Coming Together: At Last, Volume One

by Alessia Brio, L. A. Banks, Lisabet Sarai

  "Why don't you come stay with me?"

  Claire's eyes flew open. “No, I couldn't."

  "Sure you could. I insist. Gerard and Kenda would want me to take care of you."

  "I don't think..."

  "Please.” He put his hand on her upper arm, his eyes deep and mellow. “I can't let you wander around the city like this. My place is not far from here. You can catch some Zs, then come back here."

  Claire's breath caught and she heard herself saying, “A ... alright."

  "Good. Let's go."

  She let him lead her out of the hospital, into his car, a silent drive, until they were walking into his loft apartment, a large open room. A counter divided off a kitchen area. A wall sized window gave a spectacular view of the ocean.

  A hint of awkwardness filled in the quiet. He gestured her to the couch in the middle of the room.

  "This opens up.” He demonstrated. “You can sleep here."

  She eyed the king-sized bed dominating the other side of the room.

  Russell followed her gaze. “Or you could sleep there. I'll sleep—"

  "Listen,” Claire broke in. “I don't want you to get the idea..."

  Russell waved a hand. “Don't worry about that. We're almost relatives.” He gave his boyish smile. “You and my brother's fiancé are practically sisters, I understand. Kenda and Gerard would never forgive me if I let something happen to you."

  He opened up the sleeper couch, spread out sheets and blankets. “Now relax. I've got to go back to the hospital to make some rounds."

  * * * *

  Claire woke to find Russell seated at the kitchen counter in some loose gym shorts. Appreciation flicked her instantly. His body was athletic and well-formed. The shorts rode so low on his hips she could see the dent at his groin and the outline of his tight butt beneath the shorts.

  Claire forced herself to speak impersonally. “Don't you think you should put on something a little more conservative with people in the house?"

  Russell gave a start, almost dropping his cereal spoon into the bowl. Then he gave a wry smile. “This is conservative. I usually walk around naked when I'm home relaxing."

  Arousal and laughter struggled in her chest. “Uh, isn't that kind of ... dangerous?"

  Russell threw his head back and laughed. Claire's laughter bubbled in response as she watched the column of his long ebony throat and the flexing of the muscles of his belly. He finally subdued, his eyes still twinkling at her.

  "Okay, not all the time,” he admitted. “But I do like the freedom and sensuality of my own body. How about you?"

  She blushed. “Are you supposed to be trying to turn me on?"

  "Do I?” That slow, breathtaking smile trapped her again.

  "No!” She bustled out of bed, turning away to straighten the covers and fold the bed up. Russell waited until she started toward the bathroom with her cosmetic bag.

  "I've gotten the idea you're not too positive on sex. Have you had a bad breakup or something?"

  She glared at him. “Why do I have to be dumped by a man to be negative about sex?"

  "It could be a woman.” His eyes twinkled.

  She snapped her mouth shut. He was teasing her in a friendly way. She shouldn't be so defensive.

  She came from the bathroom and joined him at the table. The food was good but utilitarian. She was glad to see that Russell had donned his hospital scrubs.

  "Where's your home?” he asked in a friendly voice.

  "I travel. I'm a photographer. I've been on assignment in Alaska for the last few weeks."

  "That sounds interesting.” He tilted his head to one side, his eyes bright, expectant.

  In a few minutes she was describing her work, asking about his, comparing likes and dislikes. She found him likeable and bright.

  He took her back to the hospital to see Kenda while he went to work. They didn't talk on the way. Her openness to Russell puzzled Claire. It'd been quite awhile since she'd even been attracted to a man. Maybe she was way overdue, but right now concern for her friend kept center place in Claire's mind.

  While Russell went to his duties, Claire went into Kenda's room with some trepidation. Gerard approached, holding out his hands to take hers. Tension lines around his eyes dimmed his smile. “Thanks for coming. I hope you're finding everything you need."

  Claire nodded and turned to her friend. “Hi, Kenda. How are you today?"

  Kenda lifted her head from the pillows her smile was sincere, although her eyes were somewhat heavy and red. Claire went to her.

