by Russo, Jessa
“Oh, no. Do not call me that. You don’t even know me.” Rage filled me to the brim. Bile burned my throat. I felt like I had the worst case of acid reflux ever.
Frankie squeezed my hand.
Ted cocked his head, waiting for a brief moment before speaking again.
“Tobias. Ever. And, Franklin, is it? Please sit down. Give me a chance to explain things.” He looked behind us and motioned to Ariadne and Jessie. “Girls? Gregor? If you would also sit, please?”
“We’ll stand.” Ariadne’s voice was firm and angry. She came forward and settled on the other side of Toby. A spark of jealousy flared up and I squashed it down deep. She can stand next to Toby all she wants. I’m with Frankie.
“We’re waiting, Ted.” Toby sounded strong, but in truth, I wondered if he wasn’t feeling similar to how I was feeling. Lost and confused and completely rocked. I had a really, really bad feeling. I think I need to sit down for this, after all. Again not thinking, I grabbed Toby’s hand in my free hand, not stopping to notice the intense feeling of our skin connecting, and I pulled him and Frankie over to the couch to sit down. They sat on either side of me, and I couldn’t help but feel a bit strange sandwiched between the two of them.
Ariadne, Greg and Jessie came to stand behind us. I felt like it was us against them. My mom and Ted: a pairing I would have said was impossible just mere minutes ago. The six of us grouped together against them was equally odd. Well, Ariadne’s inclusion in that group of six was the most peculiar part.
Who was I kidding? This was all peculiar.
“Well then, kids, where to start…” Ted extended his arm, indicating for my mom to sit back down on the loveseat. Once she’d settled, he sat down next to her, and I was again shocked by the close proximity and obvious ease between the two of them.
“I fell in love with your mother over twenty years ago, Ever. But please don’t get the wrong idea about me. Or your mother. Your father was not a part of her life yet.” He watched her while he spoke, a broad smile on his face. “We had an amazing year together. We were young, and happy, and carefree. Much like the two of you are.” He motioned to Toby and me.
“Were,” I corrected him quickly. “I’m not with Toby.”
“Indeed,” he responded with a slight nod of his head. “You must forgive my forgetfulness.”
Frankie placed his hand on my leg, his need to stake his claim surfacing again. I didn’t blame him. This must have been a very awkward moment for him as well—sitting next to me as I was sandwiched between the two of them.
I placed my hand on top of Frankie’s, squeezing his fingers—my silent way of reassuring him, or so I hoped. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Toby flinch.
Ted’s eyes widened slightly, the silent exchange between the three of us not going unnoticed. After a brief second, he continued, “We were careless, and our love resulted in the very best way love can. A pregnancy.”
“What?” I shot off the couch before realizing I’d even moved. Frankie stood with me, his arms steadying me. Or keeping me from attacking Ted. I’m not sure which.
Holy shit! Is Ted my dad?
Oh my God, no. Please no.
“Ever, honey, please listen. Daddy knew all of this, baby. I never betrayed him.”
My heart raced, and sweat beaded across my forehead. My breathing was shallow. All I could hear was the rapid beating of my heart pounding in my ears. I looked at Ted, my eyes searching his face for some clue of our relationship, some similarity between the two of us. I couldn’t see it.
“Is Ted my…are you my…?” I couldn’t even finish the question.
“Oh, no, honey. Ted’s not your father. Daddy was your daddy.”
Well, duh, I guess. The age wouldn’t even match up. I wasn’t thinking clearly. But wait. If Ted wasn’t my father, then—
Estelle.
No way.
I looked to Toby for some sort of clarification, but his eyes were as wide as I imagine mine were. This was all apparently news to him as well, and I wondered if for a moment he’d thought Ted was my real dad, too. I sat back down next to him, and Frankie followed my lead. Pulling my chin toward him, Frankie wiped the sweat from my forehead gently. He put his face right in front of mine, blocking Ted and my mom from my sight, so that all I could see were his rich, chocolate eyes.
“We’ll get through this, Doll.” Easy for him to say. He whispered the next words, “He’s not your dad, Ever.”
