by Kara Sparks
Once we’re inside, she grabs us some beers from the kitchen and we fall onto the sofa.
“We’re not fucking tonight are we?” She says, clearly picking up that I’m not in the mood to fuck.
I take a drag from the beer bottle and shake my head. “Is it that obvious?”
“I’ve known you nearly two years now Nate… and I’ve never seen you turn down an opportunity for a threesome. What’s bugging you? Is it work?”
“Work’s fine, I’m gonna quit soon though.”
“Something else lined up?”
“You could say that.”
Nina and I might have known each other for a long time, but our conversation never really goes past the bedroom. I’ve never told her about my dreams to run my own wood work business one day. Heck, I don’t share that information with any of the girls I sleep with. That’s my dream, and it’s just for me. I’ll share my body for a few hours of fun and company, but the stuff that matters, the stuff on the inside, that’s mine.
I sit there and wonder if that’s weird. Nina knows that there’s more to me than meets the eye, and she also knows that I’m not too comfortable sharing that stuff with just anyone. She’s smart enough to know that our friendship ends at the headboard. That’s why our no strings commitment has always worked.
“If I had to guess, there’s a girl involved.”
I have to laugh. She’s good. “How did you know?”
She smiles and smooths her hair back from off her face. “Trick of the trade. People come into the bar all the time with the weight of the world on their shoulders. My job is to take it off and maybe get them a little drunk in the process. People aren’t that complicated, and problems are always usually the same. Money, love, insecurity—it’s usually one of those.”
“How do you know it’s love? Maybe I’m broke, or balding.”
“Please.” Nina scoffs. “You’ve obviously got money, even though you try to hide it, and you’re pretty much genetically perfect—”
“You trying to make me change my mind about fucking?”
She rolls her eyes. “Point is, I’ve seen enough sad sacks come into the bar with unrequited love in their eyes. I noticed it on you the moment you walked in tonight. It’s odd seeing that look on you. I’ve never seen you look anything other than flirty.”
“There’s a first for everything I guess.”
“So who is she?”
I start talking about Holly, and by the time I look up at the clock I notice that an hour has gone by. Nina’s sat there patiently the whole time, listening to everything I have to say.
“There’s something about her. When she looks at me, there’s this look in her eyes that makes me feel…different. It’s like I’m turned on, but in a way I’ve never felt before.”
Nina leans forward and puts a hand on my shoulder. “If you ask me, it sounds like you have a thing for this girl Nate.”
It’s crazy, but my feelings start to make more sense after I hear Nina say it out loud. I stand up from the couch and walk over to her door. “You really think so?”
“I’ve never heard you talk about anything for more than five minutes before, and you just spent an easy hour talking non-stop about this girl. Your eyes lit up like a Christmas tree Nate. Reading people is my business, but you don’t need my barkeep intuition to realize that you like this girl.”
“I like her.” I say out loud, repeating her words back to myself. “But I don’t get attached, that’s not who I am. I sleep with girls and I get on my way—”
“And maybe that chapter of your life is coming to a close. You can only be a stud for so long. You don’t want to end up as that sad old man who is sat at the bar trying to pull girls twenty years his junior do you?”
It’s only the thing I fear the most, even if I I’ve never said out loud before.
“I think I gotta go Nina. I should sleep this off.”
Nina walks me to the door and kisses me on the cheek. It’s purely platonic, and I can tell that our arrangement has come to an end.
“This girl sounds lovely, and she’d be lucky to land a guy like you Nate. I know you have your reputation, but that’s just an idea. It’s not who you really are. I know you’re a sweet guy under this bad boy exterior. Swallow your pride and put the womanizer to bed. You don’t want to let something like this slip through your fingers. Believe me, I’ve done it.”
We hug and I leave her apartment, grateful that we had a chance to talk. I’ve had too many drinks to drive, so I walk back into the city and get a taxi back to my place. When I’m home, I head straight to my shop and carry on with my carving of Holly.
The sun is coming up when I lift my head, and I realize I’ve spent the better part of the night working away at her likeness. The piece is coming together well, and every knock of my hammer uncovers another part of her perfection. I drag myself to bed to try to get a few hours before I have to wake for work. It’s late, but I’m too charged to fall asleep, even though I’ve been up for hours.
I lay there in the dark, staring up at the ceiling and thinking about Holly, my cock pitching a tent against the thin bed covers. I wrap my hand around the ache and start pumping hard and fast, imagining what it would feel like to have her body on top of mine in this cool bedroom. My mind traces back to the soft warmth of her flesh, and the sweet nectar of her scent. I come hard while thinking about her. The release brings me momentary relief, but there’s still a longing inside of me to have her laying here next to me.
Jumping out of bed, I run to the bathroom and clean myself off. I splash my face and return to bed, deciding that I’ll take a shower when my alarm goes off in two hours time. She still dominates my thoughts, and a strange giddiness fills my chest, but fatigue finally catches up with me.
