“You expect me to believe you?” Laura said, her voice clogging with tears.
Cassandra swallowed the despair in her throat. “Yes.”
“Mum,” Dominic growled. “That’s enough.”
“Laura, this isn’t the time or place,” Michael said firmly, putting his hand on his wife’s arm.
Laura shook him off. “No, I can’t do this any longer, Michael. I really can’t.” Her gaze returned to her daughter-in-law. “I’m sorry for my attitude, Cassandra, but I can’t help it. I know you’re married to Dominic now, but…” Her face began to screw up. “It’s just that…” She took a deep breath. “You deserted my son. You deserted Liam when he needed you most,” she choked, then took another shuddering breath. “And I find that impossible to forgive.” Cassandra gasped.
Dominic swore low in his throat.
Adam muttered, “Mum…” in a warning voice.
At that moment Cassandra decided this wasn’t going to work. She’d been crazy to think it might. It was clear her mother-in-law wasn’t going to forgive her for something she hadn’t done. Michael believed the worst of her, too. So did Adam.
She blinked back tears, then realized she was actually relieved it had been brought out in the open. The time was right to get this off her chest. “Laura, what you said is not true. I didn’t desert Liam at all. He deserted us.”
Laura inhaled sharply. “No, you pushed him out of your life those last few months. He shouldn’t have had to come back home to…to…die.”
“But he wanted to go home. He wanted to be with you and Michael. He didn’t want to be with me and Nicole. That’s why he went home. It wasn’t because I pushed him away. That’s simply not true.”
“How can you say that?” Laura whispered.
“I begged him to stay with me and Nicole, but he wouldn’t listen to me. I even asked if we could go live with him at your place. He wouldn’t let us.”
“No, I don’t believe you. He wouldn’t do that.”
“I’m afraid he did. There were many things about your son you didn’t know.” She had to tell Laura. “It wasn’t easy living with Liam, not before he got sick and certainly not after.”
“You were his wife. You’re the one who took his love and…” She gave a sob. “You could have helped him through all that. He loved you, Cassandra. You should have helped him, not pushed him away.”
Anguish twisted inside Cassandra. “No, I didn’t push him away. We’d both fallen out of love long before he got sick, but I stayed with him because I was his wife and because I once loved him. I felt I owed him that. In the end, he didn’t want even that from me.”
Laura shook her head, clearly determined not to believe her.
Cassandra had known this wasn’t going to be easy. “Stop for a moment and look past your grief. Listen to what I’m saying, Laura. Liam knew he was dying. He knew his time was limited. Don’t you think he’d have wanted to spend every minute with his wife and daughter? And if not with me, then at least with Nicole?” She paused. “So why didn’t he?”
Laura paled a little, but she remained firm. “You wore him down until he gave up and left, that’s why.”
“No.” Cassandra held the other woman’s gaze, refusing to accept responsibility for something she hadn’t done. She understood why her mother-in-law couldn’t let go of the past right now. Laura hurt too much in losing her son, and she needed someone to take that hurt out on.
Her.
“Laura, would you have given up on spending the last few months with your son?” She saw the shock on the other woman’s face as the words hit home. “No, you didn’t, did you?” she said gently.
All at once Laura looked stricken. “But…I don’t understand. Why would Liam want a baby so much, then walk away from her in the last few months of his life? It doesn’t make sense.”
Cassandra exhaled. She was finally getting through. “Everybody reacts differently.”
“I know, but…”
“I can only guess he didn’t want Nicole to be affected by everything going on with him. I’m sure Liam wanted his daughter, but I think in the end he became too scared to love her.” She took a shaky breath. “He knew he was leaving her, you see.”
Tears pooled in the other woman’s eyes. “Oh, my God, I do believe you,” she whispered, then spun away and buried her face in her husband’s chest.
The relief of being believed was so strong, Cassandra’s knees wobbled. Until this moment, Liam had been between them, blocking her mother-in-law from seeing the truth. As painful as it was, Laura had accepted it now.
