by Liz Long
“I don’t need a new outfit.” The pillow muffled sound, but I could hear her opening my window blinds.
“Sure you do. And if you don’t want to go, let me put it this way: I do my very best to play an ostrich with her head in the sand when it comes to your…activities.”
I stiffened underneath my comforter as she paused. It was the first time she’d ever acknowledged it.
Mom cleared her throat and continued. “But tonight’s a fun experience for every normal teenage girl and you’re going to let your mother be excited about it.”
I laughed into the mattress and the covers were yanked off me. “Okay, okay!” I finally sat up to look at the big grin on her face. Even though I knew it was probably a little forced, I had to admit, we both deserved a good day.
Three hours, we decided to get lunch before heading back home. I was exceptionally pleased with my new outfit, plus a killer pair of combat boots that I planned to wear during my nights out. We mostly discussed school and some of her lesson plans, but when our meals arrived, she leaned in to give me a little smile.
“So you are excited, right? About the big date with Andy?”
“Sure I am,” I said, stuffing a fry in my mouth. “It’s a little strange, to finally have a date again. It’s not real yet, ya know?”
She gave a little laugh. “You don’t seem as excited as I thought you’d be.”
“I’m probably more nervous than excited. Plus I can’t help but think he only asked me because of what I did.”
Mom’s eyes darkened and while my immediate reaction was to hurriedly change the topic, I decided to face it head on.
“I still don’t regret it and I’d do it again, for anyone. And even if he asked me out because he genuinely wanted to, I know I’d still feel the same amount of excitement. My priorities have changed a little in the last few months, is all.”
“You should have normal high school experiences, Nova. What you’re doing, that’s not what normal kids do,” she said but I cut her off.
“I’ve never been normal.”
She gave me a sad half-smile. “I used to worry about you all the time when you were little. You were so fearless and never thought about being careful. Even though you never broke a bone, didn’t even scrape a knee, I worried for your safety. I worried what people would think if they found out. It still applies, especially here, knowing about this strange new world you’re a part of and that Fortune is still a threat.”
I blinked in surprise, forgetting about the fries. “Is that what this is about? The shopping, the lunch, it was a way to talk about how you don’t like what I’m doing?”
Her head shook quickly from side to side. “Your dad’s right. We can’t stop you from going after Fortune, which means we should support you the best we can. But that doesn’t mean I won’t worry to death about you.”
“I know. I hear that’s natural for moms and their kids.” I smiled at her to try and ease the tension. After a second, she returned the small smile.
“I want to make sure you’re happy,” she said. “No matter what’s happened, we have to move forward with our lives and you deserve every bit of happiness possible.”
“I’m happier now than I’ve been in months, if it counts for anything,” I said after swallowing a bite of sandwich. “My stress method isn’t exactly what you’d call conventional, but it helps me. I think it’s helping the city a little bit, too. It’s not the most normal hobby, but it’s kinda growing on me.”
“Are you saying you want to continue this lifestyle?” Her eyes widened in shock at my shrug.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead. It’s important to me and I want to make a difference, so maybe.”
“What about college? Getting out of Arcania for a while and becoming a lawyer? Those things have all changed, too?”
“I’m still going to college!” Assuming anyone accepts me, that is. I shook that thought out of my head for the time being. “I can’t think past Fortune, Mom.”
“And what happens if you don’t catch him? If he goes to another city or this continues through the next year or whatever, what happens then? Do you still stay here, do you follow him to another state instead of go to school? What’s your big plan?”
Mom’s voice grew more heated with each question she threw at me. A knot formed in my stomach. I knew my face showed helplessness, as well as a strong desire to get out of this restaurant. How this had gone from a pleasant mother-daughter shopping day to an attack on my future after Fortune, I had no idea.
“Mom, please.” Her face softened and I jumped on the offensive. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, to me or Fortune or anyone else. I can’t answer any of those questions.”