I drift off imagining what it would be like to have her over for dinner, a smile fixed on my face all the while.
8
HOLLY
I don’t get a chance to sit down and talk with Sash about my disaster until the next day after work. I invite her over for one of our weekly chats, which is usually accompanied by Chinese takeout, a cheesy romcom in the background and a bottle of wine. I run her through the disaster date, and she sits there carefully while hanging on my every word, eating slowly while my own food goes cold.
“I basically ended up running out on him, and we were close—I mean we were super close to doing it.”
Her brows raise and she mumbles through a mouth full of noodles. “Sex?”
I nod. “We didn’t even end up going for drinks like we’d planned, there was this raw energy pouring off his body and I just couldn’t keep myself away. Fifteen minutes after the dance class finished I was on my back with his head between my legs.”
“How was his head?”
I close my eyes and nod slowly. “Put it this way, I’ve never been with a guy and had an orgasm before. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm like that before, even by my own hand.”
Sash about drops her food, opting to put it down on the side, clearly deciding that my story is more enticing. “So he goes down on you, gives you this mind blowing orgasm—”
“Yup.”
“Then he pulls his dick out, and by your account it’s as big as everyone says it is—”
I nod.
“And just as he’s about to take your pussy to pleasure town… you freak out and run for the hills?”
My head drops into my hands and I groan. “I’m a fucking idiot aren’t I? What’s wrong with me?”
Looking up, I see Sash staring at me while slowly shaking her head. “I don’t know girl, but you can bet I’d have jumped his bones if I were in your position. What’s going through your mind?”
“I’ve never been that ‘hit it and quit it’ type, you know? I’m not the type that can just mindlessly fuck something. I need a connection.”
“But you said there was a connection.”
“Sure, but he’s the Fling King—he doesn’t do connections does
he? It’s just fucking and then… then he’s gone.”
“I don’t know sugar.” Sash picks her food back up again and digs back into her noodles. “From the sounds of things it was pretty steamy. He called you beautiful. I’ve heard enough about Notorious Nate to know that he’s not much of a talker in the bedroom.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s all action baby. That’s one of his things. Once you get down to it, it’s just you and his body, it’s like his mind isn’t even there. That’s why girls like him so much, he’s like a living, breathing sex doll.”
“He doesn’t talk?” I sit forward on the couch, feeling slightly confused.
“Not from what I’ve heard. He doesn’t even stay over. He just gets in, has his fun and then he gets out. There’s a bit of banter before and after, but he’s not one to butter up girls during. That’s just not his style.”
I freeze. He definitely did that with me. He was laying the compliments on thick and fast.
“So you think he might have actually meant what he said about me? I’m… beautiful?”
“It’s almost like I’ve been saying it the whole time we’ve known each other. But no, you have to hear it from a man first before you believe it.”
I blush. The thought that Nate actually meant those things makes me feel special. Could it be that they really weren’t lines? That’s what he actually thinks of me?
“There’s the experience gap though as well. My history in the bedroom isn’t exactly stellar, and he’s… well—he’s—”
“The sexual terminator.”
We laugh. “Yeah.”
“Stop worrying about it so much honey. You just need to let your mind go and relax. It sounded like he was enjoying himself too, even if you did put an early end to your session.”
“Why am I being such a fucking idiot about this?” I say while letting out a long sigh.
“Maybe because you’ve never actually met a guy that you like before now?”
“You really think I like this guy?”
“I don’t think, I know. Girl, you’ve been a completely different person since this Nate walked into your life. If you think this random encounter is anything other than destiny, think again.”
We leave the conversation there for a bit, letting the chick flick in the background recapture our attention for a while. Sasha is a hopeless romantic. She thinks there’s someone for everyone. Love at first sight and ‘destiny’ are just two of her many beliefs. I’m not sure what I think about any of that, but I do know I definitely feel something for Nate. It’s part of the reason I’m so hesitant to open up to him.
“I guess I’m afraid I’ll get hurt. If I really like this guy, then I need to know he likes me back first before I open myself up to the idea of being intimate with him.”
Sash raises a brow, and I can tell she’s holding something back.
“What?”
“I love you Holly, but you have to remember who you’re dealing with here. Nate isn’t just some ordinary dude. People call him Notorious for a reason. He’s got his attention kept on you for now, but if you’re holding out for something more than a fling, then you might want to find another guy. His track record does not point toward settling down.”
“But you think I should fuck him?”
“I think you should do whatever makes you happy. You’re not the type to have sex with random guys, I know that, and it’s fine. I’m slutty enough for the both of us. The point is, you can still have fun with Nate and it doesn’t have to be some long term thing. You could have fun for a bit. There are shades of gray between a one night stand and a relationship.”
I twist a lock of hair around my finger as Sash puts it all into perspective for me. Maybe she’s right, and I’m giving this all way too much thought. I only wanted Nate to be a distraction from Lucas in the first place. If Nate can provide some short term happiness to me, then what’s wrong with that?
