Amazingly Broken

by Jordin Williams

"I know," I sighed. "I just don't know what to wear tonight…"

  "Why don't you just go as yourself? The jean skirt, tank top, and converse shoes always works for you. You already look like the girl next door, and that attire is the cherry on top."

  "That is what Cole is used to though. I want to open up his eyes in amazement," I said, nervously messing with the thread that was sticking out of my shirt.

  "So you want him to realize what he can't have?"

  "Kind of …" I answered, continuing to play with the thread on my shirt.

  "Well you better figure it out fast, because you are going on a date tonight with Cole. And who knows what he'll try on you."

  “I know, but I can say no to Cole.”

  “But not Jaxon?” she asked, raising her eyebrows.

  “I don’t know. It’s not the same.” She laughed. “What’s so funny?”

  “Just how confused you are.”

  “Thanks Tiff.”

  Tiffany's phone started to buzz in her pocket. She slipped it out and looked at the caller ID before she pressed the talk button.

  "Hey baby," she said, pausing and listening to who I assumed was Lance on the other end. "Yeah, but I'm going to help Elana pick something out to wear tonight then I'll be home."

  She looked at me and smiled. I returned a half grin, thankful that she was going to help me although she would probably pick out the sluttiest outfit. It was her style, not mine. She hung up the phone and started and quickly started sorting through the clothes on the floor.

  "So Lance said to not do anything I wouldn't do," she said, nudging her elbow into my shoulder.

  "Well, that would mean a short skirt, revealing tank top, and no bra or panties," I said laughing.

  "Shut up…" she sighed. "I'm not that easy anymore. I got my craziness out in high school. I don't need to be that girl with Lance. He's very content like you were in high school. It’s great because I don't have to put on an act."

  She was right. I had noticed that her personality around Lance was the same as when we hung out together. She always put on a different face hanging out with guys because she thought it is the way they wanted a girl to act, she was right. Guys liked to be around her, however, it could've been because she was known as slutty too. I was happy to have seen that changed.

  "Let's get going. I've got to take a shower and get ready. What should I wear?"

  “What look are you aiming for?”

  “Casual vixen,” I said. “If that’s a thing.”

  “Oh, it’s a thing, but one that usually requires about three weeks of planning.” She laughed, digging through my clothes. “I thought you weren’t interested in him? You seemed quite upset when he showed up.”

  “I’m not really interested, but I would like him to regret dumping me. It’s very mild revenge.”

  “And what about Jaxon?”

  “What d’you mean?”

  “I thought your heart was skipping a beat at the mere mention of his name. How does he feel about this date? Or are you hoping to inspire a little jealousy?”

  “Not at all. I’m not sure he has enough control over his temper to handle jealousy. We’re friends. I think it’s one of those things where we are attracted to each other, but we both know better. I think.”

  “You’re implying that he also knows better.”

  “Hey, I’m the country bumpkin from Iowa and he’s the race car driving stud from the Sunshine State. I’m fairly certain he knows the score better than I do.”

  “You know what my mom used to tell us ‘assume’ meant, right?”

  “I know, I know. It makes an ass out of u and me. But I never even know where he is. I think he has some secret lover stowed in another city. I came across a few pictures of some girl. They were smiling and standing on the beach together in one of them. They seemed really close.”

  “Really?” she asked surprised. “I could ask Lance.”

  “I don’t know Tiff. I just wonder who could be important enough that he keeps pictures of her hidden in his desk. From everything you told me, he doesn’t seem close to any girls.”

  “Well, Lance and Jaxon haven’t mentioned anyone around me so I don’t know who it is. Like I said, I could ask.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m just going to try and let it go because I need to focus on school. He seems really dedicated to drinking, skipping class, racing cars, and sleeping with girls. Why ruin his fun?”

  “Yeah, here, try this,” she said, handing me a fitted, black jersey dress.

  “I’ve never even worn that. Didn’t you buy it for me?”