A deep sigh came over her and I could tell the worst of the argument had passed. Sure, she wanted me to go to college, but she also didn’t want me dying, so I could see her side of things. College was a decent way of bringing it up, but I knew it was mostly her worrying about me, a natural thing for any mother. I couldn’t really be mad at her for that.
“I never considered you wouldn’t get out of here after graduation,” she said. “You should get away from here; there’s too much pain.”
“I guess I thought it would all be over by that point.”
“No matter what happens, it’s going to get worse before it gets better,” she replied in a grim tone. She motioned to the waiter for our check and didn’t say much on our way home.
The rest of my afternoon went to homework and a run on the treadmill. As I got ready for the date, I turned on some music and started a bubble bath. Right after I slipped into the tub, my phone vibrated from the tile floor. Careful to keep my hands dry, I scooped up it up and checked to find a new text message from Cole.
Hey. How’s ur day?
A stupid grin spread across my face. His text might be meaningless, but he was sweet to ask. He’d been occupying my thoughts more and more lately. I didn’t want to add boy drama to my increasingly complicated life, but I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t my fault he was cute and sweet, not to mention brave and powerful. How could anyone blame me?
Good! Mom and I went shopping. U?
He responded within thirty seconds. Pen dyed my hair pink.
I burst into laughter at the image of Cole’s white blond locks as neon. How? What’d u do?
Food coloring-she likes pranks. Says it’s cuz I’m boring.
I disagree :) How long will it last? I couldn’t imagine playing pranks on Starling. She’d always been too little. Guess it was different when you were close in age. Either way, Penelope struck me as a bit of a spiteful little sister. My phone buzzed again.
Til I shower. Glad u wont see me looking like a cartoon.
I snorted. Too bad.
We going out 2nite?
My heart skipped a beat before I realized he referred to bullying the bad guys. I grimaced, not wanting to lie to Cole about my date with Andy. I didn’t know what I felt for Cole, but it wasn’t platonic. Sorry I have plans. 2mrrw?
Ok. U going to party?
My fingers flew over the screen. What party?
Brittany’s. Amber told me.
Maybe. U?
A flat out lie, since I had no idea what party he meant. He’d probably go since I bailed on going downtown, right? A full minute passed and I glanced at my phone, surprised. He’d been responding within mere seconds and now nothing? I swallowed my disappointment; I’d agreed to a date with Andy. It wasn’t fair to be flirting with some other guy an hour before he picked me up.
I stayed in the tub, staring at my ceiling. The water had cooled several degrees when I finally got a text back. My stomach in knots, I took a deep breath before reading it.
Hope to see u there!
I let out a growl of frustration. All that wait for that? What did I say to make him go from hot to cold? I stared at the text message as though willing it to change, but that insultingly general reply remained.
I got out and dressed, did my hair an
d makeup, and still had thirty minutes to spare. Too nervous to watch TV or read, I read and reread my texts with Cole, overthinking every possible scenario to make him turn off that way. Closer to eight o’clock, I went upstairs and hovered near the front door, hoping I could avoid my parents when Andy arrived.
When Andy’s headlights shone in the window, I moved as though I were being chased by that Runner. Heading to the door, I slung my purse over my shoulder and shouted, “Andy’s here, gotta go! See you guys later!”
I heard faint protest from my parents in the kitchen and hurried out to the car before they came down. Andy grinned as I hopped in.
“I would’ve met you at the door,” he exclaimed.
“I didn’t want to subject you to the Counselor’s questioning. He tends to confuse then attack in his interrogations.” I shut my door and buckled the seatbelt.
Andy laughed. My phone vibrated and for a split second, I hoped it was Cole. My smile faded when I saw it was from my mom.
Nice escape. Meeting him next time. Have fun, wear your seatbelt! Love you!
I had to bite back a laugh. No matter how unbreakable I might be, my mother would always remind me to wear my seatbelt. She wanted so badly for me to be normal.
“Hey, you like country?”