  "I'm fine,” Kenda assured her in her soft voice. “I just want to talk a little while. Gerard, why don't you go get some sleep?"

  She waited until Gerard left the room and sat up with a sigh. “Thanks, Claire, for coming. It was the only way I can get Gerard to go and get some rest."

  "Are you sure you're alright?"

  "Of course, I am. Now tell me, how are you?"

  Claire shrugged, her hands clenching in her lap as she thought of the tension that she experienced with Russell. “You know, I'm fine. I'm not the one who's just been operated on."

  "Don't worry about that. I'll be fine in just a few days and then—” Kenda gave her a sly wink.

  Claire felt another twinge in her heart. She couldn't believe that Kenda would go through all this just for better sex. She rubbed her hands together. “Kenda, I know this is your choice, and I'll support you no matter what. But why are you doing this?"

  "I want to give my man everything."

  "Are you just doing this for him?"

  "Oh no!” Kenda shook her head. “Gerard has made me enjoy sex more than I ever dreamed I could, but I'd still like to have that big explosion like you see in porn movies.” She giggled.

  Claire was outraged. “What are you talking about? Real life is not like porn."

  Kenda look startled at her antagonism. “I know that, of course. But I want to be whole. When I was a girl, my body was changed against my will. Now I have the opportunity to take back control."

  Kenda paused a long time. Claire held her breath.

  "I know it's hard to understand, Claire. You weren't maimed like I was. I'm not sure I can explain it. My ability to enjoy my sexuality was taken from me before I was able to speak for myself. Now I am my own woman, and I have a man who loves me no matter what. There's a chance that this surgery will not help substantially—or that something could go wrong—but that won't affect our love for one another. Gerard and I love with our bodies, our minds, and our souls. I want to use all resources available to make our love as complete as possible.

  "This is for me, not Gerard. Our love isn't based on sex. You must admit that it will be good to have the big O."

  Frustration twisted Claire's face as the disappointments of the last years rushed in on her.

  A soft gasp slipped from Kenda's throat. “Claire! What is it? What's wrong?"

  Indecision wobbled inside Claire for a moment. Then she sank her face in her hands. “Oh, Kenda. I was hurt almost as much as you that day!"

  Kenda put a hand on her friend's arm. “Tell me."

  The two women sat talking for a long time. Claire admitted many of the things that had concerned her over the years. When the nurse came in with medication, Claire stood and gave her friend a kiss on the cheek. She left the room.

  At loose ends, Claire wandered back to Russell's office.

  She found Russell hunched over his computer keyboard. He scrambled to his feet, insisting that he had time to take her back to his place.

  Claire didn't speak on the way. They picked up a fast food lunch, and Russell went up to the apartment with Claire. Suddenly he asked, “What's bothering you, Claire?"

  His perceptiveness startled her, but she believed his concern was genuine. She hesitated, then cleared her throat. “You asked me what happened to me."

  Russell looked questioning.

  "I feel like I owe you an explanation for the way I've been acting."

  "You mean why
you were so angry when you found out Kenda was having an operation to restore her sexuality?"

  He gestured her to a chair and sat waiting patiently for her.

  "When I was a child,” she said abruptly.

  Russell waited, an air of expectancy hanging over him.

  She peeped at him then looked away to continue. “My father was an anthropologist. He was studying modern day tribal life in Burkina Faso, in Kenda's village. I spent my entire childhood there except for a few visits to the United States once a year or so. Kenda and I were like sisters. I was educated with the village children, I played with them, and I went through their daily routines, their rituals. I felt more comfortable there than I did in the United States."

  She shot him an apologetic look. “I know you think ‘she's just a white girl'..."

  "No. I understand completely. I can tell that you're close."

  "When Kenda and I became teens we were interested in boys. For the first time, my father became protective of me, restricting my time with the local people."

  "Did he give you a reason?” A shadow came over Russell's expression.

  Claire sighed. This was a point that she'd found difficult to understand at the time, too. “He said it was because our beliefs weren't theirs, our cultures wouldn't mix. I didn't know what he was talking about."