  “I did. You can’t wear a denim skirt and sneakers or a sundress everywhere.”

  I pulled the dress over my head and looked in the mirror. From the front, it was perfect. It hugged every curve but it covered everything, too. It came to my mid-thigh, so the length was just right. The problem was the back.

  “There’s no back.”

  “It’s backless. By definition it has no back,” Tiffany mocked.

  “How would I wear a bra?”

  “You’re eighteen freaking years old Elana. Those breasts haven’t even met gravity yet. If they were these beasts it would be different” she said as she lifted her breasts, one in each palm. “If you had these melons, you’d need something military grade. Those perfect peaches are fine.”

  “Why are you such a pig?”

  “I believe in equality. If men are pigs, we need a few female pigs to balance things.”

  We both laughed, but I wasn’t convinced. I kept staring in the mirror, turning slightly to see my back. It would certainly get Cole’s attention.

  “Maybe it’s going too far. I want to make an impression not send him an invitation.”

  “Think of it as an inviting impression. It’s just a dress. You’re actions are your own.”

  In the mirror, I saw Jaxon appear in the doorway.

  “Wow, Toots, that’s some kinda dress. Are you sure you put all of it on?”

  “Don’t encourage her pilgrim-like modesty,” Tiffany scolded.

  “It’s too much, right?” I asked.

  Was I seriously asking for his opinion?

  “It’s more like it’s not enough,” he said.

  “I knew it. Tiffany, I can’t.”

  “You can and you will. It looks amazing, right Jaxon?” I could see her measuring his expression, looking for signs of interest.

  “Amazing is one word for it.” He stood there, staring at me, eyes unblinking. The silence expanded to fill the space between us.

  “So, that’s a yes on the dress?” Tiffany asked.

  “Sure.”

  Jaxon folded his arms and leaned against the door frame. “Well, Toots, should I clear out of here for the night?”

  “If you want to, why?”

  “He wants to know if you’re going to have any overnight guests.” Tiffany clarified.

  “No, I won’t. It’s your apartment anyway.”

  “I won’t really be around,” he said. “I’ve got a date of my own.”

  “Well, well, well,” Tiffany chimed. “I thought you just took girls to bed, not dinner.”

  “A guy’s gotta eat,” he winked at me.

  My blood ran cold. I walked to the other side of the room and grabbed the door knob, yanking the door halfway closed. “If you don’t mind, I need to change.”

  “I don’t mind at all. As a matter of fact, I’d love to see.” He flashed a grin, and I had to restrain myself from slamming the door in his face.

  “I mind. Get out. Please.”

  “Sure thing, Toots. And have fun with that jerk tonight.”

  I shut the door. “Can you believe him?” I asked in a loud whisper. “Who the hell does he think he is?”

  Tiffany looked at me, smiling. “Well, clearly he knows who you are. I’m almost impressed. I always assumed he barely knew himself, let alone anyone else.”

  “What are you talking about?” I paced around the room, picking up the dis
carded outfits and tossing them in a pile.

  “It took him about thirty-seconds to make you insanely jealous.”

  “Jealous? I am not jealous. I’m…” There was definitely a word to describe how I felt that had nothing to do with jealousy. “I’m, I’m modest.”

  “Modest?”

  “Yes, modest. He’s a guy, and I’m in here getting dressed. It’s not appropriate.”

  “Uh-huh. Makes sense to me. Why just last week a boy almost saw my ankles and I about fainted,” she said in a fake southern belle accent.

  “You’re hilarious, really. I’d laugh, but I don’t want to fall out the back of this dress.”

  Why did she have to be right all the time? It was her most annoying trait.

  “Listen, you look fabulous. Go on your date with Cole and forget about Jaxon. You already said it would never work with you two. You can’t expect him to sit around pining for you.”

  “I can’t expect it, but it would be nice.”

  It was true. I had no right to be jealous of Jaxon’s date. We were just friends and roommates. It was time to get him out of my head for good. It’s easier said than done.

