I had no pride left. Everything inside me was broken.
“I’m sorry, son. I cannot risk the pack for her. If she truly loves you, she will sever your bond, accept death on her terms and leave you to live your life.”
My heart almost stopped beating at the thought of her breaking our bond. I looked at my father and saw the pain in his eyes. He didn’t mean to be cruel, but his pack always came first.
I shuffled away from my father as Simon closed in on him. Voices raised in anger from both Simon and my father. I stared out the window. I was getting weaker and weaker and that wasn’t a good sign. If Breanna was pulling on me this hard, she must have been dying.
An eternity later the Elvin doctor emerged from the double doors. He pulled his surgical mask over his head and wiped his face with a green hospital towel.
I held onto the doorframe and braced for whatever he might say.
“She is out of surgery and we’ve moved her to a room.” The doctor paused, his sad blue eyes falling to me. “There is much internal damage. We did what we could, but her body is slowly shutting down.”
Celeste wailed and flung herself at Simon. Tears shone brightly in the eyes of the Bravo soldiers. I leaned against the wall. Otherwise I would have fallen.
“Can I see her?”
“She will not regain consciousness.”
My hands were shaking. “Can I see her?”
The Elvin doctor looked around uncomfortably at the scene before him. The room was full of vampires, werewolves, and one hysterical little elf, all grieving for a witch.
“Come with me.”
I didn’t look at faces as I made my way to the double doors. It was hard enough to put one foot in front of the other at this point. The doctor led me down a hall and into a sterile, whitewashed room. The sharp smells of antiseptic attacked my nose, but it was the beeping of the monitors that rattled my brain most.
We stopped outside the door. “I don’t mean to sound cold, Mr. Benelli, but I would suggest you say your goodbyes to her.”
With those words he walked away and left me in the hall alone, my hand resting on the door handle.
Nothing could have prepared me for the sight of her surrounded by machines, tubes in her mouth and nose. A respirator pumped beside her bed, three IV lines connected to her arms.
I pulled a chair beside her bed and delicately clutched her hand in mine. There were no words I could say, nothing. I pressed her hand to my face, silently pleading with her to open her eyes just once. There was no motion, no movement, nothing except the sounds of machines forcing air into her lungs.
The reality of the situation slammed into me like a ton of bricks. I wasn’t feeling her pull anymore. She was slipping away, slowly releasing our bond.
“Breanna, no, please don’t,” I sobbed. “Please don’t leave me.”
* * * *
I’d felt a little tap but there had been no pull on our mate bond in hours. If the heart monitor stopped beeping, I would crumble into a million pieces.
Galen sat beside me now. Simon had visited for a few minutes. Aaron and Christopher had also stuck their heads in the door but didn’t stay. Nobody was used to seeing Breanna weak. She was the rock all of us leaned on and now she was here, dying, because of us, because of me.
“How’s she doing?”
I bit my lip and tried to hold back the seemingly endless tears. “Not good.” My voice broke and I choked on the words. This couldn’t be happening.
Galen leaned closer and placed his hand over mine. “There are things you need to know.”
“What?” What could be so important now? Breanna was dying. What else mattered?
“We need to speak to Josef and to–” He paused before adding, “And Gemma.”
I had no idea who was in the waiting room. I hadn’t left Breanna’s side for three days. “I don’t know where they are,” I mumbled. My father had dropped by several times. My mother had not.
“I called them when my plane landed. They’re both in the waiting room.”
I pressed my lips to Breanna’s cold hand. “I can’t leave her. I don’t want her to be alone.”
Galen squeezed my hand. “This is important, Lucas, for both of you.”
“We will sit with her while you attend to these matters.” Simon said, standing with Celeste in the doorway.
I didn’t want to let go of her hand. I was afraid if I let go, she would slip away, but Galen was persistent. I pushed aside a tube and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be right back. Please don’t leave.”
