“Talk to me. What’s wrong? Don’t you like our plan? There’s still time to change it if you disagree,” I say.
She gives me a mirthless smile, one devoid of any feelings. It gives me the impression that I have no clue what I’m saying. I don’t like that expression.
“It isn’t about the plan, Jay. It’s about us. I...I don’t where to start from,” she says.
My heart stops for a moment. I freeze in place and can’t think clearly. Is she trying to break up with me? To push me away? But, why? We’re so good together. Our sex is perfect, the passion between us is strong. I don’t understand what’s going on in her mind right now.
And that pisses me off.
I stand up and move away from her. I’m not sure I want to be sitting next to her right now. I take a deep breath and lean against the door frame.
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so determined to always fuck everything up? We’re so good together! I fucking trust you now, more than anyone in this world. Isn’t that what you wanted all this time?”
I’m angry; anger makes me lose control of my body and right now I don’t want Dark Jay coming out of its hiding. I can feel him stir in there, waiting for the right moment to shatter my defenses. And Eladia is doing a fine job helping him.
“It has been over a year since we last met, Jay. You can’t blame me for having second thoughts. You’ve...changed. You’re not the same man I fell in love with. I don’t know what I want anymore. I’m happy you trust me, but…,” she says.
“But? But what? So now I’m the one that isn’t good enough for you? You didn’t seem to have a problem last night or the night before when I was sticking my dick inside you. Is that what I am to you? A toy you can play with?”
Words come out of my mouth all by themselves. I’m not sure who am I anymore, what I’m saying. I just want to make her feel shitty, the same way she makes me feel right now.
“It’s not like that, Jay. You know that all the moments we shared were real. But...but I think I’ve fallen for someone else.”
Numbness quickly replaces anger in my body. I can’t talk anymore. I can’t think straight. I stand still, glancing at her, through her, above her, below her. I’m trying to understand the subtext of this conversation, but I’m not sure I get it.
“Are you fucking with me, Eladia? Did Pyro make you say all these nonsense? Maybe one of the siblings?”
She shakes her head. I stride towards her, grab her by the shoulders and shake her.
“Please! Tell me it was one of them. I will understand, I promise. I won’t get mad. Just please, tell me that this is a joke.”
I don’t recognize myself. Every minute of my previous life passes through my head, and I don’t remember ever feeling this way. I’ve made a fool of myself in front of a woman, and I can’t stop it.
Tears run down her face. “I’m in love with your other self, your dark self. At least...at least that is what I think I’m feeling. I just want to talk to him for five minutes, to clear things out and then...”
I release her and hurry into the bathroom. I watch myself in the mirror as I wash my face. I see an old man with black hair and purple eyes; a tired, fool man. I’m trying to see what’s wrong with me for believing that someone could have fallen in love with a monster like me, an alien whose people are long dead.
But, I can’t find an excuse.
Her words echo in my head so loudly that I lose the sense of time. Maybe an hour has passed or just a second; I don’t know how long it has been, but I find myself changing into my other self. I see the black matter cover the tips of my hands. I knew that someday I would have to use him to help me, but never in that way. Now, giving him control like that, I know it’s the last time.
Esuh of the Two Faces don’t cry; I’m sure of that now. Still, just before the dark matter engulfs me with its madness, I see one sparkling tear shyly leave my eye. Maybe I don’t know anything about the Esuh after all
Chapter Sixty
Eladia
Ten minutes have passed since Jay got in the bathroom. I’ve never seen him look like that, begging for a second chance, acting crazy. I don’t want to see him suffer for me again. And what it truly makes this situation worse is that I feel relieved for telling all these things to him, to let the truth pour out of my soul like that.
Silver and Zan were right. No more lies. If he decides that he doesn’t want to change, then I’ll learn to live with that. Jay is not bad, not at all. He can be unpredictable and adventurous...just not like his other self. And that’s what makes all this situation twisted. I want the best of both worlds, but if I can’t have that, then I choose the one that I know I’ll have more fun with.
Dark Jay makes me laugh, feel good about myself and gives me a reason to want to come back. Silver Jay is the calm power, the man that will be there even in the boring days, the logic behind passion.
It would be great if these two could truly be one, but I have long given up on that notion. Jay is who he is; the same thing applies to his other self. They both have their ups and downs, and I’m here fucking them up both.
Suddenly, the bathroom door opens. I get on my feet and head there. “Jay, I...” I start saying, meaning to apologize, when I see him.
“I heard you’ve been looking for me,” Dark Jay says.
I stop in my tracks and check him from head to toes, not believing that Jay would go so far just to please me. He must really love me after all, and I chose his darker self to repay him for that.
Unfortunately, love doesn’t work like that.
“Yeah, that’s true,” I reply, trying my best not to start giggling like an infatuated teenager.
