“No point,” she said. “I’m leaving too. My bridges are burned here, but my agent thinks I might still have a chance of getting a part in LA. There are more opportunities there.”
He’d burned her bridges here. “I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Anyway.” Her voice rose over a noise in the background. “I’ve got to go. Customers to serve.”
He tightened his grip on the phone. “I’ll call you from the Northern Territory.”
“Why? Do you think you’ll change? Because I just found out my best friend isn’t the person I thought he was. He’s been lying to me since we were eight years old.”
“I lied to you because I hated the thought of hurting you.”
“Your lying hurt me, Jake.”
“I know.”
But the phone had gone dead. She’d hung up without saying goodbye.
Jake dragged his running shoes out of his suitcase where he’d just packed them away, and hit the pavement. Music blasting through his headphones, he ran much faster than he usually did, pounding up hills and sprinting down them until he was sweat-soaked and gasping for breath.
When he finally staggered home, Hendrix was waiting for him with a pizza box in one hand. He took in Jake’s appearance with raised eyebrows, but was wise enough not to comment. Hendrix left the pizza box in the kitchen, sat on one of the living room couches, and waited while Jake gulped down a long glass of water and then hit the shower.
By the time Jake was dressed, he felt a little better. Sure, he still had a throbbing ache in his chest, and frustration bubbling in his stomach. But at least he’d been able to mute it a little. Like punching himself in the face to distract himself from the searing pain of a freshly-amputated limb.
What else could he do? He’d screwed things up beyond fixing. And knowing that Carin was better off without him didn’t make it any easier.
“I submitted the plans of your soulless boxes for approval.” Hendrix tapped the large rolled-up sheets of paper he’d put on the coffee table. “Here are the copies.”
Jake sat down and smoothed the papers out flat, staring at the rows of identical shapes. Now that he was about to leave, he was dreading this project more than ever. He was about to spend years of his life building these houses, and though they’d be affordable, the mine’s new employees wouldn’t love living in them. That knowledge was enough to suck any shred of enjoyment out of building them.
“Pizza?” asked Hendrix, standing up. “It’s pepperoni.”
“Sure.” He helped Hendrix dish it up, and they took it back into the living room to eat so they could talk over the plans. Hendrix filled him in on all the detail of the consents.
“For someone who didn’t want to do this project, you’ve been thorough,” said Jake.
Hendrix shrugged. “I don’t like it, but I can see why you’re doing it. I still think there’s a better way to get the company back on its feet, but I’m done arguing.”
“Once this project’s over, we can do something more fun,” Jake promised. “More in keeping with what Dad would want.”
“Sure.” Hendrix swallowed a bite of pizza. “You all packed?”
“Mostly. Flight’s at ten.”
“Just one more thing to do, then.” Hendrix leaned forward and snagged the TV remote off the coffee table. He thumbed on the TV and switched it to the channel where the Labor of Love show had already started. “I’ve been looking forward to seeing this.” He leaned back with a slice of pizza in his hand, settling himself more comfortably on the couch. “Hope they filmed you doing something embarrassing.”
Jake stared at the screen, his breath catching in his throat. He and Carin were building their lean-to, and the camera lingered over her. She was in her red bikini, sarong tied low around her hips. He’d never seen a woman as beautiful.
Hendrix gave a low whistle. “She’s hot, no denying it. Wish I had gone with her. One thing for sure, I wouldn’t have come home alone, with a temper like a constipated rhino.”
“Don’t,” warned Jake. He was in no mood for jokes.
“Nice lean-to.” His brother waved his slice of pizza at the screen. “Bet it was cozy in there, just the two of you.”
Jake forced his gaze off Carin to the structure they were building. He flexed his hands, remembering how it had felt to build the shelter. Far more fun than anything he was likely to do for the next two years. And if he’d had better materials, he could have built something really special. A tiny home containing everything he and Carin could need. Small but perfectly formed, with the craftsmanship and care his subdivision would lack. Beautiful, affordable, ecologically sound… now that could be a box that wasn’t soulless.