  "Was it ... because of race?” Russell murmured, his voice stiff.

  "No. I wondered at the time. But I couldn't believe it. He had always fit into village life, showing respect for everyone without regard to their race or station. He'd taught me to do the same, so I couldn't understand why he was trying to say there was a difference now.

  "So I went on. There was a boy.” Her voice softened at the memory. “Abeno was the most desirable youth in the village. Kenda and I both adored him. It was a giggling infatuation. But when we reached about fourteen, Kenda's mother and other female relatives started to tell her it was time for her womanhood preparation.” She broke off.

  "What?” Russell prodded.

  "Circumcision.” Claire could hardly force the word through her clenched throat muscle. It was a moment before she could go on. “I—I was so envious. I felt like a child. I knew Abeno would want her, not me. She was black and going to be a woman. Why would he want me, a white child?"

  She shifted her stiff knees. “I asked my father about it. He went berserk. He scared me even, though I couldn't understand why he was so angry. He tried to talk to Kenda's parents. They got angry. After that, I kept information to myself.

  "And Kenda. Kenda seemed sad. I didn't understand that either. How could she be sad about becoming a woman? Then one day, they said it was time."

  She swallowed, fingering a lock of her hair, her gaze unfocused. A film of sweat beaded her hairline. She was back in the village again, in Kenda's cottage. “Kenda told me it was time. She wanted me to come with her. She seemed so scared, but she wouldn't tell me why. Her mother said I could come if I didn't tell my father."

  Claire stopped and inhaled slowly, sucking air deep into her aching lungs. “There was a house. A woman who did this ... thing lived there. Kenda, her mother, some other female relatives, we all went there. It was like a party. There was food and drink, women laughing and joking. But Kenda got quieter and quieter. They gave her liquor. I envied that, too. I didn't realize at the time that they wanted her drunk to dull the pain."

  Claire closed her eyes for moment before going on. “Finally, they took her to the ... room. The cutter and her mother and an aunt. I begged to go with them.” She struggled not to cry, then went on. “There was a table. They helped Kenda up on it. There were knives. I started to get afraid."

  Her voice broke. Russell moved closer and put his arm around her. “Shh, don't go on. I understand."

  She felt his anger mirroring hers, absorbing hers, so that it became bigger but at the same time, it had less hold on her psyche. She didn't need to talk about the blood or the screaming or the way the women—Kenda's kin—held Kenda down as she thrashed. The way other relatives and friends held Claire back, then tried to drag her from the room. When Kenda lost consciousness, Claire's strength collapsed, and she was half-carried from the room.

  Claire returned to the present moment to find she was weeping against Russell's chest, all the pain and rage of years flowing from her, cleansing her spirit.

  She and Russell remained that way for some time, until her breathing slowed to a regular rhythm matching his. And as she became aware of his breathing, she took in his clean scent, the strength of this solid chest, the muscles of his back beneath her hands, the masculine column of his thigh pressing against her hip. She sat up and eased away from him, pushing her hair out of her face.

  Russell looked at her with sadness. “I understand now. You can't want to enjoy being touched with a vision like that in your head. I wish—"

  Her bitterness returned, giving her a brittle feel as if she'd break. Had she really allowed herself to trust a man for moment? “What? That you could help me?"

  "If you'd let me.” His solemn tone disconcerted her. When she stiffened, he gave a wry smile. “No, no, I'm not trying to seduce you. Not directly anyway. But I'd love the opportunity to awaken your senses."

  She glared. “What, are you a sexual healer or something?"

  "Never mind."

  Claire stood up, pacing away. “The benefit of your vast experience with women, no doubt."

  "I've had enough.” He shrugged. “But more than that, I love—"

  When he broke off, Claire studied him. His dark skin wouldn't show it easily, but she could've sworn that she saw a deeper ruddiness creeping up his jaw and cheeks. “You love what?"

  His dark smoldering gaze swept down her body. Claire shivered, as his voice replicated the trail. “I don't mean to sound vain. I've been told I'm good in bed. I think it's because I love women, everything about them, everything that makes them happy."