She felt a hand on her shoulder then, and realized Dominic was steadying her. She looked up at him beside her…with her daughter still in his arms…and suddenly she had to know something. He’d finally believed her last night about her loving Liam when she’d married him. But did he believe her now? Did he believe that she hadn’t pushed Liam into going home to die? That she had been willing to look after her husband until the end? She needed to know. “Do you believe me, Dominic?”
The question hung in the air. Then, “Yes, Cassandra, I do.”
For a moment her heartbeat stuttered as love swelled within her.
And then as quickly a pain-filled looked entered his eyes.
His mouth opened—
Just then, Laura left her husband’s arms with a short sob and hugged Cassandra. “I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.”
Cassandra hugged Laura, but her eyes were on Dominic. She’d seen him give a jolt and his mouth closed, the moment broken. She had the feeling he’d been about to say something to her. Something important. Could it be regret for the way he, too, had treated her?
Disappointed that this would have to wait, she hugged her mother-in-law. “Laura, I understand.”
Laura eased back. “But I’ve been terrible to you. Really terrible. I’ve even shocked myself at how horrible I’ve been to you.”
“It was your grief talking, Laura. Not you.”
Her mother-in-law’s face softened. “Thank you, darling. You’re such a lovely person. I’m so proud now that you’re married to Dominic, and that you’ve given us such a beautiful granddaughter.”
Cassandra’s heart rose in her throat. “No, thank you for letting me be a part of your family again,” she said huskily.
They smiled at each other.
“Right. Now that’s out of the way,” Adam said in a joking manner. “Can we please decorate the tree? I’d like to get fed this side of Christmas.”
Michael said something lighthearted then, and Laura gave a watery laugh, but Dominic said nothing and Cassandra thought he looked a little strained around the eyes. She wanted to tell him not to worry, that she forgave him, too, but Adam called to him and Dominic turned to follow his brother.
She gestured to the couch. “Why don’t you both take a seat,” she told her in-laws, “while I go check on dinner?”
“Do you need any help?” Laura asked.
“No thanks. It’s all under control.” She spun away as the tension from the last few minutes suddenly got the better of her and tears welled in her eyes.
Once in the kitchen she stood for a moment, needing time to herself to absorb everything that had happened this evening. She hadn’t let herself admit until a few minutes ago just how much she’d wanted to feel a part of the larger family unit again. A family who shared the day-to-day things like the Roths did. A family who laughed together and, yes, sometimes cried together. A family who shared a love of family.
And then she realized her mother-in-law’s acknowledgment that she hadn’t been at fault was a release. She could finally forgive Liam for what he’d done to her, not only during their marriage, but in writing that letter of untruths. She could be generous now. She had so much. She was alive and Liam wasn’t. She had their child to love and Liam didn’t. And she had the man she loved, as well. So yes, she could be charitable in her thoughts of Liam.
She was on the way back to the living room when she re
membered they’d wanted to record the tree being decorated. She veered off to retrieve the camcorder from the study where Dominic had left it earlier.
The camcorder was on the desk, and she quickly picked it up. Then she noticed his briefcase open beside it, and she went to close the lid, thinking he must have been in a hurry and forgot to himself. But as she touched the handle, a heading on some papers in his briefcase jumped out at her. It was Dominic’s will.
She didn’t mean to look, but she caught her name and she was drawn to see what it said, thrilled to see that he had made his will over to her as his wife. Her heart thudded. He would only do that if he believed she was worthy of his estate.
Then Nicole’s name caught her eyes.
And then the wording jumped out at her….
“To my daughter by blood, Nicole Roth, I leave…”
For a split second it was as if someone had unplugged her from a life-support machine. Then her heartbeat kicked back in. Nicole was Dominic’s daughter? Dear God in heaven. He couldn’t possibly be…. There was no way he was…. Her eyes stared at the paperwork as if it could speak. And maybe it already had. It was telling her that what was in front of her eyes was the truth. Dominic was Nicole’s real father!
