by Ledger, John
Chaotic Oddities
John Ledger
Copyright © John Ledger 2016
Cover art copyright © David McGlumphy
Published: 2016
Publisher: John Ledger
The right of John Ledger to be identified as author of this Work has been asserted by him in accordance the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved.
This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorised distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement or the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.
‘Chaotic Oddities' is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organizations, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental
Dedication:
This book is dedicated to my father, James Angelo Pomone, my favorite storyteller.
Acknowledgments:
My JEA family, Catt Dahman, Scott Essel Pratt, Toneye Eyenot, Jim Goforth, Doc Ferrel, Michael Fish Fisher, David McGlumphy, Michael Noe, Roma Gray, Amanda M. Lyons, Mark Woods, Stephen Cooney
Brian Glossup, Dona Fox, Brian Barr, Jerry Langdon, Sebastian Crow, James Ward Kirk, Charie D. La Marr, Jeff O’Brien, Kevin Candela, Jordan Krall, Lisa Dabrowski, Terry M. West, Angelo Monroe, Paul Davis, and Jim Heberlig.
Also, my best friend, T. S. Woolard, my biggest fan, my mother, Dorothea, my two little demons, Logan and Layla. Last but not least, my lovely lady, and favorite editor. Dawn Cano. Cheers!
Table of Contents
Three Ring Circle Jerk
Customer Service
The Sultan of Weird
Possum Death Camp
Lucca
The Elves on the Shelves
Under A Lunatic Moon
The Yard Sale
Jizzlobber goes to Hell
The Cult That Never Was
Meet the Chunks
The Sleepwalker
Final Review
Three Ring Circle Jerk
Ring One
Cherry Pie had given up on love. She only cared about fame and fortune these days, and in Circus City, you either work with the clowns or for the clowns, unless of course you decide to fit in by pretending to be a clown. Cherry Pie and her cohorts formed a band and they became the biggest hardcore punk act in all of Circus City, Slut Tunnel.
Cherry was the lead vocalist, and she had formed quite the entourage. A mass group of zombie clowns followed Slut Tunnel, and more specifically, Cherry Pie, wherever they went. She was an icon in Circus City, with her bright red hair and curvaceous body. Cherry dressed like a Goth punk, sporting clown face paint most of the time. Her favorite colors were black and red, and it was she who came up with the idea to feature live sex at their shows. Her band had become the main act at the most popular carnival in town, and the sex was a major selling point.
The carnival was originally run by a man known only as the Professor. He was a wise nomad of sorts, reminiscent of an old Indiana Jones. The Professor came across Cherry at a very young age and she was definitely a problem child at the time. Without a home or any parental guidance, he found her wandering the streets in a drunken haze at the age of fifteen when he took her in. She was an addict and a victim of previous sexual abuse during her childhood. This was all discovered by the Professor as time went on.
By the age of nineteen, Cherry began to feel differently for the Professor and started thinking of him more as a potential partner instead of a father figure. She knew that she had daddy issues, but she didn’t care. Cherry couldn’t wait much longer to give herself to him. They made love for the first time on her twentieth birthday, and the Professor couldn’t get enough of Cherry after that. He was obsessed with her tight body and the things that she could do to him.
Cherry became the main act in his show with her outlandish stage presence, wooing the audience with her eerily beautiful voice, while circus acts went on around her. Eventually she formed her backup band and they became known as Slut Tunnel. Cherry Pie on vocals, Cotton Candy on bass, Tight Rope on guitar and Rotten Crotch on drums. She hired an albino giant named Whitey to be her personal security guard, and it wasn’t long before they were almost famous. Their album ‘Cum Carnival’ did great, thanks to songs such as ‘Fuck My Assclown’ and ‘Bloody Carousel’. The Zombie clowns began showing up in droves, and the Professor was not happy with the new scene. As he expressed his concerns with Cherry, she became very defensive, claiming that he was jealous of her growing popularity. The Professor became worried about his safety and he realized that he had completely lost control of his own carnival. Cherry had turned her back on him, so he left his own circus and went to work for the competition, Father Fairview and his freaks.