  “I know what you mean. But don’t make him a backup plan to Cole. You wouldn’t want to be led along.”

  “You’re right. Well I’m going to go shower Tiff. Thanks,” I said, hugging her.

  “No problem.”

  Chapter 18

  I quickly took a shower, tugged the dress over my head, and slipped on my bra and panties. I sat on the couch crossing my legs showing plenty off, more than I ever did. I rubbed my hands up and down my legs trying to get rid of my clammy palms that built up from nervousness. Last time I had been nervous seeing Cole before a date was our first time going out together.

  Tiffany had set us up for the Valentine's dance because neither one of us had someone to go with. At the time her boyfriend hung out with Cole so it seemed right to go together, even though we had only spoken a couple words to one another.

  I remembered shaking and feeling clammy all over, very similar to the situation I found myself in waiting for Cole to pick me up. The doorbell rang and I got up from the couch while straightening out my dress. I slowly strode to the door because I didn't want him to know that I had been waiting for him and was anxious to get going.

  I opened the door and Cole reached his arm out. I smiled and took a hold. He walked me down the sidewalk into the parking lot. We stopped at what looked like a brand-new black BMW SUV. He looked at me and laughed at whatever facial expression.

  "Are you okay?" Cole asked with concern in his voice.

  "Yeah, yeah. Let's just get going," I said with nervousness

  Cole opened the passenger side door for me.

  “How chivalrous.”

  “I just wanted to get a look at you and it was worth it.” He smiled and it was filled with the warmth of every summer we spent in Iowa.

  “You look great too.” He was wearing a crisp blue shirt and freshly pressed khakis. I had forgotten how preppy his clothes were. He didn’t have Jaxon’s edge, but you always knew what to expect with Cole.

  I slid into the seat and buckled in. He hopped in the driver’s seat and when I looked over at him my eyes instantly locked on Jaxon’s car that was in the parking lot. I bent forward to get a better look and could see two shadows in the car. I sat back trying to relax my nerves. “We’re going to Casa Italia. I know Italian isn’t your favorite, but there aren’t that many good restaurants in town. I guess college students are mainly a burgers and pizza crowd.”

  “Italian is fine Cole.”

  The car was a gorgeous new BMW. It was like riding on a cloud to the restaurant. It was the polar opposite of the loud muscle car Jaxon drove. Cole reached over and took hold of my hand, squeezing it lightly before letting go. We stayed quiet for the short drive to the restaurant.

  Uncomfortable silence.

  I was happy when we reached the restaurant. He made reservations, so we were seated immediately sitting at a noiseless table by the window. There was a single calla lily in a vase on our table.

  “I’ve never seen a restaurant put calla lilies on the tables,” I said.

  “They don’t.”

  I looked around; noticing the other tables all had a single rose.

  “I had them put your favorite flower on our table.”

  “You didn’t have to do that, Cole.”

  What was he doing? This was supposed to be a casual dinner to catch-up with an old friend from home, but he was being more romantic than the entire time we dated. I wanted him to regret breaking up with me, but I wasn’t prepared for this.

  “Have you eaten here before?”

  “No, not yet. My budget isn’t very restaurant friendly.”

  Cole never really understood that money was a limited resource. His father paid for everything when we were growing up and Cole went to work for the family business after we graduated. He never understood why I had to work in a diner when my father had the money to support me. Since his parents were sitcom-perfect, he couldn’t imagine wanting freedom from parents, financial or otherwise.

  To be fair, I never explained it to Cole. He knew my father drank and had a temper, but I would blame any bruises on clumsiness or keep my shirt on when we fooled around. Even as I fantasized about being rescued, I didn’t want anyone to know how much I needed rescuing. It was embarrassing. If Tiffany hadn’t been there, I might not have told anyone. How could I? How do you tell someone with a life like Cole’s that your life is a nightmare?

