Trilogy (New Directions Classic)

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Trilogy (New Directions Classic) Page 5

by Hilda Doolittle


  yet it was vision,

  it was a sign,

  it was the Angel which redeemed me,

  it was the Holy Ghost—

  a half-burnt-out apple-tree

  blossoming;

  this is the flowering of the rood,

  this is the flowering of the wood

  where Annael, we pause to give

  thanks that we rise again from death and live.

  [24]

  Every hour, every moment

  has its specific attendant Spirit;

  the clock-hand, minute by minute,

  ticks round its prescribed orbit;

  but this curious mechanical perfection

  should not separate but relate rather,

  our life, this temporary eclipse

  to that other …

  [25]

  … of the no need

  of the moon to shine in it,

  for it was ticking minute by minute

  (the clock at my bed-head,

  with its dim, luminous disc)

  when the Lady knocked;

  I was talking casually

  with friends in the other room,

  when we saw the outer hall

  grow lighter—then we saw where the door was,

  there was no door

  (this was a dream of course),

  and she was standing there,

  actually, at the turn of the stair.

  [26]

  One of us said, how odd,

  she is actually standing there,

  I wonder what brought her?

  another of us said,

  have we some power between us,

  we three together,

  that acts as a sort of magnet,

  that attracts the super-natural?

  (yet it was all natural enough,

  we agreed);

  I do not know what I said

  or if I said anything,

  for before I had time to speak,

  I realized I had been dreaming,

  that I lay awake now on my bed,

  that the luminous light

  was the phosphorescent face

  of my little clock

  and the faint knocking

  was the clock ticking.

  [27]

  And yet in some very subtle way,

  she was there more than ever,

  as if she had miraculously

  related herself to time here,

  which is no easy trick, difficult

  even for the experienced stranger,

  of whom we must be not forgetful

  for some have entertained angels unawares.

  [28]

  I had been thinking of Gabriel,

  of the moon-cycle, of the moon-shell,

  of the moon-crescent

  and the moon at full:

  I had been thinking of Gabriel,

  the moon-regent, the Angel,

  and I had intended to recall him

  in the sequence of candle and fire

  and the law of the seven;

  I had not forgotten

  his special attribute

  of annunciator; I had thought

  to address him as I had the others,

  Uriel, Annael;

  how could I imagine

  the Lady herself would come instead?

  [29]

  We have seen her

  the world over,

  Our Lady of the Goldfinch,

  Our Lady of the Candelabra,

  Our Lady of the Pomegranate,

  Our Lady of the Chair;

  we have seen her, an empress,

  magnificent in pomp and grace,

  and we have seen her

  with a single flower

  or a cluster of garden-pinks

  in a glass beside her;

  we have seen her snood

  drawn over her hair,

  or her face set in profile

  with the blue hood and stars;

  we have seen her head bowed down

  with the weight of a domed crown,

  or we have seen her, a wisp of a girl

  trapped in a golden halo;

  we have seen her with arrow, with doves

  and a heart like a valentine;

  we have seen her in fine silks imported

  from all over the Levant,

  and hung with pearls brought

  from the city of Constantine;

  we have seen her sleeve

  of every imaginable shade

  of damask and figured brocade;

  it is true,

  the painters did very well by her;

  it is true, they missed never a line

  of the suave turn of the head

  or subtle shade of lowered eye-lid

  or eye-lids half-raised; you find

  her everywhere (or did find),

  in cathedral, museum, cloister,

  at the turn of the palace stair.

  [30]

  We see her hand in her lap,

  smoothing the apple-green

  or the apple-russet silk;

  we see her hand at her throat,

  fingering a talisman

  brought by a crusader from Jerusalem;

  we see her hand unknot a Syrian veil

  or lay down a Venetian shawl

  on a polished table that reflects

  half a miniature broken column;

  we see her stare past a mirror

  through an open window,

  where boat follows slow boat on the lagoon;

  there are white flowers on the water.

  [31]

  But none of these, none of these

  suggest her as I saw her,

  though we approach possibly

  something of her cool beneficence

  in the gracious friendliness

  of the marble sea-maids in Venice,

  who climb the altar-stair

  at Santa Maria dei Miracoli,

  or we acclaim her in the name

  of another in Vienna,

  Maria von dem Schnee,

  Our Lady of the Snow.

