“And how are you my sweet? Are you well this evening?”
“Just fine thank you. It’s nice to see you again Aries.” I was trying to be polite, but in a strange way I really was happy to see him. He was a feast for the eyes and senses. As he inched closer I picked up his scent. He smelled of freshly cut grass and clean winter air, an impossible and intoxicating combination.
“Certainly lovely to see you again.” He took an exaggerated sniff of the air around him. “You smell lovely tonight.”
Gavin cut him off. “And that’s the second thing I wanted to talk to you about. Rachel is our only female vampire who’s still in her transformative year. She is in need of the training that is to take place tomorrow night if she is going to fight without being killed. So I need you to talk to your men and advise them they are not to try and use their influence. Leave the pheromones at home. Understand?”
“Of course,” Aries agreed, “they will be disappointed but they’ll get over it. I will be sure to speak with them.”
“And besides,” Gavin put his arm protectively around my waist, “we are to be married.”
“Oh my.” The satyr seemed disappointed. “Congratulations are in order then. I wish you many children.” His well-wishing rang hollow.
“Thank you.” Gavin said.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will need to go inform the herd.” And with no further pleasantries the satyr turned abruptly and left as quickly as he had shown up.
“Well that’s done,” Gavin said sounding relieved. “Remember what I told you about not coming into physical contact with them when they arrive tomorrow night. I’m sure Aries will talk to his men and explain the situation, but some of them are tricky, that’s how they’ve survived this long, they have had to be ruthless.”
“I get it.” I was disappointed that my fiancé thought so little of me that he assumed I wouldn’t be able to control myself around the handsome creatures. “And besides,” I added, “you’ll be there watching, making sure they don’t do anything they shouldn’t, and you know I won’t do anything to betray you.”
“Not willingly,” he said. With that he took my hand and we began our walk back to the sanctuary. I wasn’t sure at that point if I should take his words as warning and concern, or distrust. I decided that tomorrow night when the satyrs arrived that I would show what self-restraint I had. No matter what chemical tools these creatures had in their arsenals, I could resist. I could be a good vampire and not need to be minded like a child, although I was sure that was how Gavin saw me sometimes.
Given that he had about sixty years on me, I guess maybe it was natural. If he didn’t have the looks, body, and personality of the time when he was transformed I’m sure I would have thought him a dirty old man.
“You should sleep tonight even if you feel like you don’t need to.” His orders were beginning to irritate me. I was getting tired of being told what to do.
“I can decide that for myself thank you very much,” I said with a tone that was nothing short of snotty.
He was taken aback. “Ok,” he said, “it was just a suggestion. Is everything all right?”
Suddenly his treatment of me felt offensive. I was getting more agitated by the minute and I felt my hands beginning to shake.
“I’m just getting tired of being here. Tired of being told what to do and when to do it, and how to live. I was alone before you people changed me and maybe I was sick but I did what I wanted, when I felt like it. I might not be a very old vampire like a lot of you, but I’m still an adult.”
My frustration was getting the better of me and I seemed to be unable to stop myself from saying things I might regret. The sanctuary was beginning to feel more and more like a prison by the second.
“I’m sorry.” Gavin was stunned. “If I’ve said or done something wrong I apologize.” I could see he was searching his mind for something to say to make everything better. “Do you want to go to your house for a little while? We could go spend some time there, maybe that would make you feel better?”
“I don’t want to ‘spend some time’ there,” I snapped, “I want to go home. I don’t feel like my own person here.” I was becoming unhinged.
“Calm down. Everything’s going to be ok,” he said reaching for my hand.
“Don’t! I don’t want to calm down.” Perhaps the finality of my snap decision to take Gavin and Angus up on their offer to be one of them was at last sinking in. “Everything is upside down.”
“What do you mean?”
“My life is not my own anymore, I’m not sure it ever will be again.” He looked like there was something he wanted to say but was afraid. “What?” I asked.
“I know I sprang my proposal on you kind of suddenly. Are you having second thoughts?” I could tell by the look on his face and tone of his voice that with everything in him he wanted me to say no, that I was not, but I couldn’t in all honesty give him that answer.
“I don’t know,” I said. A wave of guilt washed over me, I knew I was hurting him and that was the last thing I wanted to do. He lowered himself slowly onto the ground rubbing his forehead. “I think I need to be alone for a while,” I said.
Even though I had been scared to be alone in my room since James attacked me, the need for privacy outweighed fear right now. So much had happened in the last few weeks. Once again I was silently contemplating ending my life. In some ways it seemed a better option than living for centuries as the consequence of a snap decision.
Gavin was dejected, “Ok,” was all he said. I could tell he didn’t want to leave, but he made himself go without another word.
I made my way back to the room and pushed a large dresser in front of the door. At least if someone tried to force their way in I’d have a few seconds warning. I took a stake from the dresser and placed it under my pillow for protection. After a few moments of surveying the room and making sure I was totally alone, I lay down and slept.
Chapter Twenty Three
During the night I woke once when I had a nightmare about James, but quickly willed myself back into oblivion. This little trick sure came in handy when you didn’t want to face reality. I wondered why we could do this, if it was perhaps for some larger purpose. For someone who always had bouts of insomnia the sleeping on command was at least one welcome change.
