves an explanation.” He paused to take a sip of his drink and collect his thoughts. “Please let me tell it my way, as it’s a bit painful.”
“I'll try.”
“I told you before that I was married once. We were deeply in love, then five years ago… she was killed in a car crash. I'll skip the angst about who might have been at fault and all the self-imposed baggage about what I might have done that could’ve altered the outcome, because all that matters is that I loved her dearly and I still do.”
“I’m so sorry, I can’t even imagine…” Audra trailed off, her eyes beginning to well with tears from the hurt written on his face. He’d told her about his wife’s passing before, but this time her looked dangerously cl
ose to losing his composure and breaking down.
“When I regained my senses, I found myself an eligible and wealthy bachelor—and scared. Some of the women I knew were wonderful, but I couldn't let them become part of my life. Once I knew the pain of having someone you loved ripped away from you, I didn't think I could handle having that happen again. I barely survived her loss.” He stopped and took a minute to pull himself together, refusing to let himself fall to pieces in front of her. “Now as a somewhat young guy, I wasn't about to be celibate, but I stopped taking the relationship part of things seriously and settled into having women around for companionship and sex… with the order varying depending on the woman.”
“So no involvement, no chance of being hurt,” Audra nodded in understanding.
“And I grew a bit jaded. One day I realized that Myeisha was one of the most desirable women I knew, and she had no romantic interest in me at all. I guess it became a challenge. I admired her, and she stood her ground. And then came… Audra Dawn. Of course, you and Myeisha were the same person in my brain for the last few months. I would've looked for you, but I thought I knew where you were and that you were pretending nothing had happened. I could reconcile that wonderful night with Myeisha’s frosty looks, but then you came around and knocked me off balance. I felt love again. It started with sex, but sex is never that good unless there’s more going on.”
“And that unsettled you?”
“Absolutely. Then, in New York, you and Myeisha presented me with the two grand surprises—you and the baby. I was overwhelmed, in shock. I went into defensive mode. I would do the right thing by the child, of course, but I held back myself.” He briefly looked away, then back at her. “It was a nice try for about thirty seconds, but being in your presence, hearing you speak, seeing you, smelling you… I knew I wanted you more than ever. But did you want me? And if you did, could I allow myself to admit that I loved you? I panicked. We’re having a child together. That ratcheted things up my emotional ladder. We were entangled, no matter what I did.”
“And now?”
“I’m tiptoeing through a mine field. I have my conflicting desires and fears fighting it out in my heart,” he confessed.
“But… you care about me?” Audra asked, cautiously optimistic.
“I think I do. I’m quite sure I do. I just don’t know if I should allow myself to act on it.”
“And you’re trying to figure out what’s possible out of the chaos?”
“Exactly. I decided I needed your help doing that. It isn't just about me, and it isn't even just about you. Not anymore.”
She smiled. “Ken, I can’t begin to imagine what you went through. I can’t promise that I won’t die. There aren't any promises. I just have to wonder if never letting yourself love completely is an improvement. Besides, speaking for myself, if I love someone, I'll be damned if I'll lose them because I was too afraid to let them know.”
“This is damn complicated,” he sighed.
“And I think your idea of our rather belated dating is turning out to be a good process for us both to go through. If we don’t rush things, maybe we’ll sort this out.” She stood and looked at him with a hint of confusion mixed with frustration. “This only works in small doses for me, though. The issue of the sexual attraction can cloud things. I find that this chemistry is pretty heady stuff, and right now I need to escape it.”
“Fair enough,” he replied, following her lead and rising from his seat.
He called her a taxi, and they turned the conversation to safer topics as they waited in the kitchen. When it arrived, he walked her to the door. They stopped in the doorway and she smiled as she reminisced.
“Who would've thought a doorway could be such an erotic place?”
He didn't answer. Instead, he held her by the shoulders and kissed her, pressing his warm lips against hers, and she knew he tasted her hunger. It was a passionate kiss, a kiss of fire and emotion. When their lips broke, he smiled at her weakly.
“You’d better go or I won’t be able to resist touching you… tearing your clothes off,” he breathed.
“You’d do that to the mother of your child with the taxi running its meter?”
“In a heartbeat. If she wanted it,” he replied lustfully.
That was the right answer. She floated down the sidewalk to the taxi, thinking that if things were moving slowly, they were being blown by favorable winds in the right direction.