“Micro homes.” He muted the TV as the program cut to ads. “Houses built on a tiny footprint, that use space really cleverly. They appeal to people who want to live cheaply and sustainably. You know what I’m talking about?”
Hendrix blinked. “I’ve seen designs in magazines. They’re the hot new thing, aren’t they?”
“I haven’t heard of anyone doing them here. Have you?”
“You thinking we could build them?”
“I’d like to have a go at designing them. Figuring out ways to get the most out of a small space is the type of challenge I’d enjoy.”
His brother dropped his half-eaten slice of pizza onto his plate. “Attic bedrooms. Skylights and tall windows to make small spaces look bigger. Kitchens that have benches which can pack away like origami.”
Jake sat forward, pushing the subdivision plans off the coffee table and reaching for a pen. He turned one of the official building consent pages over so he could draw on the back. “Efficient to heat and cool. Hell, if we designed them right, they could be off the grid completely. And instead of a balcony, how about a rooftop garden?”
“I like that.”
Jake finished one sketch and started another. “We could go the whole hog. Recycled materials. Toxin free. Solar panels for power. Water tanks and composting toilets.”
“Composting toilets?” Hendrix raised his eyebrows. “Perhaps an optional extra?”
“We’ll have to look into it.”
“Into a composting toilet?”
Jake dragged his attention from his drawing so he could frown at his brother. “Into micro houses. Make sure nobody’s doing it here yet, or if they are, that we can’t do it better. Then we’ll check out demand. Maybe place a few ads, see what kind of response we get. It’s not a done deal yet, but if it looks good, this is what we should do next.”
“After your miner’s houses.”
Jake dragged in his breath. “Yeah. After that.” The two years he’d committed to that project felt like it would last two decades.
“Show’s back on.” Hendrix grabbed the remote control and turned up the sound.
On the TV, Jake was sitting next to Carin on a log by the fire. She leaned in, grabbed his face and kissed him. Watching it now felt like being sucker punched in the gut. All the air left his body and he could only stare at the screen, remembering how incredible it had felt to claim her mouth. God, the way she’d kissed, leaning into him with her whole body. The memory made him ache for her. Made him want to forget all the reasons it could never work out between them, and do something stupid. Like showing up at her house to demand a do-over.
“You’re an idiot,” said Hendrix softly. “Why would you ever let a woman like that go?”
“It’s for the best. She’s going to LA to kick start her career.”
“Yeah, and if she got it in her head to fly to Mars, you’d be a fool not to book a trip on the next space shuttle.”
“I’m not following her to LA.” Jake clenched his jaw, pushing his barely-touched plate of pizza to the other side of the large coffee table. “I’d only keep hurting her, like Dad used to do to our mother. I can’t believe we let him treat her that way. And that even after all he did, we still looked up to him. Why didn’t we say something?”
“Because we were too y
oung to know better.” Hendrix picked his pizza back up, took another bite, and spoke around it while he chewed. “Besides, what’s that got to do with you and Carin? You’re not like Dad, and you wouldn’t cheat on her.”
“Sure about that?”
Hendrix motioned at the TV, then grabbed the remote with the hand not holding his pizza. “Take a look.”
The screen showed Carin in her red bikini, laughing at something Treadmill was saying. Then the camera moved away and Hendrix paused the picture.
“Pop quiz,” said Hendrix. “The woman who was talking to Carin. What was she wearing?”
“What was she wearing?” Jake frowned, trying to remember.
“T-shirt, bikini, kaftan?”
“Not a kaftan. Either a T-shirt or a bikini. Why?”
Hendrix shot Jake a triumphant look. “See? You didn’t notice because Carin was in the shot and all your attention was focused on her. How can you be worried you might cheat on her? It’s impossible. And if you ever do think about cheating, all you need to do is tell me and I’ll knock some sense into your thick skull. That’s if Carin hasn’t done it first.” He grinned. “She’s not exactly the type to sit around crying like Mom did, is she?”
