After a few minutes of silence, he said, “Toots, I’m sorry. I didn’t know we were that loud. No reason to throw a fit.”
“Whatever, I’ll be out of here as soon as I can find a place. I’m going to university housing again tomorrow.”
He got up from the floor. “You don’t have to do that. I had no idea it would bother you if a friend and I have a little fun in the living room. It won’t happen again.”
“Don’t start with me. I’m not even slightly in the mood for your bullshit.”
“Whoa, language. What happened to the proper little student I met in art class?”
“Not spending my nights writhing on some strange guy’s couch doesn’t make me a proper little student.”
“No, but doing all your homework every day before you have any fun and spending half your afternoons in the library does.”
“How do you know where I spend my afternoons?”
“I’ve seen you around.” He grinned and was obviously pleased with himself for knowing how I spent my days.
“Not in class, that’s for sure. And not in the library. Do you even know where it is?” Every word was a sharp little tack that I hurled at him. There was no reason to be this angry, but something was driving beyond irritation into outright rage.
“You might want to take your nose out of your books and look around once in a while, Toots. Life is passing you by.”
“I don’t need any advice from you.” I stormed toward the bedroom with the CD in my hand.
“Hey, wait, I’m sorry. Really,” he said to my back. “It won’t happen again. I’m not trying to make things harder for you, but I’m not used to house guests. Cut a guy some slack. I just wasn’t thinking. “
I turned and said, “You were thinking about the only thing you ever think about.”
“C’mon, Elana, I’m sorry. Let’s start over and make a plan to work on that drawing project.”
“Talk to me tomorrow. You can check your calendar for a break in your busy schedule of sex with randoms and partying.” I slammed the bedroom door and flopped onto the bed. He was an unbelievable ass.
For the rest of the week, I had peace and quiet every night. My fantasies of Jaxon subsided with my anger. He was home more, but I went to bed early to avoid him. He didn’t try to talk to me so it made it much easier.
Quiet.
Beautiful.
Solitude.
Chapter 8
A week passed and again something woke me out of a sound sleep. Sounds were coming from the living room again and I woke up ready to muzzle him and his random guest. Rolling over, I notice the clock said 7:00 AM.
I climbed out of bed and made my way to the living room. The smell of eggs greeted me in the hallway. Jaxon leaned over the counter, holding a spatula, smiling at me.
“How do you like your eggs, hard boiled, scrambled, or over easy?” he asked. “Never mind, I know the answer—over easy.”
It wasn’t possible to think about how he knew my egg preference, because he was wearing basketball shorts but no shirt. I was too busy staring at the muscles in his back as he flipped the eggs. I started wishing our art class was sculpture instead of drawing. It would be nice to have an excuse to run my hands over every inch of his body.
“What do you want with your eggs, Toots?”
Everything looked and smelled delicious.
Everything.
Even the food.
I wasn’t much of a chef and tended to eat salads and sandwiches on the go. My mouth watered at the sight of fresh bacon.
I sat down on the stool that was next to the counter bar. I rested on my elbows while he continued to cook.
“So how's school?” Jaxon asked.
“What?” It was tough to hear him over my heartbeat. “It's going okay. I finally finished my history paper and had time to read an entire book for fun.”
He handed me a hot cup of coffee. “How's, uh, whatever you do going,” I asked, staring at his defined back and legs.
“Racing? It’s been great,” he said. He flipped my egg with a flick of his wrist. It was clear that he was one of those annoying people that do many things well. “Lance and I have been into it since high school. I love to drive and he loves to work on cars, so we’re a perfect match. It's a great sport, don't ya think?”
“If you like that sort of thing,” I said, turning to grab a piece of bacon from the plate in front of me.
I didn’t want to hear about his conquests or his partying and couldn’t think clearly to come up with other topics.
“This is nice, really nice,” I said, nibbling on my bacon.
“You got that right. Nothing says breakfast like eggs, grease and a lifeless piece of meat,” he said holding a piece of raw bacon at one end.
He turned back to the stove, tossing it in the pan, and said, “It's kind of like having sex. It's messy and greasy during the act, but you're full and satisfied by the time you finish.”
I couldn't help but laugh. “You never give up, do you? Don’t you get bored with it after a while?”
“Sex? Toots, if you’re getting bored with it, you’re not doing it right.”
“Sex with random girls you pick up. Not sex in general.”
“These girls come on to me. I don’t lure them back here with promises of happily ever after. I’m a guy. We are biologically engineered not to turn away free sex. You can’t expect me to fight nature, can you?” He was a pig, but he was kind of charming anyway.
“Ah, the nature made me do it excuse? Seems a little uninspired if you ask me.”
“There you go again. I’m worried about you, Toots. It hurts me to know that you think sex is boring and uninspired. I feel like I should help you out. We could have this breakfast in bed.”
I smiled but shook my head to say no.
“It's a joke!”
“Yeah, after I turn you down it’s a joke. I’m not that interested in someone else’s leftovers Jax,” I said, wrapping a finger around a lock of hair.
He was about to say something, which would likely have been a come on, when Tiffany and Lance walked through the front door without knocking. “Looks like we're just in time,” Lance said as he grabbed some bacon.
