“Then you may light a fire in the hearth. It will be a cold night. If anyone or anything comes by, I will come in and wake you,” Ardie tells us. “And I’m sure Nick will be far more honorable than he was this afternoon,” Ardie adds, raising an eyebrow.
“As am I,” I say, and Ardie nods, stepping back outside for the evening.
Nick takes a few logs, puts them into the tiny hearth, and starts a fire. It gives a little warmth, but not much. Toto curls up right in front.
“Please, take the bed of leaves, for it is far more comfortable than the hard floor alone,” he tells me.
“Thank you,” I say and lie down on the bed of leaves in the corner. He takes off his armor and underneath he wears black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. He pulls off the shirt and hands it over to me.
“Put this on. It is much warmer than the half shirt you wear,” he says, and I realize my shirt that ties at my waist must shock him. Everyone dresses in clothes that look like they’re from the eighteen hundreds here.
“But you’ll freeze,” I say.
“No, you will. I’ll sleep here, closer to the fire,” he says and lies down next to Toto on the floor.
“No, I can’t take this from you.”
“You will,” he insists.
“Why are you being so kind and selfless?” I ask him, very wary of his motives.
“Just take it. Although I may be heartless, I can be a gentleman,” he commands.
“Thank you,” I acquiesce, and put his shirt on over my own.
I lie down on his bed of leaves, in his shirt, and now I feel bad for being hard on him. He is trying.
“I appreciate it,” I say. “And what you did was a dirty trick, but you’re right, I could have said no.”
“Don’t—”
“No, I thought I was taking advantage of you. I can admit that. But I figured you asked for it so… I guess I shouldn’t be so upset. Maybe we can start fresh.”
“Please know I am sorry.”
“I appreciate you saying so, and giving me your bed, and the shirt off your back on such a cold night. I wish…” I say and stop.
What I wish is that it hadn’t happened. But I wish it because he’s so gorgeous and he looks so good with no shirt on. He could see I find him attractive and he took advantage. I guess I was obvious. And I’m embarrassed, because he told me he was heartless, and I saw what I wanted to see. The truth, if I’m being honest with myself, is that I wish he liked me. But he’s from a different world where life is fleeting, and I do not understand what that is like. I have no clue what it’s like to live your life as though each moment may be your last, and I understand why he wants to go to the City of Emeralds so that can change. I can appreciate that. And I’m leaving. It’s not like either of us could or should get involved. Not that he would want to. Looking the way he does, he could have any girl he wanted, and does. It was stupid of me to think otherwise.
“What do you wish?” he asks me.
“Nothing,” I say and roll over, my back to the room. I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I wake up to him shaking me and find I’m shivering. It’s freezing cold.
“You are trembling from the cold. Move over by the fire,” he says.
“A-a-a-a-a-l-l-l-right-t-t-t,” I say, shuddering, so cold.
I get up and move to where Toto is. I wrap myself around him and he snuggles into me.
“Please do not take offense, but it is for your own good,” Nick says and wraps his shirtless body around mine, spooning me, and I am much warmer, but he must be freezing.
“You m-m-m-must be s-s-s-s-o-o-o c-c-c-c-cold,” I say shivering.
“I have been by the fire, I am fine,” he says and snuggles into me.
I should be mad or wary of him, but I’m freezing and I’m sure he is too, even if he won’t admit it.
“Don’t g-g-get a-a-n-n-y fun-n-n-ny id-d-d-deas.”
“Do not worry, Dorothy. I have learned my lesson,” he murmurs in my ear. “Go back to sleep,” he says as he nuzzles his face into the back of my neck.
Because I’m so much warmer than I was, when I hear him smell my hair, I let it go. As I drift back to sleep far more comfortable than before, I wish I could make-out with him, knowing I’d be a lot warmer a lot quicker if I did, but I can’t. My pride won’t dare let me. And that’s a good thing, because this heartless Adonis wrapped around me will only hurt me.