***
The sickly smell of night-blooming jasmine was cloying as Bruce watched the door open. It turned his stomach almost as much as the sight of Steele kissing Myeisha in the doorway. This was a serious kiss, the kind lovers shared. She wasn't exactly objecting to it, either.
Bruce felt his pressure rising. He had to get out of the room, stop watching them. If he didn't, he knew he’d start smashing things and that definitely wouldn't be productive. The worst part of it all was that he didn't know if he hated Steele or Myeisha more. That, and he felt like an idiot for believing her.
Locking the door securely, he stormed to his car while mumbling obscenities under his breath. As he got in, he saw the taxi was pulling away. Myeisha was going home.
He ran it all over in his head, this whole sordid mess. She must’ve told him about the kiss to throw him off. More had to have happened than that. And this trip—it was just to give them time together, a way for Steele to get her away from him, but she had have been in on it. If she felt about him the way she claimed she did, she wouldn't be kissing him like that the first night out of town. The thing he’d come here to prevent had already happened, and it twisted his guts into a knot. How could she do that to him? Why had she acted so pleased to accept his proposal?
Suddenly it was clear. She’d told Steele that Bruce had proposed, that she was going to be married, to force his hand. Steele wanted to screw her, and Myeisha was playing it smart. She knew that if she gave it up to him, that would be the end of things. No, she wanted Steele to marry her, that had to be it. That explained why they hadn't slept together. He’d watched them sitting in the living room the whole time, talking animatedly. Now Myeisha was likely going back to her place. She was holding out, waiting for Steele to propose… then she wouldn't need him any more.
What a bitch.
Bruce drove the car back towards his hotel, stopping at a liquor store where he grabbed a bottle of vodka. He took it back to his room, turned on the television, and drank until his brain stopped functioning. He’d feel like crap in the morning, but that was better than fuming all night, working up a head of steam that could blow up and hurt someone.
Finally he slept. Or perhaps more accurately, passed out.
Chapter Nine
Myeisha’s second day at the office was a long one. Relocating wasn't as simple a process as Kenneth sometimes seemed to think. Even getting help from companies that specialized in temp offices only solved some of the problems. Most of them weren't set up to handle all of his business needs and she had to hustle to make things work.
Worse, Kenneth was in a strange mood. Of course, he was handling two business deals and trying to work out his feelings for Audra. They’d come to New Orleans because of her—there wasn't any other reason to be in that city. The man was struggling to figure out what he really wanted to do next. He’d made a partial commitment and was now examining his feelings for the girl and how things might go. Whatever path he took, he’d be making an irreversible life choice.
Although she admired him for taking responsibility for the child, her bet was that he’d give up on the idea of being more than a sperm donor and merely provide financial support for the child. Doing more than that and actually being an active part of the child’s life would demand more emotional commitment than she’d ever seen him make to anyone. He wanted to do the right thing, but he was quite selfish.
She hoped he’d surprise her.
When she finished up as much as she could for the day, all she wanted was to get home and call Bruce. She wanted to he
ar the comforting sound of his voice and hated calling him from the office with its interruptions and eavesdroppers. It was more to her liking to get home early, draw a warm bath, pour a glass of wine, and then call him to have a lovely, unrushed chat. She ached to get home and at least sit with her wine while talking to her wonderful future husband. Thankfully the drive to her hotel was short.
She neared the elevator aware of someone standing in the shadows of her hotel building’s parking garage—a man. He was waiting there, lurking in the darkness. She put her hand in her purse and wrapped her fingers around the pepper spray she carried. The man stepped towards her into the light and she laughed.
“Bruce! You scared me. What in the world are you doing here?” She ran to him with her arms open and was shocked when he didn’t return the affection. Instead, he stood still, glaring at her. “What’s the matter?”
“You lied to me,” he hissed, his voice cold.
“About what?” she asked worriedly.
“You said you were keeping Steele at arm’s length.”
“I am. And he’s been good with that. Especially since—”
“I saw you kissing him,” Bruce interrupted. His statement was delivered tonelessly, with the flat assurance that told Myeisha he believed what he was saying.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw you kiss him.”
“You can't have seen that because I haven’t kissed him,” she fired back defensively. “He kissed me that one time in Brazil and I told you about that. I didn't lie.”
“And last night?” he questioned through gritted teeth.
“I didn't see him last night. I worked late… with my staff.”
“You’re lying!” he burst angrily.
“No I’m not. We worked until eleven when I came here. I didn't even eat dinner out. I ordered room service—alone. Why are you accusing me of this?” she asked in a confused panic, her pulse racing.