“Whoa, hands off my meat, buddy,” Jaxon said. Looking at me, he added “Leave some for other people. Give me a minute, and you'll want more sausage," He stuffed a log of sausage into his mouth. He then took it out and pretended to smoke it like a cigar. "Can't you see I'm smoking hot, Toots?"
“Jaxon, please. I'm eating,” I said, looking down to hide my smile.
“Don’t get full before you try my sausage,” Jaxon said, pushing the sausages off the skillet and onto the plate with a spatula.
“Man, you never give up,” Lance laughed.
“Do these lines work on girls?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.
“They do and I don't know how,” Lance said.
“Pathetic, huh,” Tiffany added. “I have no idea what they see in him.”
“No idea?” Jaxon asked, flexing his left arm and strutting around the kitchen.
“I’m surprised they can see past the ego to notice anything else,” Tiffany joked.
“This is nice. It’s very unlike you, Jax. I don’t remember you cooking us breakfast before. Trying to impress someone?” Tiffany asked.
The statement made me blush. I put my head down to conceal my red cheeks and poked at my breakfast. What had gotten into him since the night Amber left? He slept alone in the apartment almost every night that week. The recycling bin wasn’t sprouting more bottles either. I wondered how long the New Improved Jaxon would last. Tiffany looked at me as I continued to eat. "Enjoying that sausage, Elana?" she asked. "Nothing better than morning wood!" Tiffany grinned, eyeing Lance with a smirk.
"Oh, ha ha, Tiff. " I smirked. "You're all sick, you know that."
I couldn't believe this was happening. Jaxon slung himself lazily back into his chair and put his feet on the table. Thunder rolled and a final clap
gave way to pounding rains. The loft on the apartment was pounded with rain and the palm trees swayed in the wind surrendering to the storm. The winds seemed to pick up by the minute until rain was pounding the window like sheets. All I could see was a blur. The storm grew more violent and Jaxon got up to look out the window. I turned and looked out at the rain. The wind was whipping.
"It's just rain Toots, nothing to worry about," Jaxon said, walking behind me and cupping my shoulders.
I turned and smiled. "I know. We have it in Iowa too.”
“I know but you looked scared.”
“I’m not. By the way, thanks a lot for not bringing a bunch of drunk girls to the apartment the past few nights," I said.
Jaxon’s dead silence alerted me that there was another side to the story. My brown eyes turned suddenly fierce.
"Oh my god, are you kidding me?" I raged. "I should have known. I swear I should have known."
He looked at me as if to put me in my place. "Why does it matter? You do remember that you said we were just friends, don't you? You said to be quiet next time so I was," he said, crossing his arms. He sat and slouched in the wooden chair.
The statement made me pause. My face went stone cold. "Well, yes. But…"
There was always a "but" in my conversations. I had an uncanny way of changing my opinions at the flick of a switch.
"First, you want nothing to do with me. Then, you are angry that I was sleeping with other girls. Then, wasn't happy to not hear from me at all," he said. "You're fucking messing with me."
I looked at Tiffany and Lance who were sitting in silence and exchanging worried looks.
"The only way you could be mad at me is if you liked me," Jaxon said. "Unless you…" A smile curved my lips. He pointed a finger toward me and grinned. "You do like me. You're just too chicken shit to tell me. I know your game."
"Hey, don't you ever liken me to poultry?" I said, feeling suddenly scared that the truth was out.
It was official.
I liked him.
I really liked him.
And now he thought he knew it. I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t need a distraction from school.
"Some things just aren't meant to stay under wraps," he smiled at me. "There comes a point when you have to stop playing games."
"Look who's talking!" I exclaimed, poking a finger in the air. "Mr. I'm awesome and Mr. Knock him out is giving me a speech."
"You like me, Toots."
"No, I don't," I chuckled.
"Then, why is this making you laugh?"
He did have a point there, but I wasn't about to admit my affections. My eyes floated over his tattoos, his bulging muscles, and his entire body. I liked a man who could cook, and he totally fit the bill in that department. If there was any question left in my mind, it was whether or not he liked me. He was a distraction.
I tried to convince myself of this anyway.
I wasn't attracted to him.
His tattoos are disgusting.
His arms just look lumpy.
I tried desperately in vain to convince myself that I was not interested. Was I really that gullible? Why was I falling into the same trap that so many other girls had over and over again?
"Maybe we should leave you two lovebirds alone," Lance said, patting Jaxon's back.
Tiffany laughed. "Seriously? Just be friends," she said, her finger bouncing from Jaxon to me back and forth.
"Don’t say that! It's only going to make him want her more," Lance responded.
"You can't stop the inevitable," Jaxon whispered.
I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to class," I said, grabbing my bag from the living room floor and heading out in the light rain.
I had a lot of studying to do and headed to the library with my books and my headphones. It took a while to get there because I waited under the bus stop overhang until the light rain turned to sprinkles. When I finally got to the library I found a quiet corner and pulled out my laptop. My hair smelled faintly of bacon when it fell across my face. It triggered images of my shirtless chef.
He was like a tattooed model.
