“I was born before that. Do you know how I happened to arrive?”
“Yeah, I do.” She took another sip of her wine and refilled Noel’s, but not her own glass. “I found out all about you last summer.”
“Last summer? Why last summer?”
“She didn’t tell me or anybody else that I know of about you until she got sick.”
Surprised and a little troubled by this news, Noel said, “I wonder why?”
“If you knew Max, you wouldn’t be too surprised. She didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the past. She didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the future, either. But when she got sick, she changed. She talked about her past constantly. I think it had always weighed on her mind that you were out there, but if I had to guess her motivation for not trying to find you, I’d say she was afraid.”
“Afraid? Afraid of finding the baby she gave away?” Her voice was a little louder and her cheeks had begun to color. She consciously tried not to let her contempt show, but it was hard work.
Toni looked tentative, but she continued. “I think that’s the right word. Max wasn’t very good at talking about her feelings. She liked to stick to facts. She’d only been in San Diego a short while when she and some of her friends met some sailors from the Swedish Navy. Max was a pretty good drinker when I knew her, but she must not have been when she was a young woman.”
“So I’m the result of the wrong ship being in the right port?”
“Something like that,” Toni allowed. “She didn’t know anything except the ship the guy was on and his first name, but she didn’t blame him for what happened. She wasn’t the type to blame other people for her own indiscretions.” Noel visibly winced at the word, and Toni corrected herself. “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. But she knew she didn’t want to have kids, and she didn’t think it was fair to abort you. So she had you and saw you for just a minute or two. She told me you had the prettiest blonde fuzz and blue eyes that she’d ever seen.” Even though it was a story about Noel, Toni was the one who started to sniff away tears. “I’m such a sucker for a sob story,” she said, her cheeks turning pink as she let out an embarrassed laugh.
Noel’s heartstrings tugged at the sight of Toni’s tear-streaked face. She was tempted to brush the tears away with a finger, but the first real facts she’d ever heard about her genetic father overtook her more tender instincts. “Do you remember the guy’s name?”
“Yeah. It was Stefan. Max asked me if I thought it was possible that your parents had named you Stephanie. She thought that would’ve been cool.”
“Huh.” She sat completely still, letting the facts merge with the emotions that roiled her stomach. When she spoke again she felt strangely resolved, knowing the answer to her question before she asked it. “So, she didn’t regret giving me up for adoption?”
“No, she didn’t. She wasn’t very religious, but she thought abortion was wrong. I don’t think she thought it was a sin as much as it was too easy a way out. She believed in facing up to your responsibilities, and she thought that giving birth to you was an important one.”
Offput at the idea of being an obligation, Noel soldiered on. “I assume she didn’t have any other children?”
“No, just you. Right after you were born she joined the Navy. I always thought she might have wanted to…” She stopped, shifting her eyes nervously.
“I get it. She wanted to start a new life and forget about me. I just assume the Navy would be a good place to meet a husband.”
“I knew her for twenty years, and she never had a man in her life. She always talked about how much she wanted one, but I don’t know if she honestly did or not.”
“What do you mean?”
“I always thought she might be gay. But that’s just a guess. If she was, I don’t think she ever acted on it. But she seemed a lot more comfortable around women than she did around men.” Toni laughed. “Of course, it might be that she had her fill of men when she was in the Navy.”
“This has been…interesting,” Noel said, not having a better word for it. “I’m glad we talked about it.”
“Had enough?”
Noel smiled and nodded. “I think I need to digest what I’ve just learned. So let’s talk about you.”
“Me? I’m boring.”
“You don’t seem boring to me. Actually, I’ve wondered why you’re not with someone.”
Toni made a face and shrugged. “I’m not particularly good at being in a relationship. I seem to do better on my own.”
“Have you been in many?”
“A couple, and my ex-lovers agree that I suck at it.” She laughed, not seeming embarrassed in the least.
“So you’re happy with your status quo?”
A loud siren startled them both, but Toni reacted faster than Noel did. She handed Noel the wine bottle and her glass, and started running for her truck. “Gotta go,” she called over her shoulder.
“Gotta go where?” Noel stood and stared, stunned at Toni’s abrupt departure.
“Fire alarm. I’m on the force.” She jumped into her truck and roared away, leaving a weak-kneed Noel to contemplate getting into her own car to follow along to get a glimpse of Toni in a uniform. Was there no end to the surprises that made her more and more attractive?
***
The next afternoon, Noel reached Toni on her cell. “Hi,” she said when Toni answered. “I was just calling to check up on you.”
“What do you know that I don’t?” Toni answered, sounding happy and relaxed.
“Oh. I meant because you raced off last night. I’ve never known a fire fighter, and I found myself wondering about you all day. That’s a dangerous line of work.”
“It can be. But most of our calls are for minor stuff. Last night was just a fire someone started in a trash can on the beach. Not very exciting. I’m sorry I ran out on you, though. I should’ve called when I got home.”
“No problem. Like I said, I was just checking.” She desperately wanted to ask Toni to come by again or to meet her somewhere, but she didn’t have the courage.