  “Elana?”

  “Sorry, what?”

  “I asked what you’re going to order.”

  “I’m not sure, maybe the Fettuccine Alfredo? Do you think they’d add broccoli if I asked?”

  “I wouldn’t want to ask, but you know me and broccoli. They’d probably have no problem with it.” He laughed nervously. “I might go with the risotto.”

  He reached his hand across the table and took hold of mine. “Elana, I’m really happy to be here with you.”

  “Me too.”

  “I hope we get to see a lot more of each other.”

  I had no idea what he meant. Was he planning to move to Florida? My throat was suddenly dry, but I couldn’t grab my water with him holding my hand.

  “Should we get the bruschetta?” he asked.

  “That sounds great.” I coughed, so he would let go of my hand. I took a huge sip of water to calm my nerves. “So, how long are you in town?”

  He looked down at the menu and back up at me. “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. My father wants me to take some management classes. He said I can work in the Miami office a few days a month and take classes here or online.”

  “Here?”

  “So we can be closer. Elana, I shouldn’t have broken up with you because of something stupid like distance. I’m hoping you can forgive me.”

  “Cole, I — I don’t know what to say. I had no idea. We’ve hardly even talked since I got here.”

  “I try to call, but you’re always busy.”

  “With classes and everything, I never seem to have any free time.”

  “Listen, I know this is sudden. We don’t have to decide everything tonight. Let’s enjoy dinner and catch-up.”

  How I was supposed to forget that my high school boyfriend wanted to move to Florida and start dating again was beyond me. I was crushed when we broke-up, but that was a lifetime ago. Now, I had a new life far from Iowa. Things were different. Tiffany would know how to handle this, but I was totally lost.

  “This restaurant is really nice,” I said, desperate for a new topic.

  “Yeah, my salad’s delicious. How’s yours?” He kept fidgeting. I had never seen him nervous before.

  “It’s good,” I sighed.

  We ate in silence for a few minutes. It was like he took everything I used to want, wrapped it in a bow, and delivered it to me. How could I turn him away? It was possible to enjoy college, get an educa
tion, and have a boyfriend. Millions of people did it. Tiffany was doing it. So, why didn’t this feel like good news?

  “So how’s business?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence.

  We sat and talked in between eating our food. It mostly consisted of him talking about the business he was taking over from his father. It was a refrigerating company that sold refrigeration units to grocery stores. It had started off as a small business in just Iowa, then the United States, and then internationally. His father created the company with his two brothers and decided to buy both of them out when they wanted to start a new financing company with each other.

  Now his father was preparing him to take over the company. He had gone through some management training when he was in high school and decided that it was what he wanted to do. He didn't want to go to college and thought the business would be his lifetime job. It was a very successful business bringing in millions of dollars every year which would make him a very wealthy man. Money wasn't everything to me, otherwise I would've made myself be with him.

  I wasn’t a gold digger.

  He wanted me to move out of my house after high school and be with him but I didn't feel right about it. I knew he was concerned about me. I wanted him to ask me to move in because he loved me and I was never sure of that. He said he loved me, however he broke up with me when I told him I was going to college in Florida.

  "So why are you here? Fun or for work?" I asked.

  "I was coming here to just see you and have a little vacation before work picks up. In a couple months we have a couple companies that we need to install refrigerating units for. It's a new company in Europe that has over 100 stores. So I'll be over there getting that situated. Then the Good Food grocery store chain down here had problems with a couple of their units. So I've stopped by some of those places and figured out what parts need to be ordered."

  "So that's why I haven't seen you? I thought it was because of Jaxon getting in your face at the dance club," I said, taking a bite of garlic bread.

  "Well, it is kind of both. I could tell he had a real thing for you and thought that you two might have been in a relationship."

  "If I was in a relationship with him you know I wouldn't have allowed you to kiss me. I don't know what he has for me and it doesn't matter. He has plenty of girls. They all like him around here."