7
The Company of Zombies
A fragment of light falls through the cloudy glass of the egress window, and I wake to find myself wrapped in him. Somehow, Toto has gotten outside. I assume he is hunting with Ardie. Nick is fast asleep, so I allow myself a moment to enjoy being snuggled into his strong arms, and I bask in the feel of his hard chest and rippling abdomen pressed against my back. Low burning embers glimmer in the hearth where a blazing fire burned hours ago, and as I run my fingertips over the cold skin on his forearms, guilt pangs in my chest for taking his shirt. As I try to wriggle away to take it off and drape over him, he holds me tighter. A few still moments pass before I try to take my arms out of the sleeves again, but he hugs me to him, refusing to let me go.
“What are you doing?” he asks, his eyes still closed.
“You’re freezing, so I was trying to give you your shirt back.”
“Stop. The sun has not risen yet and you need your rest. It’s a long journey,” he says, and I let out a sigh, feeling terrible. “Dorothy, I am fine. Your warm body is keeping me warm.”
“Nick, please let me give it back.”
“No,” he insists, so I turn around to face him.
“Fine, then at least let me do this,” I say and put my arms around him instead, embracing him. He pulls me in tight, and it’s nice. It makes me wish he wasn’t a jerk.
The smells of the forest fill my senses as my face nuzzles into his neck, and I take a deep breath, savoring the scent of him. Half asleep, he caresses my hair in unconscious, light strokes, and his heart pounds, racing in his chest, proving he has one after all.
Rough, calloused fingertips graze my spine before finding the small of my back. Chest to chest he presses me to him in a sad embrace, and I reciprocate his hug, but I don’t know why after yesterday. Maybe because it seems like he needs it. It must be so hard with no family at all, living here alone, spending all his time fighting vampires and night creatures, always afraid for his life. He’s only nineteen, and he has already had to kill his own dad and girlfriend. The thought of what he’s been through saddens me, and I grieve for him. With a heart so broken, he believes he doesn’t even have one anymore. What it must be like for him.
Pity pervades me, and I find my hand cradling the back of his head. A deep breath fills his chest and he cuddles into me as it releases. Sincere human contact must be a rarity for him. The occasional pretty girl he coaxes into bed using his good looks and whatever lies necessary seem to be the only exceptions. From what I hear, there are guys who say whatever they can to get a girl into bed, and I suspect all girls hope it’s different with them, that guys are honest with them, even though we all know some guys lie to get us to do things with them we wouldn’t otherwise do. This moment is different though. I can see why he wants to go with us. This life is not good for anyone. He needs people to make healthy connections with. He needs a chance to live a somewhat normal life.
“Things will get better when we get to the City of Emeralds,” I whisper, and he pulls back and looks at me, perhaps surprised I might have known what he was thinking. Or I could be reading into things.
“You do give me hope, Dorothy,” he says with sadness in his eyes, so I smile at him.
As he looks into my eyes, at my face, I can tell he wants to kiss me, and even though I kind of want him to, I know he won’t. Not after yesterday.
“Kansas—do you like it?” he asks me.
“It’s all right.”
“Must you go?”
“Yeah, my family thinks I’m dead, and I need them to know I�
�m alive.”
“Perhaps you might return? Once you let them know you are alive.”
“There’s no reason for me to stay here. This place is dangerous, and I have no one here, no family. The only people I know are Ardie and you, and General Boq, but that’s it.”
“How do you know the General?”
“He threw me a party, and I stayed with him my first night here.”
“The General was Nimmie Amee’s uncle.”
“Oh,” I say. “You must miss her a lot.”
“No, I told you, I’m heartless.”
“But you’re not.”
“I am.”
“No, you’re not. I can feel it beating in your chest.”
“Heartless means unfeeling, cold. It is an expression.”
“I know what it means. What I mean is that you choose to be this way, and I think it’s a defense mechanism. If you care for something or someone, it gets taken from you,” I say and he says nothing, but his silence says it all. “You are always alone, aren’t you?”
