Galen nodded in agreement. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll see you later.
“Thanks.” Nice kid. But Galen’s heart was beginning to pound as he took the oh-so-familiar path to the back of the house. Nothing and everything had changed since he’d last been here. The grass gave way to sand where Adirondack chairs encircled a fire pit. Just off to one side was a big swing where Kjersten sat, gazing out over the water and rocking back and forth, the swing creaking in time to the gentle lapping of the water.
“Kjersten?” he called.
Immediately, the creaking stopped and she looked up.
“Galen? Is that you?”
“Yeah.” He walked over to the swing.
Kjersten straightened up and adjusted the loose sweatshirt that she was wearing. “I think Soren’s in the house.”
“I know. I told him that I wanted to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.” Her face shone palely in the moonlight. “Okay. I’m listening. Do you want to sit down?”
She’s so beautiful it hurts. “Sure.” Galen sat down beside her and the ancient wooden swing creaked under his weight. He chuckled softly.
“What?”
“We’ve done this before so many times. And now, here we are again. I didn’t know back then how much I would miss moments like this, moments that I just took for granted.”
Nervously, Kjersten shifted her body away from him. “This fit better when we were little,” she affirmed.
“Oh, I don’t know,” Galen commented. “It feels pretty good to me right now.” He was very aware of the warmth of her thigh through her jeans. He breathed in the fresh breeze off the lake. Now, there was an underlying note of vanilla, of her. It was so familiar and yet exotic. He glanced over at her, but she wouldn’t meet his gaze. He studied her profile. “I want to explain to you what happened the night of Coach Murray’s wedding, why I left.”
She glanced over at him. Her eyes were bright with emotion. “Don’t worry about it. There’s nothing to say really. It’s just what you do, leave, when you can’t handle things.” Her tone was flat and brutal.
Fair. “I know,” he agreed and she appeared surprised by his candor.
“Just let it go then. Please don’t bring it up and embarrass us both.”
“But I don’t want it to be over. I don’t think I ever did. I was just messed up after Mom died.” He reached out took her right hand in his. Hers was cool to the touch.
But she pulled her hand away. “No. Not again. I can’t go through this again, Galen. You’ve broken my heart too many times. It’s a pattern with us and it’s not a healthy one.” The pain was there, etched into her lovely features. “You make a habit of pulling away just when we get close.”
“I want to talk about it. All of it. Mom dying. Us breaking up. Cam.” He spat the name out.
She stared down at her tennis shoes, her long curtain of hair sliding forward to hide her face. “Yeah.” She tucked her hair back behind her ear. “Cam and I happened. And I don’t regret it. We had some good times and I learned from it. It helped me to understand that I need to be okay with myself before I can be in a relationship. I can’t be in a relationship with someone who can just turn off his feelings. She was quiet for a moment. “It’s not like you haven’t dated other people since we broke up,” she muttered in a small voice.
“I know. It’s just that, Cam? I don’t get it. He’s such an asshole and you knew that.”
“I never claimed to be perfect.” Kjersten shrugged. “Maybe dating him, at least at first, had something to do with wanting to get your attention. Just let it go.”
He studied her features intently. “Well, it pissed me off, still does. But I know I was a total wreck. I was hurting. I didn’t know how to deal with things.” He shrugged. “I fucked up. Then, you were with Cam, and that about killed me. I mean, just thinking of him with you makes me want to throw up.”
“Okay, we’re done here,” Kjersten rose to her feet. “I’m done. I’m not going to listen to jealous bullshit. You dumped me, remember. You wouldn’t take my calls. You ignored my letters. You checked out. We both saw other people. You’re the one with the Cam hang up. Not me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Please, just sit back down. I don’t want to talk about any of that either. It’s all done... This is hard, but I gotta say it. I just want to know if you feel anything for me at all? Do we have chance?” The words burst out of his mouth in a staccato rhythm.
