What if he ran his hand over that curve? How would she react if he pulled her against him and showed her how crazy she was making him? If it were any other woman in the world lying next to him, he wouldn’t think twice. But the one woman in the world he burned to make love to was the only one he couldn’t touch.
Bitter irony. His need for her tasted like ashes in his mouth.
But he had to concentrate on what was most important. Soon he’d be moving to a small town in the middle of the Australian desert. He’d grabbed an enormous plot of land near a mine that was undergoing expansion, and the money he’d make from putting up hundreds of houses for the mine workers would secure his father’s legacy. Two years of his life wasn’t a lot to ask.
For all his father’s faults, Jake couldn’t bear the thought of letting him down. And once the market picked up, they could get back to building the bespoke houses his father had taken such pride in.
A gentle pattering of water distracted his thoughts. Soft rain on the leaves that covered their roof. A pleasant sound when you were warm and dry inside, and he and Carin had built their roof well enough that it shouldn’t leak.
He dragged his eyes away from Carin’s too-tempting shape in the darkness. Come to think of it, a cold shower wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Silently easing himself up, he went out, shirtless, into the rain. The four team campfires were sputtering and starting to die, and dark clouds had covered the moon and stars. Still, it was warm enough that the rain wasn’t entirely unpleasant. At least out here, he wasn’t breathing in Carin’s scent. He wanted her so badly, it felt like needles under his skin.
The sand was damp and cold under his bare feet, but he walked toward the sound of the sea. He didn’t see the person sitting on the sand until he was about to walk into them.
“Couldn’t sleep?” asked a female voice as the woman turned to look at him. With the dying campfire behind him, she could probably see him better than he could see her, but her voice told him it was Sally.
Just what he didn’t need.
“Not so much.” He took a step back. “I didn’t know you were out here. I’ll leave you—”
“Wait. Please don’t go, Jake. Sit with me for a minute?”
He let out his breath, considered refusing, then eased himself down next to her. A heart-to-heart in the early hours of the morning wasn’t something he was going to enjoy. Still, it was better to clear the air now with no cameras or microphones recording them.
They sat in silence as the rain sprinkled them with soft, cold drops. The sea was too dark to see, but the sound of the waves was soothing.
“I really liked you,” Sally said finally, her tone flat. “Foolish, I know. But after that night we spent together, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
She paused as though waiting for him to talk, but Jake didn’t know what to say. He’d hurt her, that was clear. But he’d tried very hard not to. What else could he have done?
“Sure you said you weren’t looking for a girlfriend. Silly me, I hoped you’d change your mind.” She puffed out her breath. “I thought you’d like sleeping with me so much, you’d want to keep doing it.”
Jake grunted. Better to say nothing, when whatever he said would come out wrong.
“I met Sam a few nights later. He was your polar opposite. Falling over himself to tell me how much he liked me. How he wanted to keep seeing me. It was what I needed, exactly when I needed it.”
“I’m glad you found someone who could make you happy.” Jake lifted his face to the rain. It was light enough to be more of a fine mist.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “Only, I’ve been wondering if he’s a rebound guy. He proposed a few weeks after we met, and I said yes. But now I’m questioning whether we should have waited.” She gave a little sigh. “But you moved just as quickly, didn’t you? After telling me you weren’t the type of guy who could ever commit to a relationship, you must have gotten engaged fast too.”
“Carin’s my best friend.” He hesitated, deciding how much to tell Sally. She deserved something from him. He would never have slept with her if he’d known it would affect her so deeply.
“Carin and I aren’t really engaged,” he admitted reluctantly. “She’s an actress. Coming here was an opportunity for her to advance her career.”
“Oh.” Sally let out an audible breath. “Okay. Maybe it shouldn’t, but that actually makes me feel a little better.”
“I’ve changed,” said Jake into the darkness. “I’ve stopped doing the things I used to.” It helped not to be able to see her face as he said the words. Like a promise made to the night as much as himself, or to her.