I swiped at the tears and followed Galen into the waiting area. My mother and father were against the far wall and my mother looked like she’d seen a ghost when Galen faced her.
“McGregor, this is a foolhardy time to make a play,” my father growled.
Galen leveled a glare at my mother. “Gemma? You need to tell him the truth.”
Josef stepped nose-to-nose with Galen. “You will not address my mate in that tone.”
Galen never blinked. “Josef, we both know she isn’t your mate. Your chosen wife, perhaps, but not a bonded mate.”
The room was getting tipsy. One of the vampires offered a chair and I took it gladly.
“Tell him, Gemma. Tell your husband the truth about Lucas.”
“What the hell are you rambling about, McGregor?” my father roared.
There was a heavy silence in the air before Galen spoke. “Lucas is my son.”
My lungs imploded. My father launched himself toward Galen. My mother screamed. The wolves and vampires rushed in to separate the two big men. I slipped away from the chaos and went back to Breanna’s room. I didn’t understand what was going on, why Galen would think I was his son, or what the hell my mother was screaming. All I knew was that my world was slowly crumbling.
Celeste placed Breanna’s hand into mine before she and Simon quietly left us alone. I laid my head onto the bedside and tucked her hand under my chin.
“If you must go, take me with you,” I whispered. “I will not live without you.” I’d never meant anything more in my life. “Don’t break our bond.”
The door opened and the rush of Alpha dominance filled the room. Galen sat beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “I know this is a bad time for all this to come up, but you need to know the truth.”
I rubbed Breanna’s fingers along my cheek, wishing I was really feeling her touch. Never in my life had anything hurt as much as watching my mate slowly dying.
“Do you remember the night you defended Breanna and I stepped in to keep you from killing Zeke?”
I stared at her fingers. The world had gone black that night. My wolf had ascended and taken complete control.
“That was your wolf acknowledging mine. A son meeting his father. Have you felt surges of power these last few hours?”
I had. Those surges had saved my life a couple of times.
“Those were from me. How did I know you and Breanna were mated?”
I choked back a sob as I remembered that day. She had been so beautiful.
“I should have told you then, but I couldn’t risk a pack war with Josef without being completely sure. I’m sorry for everything you’ve gone through, but I can help now if you’ll trust me.”
This was all too much for me to take in. None of it mattered anyway.
“The wolf doesn’t lie, Lucas, and your wolf has known you were not Josef’s son just as Josef’s wolf has known it. That is why the two of you fight.”
Galen squeezed my shoulder. “I met your mother at a Gathering in Switzerland. I had no idea she was Josef Benelli’s wife. We spent the weekend together and I never saw her again. I’d felt tugs on my wolf for years, but every time I’d check, Cody was fine. Now I understand. It was you. You were reaching out for help, for your father. Josef didn’t feel it because you have no bond to him. You are bonded to me, as my son.”
“So?”
Galen’s power flashed through me. “The doctors say the power of a pa
ck can save her.”
Breanna’s hand felt colder.
“I can help you save her.”
I looked into his eyes and saw he spoke the truth. “How? How can you do that? She isn’t a part of your pack.”
“As my son, we share a bond. If you will lower your defenses and accept my pack, they will give you their strength as brothers. Because you are her mate, you can give that strength to her.”
“Josef hasn’t released me. I can’t join another pack.”
“You’ve never been a part of the Italian Pack. He doesn’t have to release you. You have no bond to him and you have never been accepted by the pack.”
“Your pack doesn’t want me.”
He tilted his head. “They don’t know you. You have kept so much hidden, so much pain buried. That is not natural for a wolf. A wolf should share his pain with his pack. You have never had that chance, but I am offering it to you now.”
“Why would they help me?”
He smiled sadly. “Because they love her.”
This could be it, a way to save her, a way to save us.
“What do I have to do?”
“Join my pack. Enough pack members are in the waiting room that we can perform the ritual there. You will need to submit to me as your Alpha and allow the pack into your soul.”
