by Tiana Cole
“You have a date?” Christopher asked. He swallowed hard.
“I'm going to a party,” Madison said without looking at him. “I've got to go.”
Madison walked away as quickly as she could. On the front step of the private hospital, Madison looked around desperately for the taxi. Before she could take another step, she felt a hand on her arm.
“Wait.” Christopher's voice fixed her to the spot.
Madison looked around slowly. Christopher was right beside her, with no sign of Ailsa. “Christopher, this isn't a good idea. Ailsa is in there, and...”
“I asked her to wait inside for me. I needed to talk to you.”
“What's there to talk about?” Madison tried to avoid eye contact, she didn’t want him to see the pain lancing through her at how close he was. She took a deep breath and immediately wished she hadn’t. The spicy, masculine scent of his cologne, achingly familiar to her, wrapped around her with every inhale. She made herself stand up straighter, tried to ignore it. To ignore him.
“For one thing, you haven't cashed a single check I've sent you,” said Christopher.
“I moved. I didn't leave a forwarding address.” She turned suddenly and tried to walk away.
“Wait,” he said. “So give me your address and I'll send you some money.”
“Look, I already told you I didn't need you. This is my life, Christopher. Mine and mine alone.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” He knotted his brow and lowered his voice. “Did you get rid of the baby?”
“Of course I didn't. What do you take me for?” Madison instinctively wrapper her hands around her tummy where she could feel just the barest of bumps beneath the skin tight dress.
“I don't know. I come here and see you all dressed up and going out with some guys.” He made quotation marks in the air around the word guys.
“It's none of your business what I do. I'm sure we can agree on that.” She shrugged and searched around for the waiting taxi.
“Does your new boyfriend know you're carrying my baby?” he hissed the words at her and she whipped her head around to face him, her temper flaring at his high-handed tone. He was the one who had left her, not the other way around.
“I'm carrying my baby,” she said. “Ailsa is carrying yours.”
“Madison,” Christopher breathed, obviously trying to regain some measure of control. “Don't hate me, and please, don’t…just don’t shut me out of my child's life.”
She walked away from him towards the sidewalk and he followed just a few steps behind her despite her pointed silence.
“Can't we even have a conversation about this, Madison?”
“I have nothing to say to you.” She stopped and looked up at him. “Look, I can't go to another hospital, and I can't afford to move again, so I suggest you two go back to City.”
“It's too late for that. Ailsa has fallen in love with her new doctor. She's supposed to be the best.”
“Well, lucky Ailsa. Okay, so I'll just make sure we stay as far apart from each other as possible.”
“I don't want it to be like this, Madison. Can I apologize and can we start again?”
“You mean you're leaving Ailsa?” Madison shot back, but she was already shaking her head. “It’s not that simple, Christopher. You left me. You’re married to someone else, for Christ’s sake, and you don’t know for how long. Do you really thing big scary Mr. Baverstock is just going to change his mind in a few years?”
Christopher opened his mouth and then closed it.
“I didn't think so.” Madison rushed away from Christopher before he could speak again.
She climbed into the taxi and looked over her shoulder. By then, Ailsa had caught up to Christopher and linked his arm. They stood, watching the taxi drive away. Madison couldn't read their expressions but her heart sank.
How could this have happened? Her already broken heart was never going to mend; not when she was going to bump into the Knights time after time.
“Who was that couple?” Coralie whispered into Madison's ear.
“Just some people I used to know. I never thought I'd see them again.”
“Oh well,” Coralie said, immediately forgetting all about the Knights. “This is Benny and Jake. Guys, this is Madison. Let's go have some fun.”
Fun was the last thing Madison thought she would have now. If she could have done so, she would have asked the taxi driver to turn around and drop her straight at home.
Chapter 13
“What are you doing out here?” Ailsa Knight rubbed her tummy.
The baby growing inside her had been restless and prevented her from being able to fall asleep again. She had opened her eyes and rolled on to her back on the wide bed and looked up to the ceiling. As if she could sense the mood of her husband, Christopher, who slept across the hall in another room, she got up to see if he was okay.
Out on the landing, she had seen that Christopher's bedroom door was ajar and the light on. She had gone into his room but found his bed empty.
She'd noticed he hadn't been himself for months. He'd moped around and barely spoken to her. He'd spent long hours at work and was always too tired to talk to her or laugh with her the way they used to. Christopher had been her best friend for a long time now, which is why she had trusted him to keep the secret identity of her baby safe. He had been such a good friend, and had agreed to marry her to stop her father from finding out the truth.
But the truth did come out: her father now knew the true identity of the father of her child. Ailsa would always be grateful to Christopher for staying married to her so that her family remained looking like the decent, upstanding people they always were. With no scandals in his life, her father was about to walk into his post as governor – the job he had wanted for a long time.
There was no way Ailsa could spoil this for him, she knew that, and she was glad that Christopher had kept his promise to her. They remained married for the sake of the press, but she knew it was eating Christopher up inside. She knew that Christopher was in love with Madison.