“Doing what?” she asked.
“I’m not going on any more dates. No more one night stands. I’m done.”
She let out a surprised laugh. “What, so you’re going to be celibate? Come on, a guy like you?”
A guy like him? He knew what she meant. A player. Just like his father.
Even Sally could see what he was and he’d only spent a few hours with her. If it was in his blood, was it something he could change?
He wiped the damp sand off his hands and shifted his weight to stand, but she caught his arm before he could get up.
“Don’t go yet,” she said. “The rain’s almost stopped. Sam’s snoring so loudly, I can’t sleep, and it’s wetter in our shelter than it is out here. I don’t know how all the drips don’t wake him.”
“If you cut some leaves tomorrow, I’ll help you make your shelter waterproof.”
“I hate it here.” Her hand tightened on his arm. “I wish I hadn’t come. Truth is, Sam and I have been fighting since we arrived. I don’t know if we’re still going to get married.”
“You should talk to him about that. Not me.” Jake licked rainwater off his lips. She was right, the rain had all but stopped.
“But if we’re not right for each other, I should call off the wedding. I shouldn’t go through with it, right?”
“I’m not the right person to give relationship advice, Sally.”
“I know.” She sighed. “But I’ve got nobody to talk to here. You have no idea how sick of this place I am. We won oatmeal and rice when we first arrived, but that was gone in no time. We’ve eaten nothing but fish for weeks. I’ve forgotten what it feels like not to be hungry, and that sweet food we won today only made it worse. Now I can’t stop dreaming about getting home and eating whatever I want.”
Jake grunted sympathetically as Sally kept talking, her words coming out in a rush.
“None of us could believe it when you two walked onto the beach. And when I saw it was you, I just about died. I told them all about you in the interviews we did before getting on the show. I suppose they approached you? They must have asked you to join the competition just to mess with me.”
Jake shook his head. “It was bad luck. And if it’s any consolation, the director doesn’t want us to win. We’re only here to add drama.”
“I’m not sure I care about the competition anymore. Sam wanted a challenge, and I was tempted by the prize money. Five hundred grand would solve a lot of problems, you know? But I don’t think we’re going to win, so all this has been for nothing.”
He hadn’t even thought to ask what the prize was for winning. Five hundred thousand dollars was a lot of money. If he and Carin won it, she’d be able to quit her job at the coffee shop. And he could make sure everyone’s jobs were secure while the company weathered the market downturn and came out the other side.
Only they weren’t here to win the competition. They wouldn’t get any prize money so it wasn’t worth thinking about how much it would help.
“You might win.” He stood up and stretched. “You must be soaked to the bone. Better go and get warm.”
“I’m not cold. You won’t stay and talk?”
“Talk to Sam.” He made his tone gentle. “Good night, Sally.”
“Good night.”
He went softly back into their shelter so as not to wake Car
in, but their bed of leaves wasn’t exactly quiet and she stirred when he crawled in next to her.
“I heard you talking to someone,” she said sleepily. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” He fumbled for his T-shirt and used it to dry his face and body. “I got up for a minute and ran into Sally.”
Carin made a sound in the back of her throat. “Seriously? Jake, she’s getting married. Don’t get caught with her or we might be kicked off the show.”
“It wasn’t like that.” His shorts would dry on their own. He lay full length next to Carin, staring up at their leaf ceiling, feeling the warmth returning to his limbs.
“Sure it wasn’t. You can’t help yourself, can you?”
That stung. How bad did she think he was? “I’m not my father,” he said. “At least, I don’t have to be.”
He’d never said that out loud before. A couple of times he and Hendrix had joked that they’d inherited a scumbag gene and neither of them would ever be able to be faithful. But he’d rather sever a limb than betray Carin.
Betray Carin again, he corrected. He’d already done it once, and the consequences had been devastating.
Leaves rustled as she rolled onto her side to face him. “I know you’re not. But this is important to me.”