Before I could tell him I preferred pop, Andy began naming bands I’d either never heard of or tried my hardest to avoid. I had to refrain from wrinkling my nose at several of his inclusions. I feigned interest as he finished his list. Henry would laugh at some of the bands Andy listened to, but he was one of those indie hipsters. I had no idea who he listened to, either.
As far as music went, I could respect the craft, sure, but I didn’t want to be forced to listen to it. I felt sure they’d feel the same way about my pop music.
“We should listen to them right now,” he said enthusiastically.
“I don’t really know who they are.” I tried to convey my hint without sounding bossy. “We could try something on the radio.”
“Yeah, but I really love these guys. Just a couple songs. They’ll grow on you.” He switched his CD player on, then buckled up.
Instead of talking to me, Andy sang the lyrics almost as off-key as the singer. Out of the blue, he seemed to remember his passenger and quit singing. The awkward silence was killing me and I struggled to find a common topic.
“So what were you thinking of doing?”
“Brittany’s parents are out of town, so she’s having a party. It’ll be a good time.”
“I figured you might want to see the new action flick.” I’d been betting we’d go which would’ve been great. I liked action movies and he’d think I was cool for wanting to see it.
“I made plans with Jeff and Ty to see it tomorrow.”
“Oh, um…okay.” I stared hard at my hands, cursed myself for bending to peer pressure. I wanted this to be a fun night. I hadn’t partied with anyone in almost a year and I had little interest in getting drunk when Fortune was on the loose.
Andy’s inner child reared as he whined at my reaction. “I promise it’ll be fun! Sounds like everyone will be there. We can dance and I’ll teach you how to shotgun a beer. My brother taught me when I helped him move back to college last month.”
He flashed me a grin and I attempted a weak return, wondering if he barreled over all his dates this way. His good looks wouldn’t be enough to cover up the immaturity if this kept up. Whenever our eyes met, I found myself thinking about Cole’s golden pair instead.
We pulled up to Brittany’s house, parked behind the dozens of other cars that lined the street. Andy took my hand to lead the way and I followed him inside and through the crowd. His hand gripped tighter on me as he turned his head to give me a big, confident smile. I returned the smile, hoped to feel excitement over something I’d wanted for so long. Instead I felt nothing. This time last year, I’d daydreamed of his hand enveloping mine, of being his date to one of these parties. Why don’t I feel all the butterflies like before?
Elbows nudged me as people jostled for standing room. I had to keep myself from shrinking away from them. I felt more comfortable in the shadows of downtown Arcania now. Uneasiness came over me at a disturbing thought.
Have I let Fortune take over every aspect of my life?
Surely I could try to enjoy a date, maybe party like I used to. I forced a smile on my face and made it stick.
We rounded the corner into the kitchen. People greeted us with enthusiasm, especially Andy; while everyone nodded or smiled at me, Andy lapped up the attention, high-fiving anyone within reach. Someone handed Andy two unopened cans of beer and we leaned against the kitchen counter to crack them open.
“Hey Andy, hi Nova,” Amber said as she walked up to us. She shot Andy an approving glance with a big knowing smile at me. She’d been on the receiving end of way too many “Nova likes Andy” texts last year.
I greeted her with a big smile, relieved I could talk with someone I knew. “You look fabulous.”
“Thank you,” she said, brown eyes lighting up at the compliment. Amber always had been one of the best-dressed in our class. She smoothed her hands out over her revealing top. “I bought this today, actually.”
“It’s great,” I promised, “the boys won’t know what hit ‘em.”
“Just the one, I hope,” she said with a giggle. She looked back to find her date and my good mood crashed somewhere around my knees.
My stomach turned when Cole walked in behind her. He stood next to her and nodded at Andy. He gave me a vague smile that I didn’t understand, but when Amber put her hand on Cole’s arm, it hit me like a truck.
“Oh, hey,” I said to them. Them, as in a date. I remembered his text. Amber told me. My hands went into fists, my fingernails cutting into my palms in anger. Between the disappointing date with Andy and now those two here together, I kinda preferred spending my nights facing danger in Arcania’s streets.
