Chapter Twenty-Four
Quinn woke feeling as if she’d gone five rounds with a Mack truck. Her head hurt, her body ached, her soul cried out with frustration. For a moment, she couldn’t remember why.
And suddenly it all came rushing back. Standing in the swirling lights of the Focus, being flayed alive by the attacking magic. The pain. And for nothing. For nothing.
She’d failed. The power she’d needed to renew Vamp City’s magic had remained just out of reach, refusing to come to her call. The equinox was all but over.
Zack . . .
He was still suffering the magic illness, still in terrible danger.
He was a Levenach sorcerer.
If Arturo could be believed.
Her chest ached, her teeth clenched at the fury curling in her stomach. After all the times he’d promised never to betray her again, he’d lied to her, used her to save his world, making her believe that renewing the magic was the only way to save Zack.
She caught a whiff of almonds. Her eyes snapped open, and she found him sitting on the end of her bed, watching her with enigmatic eyes.
“Get out.”
He didn’t move. “I did not lie to you, tesoro. I did not tell you everything because I could not.”
She opened her mouth, then snapped it closed again. “I said, get out.”
“Renewing the magic of Vamp City should have been enough to save Zack.”
Dammit, she didn’t have to lie here and listen to this. Pushing herself to her feet, she winced at the pain, echoes of what she’d felt in the Focus, as if the magic still hadn’t let go of her.
Arturo thrust a coffee mug toward her. “Amanda sent this. It should rid your body of the effects of the magic. It will take the pain.”
She stared at him. As much as she’d like to refuse his offering, she could barely stand up straight from the sharp blades ripping at her insides. Taking the mug, she downed its contents in one long series of gulps, then threw it at his head.
He caught it, of course, his vampire reflexes a dozen times faster than any human’s. She briefly considered throwing him against the wall, but he wasn’t worth the effort it would cost her.
She started for the door of the tiny bedchamber, but Arturo rose, easily blocking her way. When she glared at him, he lifted his hand, his expression begging her to hear him out.
“None of us anticipated that the curse would cause the magic to attack you like it did, cara. It should have worked. Zack should have been healed. I would have let you both go.”
“You lied to me.”
“I withheld my suspicions, that is all.”
“Is it? Because you wanted to ensure I saved your precious hellhole of a world.”
“Because I wanted to ensure you saved my friends!”
She just glared at him. “You could have told me the truth.”
“Could I have? You told me yourself you did not know if Vamp City should be saved. If you’d known about Zack’s curse, can you honestly tell me you wouldn’t have considered going after Escalla instead of saving Vamp City?”
She opened her mouth to answer, then closed it again. Because she didn’t know what she would have done. If Zack hadn’t needed Vamp City saved, would she have tried to save it?
She just didn’t know.
Arturo crossed his arms over his chest. “This is why I did not tell you everything. I could not trust you.”
She looked at him in surprise, then scowled. “Get out of my way.”
He didn’t budge. “You are blind, Quinn. Blind to everything and everyone.”
“I am not. Now, move, or I’m going to move you myself.”
“You would have died in the Focus today if I hadn’t fought to make you come out.”
“That’s not true.”
“No? Look me in the eye and tell me you would have stopped trying to renew the magic when the pain became too much. That you would have given up at some point even if I hadn’t been there.”
She wouldn’t have. Of course not.
“You’d have committed suicide before you quit.”
“He’s my brother!”
“He is more than that, tesoro,” he said quietly. “He is your only reason for living.”
The words were a slap. The pain fueled her anger. “I don’t have to listen to this.” Lifting her hand, she pushed him away from the door to crash against the side wall.
But when she reached for the doorknob, he flew back and spun her around, gripping her shoulders hard, his nose inches from her own, furious eyes staring into her own.
“Zack is all you care about. Your world is so damn narrow, Quinn, that if it does not involve Zack, it does not matter. Kassius risked his life to rescue you from Cristoff’s prison. Amanda Morris and Neo have helped both you and Zack, plus they devote their lives to saving the captured humans. When the magic fails, they will die, Quinn. As will Sam and Rinaldo and Bram and dozens of others who do not deserve to die. But you give them no thought. They do not matter to you. None of them matters to you.”
“What about the humans who will be saved if Vamp City dies? Humans who haven’t been caught yet but will be in the coming days and weeks and months, not to mention the ones who are already here. You give them no thought!”
“There you are wrong, cara mia. I do give them thought. When you renew the magic, most of the vampires will reclaim their consciences and their souls. The barbarity will end. Some vampires will continue to feed and abuse humans—it has been so since the dawn of time. But the majority of Emoras will not.”
He gripped her chin, and she tried to jerk away, but he held her fast, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You rail at me for lying to you, yet you lie to yourself. Your concern is not for the captives, Quinn. To some extent, yes. You are not without heart. But your primary concern is and has always been Zack, even at the cost of your own life. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why?”
“He’s my brother.” She glared at him, the ache in her chest spreading.
“Have you considered what it would do to him if you died trying to save him? Have you ever considered his pain? You may think of yourself as devoted and courageous, but you protect yourself, Quinn, above all others, above anything and everything else. And everyone else be damned. Even Zack.”
