The two hadn’t had any more dreams since the last. It didn’t help that Depogare all but ignored that one, either. She needed confirmation that it happened, that he felt just as helpless about everything as she did. She needed reassurance and a little bit of guidance … anything to help her get through this. What she needed was a girlfriend she could trust. What she needed was Sophie.
Later that day, just before Jane expected dinner, Will barged into her room. She jumped in surprise and was grateful she had been dressed in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. She was currently braiding her hair to the side before reading a book, and by then, she hoped Brielle would be here with her dinner. Originally, she asked if she could go down to the dining hall, but Depogare said that was out of the question.
“Will!” Jane exclaimed, watching in shock as Depogare followed behind the shifter, muttering about how he couldn’t just barge into her room without asking, least of all without knocking, and what was this about.
Will’s whole body appeared tense. Even the lines on his face seemed deeper, as though he was stressed over something. His fingers were curled into fists, his hazel eyes narrowed solely on Jane. She felt accused of something, to be completely honest, but she wasn’t sure what he was accusing her of in the first place.
“What’s wrong?” she asked him, trying to keep her voice controlled. “What happened?”
“Where’s Sophie?”
Jane furrowed her brow. The question caught her by surprise. How was she supposed to know where Sophie was? Yes, the redhead visited her every day, but she hadn’t seen her today … which was odd, considering she normally stopped by just after lunch, giving Jane a couple of cookies or something else she swiped at the dining hall. She should have been here.
“She’s nowhere to be found,” Will continued, and Jane could tell he was trying to control his temper. His voice was strained and his knuckles were white. “She’s not in her room, not in the dining hall, she’s nowhere on campus. Hell, even that ex-boyfriend of hers has no idea where she is. So I’m here, asking you because if she told anybody in this school anything, it would be you.”
Depogare stood in the doorway, listening. He didn’t make any move to speak, didn’t make any move to kick Will out. His midnight blue eyes focused on Jane, waiting for her to speak on the issue.
“I … I don’t know,” Jane replied, and she hoped Will could tell she was being honest. “She hasn’t told me anything. I’m sorry, Will, but I have no idea where she could be.” She paused. “How do you know she’s not in her room?”
“I knocked and didn’t get an answer,” came his reply.
Jane gave him a look. “Oh, come on, Will,” she said. “You should know Sophie sleeps like she’s dead. A thunderstorm hurricane could be just outside, and she’d sleep through it, no problem. Did you actually go in the room and search it yourself?” Will shook his head slowly. “Okay, well try that. I’m not saying she’s in there, but you can at least try. And maybe, if she’s not there, she left some kind of clue of where she is.” Jane leaned back against her pillows and shook her head. “Can I ask you a question?”
Will nodded, but said nothing.
“When was the last time you heard from her?” she asked.
“This morning, at breakfast,” Will explained. “We always eat breakfast together.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little soon to be barging into closed doors and questioning recovering students on the whereabouts of another student?” Jane asked.
“I …” Will shook his head. “I just have a bad feeling.”
Jane paused. Will wasn’t the type of guy to trust his gut over his head. If anything, he liked having both at his disposal and only acted on it when both aligned. If that were the case, then maybe Sophie was in some sort of danger. Or, at the very least, missing. She knew Sophie would never leave for a duration of time without telling Jane or Will. At least one of them would be aware of what she was up to. But if neither of them knew and Sophie had been missing since breakfast …
Maybe Will was right to worry.
“Have you spoken to Ethan?” Depogare asked. Jane had nearly forgotten he was there, and surprised her to hear the strong concern in his voice, but then again, Depogare was always full of surprises. It brought back the dream and the way he touched her, the way he made her feel, and her emotions stirred because of how conflicted they were. Jane felt her face burn, and she had to look away from both instructors; she didn’t want either of them to read her mind, especially not the one who actually had the ability to.
“No,” Will said, shaking his head. “I didn’t want to raise the alarm, not when Ethan is knee-deep in the shit from Jane’s attack.” He looked back at Jane, who flushed even deeper at being mentioned. “You okay, kid?”
“I’m fine,” she answered, forcing herself to sound more confident than she felt. “Depogare won’t let me leave this room, let alone let me out of his sight. We need to focus on finding Sophie.” She pointed to the desk. “I think my dorm keys are in the top drawer. You have my permission to go in and check to see if you can find anything.”
“Thanks,” Will said, though everyone knew he didn’t need either of those things. Hell, if he sincerely believed Sophie was in danger, Jane was certain he’d tear the door down before realizing he had his own set of keys.
“Will you come back?” Jane asked. “Regardless of what you may or may not find? I just want to make sure Sophie is okay.”
Will nodded and headed over to Depogare. “I might need your help with this, depending on what turns up.” Jane knew that took a lot from Will—the shifter wasn’t the type to ask for help, not when he could do things himself.
“Of course,” Depogare replied. “Let me know what you need, and it’s yours.”