“Well, here I am honey. I’m all yours now,” he says, casting a wide grin at me.
Seeing him act like that, like a shameless child happy just to be alive and well, it makes me already feel better for choosing him over Silver Jay. He has that strange effect on me, a kind of lure that makes me want to tear his clothes apart and toss him on the bed just by seeing him.
A moment ago, I wasn’t in the mood for sex, but now, seeing him examine my body with that lustful look of his, strange thoughts invade my mind.
“I’m sure. Before that, though, there’s something we have to discuss,” I say, doing my best not to take off my clothes right now.
“Okay. Speak. What do you want? Do you want me to get down on you first or maybe you want me to use my magic fingers to stir up your libido?” he says and winks at me while smiling.
Jay and his dirty jokes. Well, he’s a work in progress after all. Maybe after some time, he won’t talk like that all the time.
“No. Not that. I have to know. What are your feelings towards me? What do you see when you’re looking at me?”
He stops smiling; I’m not used to his face being serious like that. Even when he’s slaughtering his enemies, he does it with an impish smile and devilishly, red eyes.
“I know it must have been difficult for you to choose me, the bad wolf, over my other self. I wish I could promise you that I’ll be as good as him. A gentleman, or a kind man, or fuck, everything you want me to be. But my whole existence relies upon killing, pillaging, and challenging people stronger than me. I love you, Eladia, I really do. And that won’t change. But don’t make me change to fit you better or you might end up not loving me back.”
When he stops, I’m standing there, gawping at him, fighting the impulse to applaud him. Hell, he’s right. I fell in love with him not because he’s unpredictable and adventurous. He’s the only man that doesn’t need to change to make me like him. And that turns me on. It really makes me want to ride him here, on the spot.
Now I’m the one having dirty thoughts all the time. God, I have to get my act together. I was just having sex with his other self all day yesterday, and the day before that. I should have been satisfied by now.
“You’re awfully quiet. Did I pass the test little lady or not?” he says as he sits next to me.
He
’s starting to caress my bare hand with his finger, touching my skin, electrifying my whole existence with his smooth aura. He moves his finger on my shoulder and then on my face. He touches my cheeks, my nose and then heads straight for my mouth. I’m breathing slowly, trying to hold back, but I can’t.
My mouth is half open; he uses his finger to invade it. I start licking it, sucking it in, playing with it. Soon, I can see him laughing, probably being ticklish or something, but I continue. I grab his hand and make him put another finger in there. I start sucking them both and he starts fucking my mouth with his hand. He does it subtly, slowly, and yet, it gets me horny in mere moments.
“I see you learned some new tricks,” he comments.
I stop licking his fingers to laugh it off.
“You know you’re a dumbass, right?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ve been told the same thing times and times again. Now, you didn’t tell me. Did I pass the test?”
I get on my knees and look him on the face. “I don’t know. What do you think?”
I use my hands to lower the zip of his pants. He doesn’t wear anything below; he’s naked, his dick rock hard, pointing straight to my mouth.
Without hesitating, and without waiting for him to get totally naked, I put his dick in my mouth. He tastes the same but somehow feels different. Jay now pushes his cock deep into my mouth, making me choke once. It doesn’t matter, though. The only thing that does matter is seeing him mutter the word “yes” again and again, to moan behind his teeth lost in a whirl of lewdness.
We’re still fully clothed, but I can’t take this anymore. I want him to fuck me. I get on my feet and get naked in front of him, slowly taking my clothes off. He does the same, removing his pants to release his dick from his tight pants. His muscles swell when he grabs me and tosses me on the bed.
“I see you want me to get inside you,” he says, using his fingers to feel my wet pussy. Just his finger touching me would’ve been enough, but I want to feel the whole of him inside me.
“I’ve been dreaming about this so hard,” Jay says, whispering. He slowly thrusts his dick into my vagina. I can feel his fingers while he’s trying to find my hole by caressing me. “You’re so fucking hot. I want to tear you apart.”
And then he gets inside me. I’m not able to talk anymore. I’m just trying to breathe. If I say anything, I will lose control and cum. He’s moving slowly at first, trying to get used to my rhythm, but soon, he’s picking up his pace.
He’s fucking me fast and hard, using every last bit of his strength to push his dick inside. I’m in pain sometimes, but I quickly forget about it. At that time, just pushing his dick further in, I feel my whole body jolt from the tension, and I open my mouth to moan only for him to close it with his free hand. I cum many times in a row after that, but still, if he doesn’t stop, I’ll keep on coming.
“Yes...yes...please...don’t stop...” I say, moaning in the pauses between the words.
Something in my voice must have aroused him. I keep my eyes closed, but I have my hands on his ass. I push him deeper every time he thrusts, feeling his muscles tightening and then relaxing. And then, I feel him thrust slowly, more rhythmically. He’s close.