Kjersten sighed heavily and sat down. “Of course I care about you, Galen, but you are always running away, shutting yourself off from me, and I’m done chasing you. I know now that just because you want something, it doesn’t necessarily happen. I loved you, Galen, part of me always will, but I can’t do this thing that we do anymore. So I’d like you to leave now.”
“It wasn’t always like that. We were good together. Remember? That night of the wedding, I found something out, something enormous, and I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t handle it yet.”
“That’s always been the problem, Galen. When two people are together, you handle things together. You’ve never gotten that. I don’t know what you found out at the wedding, but it doesn’t matter now. You cut me out again... It’s too late, just too late for us.” Her words were soft and pain filled. She stood up and began to walk away. Every line of her body was sorrowful and yet determined.
Galen stood up and went after her. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her up against his body. He gripped her upper arms gently, feeling the strength in them. Closing his eyes, he pressed his nose into the silkiness of her hair. He inhaled deeply of her and she groaned softly in response. She hasn’t forgotten how it can be between us. Her slender curves fit into the hollows of his firm muscular one. “Please... please,” he whispered the word into her hair. For the first time in forever, he felt right, like he was home.
And for a long moment, the spell held. She leaned back into him. He could feel her heart racing against him. All of his senses were on instant alert. He was growing hard and hungry. He nuzzled the tender skin of her neck. It can’t end now. It can’t be over, not when we both feel this way.
“Stop.” The word was weak and soft. “Stop.” The word was louder and clearer. Then, she pulled away from him.
I can’t hold onto her. I have to let her go. He gripped his hands in frustration to keep from reaching out for her.
“No, Galen.” She pulled away and turned to look at him. Her eyes were wild and bright with tears. “I can’t. I won’t risk you hurting me again.”
No words came to him. Instead, he reached out once more and rested his hands on her denim covered hips, he drew her back to him. She didn’t resist. Instead, she leaned back into him and her eyes closed and then she was kissing him, deeply, passionately, desperately. They couldn’t get close enough to each other. Her hands gripped his shoulders and then her nails dug into his back. Galen ground his erection against her, straining ever closer. Then, releasing her hip, he drew his hand up and between them and gripped her breast. He felt her nearly growl at the sensation.
Suddenly, the lights came on on the Solheim deck. Galen and Kjersten broke apart, both breathing hard.
Mr. Solheim stepped out on the porch and then headed for the boat house. He didn’t appear to notice them.
Kjersten stared at Galen, her eyes raw and bright with emotion and tears. She touched her lips with her fingertips, the motion nearly breaking his heart. Then, she turned and ran to the house.
Galen was left standing alone in the moonlight. She hadn’t said there was a chance for them, but she hadn’t denied it either. The kiss that she’d initiated had given him a very different message. She still cares. There’s still a chance for us, despite what she says.
He headed back to the Happe cabin with a new lightness to his step.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Changes
~ Galen ~
Galen had thanked the Happe�
��s, said ‘goodbye’ to Ben, and then began the hour long ride home. The whole way home, his mind was spinning. When he turned onto the gravel lane into the farm, he was wide awake and not tired at all. There was too much to think about. Kjersten kissed me back.
Surprisingly, the lights were on in the clapboard house. Most nights, Jim Odgers didn’t bother to turn the lights on. Galen parked the car and made his way to the screen door. Swinging it wide, he stepped into a brightly lit kitchen.
“Hey there, little brother,” Kyle grinned at him from his chair.
“Hey Kyle. Sandra? What’s up?” Galen asked taking in his two older siblings.
Kyle grinned. “We’ve been waiting for you, Galen. We have news for you. Big news.”
“Sit down,” Sandra directed, looking calm but pleased.
“You know that Sweet Clover Dairy consortium? They've bought a couple of farms out in Pleasant Valley,” Kyle commented.
“Yeah, I think so. The Happes said something about the Wilkins selling out. The farm has been in that family for generations.” Galen sat down on a chair.