  Now Claire was certain that a blush burned his cheeks. He wouldn't meet her gaze.

  "It's never made a difference to anyone much. Not like Gerard with the woman he loves. I just thought that for once, it might mean something."

  The uncertainty on his face gave him a vulnerable air, a quality Claire found deeply appealing. Partnered to the magnetic sexual attraction ... Why not try it? There was nothing to lose.

  "Okay,” she heard herself saying.

  Russell swung around to stare at her, wide-eyed. “Do you mean it?"

  Claire's heart thudded and then settled into a fast rhythm. She made her gaze remain unswerving. “I mean, give it your best shot."

  Russell's gaze slid up and down her body, making her aware of every curve, every dark alcove and needy cell. Claire could swear he must smell her sweat. A smile slithered across his mouth, and his lids grew heavy.

  "Just relax, Claire, and let the moment come. We'll stop whenever you say so."

  "Al ... alright.” She tensed, waiting for the next move.

  "Okay.” He stepped closer, lifting her chin with his knuckles. “When I get back, we'll talk more.” He traced her cheek with his sensitive hands. Claire's skin tingled. Her lips parted. “You're a beautiful woman, Claire Morrison,” he said in a wonderous tone.

  Warmth flowed through Claire from her toes to her core. Russell's face drifted closer until his lips claimed hers. The kiss was gentle, exploratory, trailing over the outline of her lips and cheek. Only when he stepped away did she become aware that she had closed her eyes and put her hand up to his shirt.

  His smile was regretful but full of promise. “I've got to finish my shift at the hospital. I'll be late. Will you be alright today?"

  "Yes, I have to turn in my assignment and look for a place."

  "I'll be back. Think of me.” Then he strode to the door and was gone.

  Bemused and titillated, Claire touched her cheek, brushing her fingers over the place he had stroked. A smile curved her lips. With excited energy, she prepared for her day.

  After she had put the
final touches on her photo article, she emailed it to her editor. She shopped, checked ads for temporary housing, and began research for her next assignment. She squeezed in another visit with Kenda that day, finding her friend tired but upbeat.

  Claire was glad to see the improvement, but she was also secretly hoping that she'd run into Russell at the hospital. Even telling herself she was being silly, she couldn't tamp down her anticipation. She didn't want to get her hopes up, but her feelings for him amazed her. She liked him. That was along with his intense allure. But she knew from past experience, that wasn't enough. Most likely, they'd both be disappointed.

  * * * *

  The evening was slipping into night. She hadn't heard from Russell, but he should be finished work soon. Claire was enchanted with Russell's claw footed tub, located in a little alcove by itself. She decided on a relaxing bath. Using the fragrant oils she found in a cabinet near the bath area, she prepared a steamy aromatic soak. Dimming the lights, she sank into the bath with a sigh of satisfaction. She must have dozed off, because it seemed like only a moment when she heard the front door slam.

  "Claire?"

  Russell! “I'll be out in a minute.” Water sloshed as she struggled to pull herself out of the porcelain tub.

  "Don't hurry.” Next moment he was opening the lattice-wood door that separated the bath from the main area of the apartment. He paused looking down at her, where she'd frozen with her hands on the sides of the tub, her arms cocked, muscles bunched, poised half out of the tub. Her breasts were out of the water but she was only aware of him standing in the doorway, wearing blue drawstring hospital pants and a skimpy tank top. His skin was as smooth and dark as rich coffee, his broad shoulders and muscle-corded arms outstretched against the door frame, one hip thrust out.

  An off-center smile curved his lips and his black opal eyes twinkled. “That looks good.” The words vibrated in a deep rumble.

  Claire splashed down in the tub, a fiery blush burning her cheeks, as she realized that the translucent water wasn't hiding anything. He could see her creamy skin, her nipples pink and full, the dark blonde fur between her legs.

  He let his gaze drop. “Sorry.” He didn't sound sorry. “You look relaxed. Why don't you stay if you want to?"