  [32]

  For I can say truthfully,

  her veils were white as snow,

  so as no fuller on earth

  can white them; I can say

  she looked beautiful, she looked lovely,

  she was clothed with a garment

  down to the foot, but it was not

  girt about with a golden girdle,

  there was no gold, no colour

  there was no gleam in the stuff

  nor shadow of hem and seam,

  as it fell to the floor; she bore

  none of her usual attributes;

  the Child was not with her.

  [33]

  Hermes took his attribute

  of Leader-of-the-dead from Thoth

  and the T-cross becomes caduceus;

  the old-church makes its invocation

  to Saint Michael and Our Lady

  at the death-bed; Hermes Trismegistus

  spears, with Saint Michael,

  the darkness of ignorance,

  casts the Old Dragon

  into the abyss.

  [34]

  So Saint Michael,

  regent of the planet Mercury,

  is not absent

  when we summon the other Angels,

  another candle appears

  on the high-altar,

  it burns with a potent flame

  but quivers

  and quickens and darkens

  and quickens again;

  remember, it was Thoth

  with a feather

  who weighed the souls

  of the dead.

  [35]

  So she must have been pleased with us,

  who did not forgo our heritage

  at the grave-edge;

  she must have been pleased

  with the straggling company of the brush and quill

  who
did not deny their birthright;

  she must have been pleased with us,

  for she looked so kindly at us

  under her drift of veils,

  and she carried a book.

  [36]

  Ah (you say), this is Holy Wisdom,

  Santa Sophia, the SS of the Sanctus Spiritus,

  so by facile reasoning, logically

  the incarnate symbol of the Holy Ghost;

  your Holy Ghost was an apple-tree

  smouldering—or rather now bourgeoning

  with flowers; the fruit of the Tree?

  this is the new Eve who comes

  clearly to return, to retrieve

  what she lost the race,

  given over to sin, to death;

  she brings the Book of Life, obviously.

  [37]

  This is a symbol of beauty (you continue),

  she is Our Lady universally,

  I see her as you project her,

  not out of place

  flanked by Corinthian capitals,

  or in a Coptic nave,

  or frozen above the centre door

  of a Gothic cathedral;

  you have done very well by her

  (to repeat your own phrase),

  you have carved her tall and unmistakable,

  a hieratic figure, the veiled Goddess,

  whether of the seven delights,

  whether of the seven spear-points.

  [38]

  O yes—you understand, I say,

  this is all most satisfactory,

  but she wasn’t hieratic, she wasn’t frozen,

  she wasn’t very tall;

  she is the Vestal

  from the days of Numa,

  she carries over the cult

  of the Bona Dea,

  she carries a book but it is not

  the tome of the ancient wisdom,

  the pages, I imagine, are the blank pages

  of the unwritten volume of the new;

  all you say, is implicit,

  all that and much more;

  but she is not shut up in a cave

  like a Sibyl; she is not

  imprisoned in leaden bars

  in a coloured window;

  she is Psyche, the butterfly,

  out of the cocoon.

  [39]

  But nearer than Guardian Angel

  or good Daemon,

  she is the counter-coin-side

  of primitive terror;

  she is not-fear, she is not-war,

  but she is no symbolic figure

  of peace, charity, chastity, goodness,

  faith, hope, reward;

  she is not Justice with eyes

  blindfolded like Love’s;

  I grant you the dove’s symbolic purity,

  I grant you her face was innocent

  and immaculate and her veils

  like the Lamb’s Bride,

  but the Lamb was not with her,

  either as Bridegroom or Child;

  her attention is undivided,

  we are her bridegroom and lamb;

  her book is our book; written

  or unwritten, its pages will reveal

  a tale of a Fisherman,

  a tale of a jar or jars,

  the same—different—the same attributes,

  different yet the same as before.

  [40]

  This is no rune nor symbol,

  what I mean is—it is so simple

  yet no trick of the pen or brush

  could capture that impression;

  what I wanted to indicate was

  a new phase, a new distinction of colour;

  I wanted to say, I did say

  there was no sheen, no reflection,

  no shadow; when I said white,

  I did not mean sculptor’s or painter’s white,

  nor porcelain; dim-white could

  not suggest it, for when

  is fresh-fallen snow (or snow

  in the act of falling) dim?

  yet even now, we stumble, we are lost—

  what can we say?

  she was not impalpable like a ghost,

  she was not awe-inspiring like a Spirit,

  she was not even over-whelming

  like an Angel.