“Go to Hell.” She jerked free of his hold, refusing to listen to this anymore. But when she would have focused the energy to once more push him away from the door, she couldn’t. She couldn’t even see clearly through the sheen of tears now blurring her eyesight.
He was full of bullshit. Nothing he said even made sense! But that spreading ache in her chest intensified.
She turned her back on him, needing to get away, but there was nowhere to go.
“Cara.”
“Go away.” She swiped at the tears that were starting to leak out of the corners of her eyes. “You’re wrong. I’m not protecting myself. I’m protecting him. It’s the one thing I can do, the one thing I can give him.”
“Can you not simply love him?” he asked softly. “Is that not enough?”
The pain in her chest intensified, the tears falling freely now. “He has so many people who love him. So many that he loves back.”
“And you have no one else.”
His words sliced her to the bone with their truth. She reached out a hand for the wall, curling her other arm across her stomach as the pain spread, as the terrible, aching loneliness she’d lived with a lifetime ripped through her, clawing at her heart. Zack loved her, she knew that. But she’d never been his whole world. And he was, and had always been, hers.
A gentle hand caressed her hair. A soft voice murmured in her ear. “You are not alone anymore, carissima.”
He was wrong. She’d never felt more alone in her life. She didn’t push him away, but neither did she turn and slide into his arms as the softest core of her longed to do. That way would only lead to more pain.
His finger twisted around a lock of her hair. “You push others away,
do you know this?” he asked quietly. “Both Mukdalla and Amanda have attempted to befriend you, but you’ve rebuffed their efforts.”
Quinn brushed at the tears that refused to cease. “I have not.”
“You protect yourself, Quinn.” He stroked her hair. “Understandably so. You have known too much betrayal in your young life. The mother who abandoned you by dying, the father who brought a woman into your life who could not love you, then sided with that shrew against you. The friends, the best friend, who abandoned you at the first sign of your differentness. It is surprising, tesoro, that you are as capable of love as you are, as starved as you were of your parents’ affection. And you are capable of great love. It shines within you every time you look at your brother.”
Quinn squeezed her eyes closed, trying to deny his words and failing. From the day Owen shunned her, after being best friends for most of their lives, she’d ceased to allow anyone to get close. Her subsequent friendships, even her relationships, had remained casual and superficial. The only one who’d truly gotten past her shields was the vampire at her back right now. A mistake.
“You are not alone anymore, Quinn. Within this safe house are many who have not shunned you despite your power. Who, in fact, care about you very much. Micah, Kassius, and Neo are all taken with you, much to my frustration. Mukdalla and Amanda both like you. They offer friendship, but you must open yourself to accept it.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
He stroked her hair. “It is. Wish for them to be your friends, and let them see the wish, and it will be so.”
She pushed away from the wall and dried her cheeks, then forced herself to turn around and face him. He watched her with eyes soft as mink.
“You should have told me everything, Vampire. How can you ever expect me to trust you?”
“I am sorry, bella, but I had no choice. If you had been able to renew the magic, Zack would have lived. My friends would have lived. You would remain safe.” His mouth tightened. “If you had chosen to hie off to steal Escalla instead . . .”
“You really think I’d have done that?”
“If you had decided it was the better course—that Zack’s chance of survival was better that way, or that letting Vamp City die was the right thing to do—yes. I think you’d have done it. You proved that you have the heart and the stubbornness to do whatever you think must be done, no matter the risk to yourself, when you returned to Vamp City for your brother after making a clean escape.”
With his thumb, he wiped a tear that still clung to her bottom lashes, his eyes sad, and soft as a summer breeze. “You are my weakness, amore mio. You may not put your own safety first, but I must. I cannot help my need to protect you any more than you can help your own to protect your brother.”
Quinn met his eyes, the ache in her chest easing beneath his tender gaze. As angry as he made her sometimes, he’d shown her more affection than anyone in her life except, perhaps, the mother who’d given birth to her—a woman she had no memories of.
“Do you think Cristoff might destroy Escalla voluntarily if it’s the only way to save Vamp City?”
“Possibly, though that sword is his prized possession.” He played with another lock of her hair. “The only way he will ever destroy it is if he is utterly convinced doing so is the only way.”
“Which means he’d first have to have possession of me.” He’d force her to succeed in every way he could think of, and she had no doubt that sadistic monster would use pain, torture, and God only knew what else. Only once he was utterly unable to compel her might he consider destroying his precious sword.
Arturo’s eyes darkened, his mouth hardening, his grip gentle yet firm when he grasped her jaw. “Promise me you will not even think about giving yourself up to him like that, Quinn. It would kill your brother to know what you suffered to save him. It would kill me.”
“We’ll find another way.”
“Yes.” The tension appeared to flow out of him, and he tipped his forehead to hers. “Yes, we will find another way.”
His hand slid to the back of her neck, and he exerted just enough pressure to have her closing those last few inches between them, bringing their mouths together in a sweet, drugging kiss. The future loomed, dark and ominous, and time was undoubtedly short. But she needed his touch, she needed the soul-deep intimacy she’d only ever found in his arms.