She was mad at first, feeling betrayed by her mentor and former lover. She realized she didn’t need him though, and that the carnival was all hers now. She had complete control over everything, her zombie clown fan cult included. In her mind, it was time to up the stakes, time to put some real excitement into the circus show. Cherry was ready for her first night without the Professor as ringmaster, ready for action. First, she had to find the rest of her band backstage and then it would be go time.
Backstage…
Rotten Crotch was sitting in her dressing room waiting for show time. She was already dressed in her scimpy black leather outfit. Her whole body was ghostly white, her face was painted white with red circles around her eyes, and she wore a big red clown nose. The short skirt that she wore left little to the imagination and her large breasts bounced around in her tight vest. Rotten Crotch was naturally a brunette but her hair was dyed green. She earned her name by fucking everything in sight and she was proud of it. She was horny right now as a matter of fact as she pleasured herself with a drumstick while she waited for Cherry.
Cotton Candy was ready as well, but she was never alone. Cotton, a natural blonde with big tits and a great ass, was known as the ‘Bukkake Queen’. She had a ritual that she performed every night before a big show and she loved every second of it. A lucky group of fans would be hand-picked by Whitey to come backstage and meet Cotton Candy. This evening’s group consisted of ten fan boys cramming into her dressing room, forming a circle around her naked body. Cotton waited with her pink and blue hair, not a stitch of clothing on and her mouth wide open as all of the men furiously masturbated around her. When the first guy came in her mouth, she was in heaven. Then she felt pure ecstasy, as one by one they shot their loads onto her body and all over her face. When the last guy finished, Cotton rewarded him by licking his cock and balls clean before she made them all leave the room.
She needed and wanted more though, so she called for Whitey to come into the room and telling him to close the door and lock it. Whitey was a giant and he wasn’t very smart. Big, bald and dumb as they come. That was no concern to Cotton though as she guided him over to a couch and sat him down. Whitey wasn’t even intelligent enough to care what she was doing as he just sat there while she struggled to unbutton his pants. She finally freed his enormous member and wrapped both of her hands around it, her eyes bulged with delight as she began playing with it. Whitey was confused but whatever she was doing felt good. He enjoyed it as she moved her tiny hands up and down on him.
Cotton Candy beat away at the giant penis until a pool of semen drenched her clown face and Whitey let out a
gigantic moan. She was completely covered in jizz as she rubbed it all over herself and began fingering her pussy with her slimy hands. Cotton Candy was ready for the show and Whitey passed out on the couch.
Tight Rope was nervous and irritated as usual. He used to be a circus performer but gave it all up when he met Cherry and the other girls. They needed a guitarist and he clicked with them right away. He also immediately had a thing for Cherry, but who didn’t? Everybody had a thing for Cherry but Tight Rope was going to be the lucky winner, especially after tonight’s act. He was going to get to fuck Cherry for the first time, live in front of everyone. Tight Rope was more excited than nervous now that he thought about it; he couldn’t wait to get inside her hot little body. Sex had always been a part of the ‘Slut Tunnel’ shows but usually only in the form of Cotton Candy being naked and soaked in semen or Rotten Crotch getting fucked by clown zombies on stage. Tonight was the big show though, Cherry was getting fucked by him and they would be the main attraction. Tight Rope was worried about cumming too quick so he decided to tie one off before the show while he waited on the star in his dressing room.
Ring Two
West Fairview was like the ghetto or bad section of Circus City. The entire neighborhood had been turned into a carnival, and believe it or not, that’s the competition that the Professor went to work for. The carnival was run by a cult leader type lunatic who called himself Father Fairview, and mostly all of his followers were Fiend clowns. The drug of choice in Circus City was Zoinks. You could find whacked out clowns hooked on smoking it, snorting it and shooting it pretty much everywhere you turned. Father Fairview ran the drug business as well, which only benefited his demented carnival.
