by KL Donn
The problem was, Sage didn’t understand anymore. Not her faith, nor her life. She felt things. Things she was taught would lead her to the devil and a sinner’s way.
If it was so wrong, why did it feel so good? Why did God allow her to feel for a man who didn’t know her if she was meant to be a servant of the Lord? How was she to remain pure and untouched when she didn’t comprehend all these new feelings and emotions?
Frustration beat a drum in her mind as Sage listened to her father continue his sermon. She wanted so badly to go back to a time when she didn’t question if what she believed was true. That marriage wasn’t arranged for her. That when her mother was fifteen, it was illegal for her father to take the young girl to his bed.
Ashley Powers opened her mind to a way of free thinking and choices. She helped Sage realize that maybe, she could serve God’s will and be happy. That a marriage of love was possible.
“Pay attention, Sage,” her oldest sister Anastasia hissed in her ear, not for the first time in recent months.
“How can I believe any of this when the real Bible, the one from the library, speaks so differently. Forgiveness and redemption are possible.” Scathing looks from other members quieted her from saying anything further.
“Let Him guide us free of temptation and sin. Let Him show you how to free your mind from the chains of anarchy. Grace will lead you into His eternal love.” Murmurs flowed through the room of parents telling their children as her sister had told her, to quiet down and pay attention. The problem was, the only temptation the children faced was playing in the ponds across the field on hot summer days.
They weren’t given access to things like candy or ice cream. Not yet old enough to understand the temptation that the bishop spoke of. Every day she watched as the children of the compound were browbeat into believing the twisted views her own father chose to bestow upon them.
There was no longer free will.
Life was chosen for you, and should he see fit, it was taken away from you.
She’d witnessed more than one rebellious member be burned at the stake—not literally, of course. It was a term used to terrify children into complicity.
What actually took place was a complete cleanse. Almost a reverse baptism. Offenders were taken to a swamp-like watering hole filled with snakes where they were forced to enter, and a prayer for their soul was chanted. If they remained in the water until the end of the prayer, they were granted leave but banished for all eternity and smote by the Lord’s hierarchy. They left with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and anyone caught conspiring with them would suffer the same fate.
Sage never realized how awful and degrading the ritual truly was. She hadn’t thought it anything but normal. After all she’d heard, other compounds across the state and country, everyone practiced the exact same rituals.
When she met Ashley at a rec center in Denver, about an hour’s drive from where their compound was located outside of Adna in Weld County, she was just as broken as Sage often felt. She liked to think that the older woman took comfort in her continued prayer to repair her spirit. Sage certainly took lessons in all that the woman shared with her.
After Sage ran into Lochlan when they’d gone for repairs in Loveland, things changed for her. He was all she cared about. What she wanted more than anything.
Her Lord’s forgiveness and blessing included.
Three months later.
“Sage, you will get out there and speak to the man. He is to be your husband.” Anastasia stood in the doorway to her room getting more frustrated by the moment.
“No,” Sage reiterated for the fifth time. She hated Morgan. Loathed him, in fact. He had this lecherous stare that made her skin crawl with all kinds of revulsion. He wasn’t a good man, no matter how hard her sisters tried to convince her.
“Sage.” Kaidence huffed an aggravated breath. “This is your chosen man. By your bishop. You will stop with this insufferable childishness and get your butt in gear and down those stairs.”
Turning her head from the window, Sage glared at her oldest sisters. “If he’s so great, why don’t one of you marry him?” The shared look at her words proved her point. “See? You don’t even believe the crap you’re spewing.” “Sage! You better watch your tongue around him,” Anastasia condemned.
Rolling her eyes, Sage turned her back on her busybody sisters, hoping they’d disappear as quickly as they appeared.
When her door slammed shut, her tense shoulders slumped forward with despair as the situation she found herself in smacked her in the gut.
“Oh Lord, what do I do?” Closing her eyes, she prayed for guidance, for mercy. She prayed for a savior.
“Sage!” Her father’s angry call forced her to rush up from the floor and out the door faster than anything could have. The man truly terrified her. She no longer recognized who he was and what he stood for. Surely the Lord wouldn’t encourage the abuse she suffered at his hands.
Before her foot touched the floor below the landing of the stairs, a hardened grip grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her into the family room.
“You,” her father seethed angrily, “will behave. No smart remarks. No insults. You will be the meek child I raised you to be, and so help me, if you are not eating out of the palm of Morgan’s hand and doing as he bids by the end of the evening, you will live to regret it. Am I clear?”
Meek?
“Sage!” he whisper-yelled at her.
Bowing her head, she did the only she could. “Yes, Father.” She transformed into the compliant darling he wanted but she would never honestly be.
Chapter One
When you’re at your lowest, look to the highest.
Present day.
Hearing Elianna and Asher fighting had become commonplace in the shop since Soph’s sister had shown up with her toolbox and attitude. To add fuel to that fire, Asher had been giving her nothing but dirty looks since then.