He kissed me lightly on the lips, then again on my forehead before leaning back against the couch to face my mom and Ted. I looked back to them as well, bracing myself for more of their disturbing revelations. I nodded for Ted to continue.
“I knew your father; he and I were very close. When your mother became pregnant, I turned to him for support, for guidance. I could not stay with her… I was never supposed to be able to father a child.”
Able. Was Ted not able to father a child because he was a soul collector all those years ago? Was it a soul collector thing? Was my mom aware of this? Was my dad?
Is Toby?
Can Ariadne have kids?
I glanced back at her standing behind us, surprised to see how pale her face was. Like, sickeningly, almost-green, pale. She watched Ted, her cat-like eyes—almost the same color of her pallid skin—wide and unmoving. She seemed more upset by this story than I was. Weird.
I turned back around and looked at my mom. She’d been pregnant before she had me. I knew this. I had a sister, Estelle. I knew this as well. I also knew Estelle was my dad’s daughter, too, so—
Wait. Was that all a lie? My stomach twisted and my mouth watered, as the possibilities flew through my mind. I swallowed hard—it was not a good time to run to the bathroom. I had to hear the rest of the story.
I looked to Frankie, who squeezed my hand reassuringly, then to Toby, whose sapphire eyes searched mine, trying to assess how I was feeling. Strength bubbled up from within. I’d been through so much—from Frankie’s death and recent resurrection, to my dad’s death, my break-up with Toby…my kidnapping in Mexico. I could get through whatever was coming my way next.
Frankie cleared his throat, and I looked back up at him as he spoke.
“Go on,” he said to Ted, his voice steady and strong. “But don’t upset her more than you already have.”
“I can’t help what I’m going to tell her. It will most likely upset her, but it is her history, and it is the truth. I see the way the two of you care for Ever. I assume you know she deserves the truth, so don’t try to protect her from it now.”
“I don’t know what the truth means for her,” said Toby, an edge to his voice.
“I’m okay,” I whispered. “I can handle it.” Can I? I guess we’d find out soon enough.
I looked at Toby, his eyes concerned and worried. Then at Frankie, his eyes showing the same feelings. Both of them loved me. Both of them would help me get through this, whatever it was. At that moment, I knew that regardless of the craziness and the drama, or the revelation I still hadn’t heard all of, I was lucky to have these two men by my side.
The two men I loved.
Shit. Where did that thought come from? I love Frankie. Only Frankie.
I took a deep, soothing breath, squared my shoulders, looked Ted straight in the eyes, and waited for what would come next.
“I never intended to father a child. Not that I wouldn’t have wanted to with Annabelle”—he looked over at her and smiled sadly—“I was so enraptured by her. When we were together, I forgot everything else. I think you can understand my feelings, Tobias.”
Toby sighed beside me. “I can.”
Frankie’s hand tightened around my fingers.
“I had to leave. It broke your mother’s heart. She felt lost and scared; abandoned. She didn’t understand. She hated me for leaving. Though, not nearly as much as I hated myself”—he turned and spoke directly to my mom—“It was the first time in my existence that I hated who I was. What I was. I wanted to forsake it all. J
ust to be with you. To raise our child…and I almost did forsake it all.”
I felt my breathing pick up. Our child, he’d said. Estelle. It had to be Estelle. My chest was tight, and my vision started to blur a little.
“Ever, honey? We can take a break—”
I gritted my teeth. “No, Mom. I’m fine.”
I’m not fine. I am nowhere near fine. But I had to hear the rest.
Ted looked at me with a funny expression on his face; his eyes narrowed just a bit, gauging my level of distress. As if he gave a shit. Then he looked at Toby, who gave a curt nod to continue. I was half-tempted to tell him not to speak for me, but I held back.
“Your father stepped in. At first, he was just going to be your mother’s friend, her confidant. He was going to watch out for her, protect her. Protect our daughter.”
Daughter. A little click sounded through my head like a deadbolt on a door. A door to the past that was unlocking at this very moment. My sister. I’d been right.
