“Dude,” I said, wiping the skin one final time. “You can’t go past Lark’s shop. It’s Teensy’s final fitting, you know this, and my job is to keep you the fuck away from there. When I get Lark’s text, we’ll go up and you can stuff your face, so I don’t have to hear you talk.”
“Is he always like this?” the customer asked.
“Yeah.” I smiled. “Hey Frodo,” I greeted and started to dress the tattoo.
“Hey.” He smiled. He wasn’t a big talker, which suited me just fine.
“You want to go grab some food from upstairs?” I offered.
“Nah. I don’t eat meat,” he said, throwing his bag into a corner.
“How can you not eat meat?” Zack asked, appalled.
“Because I don’t like the taste of it. And this one time when I was traveling, I went off, off, the beaten path and stayed with these guys. They killed a man on our bus, and my buddies and I were kind of asked not to leave. Then there were some gunshots. Then there was a barbeque. A plate of food was shoved in our faces, along with big fuckin’ guns to our heads while we were forced to eat whatever the fuck that mystery meat was while they laughed. Three days later, after we sat in our own piss and shit, some kind of government agency swooped in and rescued us. We asked where the rest of our group was and later they told us they found charred human remains with flesh removed… I don’t eat meat, man.”
The studio was so fucking quiet.
The silence was broken when Zack asked, “Does it really taste like chicken?”
I punched him in gut. “What’s wrong with you?”
“When will I ever get this opportunity again?” He laughed. Swear to God, Zack had no filter whatsoever.
Frodo slowly turned his body to Zack. He shook his head and told him, “Zack, man, it tastes like barbeque.”
Teensy walked in the door. “Thank fuck!” I said, thankful to see her pretty face. “Get him out of here!”
“Sweetie, have you been a naughty, naughty boy today?” she cooed while Zack started to turn red.
“Not in front of the guys, T!” He grabbed his backpack and roughly zipped it closed.
She laughed and pulled him through the door. “Thanks for putting up with him Nico,” she said.
“No problem.” When the customer was gone, I turned to Frodo and asked, “No shit?”
“Dude, Zack is the most gullible person I have ever met. Really cool guy though. We went to different high schools, but our parents go to the same synagogue. We used to play Warhammer together.”
“Excuse me?” I grinned.
“You know, that game with the—”
“I know it.” Oh, I had so much ammunition to sling at Zack with this new piece of his personal history.
“Don’t tell him I was lying; I want to keep embellishing the story for a while. Maybe ask a buddy to come in and pretend he’s a drug lord from Bolivia or something. Or even better, a DEA agent.” He threw his hands across his chest in laughter.
“You’re all right, Frodo.” I took the excess cash and filled out the deposit slip. “Thanks for closing on a holiday.”
“Have a good night, Nico.” He smiled.
“Oh, I will.” I hoped I was going to anyway.
The fireworks were going to start any minute. Lark was playing hostess and giving everyone these cute little red, white, and blue Jello parfait things she made. She had a name for them, but I couldn’t tell you what it was, only that I could have eaten them all. Then she brought around these brownies with this gooey center. This was followed by a seven-layer Mexican dip which everyone devoured.
She looked down at the empty dish. “I can’t believe that was more popular than the desserts.”
“Because people are drinking. Sweet and beer doesn’t match as well as salt and beer, babe.”
“I know that. I’m just saying, those brownie things are so good.”
My pop appeared. “Lark, honey. Where are those brownies?” he whispered.
She whispered back, “There’s a Tupperware container in the cupboard above the fridge with a piece of tape that says, ‘rat, mouse, and big ugly spider poison’. It’s all yours.” She winked.
“God bless you.” He smiled and started to walk away.
“Pop?” I asked, getting up from the lawn chair. “What time is it?”
He looked at his watch. “A minute ‘til fireworks,” he answered. “Just enough time to eat a brownie without your mom finding out.”