The morning light was filtering through my shaded window now. In this room I didn’t seem to need the glasses, but I got up and drew the curtain darkening the room again anyway. It looked like a beautiful early spring day, and I was in no mood for it. I longed for night and darkness. The daylight felt confusing and burdensome. I knew I’d be expected to get up and prepare for our meetings with the other clans this evening, but all I wanted to do was stay in bed until the sun went back down.
I pulled the blanket back up over my head and pushed it out of my mind. I was going to hide in here until I absolutely had to face the day. I began to feel pangs of desperation due to the sudden lack of control over my life. Sure I had never had full control over my mind, but I was autonomous. Not anymore. I began to think about the ways to kill a vampire. Decapitation? No, can’t do that to myself .
Fire? Yes I could probably set myself on fire, if my talent would allow me to do it. If not there were other ways to burn, but it seemed like too slow a death. Piercing the heart with something sharp? Yes that seemed reasonable. It seemed like the best way.
In my sadness and frustration I reached for the stake I had placed under the pillow the night before. Still there. I pointed it to my heart, held my breath and pressed it to my skin as the blood came, pooling around the edge of the wood. I pressed a little harder and the wood sunk a little deeper. Just a little more and I’d be relieved of this life for good. I had died when being made vampire, but I made up my mind I would die a second and final death now.
Just as I was about to give the stake its final push the door burst open splintering the large dresser into pieces that flew all over the room. Suddenly Gavin was on top of
me pulling the stake out. He flung it across the room so hard it wedged itself firmly into the wall. Desperately he licked the deep wound in an effort to get it to heal. I tried to push him off me but he grabbed my hands and held me down forcing the wound to close over.
“You stupid girl,” he said when he was finished. “You were about half an inch away from dust. It’s lucky I was so close. What were you thinking?” he demanded. I had no answer.
“Go away,” was all I could think of to say. He seemed to calm a little once the immediate threat was over. He pulled me close and held me against him as tight as he could. “Get off me!” I screamed.
“I created you,” he said not letting me go. “I’ll know when you are close to death or if you die. My blood is your blood. If you can’t or won’t be my lover, or my wife, you must at the very least stay alive. I can’t live in a world that doesn’t have you in it. It would be death for me too. Most makers don’t survive the breaking of a blood bond.”
“Everything is happening too fast Gavin.”
“Of course it is. Damn Angus, if he had let me change you when I first went to him we could have avoided this.” He took my face in his hands and forced me to look at him. For the first time I could see that tears were streaming down his cheeks. “You must promise me, Rachel, that no matter what happens you can’t die.” I was still unsure of what I was feeling. I didn’t want to make that promise.
“Promise me!” he demanded.
“I can’t,” I said.
His lips gently brushed my forehead, and then all at once he became very still. His arms immobilized as solid as a statue, his eyes frozen in horror as if he was seeing some sort of specter.
“What is it?” I said. He remained silent and frozen in terror. I tried to shake him but there was no response. “Gavin,” I whispered. I touched his forehead snapping him back into reality.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he screamed as he grabbed my shoulders and rattled me hard. He jumped up retrieving his sword from against the wall where he had placed it and bounded for the door. I managed to get in front of him just in time to block his exit.
“Tell me what you saw,” I said.
“I saw James. I saw what he did to you.” He was overflowing with emotion. Furiously pulsating with hatred and anger. “He’ll never get the chance to do it again.” He attempted to push me aside; I grabbed his face and made him look into my eyes.
“No. He’s mine. Mine to kill,” I screamed at him. “I’m going to be the one to kill James, and not you or anyone is going to take that from me.”
“You can’t kill James, he’s older and stronger than you. Get out of my way.”
“I was old enough for you to satisfy yourself with.” The words cut him.. His anger retreated leaving remorse in its wake.
“Is that why your feelings have changed for me?” I stayed silent. He waited for a moment and then threw his sword across the room. “I won’t touch him, do what you want.” He walked slowly to the door and I moved out of his way. I regretted what I had said immediately, but I needed to stop him. James was going to die but not in a fit of his brother’s rage. It would be over too quickly, he didn’t deserve such an easy death.
As soon as Gavin was gone from the room I realized the mistake I’d made. Suddenly the only thing I wanted was to tell him I was sorry. Anger had been my companion ever since the council meeting and I couldn’t explain why. The clouded uncontrollable thoughts and irrational emotions I’d had all the years I was sick seemed to be resurfacing.
I made my way to the dining hall hoping to find him. There were a few vampires dining alone, but no Gavin. I went back and knocked on the door of his old room, trying a few times, but got no response. Finally I decided to check the courtyard. On my way out the door I ran into Holly.
“You’re not yourself,” she said.
“I’ve been feeling horrible since yesterday. How did you know?”
“I can see it in your skin, you’ve been blood influenced. Some of us can see it physically.” Holly rubbed her hands together vigorously, watching them as she did as if she was looking for some sign. She must have seen something I didn’t because a moment later her eyes lit up and she took both her hands and placed them on my temples. She pressed into my head with all the force she could gather. Her strength was so immense that for a moment I thought my skull might crack under the pressure.
