“I’m sorry for running out on you.” He placed his arms down by his side. He didn’t know how to make this right, doubted he ever could. Nothing could change what had happened. Maybe if he told Neo exactly what he thought? “If I could go back and change how I handled things that morning, I would.” There was no going back. For either of them. “I was stupid and didn’t have a clue.”
“You’re telling the truth about all this?” Neo looked pensive. He seemed to be digesting everything that he’d been told.
“You’d know if I lied.” Neo had been particularly good at looking into others’ bullshit and calling it crap. He seemed to have a built-in lie detector. He’d known Phil’s lie from the beginning.
“Probably.” Neo got to his feet. His muscles stretched out and then relaxed as he did. He had a dancer’s grace. Sometimes he reminded Phil of a cat.
He had finally told him. He’d gotten a chance to explain himself for the wrong done so long ago. Neo walking away was all he could expect, but at least he’d told him. It was a good feeling trying to mend things between then. “I’m glad I got a chance to tell you this. I’ve wanted to. But I didn’t know how to talk to you.”
“I’m glad too. Though you still need to work on being assertive about what you want.” Neo walked to the door and locked it instead of opening it. He didn’t turn back toward Phil but stood there.
Phil arched an eyebrow. What was Neo going to do behind a locked door? Surely he wasn’t going to try to punish Phil? Or do anything extreme? All the other dancers who would use this area had gone home, and there were no more drag shows or man shows scheduled. For practical purposes, they were alone back here. “Uh, what are you doing?”
Neo turned back around and stalked toward Phil. “This.” He put one hand on the back of Phil’s head and pulled him in for a bruising kiss that left Phil’s head spinning like he was in a whirlwind. That masterful mouth knew how to deal out pleasure like the best runner of blackjack there was.
Maybe second chances were real?
Chapter Five
Neo kept control of the kiss by pulling away every time Phil tried to wrest back domination. Then he’d plunge in with his tongue again, sealing his mouth across the man’s.
What the hell are you doing?
What he’d wanted to do since Phil had marched into work at the bar on the first day. He’d been pissed off about Phil leaving him that morning, so he’d held on to that anger. But he’d wanted to do this in spite of that.
So he did. For right now.
He pulled away and placed his forehead against Phil’s. He was panting, and his cock was rock hard in his jeans. Damn the man. Why did he have to be so sexy with his bouncer-like appearance? His dirty-blond hair fell to one side and was always a little messy. His blue eyes radiated calm even when the whole world was collapsing around him. His full mouth made Neo want to plant a kiss on him each time he saw him. Black pants that fit him like a second skin and an old black T-shirt that hugged every muscular curve were his clothes of choice even today, and they suited him. The whole package made Neo want him.
Yeah, Neo was still attracted to him even when he’d been hating on him. He couldn’t help his libido. Maybe doing him one more time under the right circumstances would get Phil out of his system. It was worth a try. And Neo would get great sex at the very least and maybe get rid of the ghost of Phil that seemed to hang over Neo’s life. It was why he’d never been able to move on with anyone else. Every guy Neo had gone after since Phil had been compared to Phil and came up lacking in some way.
Phil panted for breath. “So you believe me?” He grasped at Neo as though that was the only thing keeping him grounded. “You believe what I’ve told you about my mother?”
“Maybe.” He had no reason not to, nor did Phil lie well. But there was still a hold on total suspension of disbelief. Phil hadn’t been forthcoming back at the time. He’d taken the easy way out. Doing it once, he’d probably do it again. “Maybe not.”
“But you kissed me?” Phil sounded like he was baffled. He leaned away from Neo so he could look him fully in the face. “Even if you aren’t sure about me?”
“Yeah. Look, I think Vin Diesel is a stupid fuck bastard. But I’d still do him on a dime.”
“Huh?”
“Attraction has nothing to do with relationships. It’s got everything to do with a quick fuck and libido.” Neo brushed his hand down Phil’s face. Caressed his high cheekbone. Liked the feel of the smooth skin. Phil must have shaved.