But it was two o'clock in the morning, and she went out onto the balcony to find him sitting on a chair, looking up to the sky. He did not answer her questions.
“Christopher? Didn't you hear me? I asked what you were doing out here?”
Slowly he turned his eyes to her but barely moved his body.
“Come in,” she said. “These fall nights are cold. You'll catch your death.”
Christopher got up and made his way back inside. Ailsa put her arm around him.
“You're shivering,” she said, and guided him towards the kitchen. “I couldn't sleep. The baby was keeping me awake. I was about to make some warm milk. I'll make some for you, too. Sit down.”
Christopher sat at the kitchen table and had his head down. Ailsa looked at him, briefly, and got on with heating some milk. He had not said a word. The milk rose in the small pot and Ailsa turned off the heat. She poured them both some milk into large ceramic cups and placed one in front of Christopher as she sat holding her cup in the seat opposite him.
“It's been two months since you saw Madison, hasn't it?” she ventured to say.
“I guess,” he said, looking at the milk swirling around, steam escaping from the top.
“Have you spoken to her?”
“No. She changed her number, her address...”
“Well, you know where she's working now. Why don't you go in and see her?” Ailsa put an elbow on the table.
“Not after the scandal in the papers the last time. I mean, that's what you want, isn't it? For me to keep away from her? You and your father.” He looked up at her, his eyes red around the rims. Underneath his eyes were puffy, purple bags. He wasn't sleeping well and it showed in his movements and voice as well as in his face.
“Christopher, we've been through this before... and you agreed. You said you'd keep away from Madison so we don't stir up any bad publicity for father.”
“I know what
I agreed, but it doesn't make it alright. I hate that I'm bound to your father like this. He doesn't deserve the job of governor. You know that. It was easy for him to cover up what happened to your brother. And it was just as easy for him to cover up me and Madison.”
“Yes, but this is how it has to be until...”
“Until your father says it's alright for us to get that divorce. What if he wants us to stay married for the whole time he's governor? I'll have to keep my life on hold forever.”
“But you promised me you'd marry me, Christopher. You made a promise.”
“Yes, to keep your father happy. It was only supposed to be for less than two years, now he's got us where he wants us, and I don't see a way out of this marriage.”
“Well, thanks a lot.”
“You know what I mean.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You're my friend, Ailsa and I love you, but the original deal we had doesn't exist anymore.”
“That's true, but you still can't get out of it that easily. Don't forget that if we break this arrangement it will cost you your business, your money, and your livelihood. He will ruin you – leave you with nothing. Is that what you want?”
Christopher got up abruptly. “Of course I don't. If he takes everything from me, I'll have nothing left to offer...”
“Madison? Go on, say it. I can't be more hurt than I am now. You think I don't know you love her? You think it doesn't break my heart that you and she aren't together? But a promise is a promise, Christopher, and you can't ruin this for my father. Your business is at stake too – don't ever forget that.”
“How could I?” He sat down hard on the chair again, knocking the table so the milk sloshed around but did not spill.
“I hate to see you like this, Christopher. I'll speak to father. I'll beg him to release you from your promise sooner rather than later. Then you can be with Madison.”
He sighed heavily. “I don't think she wants me now anyway. I've lost her forever. And I'll never get to see... oh what does it matter?” He sipped his milk.
“What is it you'll never get to see?” Ailsa said.
“I... It's Madison.”
“What is it Christopher? You can tell me.” She leaned forward.
“Look, I never said anything before, but Madison is pregnant.” He looked into Ailsa's eyes. She looked shocked.
“What? But how far along, and why didn't you tell me this before?”
“Would it have made any difference? I made you and your father a promise, remember?” He grew angrier.
“I know, but still. Pregnant.” Ailsa looked hard at Christopher, and she looked worried. “That means you're about to become a father. A real one.”
“Madison must be about four months along now,” he said softly. “I tried sending her money. I tried calling her. I was worried she might run away altogether, so I backed off. I don't want her to leave New York because there's still a chance she might let me see the baby.”
“But she's doing this all alone. She'd not take a cent from you?”
“Not a penny. It's eating me up inside. No matter what I do, I'm a bastard. I can't get anything right. Everything I do is wrong. I've just made bad decision after bad decision.”
“Oh, Christopher, this is so messed up. This whole thing is just…” her words trailed off as if she couldn’t come up a word to describe how bad it really was.
“It’s not your fault, Ailsa. I just wanted…” Christopher paused for a moment, determination hardening his haggard features.
“I will find a way to protect Madison, to support her. I’ll figure out something, I have to, I mean, my baby…” He trailed off again, looking at her with big lost eyes. “I should be there. Right now, I should be there with her. For her. For the woman that I love. To see our baby grow inside of her. To help raise…” His voice broke and he looked away, back into the cold, dark night sky.
“I'm sorry I ever asked you to marry me, Christopher. Truly I am.” Ailsa sighed and sat back in her chair.