Both Toby and Frankie shifted in their seats to look at me. They both knew of Estelle, and I could tell their thoughts were mimicking my own as we all put the pieces together.
“Estelle.” I finally whispered, needing to get the word out into the open.
Behind me, Ariadne squeaked, the first sound she’d made since this story began. I turned my attention to her. She was as white as a ghost, even paler than before. All color had drained from her face. Not even puke-green remained. I tapped Toby’s leg and he followed my gaze, turning his head to look at her.
“Ari?”
Ariadne’s eyes were wide, her mouth slightly agape. Ted didn’t give me any time to ponder this strange moment with Ariadne. He kept right on talking as if my world hadn’t just been completely rocked, and as if something wasn’t completely wrong with Ariadne.
“But, as you know, Ever, your mother and father fell in love. At first I was angry. I hated him for loving her. I hated him for the freedom to love her, the freedom to love my daughter. I hated that he was with them when I wanted to be. But I had to get past it, had to accept that it was for the best. I wanted your mother to be happy, you see, and George was perfect for her. He made her so happy, and he loved our daughter as though she was his own. I checked in on them from time to time—”
“What?” My mom’s voice was equal parts shocked and saddened.
“Yes, Annabelle. I never left you completely. I couldn’t. And George kept in touch with me over the years.”
“I… I never knew.” She cried quietly now, her slender artist’s fingers shaking slightly as she wiped tears off her cheeks.
“You weren’t supposed to know.” He dabbed her tears gently, reminding me of the tender way my dad used to care for her. My stomach coiled again.
“Would you have ever been truly happy with George if you knew I still loved you? If you knew I was always just a phone call away? Would you have allowed yourself to fully love him so much, so completely?”
My mom just cried harder in response, shaking her head. My heart ached for her, and my anger slowly began to melt away. But only slightly.
“You would have never had Eleanor,” he whispered, taking her hands in his.
After a few moments, my mom straightened up, pulling herself together, and I did the same.
“When our daughter was young, I craved to be with her, to be her father. I wanted so badly to come back, to be with my family.” He paused, looking off into the distance again as the memories came forth into his mind. “Eventually, word got around. Others found out about her, about what I’d done. We had to protect her. We had to keep our daughter safe. So George and I developed a plan. A plan that left George and Annabelle Van Ruysdael heartbroken and mourning the loss of their beloved daughter, sending that very daughter into hiding with her biological father. A plan that—”
“Daddy?” Ariadne’s voice—timid, and scared, and…holy shit. Daddy. As if I hadn’t known all along that Ariadne was Ted’s daughter, the word rocked me to my core, slamming the puzzle together in one loud blow within my mind. Whether from reluctance or sheer ignorance, I hadn’t put the pieces together yet.
“What did you just say?” My mom was rigid, her back stick straight and her eyes wide and wild. She stared at Ariadne as if she’d just watched her climb out of a spaceship from Mars, green antennae and all. I looked between the two women and heard one last thing before the blackness crept into my vision and shut me away from the world, deep into the safe confines of my own mind.
“Yes, Annabelle. Our daughter is alive.”
The intense pounding in my brain indicated I’d passed out.
Familiar faces hovered above me as my vision focused. Toby, Frankie, Jessie, and finally…
Staring up into Ariadne’s eyes, I saw the connection, the similarities between us. The shocking revelation hit me like a ton of bricks. Or a freight train. Or the worst possible news ever. I felt like someone had just punched me in the gut, and I worried I’d pass out again. This had to be a terrible cosmic joke. I wanted to pass out again.
This monster cannot be my sister.
There was just no way. No way. It wasn’t only that I despised her, it was that she was completely terrible! I couldn’t imagine she had any redeeming qualities whatsoever. And there was no way we were cut from the same cloth, even if only by half.
On that note, I refused to accept that she was anything like my mother. My artsy, beautiful, fun-loving mother, who wouldn’t harm a fly or raise her voice, no matter how angry she became.
And yet, the proof stared back at me, her yellow eyes narrowed and scrutinizing, and very obviously my mother’s eyes. No no no no no.