“Well, we better get everyone together. Hang back a minute,” I said and got up, shoving my hands in my pockets.
We all stood on the rooftop: Mom and Pop, Hank and Ramona, Teensy and Zack, Moira and her boyfriend, Tonka—he was built like a truck—and Becca and her boyfriend, Flapjack. All eyes were looking toward the sky. Lark stood next to Ramona, and I kneeled down in front of the crowd and waited for them to notice me. The first fireworks went up with a loud, explosive bang, and while I watched Lark’s face smile up at the sky, illuminated with bright white and red hues, she glanced down at me for a second then looked back up. Then it hit her. She looked down at me, her smile replaced by shock while I smiled right back at her. She had on a red tank top, her necklace hung beautifully, her long hair in two braids at her back. She threw a hand over her mouth and her loud hiccup got everyone’s attention.
“Babe.” I smiled up at her. “Come over here a minute, will ya?” She moved closer, as she tried so hard to contain her happy tears. “I keep trying to take you away to do this, but I can’t wait anymore. I was looking for something… for a long time… I found it. Will you be my wife?” I held the ring up, and she offered me her shaking hand. Not once did she look at the ring. Her eyes stayed on mine the entire time. She got down to my level and threw her arms around me, making me lose my balance as she hugged me and laughed. Our friends and family clapped behind us. I finally saw her face and wiped her tears away. “So that’s a yes?”
“You bet your ass it’s a yes.” She laughed.
I heard the pop of a champagne cork behind us. Pop filled red plastic cups when Lark said, “You know, I have glasses for this occasion… just sayin’.”
“Next time, babe.” I smiled and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
“I’m glad you finally asked me, Nico.”
I stood up and pulled her to her feet, the fireworks forgotten behind us as Pop handed me a cup and started to pour.
“A toast to my son and the beautiful Lark. Always wanted a daughter, honey.”
Everyone held their cups, waiting for Lark and I to have ours filled.
“None for me,” she said to Pop.
“You need to drink something; it’s bad luck if you don’t,” he said.
“Sprite then,” she requested and looked at me.
“You want a beer? We can open a bottle of wine…” my pop offered.
“No, no alcohol,” she said softly and squeezed my hand.
Ramona dropped her cup, champagne splashing everywhere.
“Okay, I guess Sprite will have to do—”
“Tom!” My mom smacked my pop.
“What?” He looked at her, then looked at me and Lark.
“Babe?” I said as she pulled my hand to her belly.
“Yeah,” she said quietly. Her face softened in a beautiful smile along with her voice as she said, “I love you, Nico. Good timing.”
The fireworks boomed around us as our families howled with screams and catcalls. Me, on the other hand, I just stared at the face of the woman who I knew I could not live without.
“Damn,” I said and shook my head.
“What is it?” she asked, confused.
“You took the breath right out of me, babe… again.”
***
The rest of the night was spent with Ramona and Mom treating Lark like she was made of fine China. They didn’t let her lift a finger. At one point she turned to me and said, “I could get used to this, you know.”
We laughed about it, laughed with our families, and l
aughed with our friends while everyone made us feel like we were the Queen and King of all we surveyed. While Lark was in the shower, I took out my journal to write to Dish.
Dear Dish –
Tonight, I asked Lark to be my wife.
She said yes.
She also told me I’m gonna be a daddy.
I wonder how other men feel when this happens to them. Weirdest thing, I’m happy about potentially becoming a dad. I can’t wait actually, but what makes me happiest is seeing the change in Lark. It’s like I gave her the things she was missing and she did the same for me. I can’t even think straight now.
Mom and Pop are beside themselves. Pop never stopped smiling the entire night. Hank kept trying to comfort Ramona who was happy beyond belief, but very emotional. Zack and Teensy left with everyone else, all giving us their congratulations as they went.
I wanted to take her to the cabin, but maybe it’s better this way. It was spur of the moment. Something told me the time was right and I’m glad I listened.