“Most of the time I am. Not always.”
“You mean you’re not alone when you meet a pretty girl and lie to get her to spend time with you without revealing yourself at all, right?” I say and he smirks at me, his eyes narrowing.
“Perhaps,” he almost admits.
“When you get to the City of Emeralds, you can use your handsome face for good and not evil.”
“If you were staying, I may have been different, but you are leaving, and I did not think you would ever know. I should have figured the zombie was watching us.”
“You shouldn’t have lied at all.”
“I shouldn’t have, but I cannot fall in love with you, Dorothy. You will only leave me behind,” he says and seems sincere.
“Who said anything about falling in love?”
“I would.”
“But I thought you were heartless.”
“I have to be.”
“No, you don’t. After we get to the Vampire Free Zone, you can open up, be normal again.”
“Only if the wizard lets me stay, and I hope he does,” he says and sighs.
“I’ll make him let you stay,” I say with resolve.
“I hope you can. And I hope he can help you return to Kansas, but if he cannot, I will take care of you,” he says, and it’s sweet of him in an archaic sort of way.
“That’s nice of you, but I can take care of myself.”
“That is plain to see,” he says and his expression makes me think he might like me. Yeah, he lied but maybe he likes me.
“The proposal still stands, huh?” I tease, and he smiles.
“Perhaps it does,” he says, a winsome grin lighting up his gorgeous face.
“We’ll see about that,” I say with a smirk before I sit up. “Time to get up.”
He pulls me back down and holds me to him.
“No, not yet,” he says, nuzzling my neck.
“Fan of the cuddle, huh?”
“With you? Very much,” he says, and growls into my neck before he kisses it, and it feels nice but I’m not stupid.
“Nick,” I scold.
“Dorothy,” he murmurs, and kisses my neck again, rolling himself on top of me.
“Nick,” I say, and feign a gasp.
“Dorothy,” he mocks, and leans in for a kiss, and I should stop him, but I don’t want to.
Perfervid lips claim mine, and it’s hot. Lust has buried any pride I had, and although I should tell him to get off, knowing he doesn’t like me for real and it’s morning and he’s a horny guy and that’s all it is, I’m so attracted to him I don’t seem to care about all the other stuff. Why don’t I? Am I that insatiable? Whatever, I’m leaving soon anyway, and I’ll never see him again after I go, so who cares?
Desire barrels through me and I kiss him back, wrapping my legs around him as he presses into me. Deft hands reach up under my shirt and he grasps my breasts, his touch sending waves of deliciousness through me.
So what if he’s a philandering debaucher? It’s a fling. I’ve never had one and there’s a first time for everything. A lot of firsts are happening for me here in this crazy place, and like he said, we could die at any moment.
His touch is like an awakening for my body, while his kisses are dizzying, intoxicating my brain, and together they create a haze of electric lust that has me rolling against him in desperate desire. It’s as though he’s made of hotness and mind-blowing sex and magical pheromones that drive me into a state of hedonistic ataraxia where my mind stops working and the only thing controlling me is blinding arousal. When he touches me, fireworks go off behind the lids of my closed eyes in a visual display of the sparks between us. A far greater pleasure than I’ve ever known careens through me from just his hands on my skin, evoking a yearning for so much more, and a soft moan escapes me, giving me away. He knows just what he’s doing to me.
“Dorothy,” he rumbles into my ear as he nibbles on it, and just the way he says my name is like a promise of the euphoria to come when I break and give myself to him.
“No! No, no, no, no!” I hear as Ardie walks in and he’s shaking his head at us.
The chiding reprimand is like a foghorn, snapping me out of my hormone induced fog.
Nick sighs, irritated, and says, “What’s it to you, Zombie?”
“She knows no better, and you are a scoundrel,” Ardie says, pulling him off me.
“She can take care of herself.”