It took longer than usual to get my mind on my homework. My morning had been so pleasant. The four of us were like a family, laughing, chatting and sharing a meal.
My mom used to make big Sunday breakfasts. Tiffany would come over, and my mom and dad would spend half the day sitting on the couch, sharing the newspaper, her head resting on his chest, and his feet on the coffee table. It was one of the traditions I missed the most after she died. Jaxon’s breakfast was the first time it seemed possible to find something like that again.
I put my head down and tried to understand my chemistry notes. After an hour, I wasn’t any closer to absorbing the information. I was too distracted and the wind throwing rain against the windows made me crave a hot shower and a long nap. I grabbed my history notes, hoping they would be easier to digest.
After a few chapters, I felt a hand on my shoulder and a drop of water fell on my notebook. I tugged my headphones off and looked up to see Jaxon smiling down at me. He was wearing a fitted gray, V-neck T-shirt, soaked with rain water, plastering the fabric to his ripped body. The image was not helping my concentration.
“How’s the studying, Toots? Figure out the meaning of life yet?”
“I’d settle for the meaning of my chemistry homework.” I closed my book and put it on the desk. My hair was a mess from the rain, wind, and my headphones, so I tried to smooth it with my hand. “What’re you doing here?”
“I have a paper due in poli-sci this week. No pain, no gain.” He looked at my notes. “I’d be happy to give you some help with chemistry. I’m practically an expert.”
“It’s not that kind of chemistry Jax. And how’d you know where to find the library anyway,” I teased.
“I told ya, Toots. Look up once in a while. You’re not the only one that studies, you know.”
I assumed he didn’t do much school work since he was gone so often and never in class. However, I didn’t really know his studying habits. Maybe I jumped to the wrong conclusions about him.
“We’ve still gotta work on that art project,” he said.
“Yeah, right. Whenever’s good for you. We only have a couple weeks until it’s due,” I replied.
“Well, I’ve got to work on this paper, but maybe later this week. Are you all right, you’re looking at me funny?”
“No, yeah. I mean, me too. I have work, too. So, whenever.”
“Are you blushing?”
“Of course not,” I blurted. Several people turned to shush me. Lowering my voice, I said, “You’re imagining things. It’s probably an allergic reaction to your cologne or something.”
He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “I’m not wearing any. See you at home, Toots.” He gave me a peck on the cheek and walked away, smiling to himself.
Why was I such an idiot? It wasn’t that hard to avoid staring like a fool.
No boys, no drama.
No boys, no drama.
I could handle this. I just needed to stay focused.
Chapter 9
The next week Jaxon was at the apartment every day when I left and when I returned. We were pleasant to each other and said hello, but didn’t have any real conversations. It was my fault. Every time I saw him, I hurried to the bedroom and shut the door, muttering about homework. I felt like a middle school girl, but he had that impact on me.
His eyes made me nervous.
His voice made me nervous.
His scent made me ravenous.
I didn’t trust myself to have a conversation with him after making a fool of myself in the library. Plus, Jaxon teasing me about liking him was still fresh in my mind as I got up a week later to go to school.
I took a quick shower, got dressed, and opened the door to let some of the heat out. I grabbed my makeup bag and then wiped off the steamed over mirror.
“Hey Toots!” Jaxon shouted, peeking around the bathroom door. “You’
ve had a busy week.”
I powdered my face and searched through my makeup bag for eyeliner. “Hey,” I said softly.
He didn't say anything, but I could feel his eyes on me. I did my best to pretend it didn’t faze me and continued to get ready. It made me self-conscious to have him watching.
“Going for the raccoon look I see,” he laughed.
I looked at him in the mirror with glaring eyes. “Does this look like a raccoon?” I asked, pointing at my eye.
“I was just joking, Toots,” he said, trying to hide his smirk.
“Ha, ha.”
“Somebody has her panties in a twist,” he said, smiling. “If you’re wearing panties, that is.”
I was.
I hate that saying.
“What do you want, Jaxon,” I sighed, throwing my hair up in a bun.
“Breakfast, you want any?”
“No time. I’m late.”
He disappeared into the hallway, and then popped his head back into the bathroom. “By the way, you're fucking beautiful without makeup,” he said, seriousness in his voice and eyes.
“Whatever,” I replied, applying lip gloss. “I’ve heard enough of your lines to know better.”
“I’m serious. I watch you every morning when you walk into the kitchen and get a glass of water before you get ready. You're gorgeous without even trying.”
My finger stopped moving, pressing the gloss into my lip. His words sent chills through my body. He disappeared again, and I stood still, staring into the mirror. I was beyond flattered.
Cole used to say I was beautiful sometimes, but it never felt like this. Jaxon usually hinted at sex, but not this time. He didn’t stick around to laugh and joke after it. I took a few deep breaths and then continued to apply my makeup. After a few minutes of finishing my makeup and reciting Jaxon’s flattering words, I finally made my way to the kitchen.
Tiffany and Lance were cuddling on the couch while Jaxon cooked oatmeal. Although I was happy for my long time best friend, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy every time I saw her and Lance together.
They were inseparable.
Amazingly Broken Page 5