None of the kids wanted to work it,” Kyle continued. “They've all moved away and Jerry's getting too old to do it by himself."
“Kyle, you're one of a dying breed,” Sandra commented, patting his hand.
“Not anymore. Galen, the family dairy farm is a thing of the past. The deal is Green Clover has offered me a job managing three or four dairy farms for them.”
“What?” Galen echoed, totally taken off guard. He glanced between Sandra and Kyle.
“The farm has been just barely scraping by for years. You know that,” Kyle stated.
“Well, I knew things were tight.”
“Tight,” Kyle snorted. “I’ve been worried that we were going to go bankrupt every year for the past four. Somehow, we’ve scraped by, but we’ve been hurting big time for a while now.”
“You never told me.”
“You had things going on. You needed to concentrate on school and football. There wasn’t a thing that you could do anyway. So, I started working at a couple of the Green Clover farms part time. I liked the way things were run at those farms. I also like that the full time guys who work there get time off and benefits. So when Green Clover needed another manager, I applied. The personnel manager there thought that I would be a good fit because I’m young and I know the industry inside and out. All the dairy farmers around here know and like me and I have some college. I finished my Associate’s Degree at the tech last fall.”
“You graduated?” Galen asked dumbfounded.
“It wasn’t like I was going to some big, fancy school like you. Besides, until the very end, I wasn’t sure that I would finish. Not many people take five years to finish an Associate’s Degree,” Kyle derided himself.
“I wish that you’d told me about it sooner. I mean, I knew that you were taking classes. Did you walk and everything?”
“Nah, I just had them mail the diploma to me. I don’t need all that crap. Listen, Galen, I took the job. I’ll be the Assistant Manager of Production at Green Clover, Pleasant Valley. The head guy is an old friend of Tom Murray’s. Tom’s the one who told me to apply for the job.”
“Congratulations.” Galen reached for his brother and hugged him tightly.
Kyle pounded his younger brother enthusiastically on the back. “I finally feel free of all this,” he said and waved an arm about the room. “I haven’t felt this good since before Mom got sick. I feel good, there are no two ways about it. Life would be perfect if I had a stogie.”
“Galen, we’re thinking of selling the farm,” Sandra cut straight to the point.
“What? Are you serious?”
“It’s too small to run as a business,” Sandra explained. “We can get a good price for the land now. We’ll move Pop into town, to an assisted living facility. It’s no good him being out here all day on his own.”
“What about you, Kyle? Where are you gonna live?”
“I was thinking about renting a place over on Half Penny Lake. There’s a small cabin that would be great for me. The owners are some retired people who don’t hunt anymore, so they’re renting it out. It’s right on the lake, so I can fish whenever I want.”
“But we have to get moving on all this,” Sandra stated. “It’s what’s best, Galen. The farm will go under if we don’t sell while we can.
“We prefer selling out to being foreclosed upon,” Kyle explained.
“A bid came through on the land Wednesday and just tonight Kyle was offered that job. All of this is sudden for us, too. We didn’t keep anything from you, except how bad the farm’s financial situation is,” Sandra said.
“But both of you guys kept sending me money.”
“You never told me that you were sending him money.” Sandra pointedly stared at Kyle.
Kyle was embarrassed. “I just sent him a couple of fives or a ten when I had them handy. Couldn’t stand thinking about the kid having no money down there, but don’t want to get off the subject. If we sell the farm now, we’d get out from under our debts and make some money, too.”
Galen thrust his hand through his hair. “It’s weird thinking about you not being here,” he commented, looking at his brother.
“This is my chance, Galen. I want to do other things, too. Maybe travel a little. I’ve worked this farm every day all day since I graduated from high school, pretty much by myself. I’m fighting a losing battle out here.”
“I understand. You’ve had this whole place on your shoulders since you were eighteen. It sucks. I get it. Does Pop know what’s happening?”