“You want to fuck me.”
“Oh, yeah.” Neo licked his lips. “As many ways as I can.” He tightened his grip on Phil’s head. “For now.”
Phil didn’t look happy. He looked downright pissed off.
He didn’t have the right to look that way. “That’s all you get. A quick fuck. You want more than that?” He released Phil’s head and shifted his body away, despite the fact that his cock protested madly. His entire body felt the loss of Phil’s body against his. He wanted it back despite being the one to push it away.
Phil seemed to reflect for a minute. “I do. I didn’t think you would or could. Not after what I did to you. But I would like more than a one-night stand if it’s on the table.”
“I would too.” The words went out into the world, and Neo almost wanted to shove them back into his mouth. Shit. Why did he have to put himself out there? Vulnerable. Like he’d been when Phil had slammed the door on his cock. Neo was always doing shit like this with Phil. No one else but that rat bastard. “But I’m not sure I trust you yet. So right now…you can fuck me. You want more? We’ll have to see. Sex is the only thing I’m guaranteeing. Take it or leave it.” He didn’t ask the final part to his diatribe. Because it wasn’t a question. Phil would either take him up on the offer or reject him outright. Neo didn’t have to ask. Phil would do whatever it was he was going to do. “There’s the door if you’re going.” Neo pointed toward it.
Phil suddenly pulled Neo close to him. His mouth pursed. “But you’ll consider more? More than this? Maybe later?”
“More than this? We haven’t fucking done jack shit yet.” And Neo was horny and ready for anything with Phil. If the man was walking away, he’d better do it quickly. If he did, Neo would be taking a long shower with lots of soap when he arrived home.
Phil wouldn’t let Neo move closer or move his lips to Phil’s. He held him off with strong arms and hands. “More than this is possible, though? I’m not asking now, I’m asking for later?”
“Maybe’s all I got, baby.” Neo couldn’t commit. Hell, he still half expected Phil to run. “You’re going to have to work to get whatever more you want. Fucking’s all I can offer you right now. Which I’ve already said. So make your decision.”
Phil nodded. “Okay.”
Neo arched a brow. He wasn’t getting any younger. “‘Okay’? That mean you want to—”
“Fuck now. More later.” Phil’s mouth sounded as though it was full of marbles, so deep and guttural was his voice. “I cede.”
He hadn’t yet. But he would. Neo leaned down to kiss the slightly shorter man in a flurry of lips that heated Neo’s blood. It drove that warmth down into his cock to make him burn all over. He grasped Phil instinctively for support. He needed something to anchor him so he wouldn’t lose himself in the stratosphere, which was where he felt like he was traveling. “This may be it. There may be no later.”
Kiss upon kiss around the words.
“I know.”
There was nothing gentle or easy about these embraces. They were hard. Phil nipped at his lips, making Neo shudder.
Neo pulled back yet again. “Here.” Now that they’d sorted some things out, he didn’t intend to wait any longer than he had to.
“Here?”
He’d known of several people who had quickies in the dressing room. It was about to be his turn. “Here.” He reached in his bag and pulled out a couple of condoms. He’d had them there for emergency use. This was desperate use and wel
l played.
Phil chuckled. “We going to need that many?”
“You never know.” He might keep Phil in here as his slave forever and a day. Rose would see they’d made up then.
He snaked his hand behind Phil’s head to tangle in his hair and bent down for another series of kisses.
The man tasted of mint. Wholesome and squeaky clean.
Not for long.
Neo would see to that.
Keeping his mouth on Phil’s, he moved a little and undid the clasp to his jeans. Slipped down the zipper.
Phil almost broke away from the kiss when Neo seized his hand and put it through the opening in Neo’s pants, but he didn’t have enough leverage.
Neo bucked against Phil’s meaty paws. Time to put those fat fingers to good use. He encouraged what he wanted from the big man.
Phil didn’t hesitate but clasped his digits around Neo’s cock, touching and clutching him.
Neo felt him reach around with his other arm, but wasn’t sure why until he felt a tug on his pants. Phil was trying to get them down a little more. About damn time. He let go of Phil’s head and assisted him in getting himself free.