Give me a smelly old mugger any day over this.
Andy greeted Cole with a high-five. I didn’t miss Andy’s appreciative eyeful of Amber’s low cut top. My lip curled up in annoyance, but it wasn’t directed at Andy. Jealousy coiled in my stomach and I tried to keep it down as I looked at Cole. I felt pretty dumb, never wondering if Cole might be into someone else.
“Penelope here?” My tone remained neutral.
“Nah, said she had a migraine.” His shoulders went up once and dropped down. “They tend to lay her out for a day or two. She’s unpleasant to be around right now.”
“More so than usual?” I remained stone-faced, but he chuckled. Amber loudly cleared her throat.
“Let’s go dance, Cole,” she said. Her fingers ran up and down his arm playfully as she eyed him. I downed half my beer in one gulp and Andy discreetly took a long swallow to keep up.
“I’m not, uh…I don’t really dance,” Cole said apologetically. He took a sip of his beer. Looking down at his feet, he shifted from side to side.
Amber pouted, curving her shoulders in slightly to accentuate her cleavage. I was now sick to death of seeing her boobs and wished she’d put them away. A huff escaped me and Andy glanced down at me.
“Want a tour of the house?” A rakish grin spread across his face and I knew right away I did not want to see any upstairs bedrooms or naked appendages. Instead, I decided to see if my instincts were right.
“Actually,” I said, lowering my eyes and looking up at Andy through my lashes, “I thought you could teach me that shotgun thing you mentioned earlier in the car.”
I mimicked Amber, putting my hand on Andy’s arm. He lit up, immediately going to the fridge for two more cans, but my satisfaction came from the look on Cole’s face. I couldn’t tell if he was jealous or annoyed, but either way, it wasn’t indifferent. That said enough for me.
Amber attempted to whisper god-knows-what in Cole’s ear, but he only had eyes for me and Andy, who now tried to teach me his new college drinking game.
“Hey Andy,” he said, still eyeing me,
“grab me one too. I could learn a new party trick.”
“Ooh, me too!” Amber squealed. “It’s been a long week. I plan on getting wasted tonight!”
I didn’t miss the suggestive look she sent Cole but I couldn’t help but snort into my beer. I’d seen Amber wasted and would be impressed if she didn’t throw up, much less have alone time with Cole afterward. I loved the girl, but she was impossible to move once she hit her limit and passed out.
After two rounds, Cole called it quits. Amber egged me on and after another round, she and Andy both feigned boredom and quit, too. Amber tried to hide her swaying by leaning on the counter; I hid a grin and turned to Andy.
“Nice of your brother to teach you.”
“His frat throws the best parties.” Andy gave me an amazed look. “You can really drink. I can’t believe you’re still standing.”
“Didn’t develop a problem over the summer, did you?” Amber asked, her speech slurred. Despite being well on her way to drunk, she immediately looked regretful. “Sorry, Nova, that joke wasn’t funny.”
“It’s okay. I’m actually going to use the restroom if you’d point me in the right direction?”
“Down the hall. You’ll see the line of girls,” Amber said. “Cole, please let’s dance?”
I turned on my heel and headed for the bathroom before he could reply. I stood in line for over five minutes, listening to two juniors gossip. One of them got brave enough to talk to me.
“You’re Nova, right? Are you here with Andy?” When I nodded, she looked at me in awe. “You’re lucky, he is so hot. You really saved his life?”
“Um, I guess.” If that included a giant shove in the road. I took another large drink from my can.
The girl’s friend spoke up. “That was so brave. He was lucky you were there.”
“She means we’re lucky you saved Andy so she can keep looking at him from a distance,” the first girl said. She giggled as her friend playfully swatted at her.
To my relief, they turned back to their conversation and left me to my own thoughts. After I slipped into the bathroom, I had to convince myself I couldn’t hide in there forever. I found Andy in a beer-chugging contest with some of the football players. Before he saw me, I headed outside for fresh air.