N-
With the news that Lark was pregnant and engaged, Dee decided it was time for a visit. I had mixed feelings about Dee. For whatever reason, I got the distinct impression she hated my fuckin’ guts. I had to say, so far, the feeling was mutual. But for Lark’s sake, I was happy to keep the peace.
The beginning of August meant Lark was about six weeks along. She kept telling me it was early days yet. She didn’t have any morning sickness but said she was tired, exhausted in fact. My reply to this was, “Growing a person must be hard work,” and encouraged her to rest whenever she could.
Other than that, life went on as normal. We started to make wedding plans for after the baby was born. Since Lark had already made a dress—one I wanted to see her in—she said we should wait and have kiddo be a flower girl or ring-bearer. Although, kiddo wouldn’t be doing much of anything but sleeping or eating, because neither one of us wanted to wait long. “As soon as I can fit in that dress,” she said. “Brace yourself, lover, because I am going to be all over that bride shit!”
I laughed at her enthusiasm.
August the sixth, the bell sounded above the door in the studio, and Cole appeared with a huge pink balloon filled with baby crap.
“It’s a girl!” he happily stated.
I got up from the laptop, shook his hand, and asked with a smile, “Name?”
“Ava Amelia.” His eyes had gone all dreamy when he said it.
“Jesus, man, look at you!” I laughed.
“Anyway, she’s perfect, and Anika was great. Only took fifteen hours of hard work, but she said it was worth it. She can’t wait to do it all over again.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. I’d been looking up pregnancy websites when he walked in. I was actually terrified.
“And I thought you’d get a kick out of this; they put Ava on Anika’s chest and she started to suckle, and damn if Anika isn’t a natural. She latched on, no problems at all. A natural. Both of them. My parents are there now. They made me leave, and I only did because Anika said she wants Thai food from our favorite place. Thought I’d stop and give you the news since I was close by.”
“Thanks, Cole. That is really great news.”
A few hours later and I was still smiling.
It was great news.
Frodo came in, and I went home to my fiancé. “Babe?” I called out. “You won’t believe who came in today. Do you want to go to that diner? I know you’ve been wanting fries from there. Maybe we should—”
“Nico,” she sobbed. She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, her grey yoga pants in a bloody heap along with a few towels. “I think I lost the baby.”
“Fuck.” I scooped her into my arms. I didn’t give a fuck about the blood or the mess. “We need to take you to the hospital, babe.”
“I’m so sorry,” she cried into my chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“Babe.” I held her sobbing body to me and told her, “Don’t be sorry, please, Lark. This happens. It happens all the time. It isn’t anything you did or didn’t do. It’s just Mother Nature’s way of saying something wasn’t right.”
I let her calm down for a while before I stripped both of us and got her in the shower. The reality of what had happened hadn’t really hit me until I began to clean her body. I’d bathed her before, knew every inch of her, but when I moved the washcloth between her legs and saw the source of the blood, something in me began to ache. I’d never felt that before and I hoped never to feel it again. It was a moment I would carry with me to the grave.
I called my mom and asked her to come and clean up. “Oh, baby,” she said, “don’t worry about anything. Just take care of your girl.”
I knew she wouldn’t hesitate. I didn’t want to leave Lark’s side, and the last thing I wanted was for us to come home and be confronted with the aftermath of her miscarriage.
They scheduled her for something called a D and C, told her to wear these huge maternity pads and to come back tomorrow. It was fucking horrible. Probably the worst part of the entire experience was taking her to the appointment at the clinic and watching these heavily pregnant women, all glowing and shit, walk past us.
In the meantime, Teensy had been planning her wedding. Lark was, of course, involved, but she wasn’t in any frame of mind to celebrate. She wanted to and would have stepped up, but I called Zack, Teensy called me and said, “Oh Nico, I’m sorry. Zack told me what happened and I re-arranged everything.” I started to argue with her, but she stopped me with, “There are only thirty people coming. A few phone calls and a flash of my platinum card makes everything possible.” Then her tone changed to that sweet way she reserved for the people close to her. “You tell her to call whenever she needs me, Nico. I mean it.”