With Levi at home recuperating after being nearly beaten to death at an underground fight on the weekend—a secret he’d kept from the whole family—and Nox busy with phone calls to parts dealers, Loch had to be the one to find the couple and hose ‘em down or send ‘em home before a customer saw them.
Frustrated, he walked out to the front shocked to see Levi there giving them both hell. “Bro, what the hell are you doing out of the house? You drive here?”
“Stop fussing. I’m fine,” Levi insisted, but Loch could see little lines of pain surrounding his eyes.
“My ass,” Nox snapped, coming through his office door.
“Christ. Stop acting like a couple of mother hens. I’m getting enough of that from Hayes,” Levi complained, but anyone with vision could see he was happy as hell about it.
“So, what are you doing here?” Soph asked from behind the front counter.
The chiming over the door interrupted anything he was going to say. “Grand fucking central,” Levi muttered under his breath.
Loch didn’t pay attention to anything else as he watched Sage walk through the door with her parents and another man. Her gaze was locked on him as he scowled at the person behind her.
“Hi. Welcome!” Sophia’s chipper voice eased the scowl on the mother’s face. “How can we help you?”
Her father ignored everyone but Nox as he bee-lined straight for the oldest sibling. “The engine ticks. My wife says you’ve fixed her vehicle before.”
“Yes, sir, I have. So has Lochlan.” Nox nodded to him. “He can give you a hand. I’ve got a phone call on hold that, unfortunately, can’t wait.” His brother walked away before the man could protest.
Hating being put on the spot, he was thankful Levi stepped in. “Mr. Marlowe, how about you show my brother and I what you’re talking about, and we’ll try to get you out of here as soon as we can?”
“You work here?” Sage’s father’s disdain was crystal clear.
“I’m an owner, actually.” Loch could hear the bite in Levi’s tone.
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��Father.” Sage’s delicate voice had him stiffening when it shook with fear. An emotion Loch had never noticed in her before. “He was kind last time.”
The man turned and walked out, his wife following closely behind. The other person that had come in with them gripped Sage’s arm with such force that Lochlan stepped forward, intent on removing his hand from her body. Levi stepping in was probably for the best since he wasn’t a fighter and wasn’t huge on confrontation.
The entire encounter had both him and Levi on edge after they tightened the vehicle’s battery lines and spark plugs. With a quiet warning to Sage about how dangerous what she was doing could be again, the family was gone.
Something he’d later regret as Levi warned him. “Don’t do anything stupid, Lochlan.”
Levi left him standing in the parking lot, a feeling of dissonance surrounding him. Something was off with that girl. She had always been quiet, shy, but never fearful. Not once had anything but curiosity been seen in her gaze.
When she’d looked back at him through the car’s window, he recognized a need for escape reflected back at him. Whatever was happening in her home, she wanted away from it.
Acting on instinct, he jumped in his Cobra and followed a good distance behind the family. Knowing it was the stupid thing Levi had been referring to.
Loch needed to know more, though. He needed to know where she was because even if he couldn’t have her yet, he’d damn well know her location.
Sage didn’t understand why her father, let alone Morgan, had accompanied her and her mother into Loveland. At least not until she’d gotten a look on Lochlan’s face when Morgan had gripped her arm so tightly she felt it might be ripped from her body.
She had a terrible feeling that it was to be the last time she would get to see the man her heart desired again, and she was devastated. She may be young and foolish; however, Sage was anything but naïve. What she felt for Lochlan was everything the bible spoke of when God told of love.
She had been consumed by thoughts of him. Being near him, even when he was scowling at her, made her heart happy. When she was sad or upset, he was on her mind. Lochlan was the last person she thought about at night and the first when she woke in the mornings.
At last Sunday’s confession, she’d been caught up in the moment and confessed her longing. Her temptation for Lochlan went unheeded but was all she wanted.
Her father felt differently and told her if she wanted forgiveness for her sinful thoughts, she would take ten lashings of the whip from her soon-to-be husband. He would deal out her punishment from there on out.
Morgan was an unforgiving man, and when he found out about Sage’s feelings, he’d flown into a rage and ripped the skin from her back with his belt. Her sister Jossilyn and brother Trusen had been helping her clean the wounds since then. Whenever she was alone, she cried for every lash, the agony unbearable.
Apprehension was her constant companion as she sat beside Morgan on their way back to the compound, his hand on her thigh, precariously close to her most intimate area. Sitting still was becoming a challenge as his fingers moved ever closer.
Her parents sat in the front seat either blind to his actions or accepting it as his way of asserting his control over her. The only saving grace was that her father wouldn’t allow him to take her innocence until their wedding night; nevertheless, she needed to find a way to leave before then. Death would be preferable to a marriage to Morgan. A man so spiteful he would beat his future bride. She couldn’t be that. Not now, not ever, not to him.
“When we return home, you will get prepared to have a complete cleanse in three days’ time, Sage”—she froze like stone at her father’s words—“and until your wedding day, you will not leave the compound again.” Tears welled in her eyes at his command.