My only relief was the fact that Ariadne was apparently as floored by this news as I was.
“Oh hell no,” she growled. “I don’t believe this.”
The color had returned to her face, which was now crimson.
I lay on the couch, my head in Frankie’s lap as he wiped my forehead with a cool washcloth. Toby sat near me on the floor, eyes wide, and his head moving back and forth as he glanced between Ariadne, myself, my mom and Ted.
“There is no way I am related to her.” Her lip curled up with the disgust I felt.
“Ha. You should be so lucky. Imagine how I feel.”
Only after her mouth snapped shut did I realize I’d said the words out loud. Whoops. I looked at Toby, then up at Frankie, whose eyes were wide like Toby’s. They were both clearly shocked and confused as well. So I wasn’t alone. I wondered briefly where Jessie and Greg were. I looked back at Ariadne, meeting her icy, hate-filled gaze with one that I hoped was even more icy and hate-filled.
“Look, girls,” Ted said, trying to sound authoritative. “I’m sorry to drop this information on you like this, and I assure you it wasn’t my intention, but—”
“Estelle?” My mom’s timid, unbelieving voice drew my attention away from Ariadne’s eyes. The same color and shape as my mom’s. How did I not see it before?
I did. I did see it before. And I totally ignored it.
I’m an idiot.
Ariadne’s yellow-green eyes softened slightly at the sound of my mom’s voice. I watched, dumbstruck, as she inhaled a deep breath and turned to face my approaching mother. Our approaching mother. Oh my God. I was half-tempted to jump between them and throw a fit. This was my mom. I didn’t want to share her! But I’m not a toddler, and I couldn’t do that. Could I?
No. And even if I could, I was too woozy to stand up. Instead, I continued to lay with my head in Frankie’s lap and watch with growing horror as my mom reconnected with her long lost daughter. My half-sister.
The devil spawn that is Ariadne.
What kind of effed up cosmic joke is this?
Another thought crossed my mind—an unwarranted thought. Toby. He’d dated both of us. Like, a sister sandwich. But not.
But eeew. I glanced over at him again. He watched Ariadne. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but the slight curl of his lip indicated he wa
sn’t pleased by any of this news either, and had obviously been completely in the dark as well.
My mom walked slowly toward Ariadne, arms out as though she wanted to hug her. She stopped inches away from doing so and I have to admit, I was relieved.
“My name isn’t Estelle,” Ariadne said, shaking her head slowly. I had to give her credit; she was really gentle with my mom, so even if Ariadne was the nastiest bitch alive, she was at least decent enough to see how this could affect my mom. She looked to Ted. “Dad?”
“I had to change your name, Ari. To protect you. To protect our secret.”
Simultaneously my mom’s eyes filled with hope, glistening with the possibility, while Ariadne’s muscles tightened. I saw her back stiffen as she braced herself for what she knew she was about to hear. “Your birth name was Estelle Rosella,” Ted continued. “And this is your mother.”
My mom sobbed, falling to the ground by the weight of the confirmation. The daughter she’d thought was dead all these years stood before her. She was clearly relieved and elated…and I was filled to the brim with jealousy. It was a disgusting feeling to have, but I had it—appropriate or not.
I looked up at Frankie. My eyes filled with tears beyond my control, and he knew what I needed before I even spoke. He nodded his head once and looked at Toby, a silent agreement passing between them. They both stood, then Toby quickly scooted out of the way to allow Frankie room to scoop me up in his arms. I felt silly and small, being carried like a baby, but I was too confused from the information overload, and still slightly weak from passing out to bother arguing or asserting myself. My mission to not be the damsel in distress set aside, I let Frankie carry me to my bedroom.
Jessie followed right behind us. So did Toby and Greg. But Jessie didn’t let them into my room. She closed the bedroom door in Toby’s face and leaned against it, squeezing the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb.
“Holy shit, Ev.”
Yeah. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Except, I couldn’t actually say anything right now because I was crying so hard. My world had just been rocked to its core. Again. When would the hits stop coming?