He rolled too, so he was facing away from her. So he wouldn’t have to smell her sweet breath and see the curve of her cheek.
“I won’t do anything to get us kicked off the show,” he said.
“Thank you.” She snuggled closer, her body warm against his damp one. Her thigh touched his. Her knee fit perfectly into the bend of his leg, and her sleepy, contented exhale just about killed him. “You’re wet. And cold. Is it raining?”
“Not anymore.” He eased away, creating distance between them. If they didn’t touch, it was easier. Maybe in the morning he’d have time to add a second bedroom to their shelter. While he was at it, he could hide her damn bikini and leave only loose, long clothing for her to wear instead. And coat her in mud to disguise her scent? If only.
All he could really do was fasten his mask a little tighter. Lock down every emotion. Push his feelings so deep, they’d suffocate and die. Yeah, that he could do.
“You were right about the shelter,” she murmured. “Took a long time but it was worth it.”
“The best things take time,” he said softly. Like their friendship. Built over twenty years, yet it could be so easily destroyed. Deliberately he shuffled further away from her warmth, curves and scent, and mentally added bricks between them, shoring up the wall he’d constructed in his mind.
Her heavy breathing told him she’d fallen back asleep right away, but even with his back turned, it took a long time for him to follow.
13
When Carin woke up, she blinked at the leaves and sticks above her. It took a moment to remember where she was. Sucking in her breath, she jerked her head to the side. Jake wasn’t next to her. She let the air escape slowly, not sure how she felt about waking up alone. It had felt good — too good — falling asleep next to him last night. Warm and comforting, which had been nice. But at the same time, their kiss had replayed itself over and over, leaving her body like a vibrating guitar string, stretched too tight.
Jake was all kinds of wrong for her. Hadn’t they proven that already? But her mind had gone to places it shouldn’t have. She’d lain there wishing he’d put his arms around her and kiss her again.
What was wrong with her? Seriously, did she want to get cheated on and have another panic attack? Or add her name to the long list of deluded women who’d imagined they’d be the one Jake Sturne might want to get serious about?
Jake came into view and dropped an armload of dead branches next to their fire. It must have gone out during the night. What time was it? It felt too early, and she was far too comfortable to get up.
“Morning,” he said. When he bent to look at her, she couldn’t help but notice how ruggedly handsome being unshaven and tousle-haired made him. “Sleep well?”
“Amazingly well.” She eased out of the shelter, blinking in the dawn light. Her muscles weren’t as sore as she thought they’d be after a night sleeping on the ground. “The mattress you made was comfortable—.”
Then she saw the crowd behind Jake. Two cameramen had their cameras levelled at her, a sound guy was thrusting out a boom to record her, and a couple of crew stood behind them, measuring light or whatever they did with all that complicated equipment.
She let out a squeak and retracted back into their shelter like a turtle into its shell. Quickly, she finger-combed her hair and re-covered her pockmarked face as best she could with her illegally smuggled concealer. Shame about the dim light and lack of any kind of mirror. She double-checked the crew couldn’t see her before changing into her bikini and pulling her T-shirt on over the top. When she finally emerged, she made a show of yawning prettily as though she’d just woken up.
“Lovely day,” she said with a bright smile, angling her face so her best side was toward the cameras.
Jake was busy re-lighting their campfire. Dried leaves smoldered while he blew gently, then he fed the small flames with tiny twigs.
It had only been one day, and already Jake was as good at lighting fires as any caveman would have been. Was there anything he couldn’t master? If she’d searched high and low, she couldn’t have picked anyone better to come to Lantana with. She wanted to hug him, only he was focused on what he was doing, and she was dying for a pee.
Instead, she hurried to the portable toilets hidden behind the tree line — at least the cameras never followed her there. Then she went down to the ocean for a swim in lieu of a shower. When she finally got back to their camp, Jake was heating something in the pot over the stove.