“Jesus!” I said in protest.
“Shh, shut up,” she said pressing harder. Suddenly I felt something lift in me, as if a weight I hadn’t known existed was thrown off. I inhaled heavily, drawing as much air as I could. It felt as if this was the first time I had taken in oxygen in days, my thinking was now totally clear.
“I have to find Gavin.” I was panicking now.
“Why?”
“I said things to him, things I don’t know he can ever forgive me for.”
“Let me come with you. I can explain it to him. Don’t worry,” she said taking me by the shoulders, “there isn’t anything for which he will not forgive you.” Her reassurance didn’t make me feel any better. I would have to hear it from Gavin himself.
We ventured out into the courtyard and saw that it was empty. “He wasn’t in the dining hall or his room either,” I said. Holly simply smiled. She was looking up at the tallest tree across the lawn. There was nothing there but a crow. Casually she strode across the field until she was directly under the tree.
“Come down little black bird,” she said. To my amazement the crow came down and landed in front of us. A strange electrical humming noise filled the air and a moment later the crow was no longer a crow, it was Gavin. This was one secret he hadn’t shared with me. “I really hope you weren’t thinking of flying off somewhere on our big night.” She smiled at him. He forced a sad, tired smile back and shook his head no.
“Oh and hide your shame for Christ sake,” she said pointing to a pile of clothes behind the tree.
“I just had to absolve our new friend here from a blood influence. Apparently she is still human enough for that trick to work on her.”
“Shit! I should have seen it. I’m so stupid. But who?” Gavin was staring at me now as he quickly dressed.
“Was there any vampire other than Gavin and myself that you spent time with alone, even if it was very brief, in the last day or so?”
“Not really, well I talked to Mariah for a few minutes after the council meeting but Gavin came along a few seconds later.”
“Mariah?” Gavin was seething.
“That’s all she would have needed,” Holly concluded. “Don’t spend any time around her by yourself. I have to go find my husband,” she said politely giving us an opportunity to make up.
“I’m sorry,” I said trying to hold back tears. It wasn’t working.
“No, you listen. I’m the one who should be sorry. You were acting very strange and it didn’t even occur to me that you might have been manipulated. I didn’t figure anyone here would try to hurt you that way, but I guess I should have known. First James and now this, I’m not proving to be a very good guardian.”
“Stop it,” I said. He came toward me slowly; wanting to touch me but not sure if it would be ok. I opened my arms to him and he held me. “I don’t know how you can forgive me for the things I said.”
“I would forgive you anything.” Holly was right.
“Why would Mariah do that?”
“Well, there’s one possible answer I can think of. I want to talk to Angus.”
“What about the training? We should wait until afterward.”
“You’re right. As soon as everyone goes home we will find him and let him know. I’m sure he’ll want to take some action.” Gavin bit his lip, “I don’t suppose you’d want to tell him about James?”
“No.”
“What do you plan to do? Do you still want to kill him yourself?”
“Yes, when the time comes.”
“Well he’s wronged you and it’s your vengeance to seek. It would
be easier if you’d let me help you though.”
“It doesn’t go against all of these crazy vampire rules to kill him?”
“Not after what he did. He took your blood, amongst other things, against your will. You are perfectly within your rights to torture him if you wish.”
“Good, then torture is what he’ll get. Your death for him today would have been too quick I think.”
“You’re probably right. I’d stake him right now if I could.”
Soon enough night came and we gathered with everyone else who was going to fight on the grounds. There were only forty of us. Lots of vampires were living out in the world, and of course, they couldn’t be involved. If we were unlucky enough to have a lot of casualties that would be a lot of deaths for the community.
One who insisted on fighting however was Gavin’s father. He had known Samuel before he was exiled and always felt a personal betrayal over the way things had transpired.
Samuel had promised John he’d give up the idea of on open hunting ground, but had lied to him. John had even gone to Angus and tried to make peace between them.
Angus listened to John and as a result was almost staked by Samuel. John was bent on the idea of revenge and I couldn’t say I blamed him. Up until recently I had never known how strong the desire for revenge can be, in fact, I frequently looked down on people who sought it out. Now, however, I knew the need all too well and would soon be seeking revenge against John’s own son.
The vampires from the other communities did not have pendants to enter our sanctuary so one by one our little group took turns escorting them in. The first to arrive was the group from St.Peters. There were more of them than I had expected; about twenty in all.
Some of them were known to me, but most were not. Three, I had gone to school with and upon greeting them, they advised me they were actually much older than the teenagers they had portrayed themselves as years before. Malcolm also came over to greet us. Gavin introduced him to me. Thankfully he acted like we’d never met.
The next group in was from Johnstown. Johnstown was a smaller community, similar to Soldiers Cove and so I was not surprised to see that only ten showed up from there, none of whom I knew. We exchanged greetings with them as well. Apparently they were all very old vampires, of course young physically, but they had been in their sanctuary for a long time and were a tad reclusive.
The Vampires of Soldiers Cove Page 16