“I’m coming...” he says in a deep, hoarse voice. “I’m coming...” he says and then stays still, shooting his cum inside me.
He slowly pulls out and lies next to me. We don’t speak for a while, but we don’t have to. I’m just looking at him, his dick still hard, panting. Just watching his glistening body, it makes me horny again. I’m not sure what I’ll do with him, but I also know one thing. At this moment I know that I’ve made the right choice.
“So, I thought you and I were constantly fucking all these days. What happened? Maybe the other Jay didn’t satisfy you that much after all,” he says and winks at me.
Remember Eladia, that’s the reason you fell for him. He doesn’t mince his words. He’s just saying what’s in his mind.
“No, not at all. It’s just a different thing, having sex with you and having sex with...you.” That last part makes both of us laugh.
“Yeah, I’m sure. But...still...I have no fucking idea why you chose me over him. I thought you were more into him,” he says.
“Well, I thought the same thing, too. But Jay can be a very difficult person sometimes. You, on the other hand, you’re easier to talk to and funnier. It’s just a matter of perspective,” I say.
Yeah, that’s exactly what it is. A matter of perspective. They’re different sides of the same coin. And I think I like this side better.
“Yeah, that sounds about right. Nevertheless, I’m gonna go get a shower. Do you care to join me?” he says and leaves the bedroom before I reply to him.
I stand still for a moment, trying to find a reason for everything that happened between us, but I can’t. I’m just madly in love with him. I close my eyes and try to find a logical explanation, but the only thing I do is feel sleepy. Still, the idea of us having a shower together puts renewed energy in my veins.
I quickly follow him in the bathroom.
Chapter Sixty-One
Jay
Time flew by since the night my buddy Jay set me free. I’m not sure who I must thank for this outcome, but right now, I’m thanking Eladia every day. He seems to like it very much, so why stop? My other self wouldn’t.
Silver Jay hasn’t said a thing since he gave control to me. I don’t think I’ll give this body back to him anytime soon, but I’ll make sure he has all the fun of the world while in there. It wasn’t an easy thing getting out of that prison, especially when you’re being kept in there by a half-assed man like the mighty Prime Officer Jasih.
Life has been kind to me the last four days. Fucking Eladia the nights, talking with the rest of the crew the days, it’s certainly fun to not sleep all day. On the other hand, walking, talking, and fucking has started taking its toll on me. I’m not sure why I feel tired all the time since I make sure to have over eight hours of sleep every day. Maybe it’s my body trying to keep up with the new changes.
We’re in orbit around Yaerus now. This means that I’m almost over with that bullshit of a mission that I have to complete to free myself of this annoying cube. We’re inside the space shuttle, trying to sneak into the planet without the Allied powers realizing what’s going on. The place is cramped up with security vehicles and Class 5 military spaceships, and honestly, I don’t care. I just want to fart really bad since we left.
I smile at myself. It’s really invigorating thinking like that. It has been over a year since the last time I was able to walk free, and I’m going to relish every moment of it.
“We’re entering into the atmosphere. Get ready for some serious turbulence,” the android says.
We all get tied in our seats for extra safety. It certainly won’t be a stroll in the park, but after so many thousands of years and civilizations passing, someone could have come up with a better way to make this fucking thing smoother.
The shuttle starts shaking uncontrollably, and I have to grab my safety belt to stay firm in my position. We go through the first part of the entry to the atmosphere successfully, but now the hard part is starting.
Suddenly, a flash of light envelops the inside of the shuttle. The turbulence has stopped, but I still feel dizzy and disoriented. I thought that this shit wasn’t hard.
The light gets stronger with every passing second until I realize that it’s not coming from outside, but instead, from inside my pocket.
Be careful. You’re getting into a vision, Silver Jay suddenly says after many days of staying silent.
I close my eyes only for a moment. I feel light like I’m floating away from my body. When I open my eyes again and see that I’m actually flying above the dark figure of a planet, I realize that Jay was right. This is a vision.
“Hello? Is anybody here?” I yell, but my voice vanishes in the echo.
At first, it seems like I’m just floating in midair but soon I realize that I’m act
ually moving towards the dark planet, fast. There is no trace of light anywhere. Not even the stars are strong enough to shed any of their light on me. It’s just me and the mystery planet.
That’s before a small rectangle in the distance lights up before me. I’m heading straight for that part.
It doesn’t take me long to fly there, but when I do, there is something familiar about this place. It isn’t the usual vision with the girl jumping from the building, but it’s a familiar place nonetheless.
All the buildings around me seem hazy, and the only thing that makes sense is to follow the smoke coming from behind one of the gigantic structures.
Alien Romance Box Set: Alien Former: Sci-Fi Alien Romance (Books 1-5) Page 69