"That's nice for you," I said.
He knew I was mad. He bit his lip and pouted. "I'm sorry. I know how they treat you. But you're lucky, though. You're strong."
"So?" I asked.
"You can take care of yourself," he said, and I really got the feeling he admired me for it. "I'm the weakest kind of person there is. Always will be."
He was right. He wouldn't have lasted a day in the girl's barracks. I said we didn't have any toys, but we did. We had the weaker girls. Beating on them was our play, and we played for keeps. This little creature wouldn't have stood a chance against the smallest girl in my clan.
"At least you're allowed to have wine... and they care what happens to you," I said. "I don't think you'd want to be like me."
He thought about that. "I guess," he said. "I guess it would be better... if there were some place where neither one of us had to worry about getting hurt."
There was another difference between us. He said that with no fear. No Inihu girl would've dared speak so plainly. I wondered if he'd heard of Freedom, the place I dreamed of every night.
He held the goblet out again. "Please take it," he said. "The Master does like to use the whip, and... it'll hurt less, if you drink it."
It was a pretty sad offering. He knew I'd be whipped, knew there was nothing he could do to stop it, knew I'd probably leave with the beginnings of a new set of scars. But he offered me something to make it a little better. It was the first time in my life that anyone had ever shown that they gave a damn what happened to me.
I took the cup, and drank it right down. We finished the whole bottle, before Master Hix got there that night.
* * *
Druberj was telling the truth. His master did like to use the whip. When the fat, old bastard had finally had his fill of both of us, and passed out in his bed, I was sore and bleeding. Nothing new for me. What was new was that Druberj was there. He got up from the bed and left the room. A girl wouldn't have dared to do that. When he came back, he had a little bottle of something, and a soft cloth. He cleaned the cuts on my legs and backside. Whatever it was in the bottle stung for a minute, but then made the original stinging from the whip fade away.
"Thanks," I said when he had finished. I guess I was amazed. No one had ever shown any concern for my pain.
"Sure," he said. "It always helps me. I don't know why they have to be so rough on the girls."
I shrugged. "We're worth less. There are more of us."
He looked a little pained.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You know why there are more of you, don't you?" he asked.
I didn't. Druberj explained. "They want us small and weak. That's what we're designed to be."
"And pretty," I said. He smiled, and we were both a little embarrassed. "Well you are."
"I have to be." His smile faded away again. "The engineers... well, I guess they're not very good at their jobs. Some of us – the boys, I mean – they grow up a little too strong. Maybe their faces are a little rough, or their bodies too stocky or too skinny. They're not... usable."
"What happens to them?" I asked. I felt a lump in my throat. I knew what happened.
"They're killed. Maybe as many as half of us, maybe more...before they're two or three. The ones who are left are rare."
"So that's why they treat you so much better than us."
"I cost the master about three times what it would cost him to buy you."
I didn't have an owner. I was part of the stable of girls that the masters kept to rent out. Very few of the girls were actually sold to one person, and most of those left the planet.
"Guess I'm lucky to be a girl," I said. "I'm one of the strongest, and I bet I'm not nearly the prettiest –"
"Bet you are," he muttered. Then we were embarrassed again.
"Are all the boys as nice as you?" I asked him.
"We're supposed to be nice. Make our masters feel big and important."
"I mean... to the other Inihu. The girls all treat each other like shit."
"I haven't seen one of the other boys for a long time. Some of them are real little bastards, though. The really pretty ones, the ones whose masters spoil them. Buy them clothes."
"Clothes!"
He nodded. "Some get them. They know how special they are, and they act it. I'm just as happy not to see any of them."
"Who do you see?"
He nodded at the snoring mountain of flesh behind him. "That's about it. Sometimes he has a girl or two brought in. They don't talk much. Most of them I think would kill me as soon as look at me."
"You're right. So why try to talk to me?"
"You looked... different. Smarter, maybe. The other girls, their eyes are all dead."
"It's the grog," I said.
"Grog?"
"I don't know what it is. They give it to us to drink. It's supposed to calm us down. They let us have as much as we want. Some of the girls drink it until they get sick. I take as little as they let me get away with. It makes you stupid."
"Like the wine?" he asked.
I shook my head. "Worse. There's something else in it. I don't know what. They say, without it, some of the girls would tear apart everyone in sight, and have to be put down. Killed."
"I guess that's why I thought I could talk to you. You looked more with it."
"Be careful," I said. "The girls are also more violent when they're not on much grog. They could hurt you." It suddenly occurred to me that I didn't want to see this boy hurt. I didn't know why. Pain was part of our lives. You tried like hell not to care if someone hurt you. You didn't even show any interest if someone hurt someone else. The idea that anyone would ever hurt Druberj, though, that just seemed wrong. An image from before came into my head, of Druberj, squirming and kicking as his master struck his naked backside. It had excited the fat man, spanking the boy. I'd seen the proof of that between his puffy, stubby legs. I wished now I'd torn his arm from its socket, so he could never hurt Druberj again.