Jake considered Hendrix’s words. His brother was making a lot of sense, but was that only because Jake wanted to convince himself that he and Carin could be together?
“She’s had two panic attacks because of me,” he said after a minute.
“So?”
“So I’ve screwed her life up enough. She’s better off without me.”
“Yeah? How nice for her that you know what she needs and what’s best for her. Save her having to make any of those decisions on her own, right? Because the last thing she’d want is to be treated like a grown woman who knows her own mind.”
Jake let out a long breath. Problem was that Jake lived in the real world, not a fantasy one where they could ignore all their problems and pretend everything was rosy. Even if Carin were willing to give him another chance, he still had to go away for two years to save their company. He couldn’t move to LA without sacrificing the business and letting down his father. Not to mention the fifty-or-so employees who depended on him.
“There’s no way to make it work.” His tone was harsh as he fought a surge of irrational anger against his brother for tempting him with false hope. “You should concentrate on checking out this micro homes idea. I’ll focus on making sure Dad’s legacy doesn’t get flushed down a composting toilet.”
With a disgusted snort, Hendrix unpaused the TV show. “Composting toilets don’t flush. That’s the whole point of them.”
On the screen, the cameraman zoomed in to capture Carin’s radiant smile. She was so heartbreakingly beautiful, it was impossible to pull his gaze away. The camera loved her and she’d be a big star for sure. Jake was glad for her, but at the same time his gut was clenching. Once she left for LA, he might never see her again.
“Turn that off,” he said to Hendrix. To his relief, his voice came out perfectly calm. And he knew his face would be emotionless. Long practice was serving him well.
Or was it? Hiding his feelings from Carin had been a terrible idea. If he’d been honest from the start and admitted how he felt, his whole life might have been different.
“I see you’ve still got that mask you like to wear,” remarked Hendrix. “Pity. I’d hoped Carin could convince you to get rid of it for good.”
“Turn the TV off,” said Jake again, surging to his feet. He felt on edge and keyed up. Like there was something urgent he had to do right away, but couldn’t. An unbearable feeling.
He needed to fix this.
But how?
He had a plane to catch. A job to do. A company to save.
Besides, he’d messed everything up too badly to fix it.
Hadn’t he?
29
Carin had put the plate down and was already turning away when the customer spoke.
“What the hell is this?” the man growled.
She turned back, startled out of her stupor. Since getting back from Lantana, she’d been existing in a weird dream. Not in a good way. The knowledge of what she’d lost worried constantly at her brain. She missed Jake so much, she could barely concentrate on anything.
Not great for her customers in the coffee shop.
As she focused on the man at the table, her heart sank. It was him. The one who’d given her the note that had sent her to Lantana in the first place. Give Up, You Suck. At least the words didn’t hurt so badly anymore. Caring what a complete stranger thought of her was the least of her worries.
“An egg sandwich,” she said. Then she frowned. “Did you order a chicken one?”
His cheeks reddened. “Damn right I—”
“Have you got a sick kid upstairs?” she interrupted. Maybe his anger was a kind of frustration? She could understand if it was. She’d run the gamut of emotions since she’d been back. Rage, despair, sorrow. And now she’d settled into a flat, emotionless stupor that was worse than any of them.
The man stared at her a moment, breathing hard. “My niece,” he finally admitted. “Leukemia.”
“I’m sorry. What’s her name?”
“Rowena.”
“Oh, I know her. She’s a delight, isn’t she? Always dressing up as Elsa and singing that song from Frozen. Have you been up to see her already? Is she wearing her blonde wig today?”
“She is.” The anger was seeping out of him like a punctured balloon, and what she saw underneath made Carin’s heart ache.
She forced a smile to cover her rush of pity. “You know what Rowena told me the other day? She said she wants to be a doctor when she grows up, because then she’ll get to fix people up and make them well again.” She dropped her hand on the man’s shoulder and squeezed. “I believe they can make her well, and Rowena does too. She’s strong and she’s got the spirit of a fighter. If anyone can get through this, it’s her.”