Cassandra sucked in a sharp breath and as quickly shook her head. No! Liam had fathered Nicole. He’d decided on artificial insemination because he hadn’t wanted to make love due to his illness. Why, they’d even gone to the hospital together for the procedure.
And Dominic had visited Liam.
She remembered now that Liam had said Dominic had come by when she was being prepped for the procedure. She swallowed back a sob of despair. Liam must have asked Dominic to do this for him. But why, especially after all Liam’s talk about leaving something of himself behind? He’d wanted a child, he’d said.
His own child.
No, Dominic’s child, she thought in anguish as she started the now seemingly endless walk back to the living room, the will in her hand, her heart in shock.
Once there she stopped in her tracks, her eyes going straight to her baby girl, who was sitting on Laura’s lap. Her gaze traveled over Nicole’s face with a different mindset now, taking in each of her daughter’s features. This was not Liam’s child, so there was nothing of Liam in her except by blood as an uncle. An expression she’d thought reminded her of Liam wasn’t his. The shape of those little ears, which she’d surmised were so like Liam’s, couldn’t be. And that smile. How could she have missed it before? It was Dominic’s smile. God. No wonder he’d been so protective of Nicole.
All at once she started shaking. Her throat seemed to have closed up. How could Dominic have betrayed her like this? How had he been able to look at her day after day and not say anything? That hurt the most. The deceit.
He must have sensed her, because she saw Dominic’s head snap up, and then, as if in slow motion, his gaze dropped down to the papers in her hands. He froze.
He knew.
“Cassandra?” he finally said and went to take a step toward her.
She held up her hand to stop him, then managed to speak. “Why, Dominic?”
He stood still, with a dignity that surprised her. “Because Liam asked me to.”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. She couldn’t believe this. It was a nightmare. One there was no waking up from.
“What’s going on here?” she heard her father-in-law say.
Neither she nor Dominic moved.
“Cassandra? Dominic?” Michael’s voice was firmer this time.
Cassandra turned her head toward her in-laws. Her heart broke for them. Not only had they lost their son, but now they’d lost the last connection to that son. How did they tell them?
“You’re both as white as sheets,” Laura said, concern written on her tear-dried face as she looked from one to the other. “Is everything okay?”
Cassandra’s heart dipped inside her chest. No, everything wasn’t okay. Not for her, anyway. As for Dominic, sure he was okay. He hadn’t just found out his daughter had been fathered by someone else.
Before she could speak, Dominic squared his shoulders. “Mum, Dad. I have something to tell you.”
A second ticked by, then another.
“Tell us what, son?”
Dominic took a deep breath, swallowed and said, “Nicole’s my child. Not Liam’s.”
All the air seemed to suck from the room.
Then, “Sweet Jesus!” Adam swore from over near the Christmas tree.
“What the hell!” Michael surged to his feet.
Laura stayed where she was, her forehead creased with incomprehension as she looked at her eldest son. “I don’t understand,” she said, not seeming to take in what he was saying. “Are you saying Cassandra had an affair?”
Cassandra took a step into the room. “No! I would never have cheated on Liam…” she shot Dominic a dark look “…in spite of what anyone else may think.” Then her lips twisted. “Of course that didn’t apply in reverse. Liam cheated on me, Laura, but not in the way you think. He had Dominic donate his own sperm for the insemination procedure.”
“Wh-what?” Laura exclaimed.
Adam swore again as Michael’s legs seemed to give way and he sank back down on the couch.
“Listen to me,” Dominic said firmly, not moving toward any of then, standing tall. “Liam was worried his sperm would be affected by all the treatments he’d had to endure. At the last minute he asked me to substitute my sperm for his and I couldn’t say no. I’m Nicole’s father.”
