by Alice Oseman
I guess I should at least tell Nick what’s been happening.
He never pesters. It’s one of the billion things I like about him. If he can see I don’t want to talk about something, he doesn’t make me.
“My family have just … they’ve been, like, treating me really weird.”
Nick sits up a little so we can look at each other properly. “Yeah?”
“It’s like … they either want to completely ignore what’s happened or they treat me like I can’t look after myself.” I can’t quite meet his eyes. “I hate how awkward they all are about it.”
“Even Tori?”
“Well … she’s sort of the only one who’s all right, like, she just talks to me like normal.”
“She’s always going to be on your side.”
I look at him.
“It’s hard,” he says and smiles, but it’s a sad smile. “I wish everyone understood it and knew exactly what to do and say. I think everyone should. But I guess they don’t. Even parents.”
“Yeah,” I say, but it’s barely more than a whisper.
“Even when your parents don’t know what they’re doing, Tori’s always going to be on your side,” he says again, and he’s right, she’s always been on my side and she always will be. She’s been with me since that night in October that changed everything – since she found me in the bathroom, with blood everywhere and razor blades on the floor, since she called the ambulance, since she refused to leave the hospital and slept in the A&E waiting room three nights in a row, since she brought me a gift every time she visited every single day – she has always been on my side.
And then I realise that Nick’s pointing at something, and I turn my head, and there, standing in the doorway, is Victoria.
She obviously forgot to bring an umbrella too – she looks like she just jumped into a river. She’s also quite out of breath, meaning she probably jogged here, and she looks angry in that completely silent way of hers – death-stare eyes, lips clenched together, fists dug into her coat pockets.
“Firstly,” she says, “Nick, I refuse to believe that you have this many family members. It’s not logical. Secondly, your disgusting brother tried to flirt with me again and I swear to God if he doesn’t get the message soon I’m literally going to just tell him to fuck off.”
All of the kids building the Lego pirate ship turn round in shock. Victoria looks at them and raises her eyebrows menacingly. They quickly turn away again.
Nick laughs heartily but Victoria’s face doesn’t change. She looks at me.
“Thirdly, I think you should come home now, because if I have to answer one more bloody question about my school grades I might do a runner as well and Dad’s already really upset as it is.” She moves her weight to her other leg. “Also, Oliver’s in a bad mood because no one will play Mario Kart with him, and Grandma wants to talk to you about your drumming lessons, and you’re going to have to tell Esther more about Nick at some point because I think she’s turning you into her new OTP and you need to bring her the fuck back down to earth.”
She slumps into the other end of the sofa, not looking at us, and tilts her head back into the cushions.
I have no idea what to say.
I move away from Nick and sit next to her. I put my arms around her and, after a few seconds, she leans on my shoulder.
“Fucking hate Christmas,” she says.
“No you don’t,” I say.
“I hate this one.”
“Everyone hates this one.”
Doctor Who still plays on in the background. Oliver’s probably watching it right now.
“I was just … I was just thinking about … what if …” Victoria’s voice shakes and then suddenly there are tears, seemingly impossible tears, and then I think I’m crying a bit as well, and it feels so stupid, everything about today feels so stupid. “What if it was just … me and Oliver by ourselves …”
“It won’t be,” I say. “That’s never going to happen.”
“It better fucking not.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say. I could say it a billion times and I still don’t think it would be enough. I rest my temple on her hair. “I’m so sorry.”
She doesn’t move. How many times have we sat here next to each other like this?
“Yeah,” she says.
It’s been the worst Christmas we’ve ever had, but here we are, still. Still here.
“You missed Grandad and Abuelo’s annual argument,” she says, after a while.
“What was it about this year?”
“I think it was about antique furniture, but most of Abuelo’s points were in Spanish and that’s not my area. I needed you to commentate.”
“There might be another round later, like last year.”
“Hopefully. It at least stopped Clara trying to get me to describe my ideal man.”
I laugh, and then she laughs too, and everything’s a little bit better. Just for a minute or so.
OLIVER JONATHAN SPRING, 7
First Charlie disappeared, and then Tori disappeared, and I’m starting to wonder whether I’m next. Nobody seems to be saying anything about it, which makes me wonder whether my family are behind it, and they’ve all been possessed by some ghosts or evil dinosaurs or something. I’m playing Mario Kart right now in front of the TV to take my mind off it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not very worried.
Mario Kart’s kind of boring when you play it by yourself.
Rosanna keeps touching my hair and it’s really annoying me.
Mum comes up to me just as I’ve finished Luigi Circuit and asks if I need another drink. I shake my head and ask, “Where’s Charlie and Tori?”