“That’s sweet of you. We’ll have to get together again and finish off that wine.”
“Anytime,” Noel said, hoping Toni suggested the next five minutes.
“I’ll call you. Or maybe I’ll just drop by again. You didn’t mind that, did you?”
“No, I like surprises.” She said that even though she didn’t like them in the least, but having Toni show up at her door was a surprise she was willing to learn to like.
“That’s good, because there’s nothing I like more than being extemporaneous.”
When Noel hung up, she stared blankly at the phone for a few moments, thinking that she’d be well served by being more extemporaneous herself. But she knew that there was nothing she liked more than a firm schedule.
***
At around nine o’clock that night, Noel found herself with a surprising supply of energy. She’d been going to bed by ten every night, but it was a lovely evening, and there were a lot of people out. Oddly, she felt like a child who wasn’t allowed to go out on a school night, so the thrill of doing something a little wrong prodded her to act. She got up and checked herself in the mirror, nodding in partial satisfaction at her look. She’d had her hair up in a ponytail all day, and she took the band off and ran her hands through it, pleased with the outcome.
It was a bit of a walk, but she took off to get an ice cream, something that everyone in Rehoboth seemed to do every night. As always, she had her ear buds in and was listening to music. There were several ice cream places in town, but one of them always had a long line. Guessing that people wouldn’t wait for something that wasn’t superior, she waited and was finally served a fantastic mint chip cone.
It was still warm out, but not warm enough to make her eat the ice cream as quickly as she did. That was due only to the taste. She was concentrating so hard on not losing a drop that she almost didn’t see her favorite firefighter.
&
nbsp; Toni was leaning against a building that housed what must have been a very popular gay and lesbian hang out. A pretty young woman was leaning against her and Toni was giving her a dose of undivided attention, as she was wont to do, so she didn’t see Noel staring at her. But stare she did—boldly.
Noel couldn’t see the young woman very well because her back was to the street. But she got a clear message about the nature of their relationship from the presence of Toni’s hands on the young woman’s ass. Noel felt her body heat flare. There was something very erotic about the way Toni looked at the woman, not to mention the way she touched her. It was those dark, intense eyes, fiery even from a distance, that made her pulse pound harder. But it was fairly clear that Noel was not going to be the one who captured Toni’s attention this night, and her chest ached at that fact.
***
Noel was a little down the next day, even though she knew she had no reason to be. She had already cleaned the kitchen after breakfast and was tiptoeing back in to get a cool drink when she heard a few of her guests in the parlor. They were trying to be quiet, but one of the women had a voice that carried, and what she said caught Noel’s attention.
“I’m not sure we’re gonna be back next year,” the woman whispered loudly. “I still like The Sandpiper, but it just doesn’t feel as friendly as it did when Max was here. I’m going to search around and see if I can find a place where I’ll meet more people.”
“Yeah,” another woman agreed. “Max always made sure that everybody who stayed here knew each other. My girlfriend and I would be walking out the door to dinner and Max would stick us with somebody who didn’t have any friends.” She laughed. “Maybe I don’t miss that part.”
“It’s still nice here, but it’s just not homey.”
Noel hated to eavesdrop, but even more than that, she hated what she was hearing. She was trying as hard as she could, but she knew she wasn’t carrying this off. Dejectedly, she snuck out the back door and spent a long time picking faded blossoms from the arbor.
***
As the day went on, the weather went south. By four o’clock it was overcast and gray. Noel’s mood hadn’t improved, and she considered calling some of her friends from Baltimore and seeing if she could arrange to meet them halfway for dinner. But she knew she wouldn’t be very good company, so she decided to just get some air before it started to rain.
She walked down to the beach and started off on a long stroll. To her surprise, the more she walked the better she felt. There was something tranquilizing about the ocean and she decided she wouldn’t let another day pass without a visit. It was after six when she found herself in a diner near the boardwalk. She was just about to order when Toni sat down at the stool next to her at the counter. “Mind some company?”
“No, of course not. I’m always happy to have company.”
Toni cocked her head and looked at her quizzically for a second. “Is that true? I haven’t been able to figure you out yet. I keep thinking that you might like a lot of time alone.”
“I like my own company. That’s true. But I’m pretty social.”
“I guess I just thought you’d come down to Jackie’s or give me or Heidi a call if you wanted to hang out.”
“I know I should do that.” She shrugged. “I just don’t think of it, and then it seems too late in the day.” She wasn’t about to admit that she was too shy to make a call to either of them, nor that she was mooning over Toni’s recent hook-up.
Toni gave her a luminous smile. “Well then, I’ll just have to pursue you a little more doggedly.”
“I don’t think anyone would honestly say she didn’t at least secretly like to be pursued,” Noel said, trying not to look too coquettish. She wasn’t crazy about being another notch on Toni’s likely well-worn belt, but sometimes a woman had to swallow her pride.
***
After they finished their sandwiches, Toni said, “Would you like to see where the tourists hang out?”
“Sure. I’m up for anything.”
Toni looked at her for a few moments, then grinned. “With that attitude, you sound like a tourist.”