My breath caught in my throat.
“Yes, they will see everything that happened to you. They will see what you endured as a child. They will feel that pain just as you did, but it will help you heal. Once you have fully accepted them, their strength will flow through you and into Breanna.”
Simon and Celeste stayed with Breanna while I followed Galen into the waiting area. The pack had closed the doors and the members were shoulder to shoulder in a circle. Josef and Gemma were gone.
Galen led me to the center of the circle and I kneeled before him. He moved around behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. His power crashed through me as he lifted my chin. I saw the glint of a knife blade. This was a blood rite. He would cut my throat and heal me with the power of the pack before I bled out. It was an act of total submission and complete trust. If I did not allow the pack into my soul, I would die.
I drew in a sharp breath as he pulled my hands behind my back and secured them with silver cuffs. The silver would prevent my body from healing itself. It would also drain what little strength I had left.
The pack wolves surrounded me. I didn’t have the energy to panic. All I could think about was Breanna.
“I’m sorry, son, but this is the way it must be,” Galen rasped in my ear. I leaned against his legs so I wouldn’t topple over onto the floor. “If there was more time, I would do this more gently.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed hard. “I submit to you, my Alpha.”
The knife burned. Memories raced to the surface–dark pictures of Stephano, of the cell, of the headmaster, of Josef’s disappointment. Other images, foreign ones, flooded my mind as the pack bonds reached out. My memories belonged to them and their memories belonged to me.
Fire ripped through me, the pain almost unbearable. No air reached my lungs, my heart stuttered. The smell of my own blood enraged my wolf, but the silver kept him in check.
Breanna.
Icy coldness replaced the fire. My body convulsed, my wolf fighting to ascend. More voices floated through my head. The voices united into a chorus calling to me, pleading with me to find them.
Air rushed into chest. My stomach wretched, emptying my breakfast onto the floor.
“Lucas?”
Far away, Galen called to me, to my wolf. I wanted to go to him. He would make the world right. My Alpha. My father.
“Lucas? Son?”
Galen was closer now. I could feel him. All I could see was empty blackness, but he was there, waiting. Others were there, too. For the first time in my life, acceptance surrounded me, a cocoon of serenity. Strength flooded my body. Precious warmth flowed through my veins. It felt like dozens of hands reached for me, pulling me out of the darkness toward my Alpha.
My pack.
My eyelids fluttered open, the light painfully bright. I faltered, hurdling face-first toward the floor, but the hands once again reached for me, held me, helped me.
My brothers.
The silver cuffs clattered away from my wrists.
“Lucas, take my hand.”
My muscles were mush. The simplest motion impossible.
The world came into focus. The pack wolves surrounded me, their heads bowed as they gently urged me to my feet. More strength poured through my body, pushing away the insecurities and doubts that had so long plagued my mind. I was stronger than ever before.
My brain function resumed, my muscles recognizing the signals to move.
I reached for Galen’s hand. The pack wolves steadied me until Galen’s fingers grasped mine.
“Welcome, my son.”
The surge of emotion surprised me. I blinked at him, unable to put into words the powerful feelings of acceptance.
He placed a hand behind my head and pulled me close.
“Go to your mate, Lucas,” he whispered. “We’ll be here waiting for you.”
Every step toward her room was a feat in concentration. My muscles and brain were not fully communicating yet, but each time I felt myself falling, another wave of strength pushed me forward. The pack bonds were like hundreds of tiny fingers tapping on my skull, demanding acknowledgement. Another wave of strength, this one much more powerful than the rest, quieted the barrage of noise.
My Alpha.
I pushed open her door, praying she would be sitting up in bed, smiling as I walked in.
Simon and Celeste rose from their chairs.
“Did she wake up?”
Tears flowed freely down Celeste’s cheeks. “She hasn’t moved since you left.”
I sank onto the chair. Breanna should have been awake by now. Galen had promised the pack bonds would help.