Kyle snorted.
“Galen,” Sandra broke in. “We’ve all known for years that something’s not right with Pop. Dr. Walker, he’s the new general practitioner in town, had us take Pop to a neurologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester; his name is Dr. Brady. He told us that Pop has pretty significant mental deterioration at this point, dementia. Pop needs full time care. It’s the right time now.”
“You mean he needs a keeper.”
“He sure does,” Kyle inserted. “He just wanders off, and then I have to drop everything and go look for him. He’s gonna hurt himself sometime, but there’s no telling him. It just doesn’t sink in. I’ve been trying to take care of this place and him, but there’s no way. You know what one of those places cost? The money from the land will sure come in handy taking care of Pop. We’ll all be starting off free and clear.”
Galen recognized the entreaty in Kyle’s voice. “I had no idea that things were that bad.”
“We’ve been treading water around here for years, just keeping our heads above water, and putting off making decisions. We’re taking control now. It’s the best for everyone, including Pop,” Sandra concluded.
“Okay.” Galen agreed with a deep breath. “Have you told him?”
Kyle and Sandra both nodded.
“We did tonight,” Kyle said.
“It didn’t go well,” Sandra commented.
“That’s putting it mildly,” Kyle shook his head.
Galen considered for a moment. Then, he exhaled slowly. “This has been a lot to swallow in one night, but I’m with you guys all the way on this. Change is good.” He nodded his head. “Hopefully there will be a lot of changes.”
“Good,” Kyle commented clapping his brother on the shoulder.
Sandra smiled. “Wow, I’m glad that’s over. Let’s celebrate.” She rose to her feet. “I don’t have champagne, but I brought some Leinies.” She pulled three bottles of beer out of the refrigerator and handed one to each brother.
“Summer Shandy,” Kyle groaned, “a girly drink. Let’s pull out the Jack Daniel’s and really celebrate.”
The siblings sat around the table chatting and planning, unaware that someone else was listening in on their conversation.
Chapter Thirty
Confessions
~ Cam Fawst ~
Cam watched Tom make his way through The Nasty Habit. The bar w
as quiet, but that was to be expected as it was a Wednesday night and eight at night, way too early in the evening and in the week for the hard partying crowd. Tom was squinting through the darkness, obviously trying to locate him. Cam raised his hand and waved and as he watched, a perky, petite waitress intercepted Tom. There was a brief discussion and then she led Tom over to where Cam sat at a round table.
“Cam, good to see you.” Tom held out his hand.
Cam rose and shook it firmly. His smile was wary but genuine. Had Coach heard about his fight with Galen? Would he be pissed with him? “Good to see you, too, Tom.”
“I was glad you called. Maggie and her girls are at her sister’s. I needed to get out and I’m always glad to see one of my players.”
Inside, Cam cringed. One of your players. It shouldn’t bug me, but it does.
“So what brings you to Eagle River, Cam?” Tom smiled as he took a seat.
“My mom had to have a procedure, and the trainers said my ribs needed a break so coach gave me two days.”
“Your mother all right?”
“She should be fine now. She was having some woman problems.”
Tom nodded, clearly not wanting to pursue the subject. “I’m glad she’s going to be okay. I thought that Bethany had moved to Milwaukee.”
“She did for a while, but then she moved back. Eagle River is home to her.”
“Can I bring you anything to drink?” The pert, pony tailed waitress interrupted.
“What you got there, Cam?”
He twisted the bottle in his hand. “Spotted Cow.”
“I’ll have one, too.”
The mini-skirted waitress who was gazing at Cam in blissful adoration smiled, nodded, and backed away to the bar.
“You’ve certainly impressed her.” Tom chuckled.
“She wants to be impressed. That’s her number.” Cam gestured at the small, folded napkin in the middle of the table. “Watch her when she walks by again. She’ll check to see if I’ve picked it up yet.”
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