“I’m not that bad. It’s not like I’m doing beer bongs on the beach. Yet,” she added. They started to walk down the street, and Noel surprised herself by saying, “I saw you last night.”
Toni’s head swiveled sharply. “When?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe ten o’clock?”
Toni made a guilty face. “Was I alone?”
“Not a bit.”
“Was I with my new friend Amy? About this tall?” She said, holding her hand up to shoulder height.
Her smile was teasing when Noel said, “It was hard to tell. When I saw you your friend wasn’t standing up fully.”
Looking shocked, Toni said, “Were you looking in my windows?”
Noel slapped at her weakly. “Of course not. I didn’t say you were horizontal, just that she wasn’t standing up. She was leaning against you, and you were leaning against a building.”
“Whew!” Dramatically, Toni ran her hand across her forehead. “It coulda been worse.”
“You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you,” Noel said, finding herself charmed by Toni’s cavalier attitude.
“Whenever I have the chance.”
***
Noel wasn’t surprised that they wound up in front of the bar that she had seen Toni at the night before. It was early, but there was a slow, steady stream of people heading into the club. Toni didn’t seem to know the people at the door, and Noel smiled at her when Toni pulled her wallet out of her jeans and paid the cover charge for both of them.
The room was good-sized, and not very crowded, despite the way it’d looked from the outside. Toni guided Noel to a table at the far corner of the room and said, “The bartenders here don’t know what they’re doing, and their wine would take the varnish off this table. So I’d recommend a simple mixed drink or a beer.”
“Think they can handle a cranberry and vodka?”
“We’ll find out,” Toni said conspiratorially. “I’ll order two just to test them.”
She returned in a few minutes. Noel had watched her from the moment she’d left the table, surprised that Toni didn’t seem to know anyone. “Well, here goes,” Toni said, eyes wide as she took her first sip. “Ahh. Success.”
“This isn’t bad at all. Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
“So, this is the tourist trap, huh? Was Amy a tourist?”
“Yep. She’s probably back in Washington now. Hey,” she said, smiling brightly. “Maybe you could look her up. You live close, right?”
“Thanks so much,” Noel said, wrinkling her nose. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the offer, even though I don’t, but I think I can find my own tramps…I mean dates.”
Toni put her hand over her heart. “How dare you call a woman a tramp just because she blows into town one afternoon, picks up the local handywoman, screws the socks off her, and takes off before they exchange last names? That’s very judgmental of you.”
“I meant you,” Noel said, giggling at Toni’s shocked expression.
“I’m just friendly. I’m part of a committee designed to welcome strangers.” She took a sip of her drink, eyeing Noel over the rim of her glass. “How about you? Are you planning on making any ‘friends’ while you’re here?”
“One never knows. That was the last thing on my mind when I first got here, but I think I might be changing my view. A summer fling might be just the thing.”
“Ahh. I love a good summer fling.” Toni looked like she was reminiscing about a favorite song.
“Given what you just told me, a fling might be kind of long term for you.”
“Don’t get the wrong idea about me. Just because I don’t want to eat at the same restaurant every night doesn’t mean I don’t like to go to a good place repeatedly.” She leaned closer and spoke almost directly into Noel’s ear. “When I find something tasty, I want it again and again. I can
be a real glutton.”
Toni pulled back and Noel knew she must look like she was going to jump into her lap. It was a fight to compose herself and try to adopt a more casual mien.
“How about you, Noel? You said something one of the first times we talked about liking sex more than you liked women, or something like that. I’m not sure what it was, but it caught my attention.”
“Oh, I was probably just complaining about my ex. I had decided that women just weren’t worth the trouble. I kept thinking that what I missed was the fun part.”
“Versus…what? The relationship part?”
“Yeah. It’s been a very long time since I was just looking for fun.”
“It’s been hours for me,” Toni said, grinning sexily.
“It’s getting crowded in here,” Noel said, feeling like she had to change the subject or slide onto Toni’s lap.
“Yeah, it is. Wanna dance before it gets too crowded?”
“Dance?” Noel asked, her eyes bright. “I love to dance. My ex hated it, so I hardly ever got to.”
“There are few things better than dancing,” Toni said. “Actually, almost nothing that I can think of that’s vertical.” She took Noel’s hand and started to lead her to the dance floor. Noel held on loosely, allowing herself to feel the callused skin on Toni’s strong hand.
As soon as they found a spot, Toni put one hand on Noel’s waist and clasped her hand. Toni moved very smoothly. She didn’t do anything professional or attention grabbing, she just led Noel around in a small circle, moving with the beat of the music.
The two women were roughly the same height, especially now that it was summer and Toni didn’t wear her boots. Their bodies pressed against one another repeatedly, each bit of contact making Noel’s temperature rise. They danced for a long time, through all sorts of music. Oddly, they didn’t talk at all, but Noel didn’t feel any need to. She was just in the moment, letting Toni lead her around the dance floor, feeling good to be in her own skin. Something that she hadn’t felt for quite a few months after her breakup.
Susan X. Meagher - The Legacy Page 6