Alphas kept their promises.
I tucked her hand against chin and willed her to feel the strength of the pack. Power ebbed and flowed through my body. I clenched my eyes closed and concentrated on the feel of her skin against mine. To my last breath, I would give everything to save her.
Her fingers twitched. It was a tiny movement, nothing more than a brush of butterfly wings, but I felt it. I pressed her hand to my lips.
“Please, Breanna. Please come back.”
The incessant beeping of the heart monitor increased. I panicked.
“Bre? You feel that, don’t you? Those are pack bonds. Our pack, baby. We’re all waiting for you to come back to us. We all need you. I need you.”
My voice cracked. The monitor leveled off and the beeping resumed its former steady rhythm.
“I’m a Wisconsin Pack wolf now. There’s so much I want to tell you, but you need to wake up. Find your way back here. Do whatever it takes, but please come back.”
Her fingers did not move again. I laid my head on the mattress and pressed her hand against my cheek. I would not go on without her. There was not enough power in the pack to make my life worth living without her.
The beeping monitor sped up again. I squeezed her fingers, doing everything I could to hold her in this world. I would not let her go without a fight.
The doctor came in and sat in the chair beside me. I’d never been around many elves, but the bitter scent of sadness clung to him.
“We’ve done all we can do. It’s time to let her go.”
My heart shattered.
The doctor thinned his lips. “I’m sorry, Lucas. I wish there was more we could do, but the damage was too extensive for us to repair. The kindest thing we can do now is let her go peacefully.”
“Breanna is a fighter,” I rasped, staring into her face. I’d do anything for her to open her eyes and give this doctor a piece of her mind for giving up on her.
“She was a fighter, but this was a fight she could not win. We need to take her off the respirator and all
ow nature to take its course. That is what Breanna would have wanted.”
The Elvin doctor had no idea how close he was to being ripped to pieces. He did not know her and had no right to tell me anything about what she would want.
“She hasn’t given up. Neither have I.”
“At least allow me to remove the feeding tube. It is irritating her throat tissue. We can keep the IVs and supply her body with nutrients.”
I wasn’t ready to let her go, but what if the doctor was right? Was I being selfish in keeping her here, trapped in a body ravaged by pain?
“If I remove the tube from her throat, she will be able to talk if she wakes.”
The tone of his voice made it clear the doctor had no hope Breanna would ever wake up. He did not know her.
I talked to Simon and Celeste before finally agreeing with the doctor’s request. They both felt Breanna would not want to live like this, bedridden and machine dependent. They hadn’t completely given up hope, but they heard the doctor’s spiel about the chances of brain damage and regaining consciousness.
Breanna was strong. She would come back.
I scarcely breathed when the respirator was unplugged. The heart monitor never lost its rhythm. The doctor had the decency to look mildly surprised.
The hours blurred together. The only sound in my world was the beeping. Pack wolves came and went. Celeste and Simon ventured in and out. Galen tried to get me to go eat, but I would not leave her.
My body gave in to sleep at some point. I woke with a start, terrified by the silence in the room.
No beeping.
“Hey, handsome? You’re breaking my fingers.”
I jerked my head up and found myself staring into the most incredible amber eyes.
“Breanna?”
“Expecting somebody else?” she asked with a weak smile. “That beeping was getting on my nerves and you needed to sleep so I hit the mute button.”
My chin trembled as I pressed my lips to her wrist.
“I feel like I got hit by a truck.” She brushed her fingers along my jaw. “And you look like hell. You’ve been here the whole time, haven’t you?”
I cupped her hand in mine. I would never let her go again. “The doctor didn’t think you’d make it.”
Her eyelids fluttered and she scowled. “Stupid elves. Cee’s the only one I ever met with the sense to come in out of the rain.” She frowned. “Well, except for Lisel, but I’m not convinced he’s one-hundred-percent elf. Lot of magic around him.”
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