It was the night of the big show across town when he gathered his trusted crew and Fiend clown followers to meet his new business partner and address his concerns. The Professor was not so sure what he had gotten himself into as he listened to the maniac ramble on. Father Fairview was already in mid speech as the Professor actually started to pay attention.
“A human host for bitterness subjected to the madness of a thousand lost souls! Erased from existence on any social level my friends. Is this what you desire? We are the broken and beaten. The cursed and the damned. We need to join together and rise against the zombie clowns! Rise as one, my flock! I’m Father Fairview, and I will show you the way. This isn’t about the carnival or our shipments of Zoinks! This is about your livelihood and your freedom! So follow me, my children. It’s time to save the world.”
The crowd of Fiend clowns went crazy, hooting and hollering in approval of the words of their boss as they poured out of the tent. The Professor decided to stick around to meet the big shots that were still lingering around Father Fairview. There were three guys and a girl, along with the Father left in the tent. The Professor was approached by a lion as he moved towards the crew.
“Down, boy!” commanded a man with a funny mustache whom was wearing a tuxedo. “Hello, Professor! I am Glossup the Magnificent!” He bowed and his lion retreated behind him, back into its cage.
“Hello. Nice to meet you.” The Professor responded as Father Fairview waved him over towards the group. “Come, come, Professor. Meet the rest of our crew. We have Johnny Ace over there, he’s our star acrobat. Then there’s Flexi Lexi to his right, she’s quite the contortionist. Next is Harlan Flames, professional flame eater and what not. Last but not least, Glossup the Magnificent whom you’ve already met.”
“Nice to meet you all. So what’s this about rising against Zombie clowns?”
“The zombie clowns are ruining our business, and our streets are no longer safe thanks to them. It’s because of that bitch across town. But you already know that she’s the Zombie mother, don’t you, Professor? That’s why you came here. For a safe haven from the evil cunt and her followers. Well, you don’t have to worry because you’ll be perfectly fine here. We’re like family at this carnival. One big happy family.”
Before the Professor could respond though, one of the Fiend Clowns ran into the tent yelling and hollering for Father Fairview. “Father we got a problem! We got trespassers in the perimeter!
“Who is it? More zombie fuckers?”
“You got it boss.”
“Load up boys! It’s time to party!” The Father and his crew left the Professor alone in the tent as they headed to war.
Ring Three
The morbid trio stood on a rooftop in West Fairview, looking down onto the decaying neighborhood with disgust. They were of a different breed of clowns, vampire clowns. The trio considered themselves to be the supreme evil in Circus City and they had a small army of vamp clowns to back up that claim. The vamp clown army wore black leather outfits, and they all had long, black hair, cascading down onto their pale white faces. Their red noses pretty much the only evidence of them having been normal clowns once upon a time. They craved blood and followed orders closely in a silent and deadly fashion. Their commanders, however, were not as silent, as they waited on the rooftop for just the right moment to attack.
“What are we waiting for, Ambrose?” Wyatt impatiently questioned the dreadlocked leader. “Let’s just take all these fuckers out right now, man?”
“Calm yourself, Wyatt. Why don’t you and your girlfriend go find something to do? I’ll let you know when we’re ready. The time is not right yet.”
“Fine. Whatever.” Wyatt turned around and looked at Mackenzie, who was just as anxious to spill some blood. “Let’s go, baby.”
The deadly duo joined hands and flew out of sight as Ambrose paid close attention to the scene below him. He knew the big show wasn’t over yet, and that the war was yet to come. Ambrose knew a lot of things because he had a special talent. He could see the future. He could see the war between zombies and fiends merely beginning on the streets below. He knew that their time was up and that his time was now. The Professor was a valuable resource in his eyes but Father Fairview and Cherry Pie had to go. The two of them and all of their followers were the enemy. Ambrose licked his lips as he thought about the taste of Cherry’s blood. The anticipation was eating away at his insides. It was almost time, and he knew that. He waited impatiently with his silent army behind him. Waiting in the darkness.