Mum sits down on the sofa to my right. She’s got a glass of wine in one hand. “They’ve just gone out for a little bit.”
“Have they been kidnapped?”
“No, oh, darling, no.”
“Where’ve they gone?”
Mum doesn’t say anything for a little bit. Maybe she doesn’t know …
“Charlie was a bit upset earlier, so he went to Nick’s house.”
Nick is Charlie’s boyfriend, who comes round our house all the time. I think they’ll probably get married one day so they can have their own house and not have to walk to each other’s houses every single day.
I put down the Wii remote. Charlie’s been upset quite a lot lately. Mum says that he’s got something wrong with his brain that makes him upset all of the time. He had to go to the hospital for it.
“Is it because of what’s wrong with his brain?”
“… Sort of, yes.”
“Oh. Is he going to get better soon?”
Mum sips her wine. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I hope so.”
“Where’s Tori?”
“I think she’s gone to see if Charlie wants to come home yet.”
“Oh.”
“I said some … not very nice things,” Mum says, and rests her chin in one hand, “to Charlie.”
I suddenly realise that she looks really sad. Mum’s never ever sad about things – she gets angry sometimes and complains when I leave all my tractors on the lounge windowsill or make too much noise in the car, but she doesn’t really get sad.
I get up off the floor and go and give her a hug, which is what you have to do when someone is sad.
She laughs and pats me on the head. “Aw, Oliver. I’m okay.”
“You could just say sorry,” I say. “That’s what you have to do when you say something bad. Say sorry.”
“You’re completely right,” she says, and when I step back, she’s smiling, so I must have done a good job with the hug.
And then I hear the front door open.
I immediately run out of the lounge and down the hallway and there, taking their shoes off, are my big brother and sister, soaked from the rain. I run towards Charlie because he’s the only one left in my family who still picks me up and when he sees me he grins and holds out his arms and lifts me into the air and sa
ys, “Cor, you’re getting so heavy. You’re like an elephant, you are.”
“No I’m not.”
Tori ruffles my hair, which isn’t as annoying as when Rosanna does it. “What age are you going to stop being carried everywhere?”
I take a moment to consider. “Twenty-seven.”
They both laugh and Charlie carries me into the lounge, Tori following us. When we get there, Charlie puts me down, and then he goes and gives Mum a hug, which is nice, because hugs always make everything better.
Tori sits on the other sofa and I sit next to her and say, “Everything’s better when all three of us are here.”
Tori looks at me. “Definitely.”
“Why did you go away? I was so bored. This Christmas has been so boring.”
She looks at me some more. “Well … it’s been something.”
I don’t really know what that means.
“But I promise we won’t go away ever again,” she says.
“You can’t promise that,” I say. “You have to go to school.”
“Okay, next time we go somewhere, we’ll tell you before we go.”
“Fine. And you have to promise to come back.”
Tori smiles. “Okay. We’ll definitely promise to come back.”
“Good.”
Being on my own without a brother or a sister would be weird. I don’t think I’d like it. Who are you supposed to play with or ask to reach stuff for you? There wouldn’t be anyone to carry me around. And there’d be two empty bedrooms in the house and we’d probably get ghosts living here. I really don’t like ghosts.
“Can we play Mario Kart now?” I ask.
“Yes.” Tori ruffles my hair again. “Yes, we can play Mario Kart now.”
My name is Tori Spring. I like to sleep and I like to blog. Last year I had friends. Things were very different, I guess, but that’s all over now … Now there’s Solitaire.
Click here to read the astonishing debut Solitaire …
Don’t miss Nick and Charlie’s story – click here to read …
Coming soon by Alice Oseman – RADIO SILENCE
About the Author
Alice Oseman is a debut author from Rochester Kent, and is currently attending Durham university reading English. Alice has thoroughly researched sarcastic teenagers who spend a lot of time on the internet, by being a sarcastic teenager who spends a lot of time on the internet. Her debut novel, Solitaire, was signed when she was eighteen years old.
She is active on Twitter and Tumblr – her writing of Solitaire has been significantly inspired by behavioural trends on Tumblr. Alice is currently working on her second novel.
Follow Alice Oseman on Twitter: @AliceOseman
Follow Tori Spring on Tumblr: www.chronic-pessimist.tumblr.com
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd.
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Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
http://www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Canada
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Toronto, ON, M4W, 1A8, Canada
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New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers (New Zealand) Limited
P.O. Box 1
Auckland, New Zealand
http://www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London, SE1 9GF
http://www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
http://www.harpercollins.com