He was watching me. I wondered if he could tell how mad I'd gotten.
"Why are you staring at me?" I asked.
"Sorry," he said, looking away.
"No, it's all right. Really. I just wondered."
"I've never really had a chance to look at a girl before. You're... different."
I laughed and stretched out on the bed to give him a better look at me. Normally I couldn't stand the looks men gave me. Maybe it was the wine, relaxing me. "Yeah, I am," I said. "Is that good?"
He nodded, looking me up and down. It wasn't the kind of look the masters gave me. It was the kind of look you gave something special. Something that was better than it had any right to be. I can't describe how it made me feel. I'd never felt that way before.
"Does it hurt?" he asked. "When they put their dicks in there?" He pointed between my legs.
"Not usually," I said.
"It hurts me, when the master puts it in me. I'm used to it but... I read that that hole isn't really meant to be used that way."
"You can read?"
"Some," he admitted. "The master taught me, so I wouldn't be bored when I'm alone. I read better than he does, I think."
"What do you read about?"
"Whatever I can. There aren't many books here, but... Mostly books on how to have sex. He likes it when I learn new tricks. Some of the tricks won't work unless you have... what you have between your legs."
He went on staring.
"I'd let you borrow it if I could," I said, and we both collapsed, laughing.
Master Hix snorted in his sleep, and his arm flailed out, nearly hitting me in the face. I was afraid he'd wake up and start using us again, or have me whipped for bothering his precious boy toy.
Druberj crawled up and kissed the old monster, whispering little words of love into his ear to quiet him. The old man rolled over and snored regularly again.
Druberj came back down and lay next to me. He went back to watching my body, studying it like he was trying t
o memorize it. He traced the outlines of my curves in the air with his finger.
"You can touch me," I said. "If you want."
He reached out and laid the fingers of one of his hands on my skin, starting with my cheek. He was gentle, just brushing me with the very tips. His touch gave me chills. It was so different from anything I'd ever felt before. Slowly, real slowly, he followed the line of my cheekbone, down to my throat and collarbone. His fingers slowed when they came to my breast, wandering in circles, playing with my nipple until it stood out from the rest.
That wasn't all that was standing out.
"Look at you," I laughed. "All big and hard, like one of the masters."
He looked between his legs, then turned purple as he blushed. "Sorry. It doesn't usually do that when I'm with someone else."
"Does it do that a lot?" I asked. I was surprised I could look at it and stay so calm. It was a thing that meant pain and fear for me. On Druberj, though, it didn't bother me. I was fascinated.
"Pretty often," he said. "But only when I'm alone, reading some of the books, usually. I guess it must like you."
"You mean you can't tell it when to go up and down?"
He laughed. "Of course not! It's a reflex."
"Oh." I didn't know what a reflex was. "I thought the masters just kind of... turned them on... when they were ready to hurt someone."
"They turn themselves on," he giggled.
"Have you... you know..." I hesitated. The thought of Druberj doing what the masters did was stupid, and yet he had the parts that were needed.
"What?" he asked, "Put it in someone? No. I just take care of it myself."
"How?"
He didn't seem to know how to answer my question. "I... just... I dunno... Watch."
He wrapped his hand around his dick, making a fist. He started to move it up and down, massaging it. The skin of it grew more purple than before, and it looked like it got harder. He moved his hand faster.
"What are you doing, choking it?"
"You wanted to know. It feels good."
"And... how long do you do that?"
"Till it's... done. Y'know... till it shoots... stuff."
"Oh."
"What do you do?"
"About what?"
"When you get... excited."
"I think you already noticed I don't have one of those between my legs."
"No, but... girls can do it, too."
"Do what?"
"The books call it an 'orgasm.'"
"What's that?"
"It's like... when a man shoots from his dick."
"A woman doesn't do that."
"No."
"Then what does she do?"
"I... I have no idea. But she does something. You mean... you've never?"
"I don't think so."
"I think you'd know."
"How would I do it?"
"You'd touch yourself. There. Or," he took a very deep breath. "You'd let someone else do it."
Very slowly, I took his hand from between his legs, and put it between mine. It felt strange, at first. He didn't know anything about girl parts, except what he'd read in books. I started to get the idea, though, and I started to enjoy what Druberj's fingers were doing to me. I arched my back and my hips lifted up off the bed. I felt like maybe my body might explode.
And then he stopped.
"No!" I cried out.
Druberj smiled. "There's something I do for the master sometimes. I think it works on girls too, kinda. Can I try?"
I didn't care what he tried, as long as he kept bringing me closer to... wherever it was my body was going. I nodded impatiently. Druberj climbed between my legs and lowered his head. When his tongue touched me, I yelped so loud that he had to stop and quiet the master again. But he came back.
He was right. I'd never. Not until then. Druberj showed me, that night, that even a lowly slave girl could feel good about something.