“Don't blame yourself. I was single, I had no prospects of settling down with anyone serious. I didn't see myself married until I was forty.” He looked off into the distance. “But then, there she was. Madison. Isn't it ironic that in helping you out, I met her? Talk about bad timing.”
“Please, Christopher. I hate to see you so broken-hearted. I'm so, so sorry. Look, tomorrow I'll go and see my father. You did what he wanted. Surely he can't make us stay married indefinitely. I'll plead with him, tell him that as soon as he takes up his job as governor, he must release you from the deal.”
“He was pretty adamant that we'd have to keep this marriage up a long time, Ailsa. You think you can get him to budge?”
“I'll try. I promise you Christopher. I'll do my best.”
Chapter 14
Madison sat in the chair opposite her supervisor, her pink uniform straining over her stomach.
“But Madison,” Sarah Bishop said to her, glancing at her employment history file and then back up at her, her eyes sweeping over her noticeable bump, “you must have known you were pregnant when you first took the job.”
“Well, I hadn't had it confirmed,” Madison said, squirming in her seat, “so I didn't know for sure. I'm sorry. I guess at the time I didn't want it to be true. I wasn't trying to deceive you. I needed a new job as you know, to get away from...”
“The baby's father?”
“Something like that.”
“So, does he know about the baby or not?” There was genuine concern on Sarah's face. Madison’s thoughts raced. She didn’t want to lie to Sarah, she had grown to really like the woman’s serious, but kind ways and mannerisms in the hospital.
“He does,” said Madison, “but he and I are not together, and I don't want anything to do with him. It's just me and the baby now.”
“Well, apart from the rights he has to see his own child, don't you think it's a little selfish to try to go it alone?”
Madison looked up sharply at the other woman’s words.
“How do you mean?”
“Well, he has to pay child support for one thing. Forgive me, but the last time I looked, the pay for an obstetrics nurse wasn't all that high. How do you expect to raise a baby on your own? You see babies being born here every day, Madison. Don't you ever watch them leaving here and wonder what will happen to them next?”
“Always.”
“Then what do you think will happen to your baby when he or she is born? It's up to you to give your baby the best start in life. That means two parents, if two of them want to know. And if not, two wage earners are always better than one.”
Madison dipped her eyes to the papers on Sarah's desk. She was a few years older than Madison and a lot wiser. Madison knew she was making perfect sense, but to reestablish ties with Christopher would be impossible. In the first place she had told him to go to hell, and in the second, she knew Christopher was tied to a promise and was not permitted to see her.
Although when he made that promise to Jack Baverstock, Ailsa's father, Christopher didn't know about the baby.
“I know you're right, Sarah,” she sighed heavily as she rested both hands protectively on top of her ever increasing belly. “But it's complicated. I know I’ll be alright. I’ll love and take care of this baby with everything I have. If something does happen…well, the father has a lot of money, and if I absolutely have to ask him, I know he would take care of us.” Madison paused, trying to imagine going up to Christopher to beg for money and the thought had her skin crawling. “I would just rather not have to ask him for any favors.”
“What's that supposed to mean? Wait. Is he a married man by any chance?”
Madison flinched as the words struck home, but did not reply.
“Oh Madison,” Sarah said.
“It's not what you think. But anyway, none of that matters now. I'm hoping I can stay working here up to the last moment – if that's okay.”
“You can stay for as long as you're fit and healthy, Madison. Bu
t what happens after the baby is born?” Sarah asked her again, forcing her to think of all the things she didn’t want to face. But she knew she had to, not just for her own sake, but for her baby’s as well.
“Then…well, I guess I will have some decisions to make. I might have to change jobs, I might have to go home to the folks. I've got relatives in Queens, so maybe I can move back there. I don't know yet. I'm just trying to stay as positive as possible.”
Madison left the supervisor's office with downcast eyes. She didn't want to cry. If anything, she was happy to be having a baby. She was happy it was Christopher's too. Of course she would love for the circumstances to be different, but she realized long ago that the second she fell in love with a married man, no matter what his situation was, there was always going to be trouble. It was the chance she'd taken when she broke her own rules. Now she was paying for that mistake.
Besides, how could she go to him now and ask for money from him after he had chosen that very thing over a life with her and their child?
Madison still had a few hours left on her shift. She was not having to attend a mother in labor, so she took the opportunity to get some files put away. The paperwork was piling up so she took the opportunity to do some catching up.
On the hospital's upper level she made her way to the file stores, but she became aware of someone up ahead, standing stock still, but staring straight at her. She recognized the person straight away, her perfectly coifed blond hair and wide grey eyes that were locked on her as she approached. There was no other way to get to the room where they kept the files. She would just have to continue on.
“Madison?” the voice echoed loudly through the hallway.
Madison slowed her pace as she approached, but could not turn back and run away.
“Hello, Ailsa. You're looking good,” she said to Ailsa, who had her hand on her lower back.
“Thanks,” Ailsa said. “I feel pretty tired right now, but everyone keeps telling me how great I look. This baby is like a tap dancer or something.” Ailsa looked down at Madison's bump. “Christopher told me, just recently. I didn't know you were...”