There was another stunned silence for at least ten seconds, then Laura looked across at Nicole in the playpen. “So she… Nicole is…” She burst into fresh tears.
It was the final straw for Cassandra. She couldn’t bear to see the other woman’s anguish when she had so much of her own. Dropping the paperwork from her hands, she ran for the stairs, not sure where she was going and not caring right then.
Dominic found Cassandra sitting on the edge of the bed. Sobs racked her body and his heart ached for her. He wanted to go and pull her into his arms, but this once he dared not. She didn’t need his comfort right now. She needed to work the shock through her system.
And, dear God, she needed to forgive him.
“Cassandra?”
She jumped up, the lines of her face tensing through her tears. “How could you do such a thing?” she choked out.
Her pain was his pain. “You don’t think I’ve asked myself that question over and over?” he said rawly.
“What sort of man are you, Dominic?”
It was far from a compliment, but he knew he had to take a stance. “You told me you couldn’t abandon your family when they needed you. Well, I couldn’t abandon Liam. That’s the sort of man I am.”
Her face betrayed a hint of compassion. Then she drew breath. “That protective instinct again, Dominic?” she said sarcastically.
He held himself erect. “Yes.”
She took a breath, then let it out, and her eyes filled with confusion. “I still don’t understand why Liam wanted you to do this. The doctors had already told him his disease wasn’t hereditary.”
His insides relaxed a little. She now seemed willing to listen. “In his head he knew that, but at the last moment his heart told him differently.” He held up his hand when she went to speak. “And no, he didn’t want to back out. Not after he’d asked you to have his baby in the first place. He was concerned for you, Cassandra. Not himself.”
A hard light entered her eyes. “Was he? Then it was the only time ever.”
“I know my brother was no saint but—”
“He accused me of having an affair. He wouldn’t believe it wasn’t true.”
“I realize that now.”
No wonder she hadn’t seemed to know her way around a bedroom. She hadn’t been in too many of them, that’s why. Lord, he felt bad for believing Liam now. Whatever the reason that his brother had convinced himself her unfaithfulness was true, he shouldn’t have
accepted it at face value. After all, Liam had told him Cassandra had pushed him out of their home because she hadn’t wanted to be around a dying man, and that hadn’t been the truth, either.
No, his brother had turned his back on his wife and child when he should have needed them most. All at once he knew why. Liam simply hadn’t the fortitude to continue the charade. It had all been too much for him. He had no doubt Liam had loved Cassandra and had loved Nicole as his niece, but in the end loving them hadn’t been enough. So Liam had done the only thing he could.
He had given his brother back his daughter.
And had given his brother his wife.
It wasn’t what he would have done in that position. As sure as hell if he had been dying—God forbid—then he’d want to take his last breath in his wife’s arms and with his children around him.
“Dominic, I don’t think you knew your brother at all,” she said, pulling him back to the present, shooting him a glare beneath wet lashes. “But no matter how wrong Liam was in doing what he did, what you did was worse, Dominic. I’ll never forgive you for this.”
Her words hit him where it hurt and intense pain erupted inside him. The only thing he’d been guilty of was loving too much. His brother. His daughter. Now his wife.
All at once he could see everything with clarity. This wasn’t just about Nicole being his own child. This was about him and Cassandra. He was standing here, looking at her heart breaking over what he’d done, and he realized it went further than that. He knew then in his heart that she loved him.
And he had to make her admit it…or risk losing her forever.
“That’s because it’s easier to forgive a dead man,” he said.
She gasped. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re upset with me because you love me more than you ever loved my brother.”
She stiffened. “I never said that.”
His heart caught, then released. “I know, Cassandra. I know deep down that you love me. I know because I love you, too.”
“Wh-what?”
He knew because it was a feeling of having his heart linked with hers. When she laughed, he laughed. When she cried, he cried. When she loved, he loved. He was aware now that she felt the same for him. It was in her every breath. It was deep in her eyes. He couldn’t let this woman go.
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