Heat shoots to my cheeks as they blush, and I’m so humiliated I can’t even speak. Embarrassment percolates through me as I collect myself and sit up, unable to look at anything but my own wringing hands.
“Enough of this flirtation. She is not the girl you take advantage of. You hear?”
“Good thing for us both you are not either of our father to tell us what to do.”
“Well, I am responsible for her wellbeing, for I have made her a promise, and I think perhaps we should go our separate ways here.”
“What? No, you need me,” Nick booms.
“I think we will do fine without you and your dishonorable advances toward Dorothy,” Ardie scoffs.
“Perhaps you should stay, and Dorothy and I should go,” Nick challenges.
“All right, hang on—” I say as they argue, ignoring me. “Hey!” I shout and they both stop bickering to turn toward me. “We’ll all go together and get along. Ardie, I appreciate how protective you are, and I know he’s not sincere. I… whatever, it doesn’t matter. Nick, behave yourself. I will get more water for the road.”
Downright humiliated, I stand, take Nick’s shirt off, throw it at him, grab the empty bottles, and charge out of the cabin.
Outside, Toto is barking up a tree at a bird. When he sees me, he stops, turning his head toward me.
“Don’t go far, Toto. I’m going to the stream to get more water,” I say, and he returns to his barking as I head out.
After a few moments of walking alone in a chagrined daze, I hear jogging footsteps behind me. When I turn my head, I see it’s Nick approaching dressed in his armor and axes, but I don’t stop.
“Dorothy, wait—you should not go alone,” he says as he catches up.
Chastened by Ardie’s words, my insides roil in reddening shame and castigating twinges of blue, twisting me up in purpling knots that squeeze and grind down on my guts. Too disconcerted to speak, with still pink cheeks, silence is all I have to give him, and it’s not for anything he did. I wanted him to kiss me, but that’s what worries me.
Thanks to Ardie’s interruption, a sharp dose of reality has whelmed me, and I allow myself a taciturn moment to take stock. Ardie was right. I shouldn’t have submitted to that. Nick has told me he has no feelings for me, and I should take him at his word. What I wonder is what is wrong with me that I keep giving in? Is it my age, hormones, or worse, a desperate need for love?
As my mind flips through my past for the reasons I lost my pride with this player, one thing pops out at me like a
flashing neon sign. No one has loved me since my parents passed, and I’ve missed being loved, but I don’t want to be one of those girls who’s desperate for love, trying to find it in all the wrong places, and this guy has made it clear he’s a wrong place to look.
“Let me carry the bottles for you,” Nick says, trying to take them from me.
“Thanks, but I got it,” I say, curter than he deserves. He’s made his intentions clear. I’m the one who’s been stupid.
“Please do not tell me you are angry with me again,” he says, and I sigh.
“No, I’m angry with myself,” I admit.
“Why?”
“Because I shouldn’t have done it. It’s clear you have no sincere affections for me, and I did it anyway.”
“I… You are leaving, so what does it matter?”
“Nick, I’m not like you. I’ve never had a fling before, so I thought I’d try it but you’re a player and I don’t need that.”
“A player?”
“A guy who plays the field, sleeps with a lot of women.”
“How many is a lot?”
“Any that come your way.”
“Not any. I have standards.”
“Women who are attractive enough, and I get why you do it, but—”
“Why do I do it?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Everyone needs comfort and your life seems to lack in that area, but it’ll get better. The City of Emeralds sounds like a place you can relax, make real connections, and not worry about having to kill the people you connect to if they get bitten or something. That’s why I hugged you back, at first. Because it seemed like you needed a hug.”
“Your family in Kansas, are they loving? Do they comfort you and show you affection?”
“No. My parents were, but my aunt and uncle are not affectionate people.”
“Where do you find your comfort and affection?”
As I consider his question, it hits me—I am loved—and I chide myself for not thinking of it before, because it’s a love I may not have survived the past four years without.
Dorothy In the Land of Monsters Page 9