“I would rather she was sequestered to her room until the cleanse.” Morgan’s words made her want to scream with frustration.
Looking for help from her mother, Sage could see the woman was as tense as she was but remained quiet. Not speaking in Sage’s defense, knowing she was to be forced into the pond of snakes.
Sage loved her God, the one who cared and sacrificed for the greater good. She loved the man who spoke of forgiveness and understanding. The more frequently she spent time outside of the compound, though, the more she questioned her bishop. The more she demanded answers instead of following blindly.
“I’ve done nothing wrong, Father.” Her whispered words were followed by angry looks from both men in the vehicle. The burn of rage consuming her own flesh and blood gaze promised retribution for their visual admonishment of her comment.
Leaning her head on the window, she watched the fields pass by. Lowering the glass panel a bit, a rumble met her ears. Not one she instantly recognized, but one she felt in her soul. Turning ever so slightly so no one would notice, there he was, on the horizon behind them.
Lochlan.
Whatever fears the two had, whatever obstacles they would have to face, Sage knew without a shadow of a doubt that they would be together.
Loch watched in horror as Sage was driven behind a large set of automatic gates. As far as he could tell, they surrounded the entire property making it impossible for him to see more than a hundred yards past them. Knowing she was locked away so securely didn’t sit well with him.
“You haven’t even spoken to her,” he mumbled to himself. Something he kept repeating as he drove the hour back home.
If his brothers knew just how obsessed he’d become with this young girl, they’d likely lock him up. Sage was all he could think about. If he weren’t so damn good at his job, he’d have injured himself more than once, that’s how much she was consuming his thoughts.
Sage was…everything.
No matter how much he tried to free her from his mind, it bit him in the ass ten-fold. She just popped back up like a cavity.
When she was around, everybody assumed he was shy. That couldn’t be further from the truth. He was afraid if he spoke to her, if he had her full attention, he’d steal her away and never let her go. In actuality, he was trying to avoid jail time.
He didn’t know how old she was exactly but understood that the day she turned eighteen, he’d be following through on his instincts. Loch had watched as first, Nox fell for Soph and went through hell, then Levi practically forced Hayes into whatever they were considering themselves. As far as he was concerned, it was his turn. If only the timing were right.
Joey and Mac had tried convincing him to go after another girl. Find someone who could be with him now and not have to jump through hoops for. Asher told him to wait. Elianna told him to give the girl everything she wanted and more…to trust his instincts.
Well, his instincts were screaming that something was wrong in Sage’s world. The way her family had acted at the shop when there really wasn’t much wrong with the car told him it was more a tale of showing ownership. Either Sage had given away her feelings for him or the mother had. No matter which because Sage was terrified when she spoke up to her father. And even more so when the other man had put his hands on her.
Loch had raged inside when she shot him that fearful glance. He’d wanted to remove the person’s arm from his body and beat him with it. Having no idea at the moment about what to do or how, he was forced to let it go until she directly asked for his help.
Chapter Two
Faith is not knowing what the future holds but knowing who holds the future.
Sage was terrified. Her father had her locked in her room for three days as he planned her cleansing. Her entire life, she’d always recognized that she and her siblings were held to a higher standard in the community, that their punishments would be more severe for disobedience. However, not once had any of them suffered the fate she was about to.
Tru, Porter, and Jossilyn spent the past three days trying to convince their father to let her repent while Anastasia and Kaidence ignored her like so many others until her cleanse was complete. She was ostracized from every
one.
At mass on Wednesday, her father had made it clear that no one was to speak to her. That she was the devil’s sinner. For Sage, this was equivalent to death given that she thrived on being social. She loved being able to teach and play with the children. Working in the gardens had always been soothing for her troubled mind.
She had become a burden to those around her now. Even if she were declared reborn after the cleanse, she would never be looked at the same again. She would be forever tainted. Broken. Everyone would feel she was going to bring hell to their home. No amount of praying to her Lord had given her insight into why this was happening either.
Hearing the door to her room being unlocked from the outside, she quickly turned from the window and sat cross-legged on her bed, ready to be done with the whole ordeal.
“Sage,” Jossilyn called her name softly. As the second youngest at eighteen, her sister often felt as trapped and confused as Sage.
Standing, she asked, “Is it time?” Trepidation shook her voice.
“No.” Joss shook her head. “I’m going to town with Momma. That man you mentioned, I’m calling him. You need to leave this place, Sage.” The stark terror in her sister’s gaze had Sage’s spine straightening as she closed the door behind her.
“Why? What’s happening?” Their words remained hushed.
“Morgan is calling for your deflowering within twenty-four hours of the cleanse.” The urgency in her sister’s voice scared her. “He’s a bad man. His last wife didn’t die from an illness, he beat her to death.” Shocked, Sage’s jaw hung open.
“What do I do?” Her words were too quiet to be heard.
Jossilyn gripped her shoulders and shook her body. “You have to remain strong, Sage. Do not waver. God will pull through for you.”