His eyes brimmed with tears and he turned his face away.
She took hold of his plate to whisk it away. “Sorry for the mix up. I’ll bring you the right sandwich—”
“No.” He grabbed the plate, tugging it from her grip. “The sandwich is fine.” His voice was gruff. “Leave it.” As she walked back to the counter, she thought she heard him mutter something that could have been, “Thanks.”
But the encounter had started her stomach churning again. Today she was going to have to tell the kids she was leaving for LA. The thought made her throat close up. She was going to miss them more than she could bear. Some days in the cafe, the knowledge that after her shift she’d get to dress up and tell the kids stories was all that kept her going.
Usually she went into the hospital’s elevator with a grin on her face, her bag of costumes tucked under her arm and her excitement building. Today it seemed like her heart was too heavy to carry.
She forced herself to smile at the nurses who greeted her warmly, though it was the last thing she felt like doing. Still, she couldn’t be sad around the kids. As she pulled on a queen costume, she made herself shake off her melancholy. She wasn’t Carin any longer, but the Queen of Tulasia, a mythical land full of terrible dragons, magical princesses, and dashing knights.
Jacquie’s face lit up as soon as she saw her. “We’re going to Tulasia?” The little girl had heard Carin’s stories so many times, she could tell them herself.
Carin gave a low, sweeping curtsey. “Princess Jacquie,” she said gravely. “I bring grave news from a faraway kingdom. The evil Duke of Dastardly has sent dragons to attack us, and all the princes and princesses must gather in the castle and prepare to fight back.”
She nodded hello to Jacquie’s mom, then handed out costumes to all the kids. Dresses, jackets, and cardboard swords for those who were more mobile. Crowns, hats, and wigs for those who were bed-ridden or had IVs. A tiara for Rowena to wear on top of her Elsa wig.
Then the nurses and Jacquie’s mom helped her gather the kid
s into a rough circle, moving beds where she could, and helping some kids to sit on the big, colorful rug in the middle of the room.
When they were ready, Carin asked, “Where is the Prince of Tulasia?”
Hands shot up, and she picked out a shy boy who didn’t have an IV so would be able to perform the simple actions the part required. The boy beamed with delight, but the boy next to him, one who must have been in the ward for the first time, looked crestfallen. She curtseyed to him. “Greetings Earl. Did you drop your dagger?”
Handing over the plastic dagger was like plugging the pale boy into an electric socket that zapped him with energy and put color into his cheeks.
“Cool!” he exclaimed. “Do I get to stab a dragon?”
“It’ll take many brave acts to save us from certain death.”
When everyone had a royal title and a part to play, she dimmed the lights and handed out the glow sticks that would help create the right atmosphere to hold the kids spellbound. Then she lowered her voice. “Today’s story is about a brave group of royals who have gathered to fight the evil Duke of Dastardly.” She pointed at the little girl she’d given a jeweled scepter to. “Give us your best defiant laugh in the face of unspeakable danger please, Countess Gemma.”
The girl cackled loudly and all the kids grinned. They were squirming with excitement, and the look on their faces was the best sight in the world. How could she tell them she was leaving? No, she wouldn’t think about that right now. She was Queen of Tulasia, and her only care in the world was fighting the Evil Duke of Dastardly.
When she was almost at the end of the story, she loved to linger over the moment when all seemed lost for the brave cast of heroes. Dragons had circled the castle, trapping the heroes and heroines inside. “Is that the end?” she asked them, her voice trembling with mock horror. “Will we all perish horribly at the hands of the Duke?”
One of the girls spoke up, lisping her words while her crown fell over her eyes. “No. We won’t.”
Carin widened her eyes, acting surprised. “How can we get away? Dragon fire is licking the castle’s stones, heating them up. It’s so hot, our shoes will catch alight any minute. Surely we must be doomed.”
The Engagement Game Page 19