Ring One
It was show time, and the seats were filled as Slut Tunnel took the stage under the big top. They played most of their hits and ended the show with ‘Juggling Dildos’, which turned into a drums and bass solo, as Tight Rope put his guitar down and climbed up to the trapeze. Cherry Pie dropped her microphone and took center stage, as the zombie clowns went nuts in the pit. Cherry let her red hair down and unzipped her black leather vest revealing two melon-sized breasts. Next, she peeled off her skin tight pants and everyone realized that Cherry was indeed a natural ginger. She was exquisitely beautiful in an evil sort of way, wearing nothing but an open vest as she got down on all fours with her perfect ass facing the crowd. Cherry looked like she could’ve been one of the devil’s favorite play toys with her face pressed down on the stage and her glory hole exposed for all to see.
Tight Rope began swinging back and forth after he felt comfortable enough about their positioning. It was quite an act he was about to attempt to pull off. Once he got up there, he had to get naked, but that wasn’t the embarrassing part. He had to get himself hard in front of everyone in order to nail the trick properly, and stay hard while swinging around. Tight Rope thought about Cherry and her pussy waiting below, and he was quickly ready to go. Back and forth he swung, as he finally launched himself into the air and somersaulted towards the ground below. Tight Rope came out of his final flip and impaled Cherry from behind as she screamed out in pleasure and pain. He positioned himself firmly behind her and grabbed onto her hips, as he simply enjoyed being inside of her. Before he could enjoy the moment any longer though, Tight Rope was yanked away from her body by multiple hands from behind. He felt his dick pop out of her wetness and watched her body become smaller, as he was dragged away from the stage and into
the zombie clown horde.
Cherry stood up and faced the crowd with a sinister smile, as Rotten Crotch came up behind her. They looked out at their crazed fans and they were proud of their followers. Cotton Candy had escaped backstage and was on her way out of the building with Whitey. Ever since she introduced the big dummy to orgasms she had him, quite literally, in the palm of her hands. Cherry wondered where her bass player had run off to, but that was something to worry about at a later date and time, as far as she was concerned. Tight Rope was torn to pieces and eaten by the zombie clowns as Cherry climbed atop an elephant, and alongside Rotten Crotch, led her army into the streets. She was ready for war and so were her followers.
Ring Two
The Professor built up the courage to leave the tent and look for Father Fairview and his cronies. He ducked in and out of the shadows until he came across the good Father.
“Welcome Professor. You should’ve told me you were down for the cause? Here, have a gun.” Father said as he handed the Professor a pistol. “Johnny Ace and Flexi Lexi, I want you two to head towards the roller coaster and guard that area. Harlan, Glossup and the Professor are all with me. Now, go!”
Johnny and Lexi ran off and the remaining crew heard a grumbling from behind. It was the clown zombies. Five of them were headed right for the Father and his crew, their arms outstretched with a hunger for flesh and brains. They were ragged and grungy looking clowns, back from the dead with a vengeance.
“Let’s get em’, boys!” Father commanded, as he led the charge with a mallet in hand. Glossup the Magnificent unleashed his lion on the zombies, as Harlan Flames was roasting one of them like a marshmallow. Father smashed a zombies head like a melon with his mallet, while Glossup was slicing the throat of another with a sword. The lion had ripped two of them to shreds, and the remaining zombie was just about to snatch the good Father from behind when the Professor shot him in the eyeball, sending chunks of flesh and ooze all over the Father’s clown face. The zombie staggered around, blindly grabbing at the Father before the cult leader pulled a meat cleaver out and stuck it in his throat. He dropped to the ground as Father hopped on top of him and slowly cut his head off with the cleaver. Before the Professor or anyone else could even think about what they’d just witnessed, they were interrupted by a war cry, the trumpet of an elephant.