He nodded to a cup on the ground. “There’s only water to drink. But I can heat it if you want to pretend it’s coffee.”
“Cold is good, thanks.” She picked it up and took a sip. “Are you cooking oatmeal?”
He nodded. “I called room service, but they wouldn’t deliver omelets. We should think about changing hotels.”
“But this one has such a great bed.”
Jake slopped the cooked oatmeal onto plates and handed one to her. It looked like goop. Unappetizing goop.
“I don’t usually eat breakfast,” she said, wrinkling her nose.
“You do today. We don’t know what they’ve got planned for us, but I doubt we’ll get to lie on the beach and drink cocktails.”
“Good point.” She sat down on one of the logs next to the fire and took a bite. “This doesn’t taste nearly as bad as it looks.” She nodded approvingly. “First you built me a shelter, then cooked dinner, and now breakfast. I’m starting to think you’re a pretty good catch.”
His gaze met hers, and her cheeks heated a little. Though she’d teased him like this a million times, that was before she’d kissed him. Although they’d agreed not to let last night’s kiss change anything, she couldn’t help but look at him differently today. Like how she’d noticed he looked gorgeous when he was unshaven.
But she couldn’t let the cameras see her discomfort. The cameramen were circling, recording every expression. She looked down at her bowl and concentrated on eating her oatmeal.
Jake picked up his own plate of oatmeal and stood up. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Where are you going?”
He was already walking away, toward Sally and Sam’s campfire. The two blonde contestants were sitting beside it cooking a fish. Ugh. Fish was the last thing she’d want to eat for breakfast.
She squinted into the dawn light, watching Jake stop in front of their campfire to talk to the couple. Then he held out the bowl of oatmeal. Carin frowned. Was he giving his breakfast away?
Sally took the bowl. The look in her eyes as she gazed at Jake made Carin’s heart contract. He’d been talking to her last night while Carin was sleeping, and now he was giving her food? In front of her fiancé? If there was something going on
between them, Jake wasn’t even trying to hide it. He had cameramen hovering around him like flies circling cow poop, and they were filming the whole thing.
“Where’s your mic?” The sound guy interrupted her thoughts. “You’re supposed to be wearing it.”
Carin found it and let him clip it on her. By the time he was done, Jake was walking back to their fire, the cameras following. Maybe the sound guy had wanted her wired up in case they had a confrontation? In that case, he’d be disappointed. No matter how many women Jake dated, Carin didn’t have the right to object. His love life was his business.
Still, her stomach twisted when she saw Sally gazing after Jake as though he were a superhero, complete with cape. He’d already broken Sally’s heart once, yet she looked like she was ready for more.
Carin wouldn’t make the same mistake.
“Sally mentioned they’d been eating fish for weeks,” Jake explained as he approached. “I thought she and Sam might appreciate oatmeal for a change.”
“Sure.” Carin had lost her appetite. She got to her feet and held out her half-finished bowl of breakfast. “In that case, you should eat this.”
“No, you finish it.”
“You need to eat something, and I want to go for a walk.” She thrust the bowl into his hands and hurried away. Some exercise would help clear her head. Yesterday’s kiss had confused her, and she needed to sort out her thoughts. The important thing was how she came across on camera. She couldn’t argue with Jake in public, even if he wasn’t being discreet about his attraction to another woman.
She walked quickly up the beach, outpacing the cameramen who tried to follow. “Delicious but deadly,” she muttered to herself before remembering she was wearing a microphone.
Walking fast, it only took a few minutes to reach the end of the beach. Still, by the time she turned around to walk back, she’d taken several deep breaths and was ready to face the cameras.
Jake’s attraction to Sally could be a good thing. After all, Carin wanted to play the part of a fallen angel, and the villain in Bozier’s new show would probably have kicked Sally’s ass by now. Jake had handed her an opportunity to get in character and start showing Bozier how great she’d be in that role.
The Engagement Game Page 8