Nothing like hand on cock. Especially when the hand wasn’t your own.
Neo’s pants went down around his knees and stopped. It was enough. Phil’s grip now cupped all of him. He rubbed with one palm and touched with the other.
Neo’s head rolled back. It had been too damn long. A full two months of no cock. He’d have to make up for lost time.
Phil succeeded in pulling his mouth away from Neo because Neo was no longer holding him place. He panted, trying to catch his breath. And slipped away but kept his touch on Neo’s cock.
Neo growled, wanting that fabulous body back against him.
Phil bent to one knee and then put down the other one.
So that was what he was about. Neo’s breath caught in his throat. Nothing was better than hand on cock, except for mouth on cock and cock in ass. And it looked like Neo was about to get the former.
Phil gently ran his tongue around the tip of Neo’s cock. He groaned. “You’re dripping.”
“Shit, yeah—oh.”
Phil’s mouth enclosed the tip of Neo’s cock. He swirled his tongue around the tip, prying into the little opening.
Neo gripped the top of Phil’s head, trying to stay afloat. He didn’t want to end up a puddled mess on the floor.
Phil slowly slid Neo’s cock in and out of his mouth, taking him in deeper each time. He did something with his tongue and teeth, making Neo all the more sensitive and edgy.
Phil knew how to give head like nobody’s business. Neo had remembered that, but he’d forgotten how good the man was. Phil knew how to leave his teeth from the equation until they were warranted.
He deep throated, and Neo almost cried out. A banging noise ensued that reminded Neo where they were as he was about to lose control. He bit his lip to keep from hollering.
“Need to stop?” Phil whispered the words right by Neo’s cock. His breath tickled the wetness.
“Not unless you have a death wish.”
Phi chuckled softly. “Only for the little death.”
Yeah, it wasn’t going to be so little. And if he’d stop talking and take Neo back into his mouth—and there Phil went. It was another few seconds, and Neo exploded. Lights flashed in front of his eyes. Had he screamed, he would have brought down the whole damn club, but he managed to keep the noises inside him.
His heart pounded. He’d not intended to orgasm until Phil took him in his mouth. Not planned on coming until they butt fucked. But once the man had started, that had been it. He blew out several breaths, trying to get himself together.
He couldn’t fuck Phil now. Not that queers always fucked up the ass. But that had been his intent. The man never let him do what he intended. What was it about Phil that made him lose control?
Phil grabbed a condom and began rolling it on his still-heavy cock. “Get your pants off and stand against the wall.”
“What the fuck?” Neo hadn’t intended to say the words aloud—they’d been for in his head only—but apparently he wasn’t doing anything he wanted to this afternoon. He’d been told to assume the position. Usually that was his line.
“I think you know what the fuck is fuck.” Phil folded his arms in front of his barrel chest as he responded to Neo’s question. “Pants off. Move against the wall.” He motioned as though showing Neo how to do it.
“I…” He shut his mouth, hardly knowing what to say. “You’re bossy.” Sounded lame even as he said it.
“You have a problem with me taking you?” Phil’s energy rolled over Neo. He’d never felt the like. Phil was more a force to be reckoned with than he’d ever thought. More like a tornado.
“Yes. No. Yes.” That had clarified his position. Neo usually wasn’t this wishy-washy. Phil was bringing things out in him he wasn’t sure he liked. When they’d had their one night, Neo had done all the taking. This was different. A forceful man. Neo hadn’t dealt with that in a long time. He shuddered.
“Maybe so?”
They both laughed at the child’s taunt, which relieved a lot of the tension building in Neo. He stopped chuckling and said, “I’m not sure.”
“I can see that. Have you ever been fucked up the ass?” Phil looked expectantly, waiting for an answer.
This man was asking him if he was a virgin at something? Been a long time since he’d been asked that kind of question. Most assumed Neo had been there and done that. Somehow, that warmed him toward Phil. “Yeah. I’ve done it before.” Neo curled his fingers up into his hand. “A few times. I’m usually the—”
“Top.”