I just have to remind myself not to get attached to him in the process. I can have fun without falling for somebody, I just have to keep my emotions at bay.
That’s all I have to do.
9
NATE
Dragging myself out of bed is hard when the alarm goes off. I probably got two hours if I was lucky, but I’m not complaining, at least my time was well spent, thinking of Holly.
I attempt to wake myself up with a cold shower and down a large pot of coffee. By the time I get to work, I’m feeling a little more wired, but my eyes are still heavy from sleep, and I spend the rest of the morning working like I’m nursing a hangover.
Charlie finds me at lunchtime hammering together a frame for an electrical conduit on one of the new houses.
“Don’t tell me you’re drinking to forget the pain of her.”
“Her?” I smirk.
“The one that got away, the girl that’s causing you all this trouble.”
“I had a few drinks, but nothing serious. I’m just tired.”
“Tired, hung over, whatever it is I don’t care. You look like shit and you’ve been messing up all morning. Go into town and get some coffee. Take a long lunch and have a rest. Come back when you’re recharged. I’ll have Hank drive you in, you’re not fit to handle machinery in your current state.”
Charlie seems a bit irked, but he’ll forgive me fast enough. Out of all his guys I’m the most reliable, and one night of sleep deprivation is the only blemish on my otherwise impeccable record. Hank ferries me into town and pushes a fifty into my hand.
“Boss man asked if you can pick up some cupcakes before you come back. I’m going back to site. I’ll be back for you in an hour and a half.”
I give Hank a tired salute and he drives off. I point my nose in the direction of coffee and stumble to the nearest joint. One hour later I’m topped up with caffeine and a plate full of hot food. The nourishment has helped to wake me up, and I’m definitely feeling better. I guess Charlie was right. As usual.
I’ve still got plenty of time to kill, so I decide to walk around the mall, seeing if anything takes my fancy. As I walk up and down the mall I’m noticed by a few women, and a few of them even rush over to take selfies with me. I guess I still look half decent even if I am running on fumes.
Attention from my fans has always been flattering, but I’ve also always found it a little weird. I end up taking three pictures with women I don’t know. Each one of them scribbles down their numbers and shove them into my pocket without asking. It’s obvious that the mall is a bad shopping spot if I want to lie low, so I duck outside, throwing their numbers into the bin as I head out. The mall backs onto a street with shops that are a little more upmarket. Insurance agents, lawyers, publishers—it’s the type of thing that your average consumer wouldn’t head to the mall for.
I’m walking down the street to meet up with Hank, when I spot her.
Holly.
She hops out of a large building marked ‘Bryce Publishing’ and skips down the street with a thin manila wallet in her hand. For a second it’s like the world goes into slow motion, and I forget about everything else around me, instantly getting tunnel vision. I shout her name before I can stop myself, overwhelmed with happiness at the mere sight of her.
“Holly!”
She half turns in confusion and then she spots me running toward her. A puzzled smile crosses her face.
“Now you’re definitely stalking me.”
“You caught me red handed. How you doing? I was hoping I could speak to you again.”
“I’m… I think I’m good. I just got out of a meeting and I think it went well.”
“I was across the street when I saw you step out the publishers. What’s going on?”
“Ah—well.” Her eyes flick down at the manila envelope. She looks as if she’s trying to figure out if she can tell me or not. “It’s silly actually, no one else knows apart from me—and them.”
“Are you a writer?”
Shock replaces her expression. “How did you k
now?”
“A guess. Why else would you be visiting a publisher? Is that your book? Can I read it?”
“It’s an extract. A summary of my style. And…sure. I guess you can read it.”
She hands me the envelope and I open it eagerly. The extract is only a few pages long, and I read it right there on the sidewalk, not daring to take my eyes away until I’m done. I can see her watching me the whole time, her face riddled with nerves, biting at her fingers in angst. It’s a romantic piece, and it’s obviously an extract from something longer, but it’s still fantastic. There can barely be a thousand words here, but I get chills as my eyes scan over the text. When I’m done I close the folder slowly and look up at her with my mouth open.
“…Wow. You wrote this?”
Her face is riddled with angst. She’s slow to answer, unsure if I like it or not. “Yeah, why? Is it not good? Do you think it’s bad?”
“Holly… this isn’t bad. This is beautiful. You’re a very talented writer. I’d love to read the rest. If that’s possible.”
Delight glows across her eyes, and my heart thunders in my chest at the sight. Her beauty unfolds like a lotus flower. It’s endless and only gets better the longer you look at it.
She rushes toward me and takes my face in her hands, pushing her lips hard and deep against mine. It takes me by surprise at first, but I ease into it quickly, euphoric that I have another chance to taste her perfection. Her mouth opens around my tongue, and for a minute the rest of the world melts away. My fatigue lifts like a balloon, replaced by a light inside of me that is ignited by her presence. We part finally, and I’m positively floating.
Holly glances down at her watch. “Shit, I have to get back to work. I only had the morning off for this meeting, and I’m already late back.”