Lark felt terrible for inconveniencing everyone, and no matter how many texts she received from Teensy, that didn’t change. The doctor told us we could start trying again after her first period. Since she was close to forty, something they seemed to remind her about constantly, they stressed that time was of the essence. I thought they were all a bunch of unfeeling cocksuckers, personally, and asked my mom if she and Ramona could please find a good doctor that I didn’t want to punch in the throat.
After a few days of being at home, Zack and Frodo covered the shop, and I finally took Lark to the cabin.
Chapter 17
My neighbor had opened the cabin to air it out and check the pipes and gas. He even cleaned the canoe and anchored it on the small bank for me. I think I packed anything and everything I could think of to keep Lark entertained and happy.
Her melancholy had sunk its teeth in and stayed. She just couldn’t seem to shake it, but I looked that up too and knew that all I could do was be there, be her constant and wait. I wasn’t trying to make her forget or distract her from her grief, because that’s what it was. I felt it, too. Something so small, I felt that loss. Not like she did; I never would. But I wanted to feel it with her. No matter what, I just wanted to be with her.
Dee was due to arrive, but she postponed her trip until late September. She still called Lark every day, and they would talk for at least an hour. I had to listen while Lark cried during their conversation and it killed me that she wasn’t talking to me instead. But now Lark and I had some time alone. Mom and Pop and Hank and Ramona could not have been cooler. They didn’t sweep the miscarriage under the rug or tell her something lame like the doctor had, “Well, you just have to try again.” Asshole. No, they came over, brought food for a few days, gave Lark lots of love and told her, “It’s in God’s hands, honey.” That seemed to be the best anyone could do or say.
The weather was great, still hot, and even at night you only needed a hoodie. Lark was sitting in the canoe while it was tethered to the small dock, wearing a huge brimmed hat and a Kelley green sundress. Her toes were painted a matching hue, propped up on the other seat.
“Mind if I join you?” I asked.
“Not at all,” she sa
id and moved her legs to make room for me.
I balanced the canoe as I stepped in and set down a small lunch I’d made for us. I untied it and took the oar from the bottom of the boat.
“Swear to God, Nico. This is right out of a movie; you rowing the canoe, me in my big hat, picnic lunch of wine and cheese.”
“Well, you got everything except the wine and cheese part right. I brought lemonade, ham sandwiches, and Cheetos.” I grinned. When we were out in the middle of the lake, I pulled in the oar.
I looked around at the beautiful pines, let the clean air fill my lungs, and told her, “This is where I wanted to propose. I had this big plan and something kept preventing me from getting us here. But now, I think it happened this way for a reason.” I took the letter from Martin out of my pocket and handed it to her.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Just read it.”
I listened as she read the letter aloud:
“Dear Nicolas…” I closed my eyes and let the words I had memorized move right through me, her voice choking out the last sentence when she reached the end. “Oh, Nico,” she cried and moved carefully into my arms. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“Why are you apologizing?” I asked as I held her arms to steady her.
“I don’t want to be sad anymore,” she sniffed.
“You can be whatever you want, babe. I brought you here because you’re my forever girl. Just like the letter asked. I have never brought another soul here, and I’ve had this place for years now.”
“Really?”
“I wouldn’t lie to you, Lark, and I especially wouldn’t lie about this.” I hoped she could see I meant what I said.
“I’m ready to try again, Nico.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, because there wasn’t anything I wanted more than to be intimate with her. I just wanted to feel that closeness. It was like I was on the outside of everything. It was happening to her, but I couldn’t do a damn thing to help, and I fucking hated it.
“I have this hurry up and wait thing going on right now. It’s like my body is telling me, ‘You better get working on that; you know what they say about a woman your age.’”
Nico Page 17