The man seemed to know that. It wasn’t a question. “Yeah.” He could be the bottom. He had been before. But not for a long time. Not to mention, despite the fact he wanted Phil and didn’t know what was going to happen, he wasn’t sure he trusted the man. Not entirely. That would take time. Did he have enough faith to let him do this?
“I know your recovery time is good. But it’s not that good.” Phil wiggled his hips around, making Neo think more lecherous thoughts. “We don’t have much time. And I can make this worth it for you.”
“Oh?” Neo arched a brow. Was it time for bragging? Course it wasn’t bragging if it was true.
“You think I’m good at head?” Phil lifted a brow and grinned. “I know you do from the way you react to me.”
“Beyond good.” The man had a talent for that, which was no lie. His deep throating was some of the best that Neo had had.
“I’m even better at this. I won’t hurt you, Neo. Ever again.” He looked so earnest with his sky-blue eyes.
Neo stood for a few seconds, cock dripping with drying come, thinking about the situation. “You know I’m usually top. Right?”
Phil nodded. “I know that from when we were together. I prefer being a bottom. But I can do top.”
“Fine. This once, you can take me.” After all, it might even be their one and only time doing this. There’d been no pretty promises. Only a spoken truth that where this was going, he didn’t know.
Phil twirled his fingers. “Up against the wall. So you don’t fall down.” He kept motioning until Neo turned and couldn’t see him anymore.
Neo braced himself against the wall and spread his legs after taking off his pants. He wasn’t going to try that clothes-around-the-ankles shit. Anyone who wanted him from out there would have to wait until he was done.
Phil came up behind him and pressed his warm body against Neo’s. He’d taken off his shirt and rubbed his bare chest against Neo’s back. Then he’d used those warm muscles to hold him close. He wrapped his arms around the other man. He stood there a minute, cock resting against Neo’s backside.
Neo was about to speak when Phil did. “Thank you for that. For giving me a second chance.”
Neo had had a lot of bedroom talk. Been told a lot of stuff when he was about to fuck. But nothing had ever hit him lik
e this. Nothing had ever made his knees go weak. Not like this. It was so genuine. It was so Phil.
He closed his eyes, feeling the coldness of the wall and warmth of Phil against him. Heaven couldn’t be too far from this.
And then Phil moved. He lifted himself up and bent Neo down. And his cock rubbed against Neo’s opening.
And heaven became each new moment.
Phil pulled back a second, and something wet dripped into Neo’s hole. Lube. And it must have been something he had, because Neo hadn’t had any. The liquid was warm too. Then searing heat spread across him.
“Whoa…”
“Warming lube.”
“Yeah.” Neo kept his breathing under control. No sense passing out right there. “Noticed.” It wasn’t unbearable, but the sensations were quite noticeable.
Phil moved back against him, and his tip pressed against Neo’s opening. Only a fraction went in.
Neo couldn’t control his shudder, though. He’d never wanted anything so much as this.
What if he’s rough? He could hurt you. You know that. He wasn’t careful before, and look what happened to you emotionally. What if he’s not careful physically either?
Neo shook those thoughts off. He’d started on this course of events, and he’d see it to the close.
Phil went in slowly. Almost too gently. He’d go in a bit, then pull back, then go in the same amount. He pressed in, keeping himself from thrusting.
Phil’s hands were right by Neo’s head. They were clenched so tight he was shaking.
This going slow was costing him.
Another press in.
“I’m not made of fucking glass.” Neo’s words ended on a hiss. Phil would continue this until Neo told him otherwise.
“I don’t want to…hurt you. You don’t do this often.” Phil went in deeper and moaned. “Not like me. Who’s used to being penetrated.”
“Bitch, faster. Take me. I’m not some pussy who’s going to break.” Neo moved himself back and took Phil in that much more.
As if a dam had broken, Phil slammed into Neo with everything he had. He continued thrusting again and again. Taking Neo quickly. Hard. Just the way he wanted to.
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