Her fingers went to the buttons of his shirt, and he made a sound in his throat of agreement, of need. They undressed one another with unhurried movements, the passion that was always present between them simmering at a low burn as he laid her down, half-beneath him, and caressed her body with long, tender strokes.
She slid her hands over his strong shoulders, kissing his jaw, his chin, pressing her lips against the strong cords of his neck. For long, long minutes, they touched one another, kissed one another, reveling in the feel of flesh on flesh. His hand slid between her legs, making her gasp with pleasure and open to him. As she spread her thighs, welcoming him, he rolled onto her fully. Catching her gaze, he entered her slowly, lovingly, completely.
Being with him was right as being with a man had never been right before. Yet there was still so much between them.
When their passion was spent, Arturo rolled to his side and tucked her against him, holding her close. Exhaustion pulled at her. She’d slept so little since returning to Vamp City. That and the Focus had worn her out.
Arturo’s hand, warm as the summer sun, stroked her arm, her hip, as gentle as a whisper. His lips pressed against her hair.
“Sleep, cara.”
“We have to find Escalla.”
“First you must sleep.”
And held in the gentle warmth of his arms, she did.
Quinn awakened in the bed alone, feeling almost rested as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up. The room was dark but for the dim light from the oil lamps that lined the hallway and filtered beneath her door.
Rolling her shoulders, she glanced at the place where the lamp sat on the bedside table, imagined it igniting, and whispered, “Light.” Nothing happened. Maybe calling fire would never be her thing, or maybe fire was just one of the many aspects of her gift she needed to learn how to control. The thought of the possibilities sent excitement winging through her blood.
Reaching for the Bic, she lit the lamp, then dressed quickly, needing to see Zack. Arturo’s accusation that she thought of no one but Zack had cut too close to the bone. In some ways, he was probably right. Maybe in all ways. She’d never let anyone get close enough to see what she was, knowing they’d run.
But everyone here knew exactly what she was. And none of them had fled. Arturo, in fact, just kept coming back for more. He’d held her close most of the time she’d slept. Every time she’d awakened, he’d kissed her temple and told her to go back to sleep. Vampires needed no sleep. Yet he’d stayed with her, cradling her close, making her feel . . . cared for. It was a feeling, a softness, she couldn’t afford. Certainly not from a vampire.
As she stepped toward the lamp, to douse it, she spied a wooden stake on the floor, which must have fallen out of her jacket. With a small smile, she lifted her hand and called it to her. It rose suddenly, wavered a moment in the air, then zinged straight to her hand. The practicing she’d done while Arturo visited Cristoff had paid off.
Slipping the stake into the breast pocket of her jacket, she went to search for Zack. She found him doing pull-ups on a bar hanging from the ceiling of the gym, his shirt off, the muscles of his chest gleaming with a fine sheen of perspiration. Muscles. Real, honest-to-goodness muscles. If it hadn’t been for the bright red appearance of his usually pale skin, she’d have thought he looked wonderful.
He grinned when he saw her. “Hey, Quinn,” he gasped between reps.
“That’s twenty-five,” Jason said, amazement in his tone. “Twenty-six,” he added as Zack kept going. “Twenty-seven. Twenty-eight.” At thirty-four, Zack finally dropped to the floor, barely winded.
Quinn stared at him. A Levenach sorcerer. Her little brother.
Jason tossed him a towel.
Zack took it, wiping the sweat from his face. “I heard the ritual was a bust.”
“The curse is still holding back my magic. But I guess you heard that, too.”
“Arturo told me.”
“Is that all he said?”
The joy she’d seen in his eyes as he’d discovered what his body could do died a swift death. “He said they haven’t found Lily.” His mouth turned harder than she’d ever seen it. “I’m going to find her.”
All he could think about was saving Lily, just as all she could think about was saving him. Stubborn, one-track minds apparently ran in the Lennox family.
“When you’re ready,” Jason said evenly, “we’ll go out together and hunt for them both—my wife and your Lily.”
Zack met the Marine’s gaze with a certainty she could hardly credit, and nodded. He was changing before her eyes. In more ways than one.
She thought about telling him about the Levenach-Lennox tie, knowing how much that would probably delight him. But other than bulking up at a surprising rate, he’d never shown any sign of magic or power. And it worried her that knowing he had sorcerer’s blood might send his confidence even higher. Maybe too high, making him reckless. The fewer people who knew Zack was a sorcerer, himself included, the safer he’d be.
She headed back into the main room to find Arturo and found the doctor instead. Arturo’s words came back to her, that she could make friends if she wanted to.
“Amanda.”
The woman turned, a professional smile on her face that turned serious an instant later. “Zack’s holding his own, Quinn. That’s all I can tell you.”
Quinn hesitated. She briefly considered confiding in her about the Levenach blood, then pulled the secret close again. “I guess the magic sickness works differently in everyone.”
Amanda nodded thoughtfully. “I suppose it does.”
Quinn opened her mouth, looking for something friendly to say. When nothing came out, she shut it again. Now probably wasn’t the time anyway. “Have you seen Arturo?”
Pamela Palmer - [Vamp City 02] Page 28