Will left without so much as an apology for barging in. Jane didn’t blame him. The man had a lot on his mind. It was clear just how much he cared for Sophie, to the point where he risked letting his feelings become known by a student and another instructor who was known to be both a tight-ass and a rule follower. If Depogare wanted to, he could have Will fired for the inappropriate behavior the shifter was exhibiting toward Sophie. And it wouldn’t even matter if Ethan supported the relationship or not; the law was the law. Even peculiars had to follow it.
Will’s presence left a deafening silence. Jane realized the two of them were finally alone, and Depogare was making no move to leave. At least not yet. The dream was still so vivid in her mind; the images flashing through her thoughts like an old movie she couldn’t believe she was actually a part of.
“What happened …” Depogare began, and it was only then that Jane realized she didn’t care what he had to say. It sounded harsh, yes, but it had happened, and that was all that mattered.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jane said, her gaze directed out the window. She couldn’t bring herself to look at Depogare, not yet at least. She wasn’t ready to see what was in his black eyes. She could read them better than he gave her credit for, and she didn’t want anything to be ruined. “It’s like I said, let me have this. You don’t need to tell me that it’s wrong, that it’s impossible. It happened.” She picked her eyes up so they looked on her professor. “And I enjoyed every minute of it. It might have been wrong, but the way you made me feel … The way I made you feel. That wasn’t wrong. And deep down you know it.”
Depogare swallowed, nodded his head once. “I know.” The words were little more than a whisper, but Jane closed her eyes at the sound of them, and she was so relieved, she could nearly cry.
“If things were different …” he began, but stopped himself.
Jane was glad. She didn’t want any excuses. It tainted what they had together. “They are what they are,” she said, “and, quite frankly, I’m sick of dealing with the same thing over and over again. Somehow, Will and Sophie are working whatever feelings they have for each other out. I know you’re right and we can’t be together, but I can’t be around you in this reality anymore
. It’s too painful.” She locked eyes with him again. “You have no idea what you want. And I can’t wait for you to figure it out.”
Depogare pushed his brow together, one of the few times he showed his confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do.” She swallowed and averted her eyes. “I can’t be around you anymore. I need to leave and stay with Brielle or someone. I’m in love with you, Daryl. And I know you love me, too. You just can’t admit it.”
“What would you like me to do, Jane?” he asked. “I cannot be with you. It could put my entire career in jeopardy.”
“Maybe,” Jane replied with a nod. “The thing is, you don’t have to keep telling me that. I understand. And it doesn’t even matter that I nearly died, does it? Because you’re still saying the same thing. You’re still playing the same song. You may be able to admit your feelings now, but you refuse to do anything about them. And I realize, I want to be with someone who sees me as worth taking a risk for. At the very least, you can tell me you love me and while we can’t be together right now, we can be in the near-future. I nearly died, and it’s still the same.” She shook her head, looking back at him yet again. “How silly of me to think something like near-death would get you to change.”
“Jane,” Depogare said, “don’t you feel you’re being a tad dramatic?”
Jane pursed her lips together. “Don’t come back for me, Daryl,” she told him. “When I’m better and I can leave, don’t come for me. I know we still have lessons together, and that’s fine, but if I faint, take me to Kessler. I can’t be alone with you anymore. I can’t stand it. I want to touch you and kiss you and call you by your first name, the way it’s supposed to be. I can’t keep pretending to just be your student anymore. I can’t do it.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying, we’re done.” Her eyes started to fill with tears that wouldn’t fall, but everything in her body indicated she was making the right decision. “I’m saying I need to move on. And that stuff I told you in our dream? How you’ll miss me so bad when I’m gone? You’ll realize it’s the truth.”
23
When Will returned to Depogare’s fifth-floor flat, Jane was dressed and out of bed. Her hair looked like it needed a good brushing—maybe that was why it was pulled up into a bun—and she wore jeans and a long-sleeved purple shirt. On her feet, were a raggedy pair of Converses the girl could afford to upgrade but apparently chose not to.
“Where’s Depogare?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Taking a shower,” Jane replied. She looked like she had trouble standing on her own two feet, her body angled to one side in an awkward manner. It seemed as though she tried to balance herself out, trying to position herself so she was in the least amount of pain. “Did you find anything?”
Will glanced at her from over his nose. “Jane,” he began, “do you really think you’re ready to get out of bed? What do you think you’re doing, anyway?”
“I want to help,” she said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. She hadn’t moved from where she stood; Will believed she didn’t want to move unless she had to. “Trust me, you’ll get more out of having two mentals rather than one. Plus, Sophie’s my best friend. Maybe even more than Elle. And I want to be there for her. Please.”
Will shrugged his shoulders. “If you think you can do it, I’m not going to stop you, kid,” he told her. “I just don’t want to hear you complaining, and there’s no way in hell I’m carrying you should you decide you’re unable to walk.”
Jane felt a smile light up her face. “Thank you,” she said genuinely, to the point where even Will felt uncomfortable. He wasn’t exactly sure what he did, but Jane seemed happy, and there wasn’t anything wrong with that.
“Does Depogare know you’re coming?” Will asked, quirking a brow.