* * *
For the next few weeks, I didn't see Druberj or his master. I was glad not to have to share the bed of a sick bastard who gets off on hurting people, but I really wanted to see Druberj again. Inihu don't look forward to things. I don't think any of them, other than me, even think about what the next day might bring. It won't be good, so why waste your time? I looked forward to the day I might see my new friend – my only friend – again. While I waited, I practiced the things he'd taught me. It was exciting to have a secret pleasure, to do something when the lights were out and the others were sleeping. To do something they couldn't share. They shared my bed, my food and my misery, but they didn't share this. Orgasms didn't seem to be as much fun alone as they had been with Druberj, but I wasn't about to invite one of my clan to join me.
When we weren't being used for sex, the Inihu were kept busy cleaning the compound. I don't remember much about the place I grew up, but it was called "the compound." It was in a city. It was fenced off, of course, because slaves were kept there. It wasn't too far from a section of town where a lot of rich men, like Master Hix, lived. When we were taken to their homes to service them, we were carried in the back of a delivery truck with no windows. The rides were never long, though, and then we were in the bedrooms of some huge mansion or another. The compound also had a brothel, with rooms and girls for rent to men who didn't live in the area.
Anyway, I was weeding the flowers. I don't think our customers gave a damn about flowers, but the owners – whoever they were – wanted the place to look classy. They had had gardens planted all over the compound, making a lot of work for us. I was in one of the courtyard gardens, where customers liked to act out fantasy scenes. Just dressed up rapes, really.
There was a rustle in the hedge beside me. It was tall and thick, a green, flowery wall that cut off the garden from the rest of the world. And I heard my name whispered urgently. I looked up, but I didn't move. Leaving my work would get me in big trouble. The girls were always playing tricks on each other. It was a big joke to get one of your sisters whipped.
I didn't see anything. I went back to my weeding.
"Aer'La!" the voice whispered again, a little louder. This time I recognized it.
"Druberj?"
"Shhhhh!"
"Where are you?" I whispered to the hedge.
A clump of leaves shook, letting me know where he was hiding.
"Are you crazy?" I asked.
"Just make sure no one's looking, and come in here."
I looked all around. I was alone. I'd been ordered to work here until someone came and got me. There was nowhere I could go, and I wasn't considered a troublemaker, so I wasn't watched closely when I worked outside. There didn't seem to be anyone to notice if I got up. I was afraid, though; so I kept weeding, and worked my way close to the patch where Druberj had shaken the branches. I guess he knew what I was doing, 'cause he kept quiet.
When I got to the spot, I peered in through the leaves. I could just make out some gray patches of his skin showing through. He held out his hand.
"Come on in!" He said.
I looked around again. It looked safe. On my hands and knees, I crawled between the branches, and into the dark hollow that was formed by the bushes. I was naked, of course, and the branches weren't soft. They itched as they scraped against me. This wasn't the best hiding place in the world.
Druberj sat on his haunches, grinning at me.
"What are you doing here?" I demanded.
He shrugged. "I wanted to see you."
I wanted to see him too, but I was more scared than I'd ever been. "We're gonna get caught!"
"I don't think so," he said. "I hide here all the time. No one ever finds me."
"Doesn't your master notice you're gone?"
"He doesn't worry. He knows I always come back. He just thinks I'm off playing."
"Don't you have work to do?"
He laughed. "I do my work at night. Days are mine."
He reached out and took my hand. My skin tingled when he touched me. I felt ashamed that my h
ands had dirt caked all over them, when his were so soft and clean. "Look, I didn't come here to make you mad. I... I wanted to see you. I missed you."
I glared at him for a minute, but then I said, "I missed you, too. I just don't want us to get in trouble."
"Don't worry," he said. "I know these gardens pretty well. My master's house is only on the next street."
"You're allowed out in the street?"
"Yeah. All the boys are, unless they ever tried to run away." He was quiet for a minute. He just looked at me and smiled. "I'm really glad to see you."
"But I can't stay long."
"I know. I'll come back whenever I can. I'm here almost every day."
"Every day? Have you been... waiting to see me?"
He nodded, proud of himself. "Yep. For a while now. I've sat for hours and watched you, from a distance. I was starting to think they'd never send you to work this part of the yard. But it helped just to see you."
I didn't know what to say. Someone – a boy! – had sat and waited for me. Just for a glimpse of me.
"You are crazy," I said.
He just laughed. Then he crawled over to me and took my face in his hands and kissed me. No biting. No jerking my head around by the hair. No forcing his tongue in, the way the masters did. Just a kiss. Then he wrapped his arms around me and held me close against him. It was warm, and I felt safe. I know now that was crazy, but I did. I never wanted to leave that place.
"Are you mad at me for coming?" he asked.
"No. I've been... thinking about you. A lot."
"Me too. You're all I think about."
"When I think about you, I do the things you taught me."
"You do? Does it feel good?"
"Some. But it makes me miss you more."
He kissed the top of my head.
"When I'm with men now," I went on, "I think about you. It makes it easier. Makes the time go quicker. I pretend..." I stopped. I was embarrassed.
"What?" he asked, his warm breath tickling my hair against my forehead.
"It's stupid."
"I want to know. I want to know everything about you."
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