  [41]

  She carried a book, either to imply

  she was one of us, with us,

  or to suggest she was satisfied

  with our purpose, a tribute to the Angels;

  yet though the campanili spoke,

  Gabriel, Azrael,

  though the campanili answered,

  Raphael, Uriel,

  thought a distant note over-water

  chimed Annael, and Michael

  was implicit from the beginning,

  another, deep, un-named, resurging bell

  answered, sounding through them all:

  remember, where there was

  no need of the moon to shine …

  I saw no temple.

  [42]

  Some call that deep-deep bell

  Zadkiel, the righteousness of God,

  he is regent of Jupiter

  or Zeus-pater or Theus-pater,

  Theus, God; God-the-father, father-god

  or the Angel god-father,

  himself, heaven yet at home in a star

  whose colour is amethyst,

  whose candle burns deep-violet

  with the others.

  [43]

  And the point in the spectrum

  where all lights become one,

  is white and white is not no-colour,

  as we were told as children

  but all-colour;

  where the flames mingle

  and the wings meet, when we gain

  the arc of perfection,

  we are satisfied, we are happy,

  we begin again;

  I John saw. I testify

  to rainbow feathers, to the span of heaven

  and walls of colour,

  the colonnades of jasper;

  but when the jewel

  melts in the crucible,

  we find not ashes, not ash-of-rose,

  not a tall vase and a staff of lilies,

  not vas spirituale,

  not rosa mystica even,

  but a cluster of garden-pinks

  or a face like a Christmas-rose.

  __________

  This is the flowering of the rod,

  this is the flowering of the burnt-out wood,

  where, Zadkiel, we pause to give

  thanks that we rise again from death and live.

  London

  May 17-31, 1944.

  THE FLOWERING OF THE ROD

  To Norman Holmes Pearson

  … pause to give

  thanks that we rise again from death and live.

  [1]

  O the beautiful garment,

  the beautiful raiment—

  do not think of His face

  or even His hands,

  do not think how we will stand

  before Him;

  remember the snow

  on Hermon;

  do not look below

  where the blue gentian

  reflects geometric pattern

  in the ice-floe;

  do not be beguiled

  by the geometry of perfection

  for even now,

  the terrible banner

  darkens the bridge-head;

  we have shown

  that we could stand;

  we have withstood

  the anger, frustration,

  bitter fire of destruction;

  leave the smouldering cities below

  (we have done all we could),

  we have given until we have no more to give;

  alas, it was pity, rather than love, we gave;

  now having given all, let us leave all;

  above all, let us leave pity

  and mount higher
/>   to love—resurrection.

  [2]

  I go where I love and where I am loved,

  into the snow;

  I go to the things I love

  with no thought of duty or pity;

  I go where I belong, inexorably,

  as the rain that has lain long

  in the furrow; I have given

  or would have given

  life to the grain;

  but if it will not grow or ripen

  with the rain of beauty,

  the rain will return to the cloud;

  the harvester sharpens his steel on the stone;

  but this is not our field,

  we have not sown this;

  pitiless, pitiless, let us leave

  The-place-of-a-skull

  to those who have fashioned it.

  [3]

  In resurrection, there is confusion

  if we start to argue; if we stand and stare,

  we do not know where to go;

  in resurrection, there is simple affirmation,

  but do not delay to round up the others,

  up and down the street; your going

  in a moment like this, is the best proof

  that you know the way;

  does the first wild-goose stop to explain

  to the others? no—he is off;

  they follow or not

  that is their affair;

  does the first wild-goose care

  whether the others follow or not?

  I don’t think so—he is so happy to be off—

  he knows where he is going;

  so we must be drawn or we must fly,

  like the snow-geese of the Arctic circle,

  to the Carolinas or to Florida,

  or like those migratory flocks

  who still (they say) hover

  over the lost island, Atlantis;

  seeking what we once knew,

  we know ultimately we will find

  happiness; to-day shalt thou be

  with me in Paradise.

  [4]

  Blue-geese, white-geese, you may say,

  yes, I know this duality, this double nostalgia;

  I know the insatiable longing

  in winter, for palm-shadow

 

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