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his body against the doorframe. His eyes glanced around, taking in the mint blue of the spare bedroom, the way Jane had made herself a nice, little home. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Sophie’s assumption that something was going on between her and the Aqua RH Director, but he knew without a doubt that Jane was the first person—let alone student—who was allowed to stay in here with Depogare. Will didn’t even think his Daryl’s own brother had even come to Catalina, let alone stay with him. Jane was different to him; Will just couldn’t say how.
“Not yet, no,” Jane answered. “And I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell me to stay. I know that’s what he’s going to say, and he might be right. I might not be able to move around just yet. But I need to get out of here. I’m going crazy. I want to show my family I’m okay so they can leave and get back to their divorce. I want to go back to my old room. I want my life back.”
“Lover’s spat?” Will asked, without thinking.
Jane’s eyes widened, as though she was surprised he even knew about her and Depogare. Thankfully, she didn’t deny it. She glanced at her feet, and muttered, “There can’t be a lover’s spat if we’re not lovers.”
“Can I tell you something, kid?” he asked. When she looked back at him, he continued. “Depogare has never let anyone stay with him before. Ever. I’m not condoning whatever it is or isn’t you guys have or don’t have, but you’re special to him, whether he says so or not. He’s never trusted anyone—not even his own brother—to sleep here in his flat. That’s a big deal for him. Whatever you think he doesn’t feel …” He rolled his eyes at himself, not fully believing that he was actually talking to a student about this. What the hell did Sophie do to him? “Look, okay? It’s different with you. You’re different. If you don’t believe anything else, believe that. Got it?”
Jane pressed her lips together to keep a smile from slipping onto her face. Will wasn’t sure if he had helped the situation or not, but she seemed pleased.
Goddammit, this is none of your business, a voice growled at him. Stop being so … romantic and focus on finding Sophie.
“Did you find anything?” Jane asked. She took a couple of steps toward him, and he gave her credit for not wincing each time she moved even though it was clear she wanted to.
It was then that Will remembered the search in her room. He was actually surprised how neat the two girls were, even though they were both females and organized in their own way. Will, however, completely tore up their room, throwing clothes every which way, messing up the beds, looking in drawers and in pages of books. In the end, all he found were two letters—both from Sophie’s mother, supposedly. After grabbing them from his back pocket and unfolding them for her, he handed the crumpled white pages to Jane.
“Do you know anything about this?” he asked. “It’s the only thing that might help us. They met at Fire Starter’s today for lunch, but clearly it’s past lunchtime.”
“Well, maybe they’re hanging out together,” Jane suggested. “If they haven’t seen each other in years, Will, it’s not uncommon for people to spend hours and hours catching up.”
“She would have told me,” he insisted. “She’s not the type to just go off without saying something, especially after what happened to you. She would have told me.” He paused. “It’s weird for me to admit, but I don’t have a good feeling about this.”
Before Jane could reply, Depogare walked in the bedroom, pushing past Will, completely wet. He wore nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, and his narrowed black eyes focused on Jane.
“What do you think you’re doing up?” he asked, his Southern accent heavy due to clear frustration. “Why are you dressed?”
“I’m coming with you,” Jane stated simply.
Will had to hand it to her; the girl had balls. To look Depogare in the eye and give him a face—a defiant face that all but dared him to challenge her, to tell her no—took more balls than one would imagine. And she pulled it off with ease. She didn’t even linger too long on his chest or his stomach, though her green eyes did check out his body.
To
be honest, Will had never seen Depogare without a shirt on. He was surprised at how fit the Aqua RH Director was. He wasn’t as stocky as Will was, but there was definite muscle that made up the lengthy body. And judging by the tattoos that littered the professor’s body—they looked Russian, if Will had to guess—Depogare also knew how to take care of himself, and they weren’t all conventional. Without realizing it, Will felt his respect for the man to grow, and he shifted his weight, not quite sure how he felt about it.
In fact, Will wasn’t sure why Depogare was running around without clothes on, knowing Jane was living in his flat. He didn’t seem to be the type that was comfortable with allowing people to see him so … vulnerable. Certainly, Will knew every man had needs and he knew Depogare—being a man—had them as well, but he couldn’t picture the man as the type to be vulnerable, have sex, or be tender and loving. Depogare was too isolated, too stoic, and couldn’t be social to save his life. Everyone on campus, including the students, knew he preferred his own company to everyone else’s. He didn’t go out of his way to make friends with his colleagues, and instead, kept to himself. The fact that Jane was given the opportunity to stay here, with him, alone …
Maybe Sophie was right. Maybe there was something going on between the two of them. It would make sense; the way they looked at each other, the way they spoke to each other. There was an electricity there, and anyone around them could feel it. There was no denying that. As a man, Will understood. As a professor …
He’d be a hypocrite to judge, now wouldn’t he? He just wanted to make sure Jane was okay with everything, that Depogare deserved someone like her. Because the thing about Jane was that she was just like Sophie: a one in a million type of girl. And if Depogare didn’t know that, well …
But Jane could take care of herself. She was a tough kid, and had already been through a lot. If she wasn’t broken because of it, there was no way someone like Depogare had the power to do so.
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