by Russo, Jessa
I frowned but didn’t argue. As much as I wanted to continue kissing him forever, I did need some sleep, and I also needed him to get into the shower so I could try to contact Samuel.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower…am I still couch-bound?”
“No,” I said, unable to hide my smile.
“Good. Trey snores like a mother.”
How does one call a Seeker? Did I need to whistle? Say his name three times, then spin around? Maybe I should have been standing in front of the mirror, instead of out on the dock, looking up at the starry midnight sky, but I remembered Cora saying Samuel couldn’t find me inside, so out here on the lawn was the most logical place I could come up—
“What can I do for you?”
I jumped when he spoke in that gravelly voice behind me, suddenly existing where he hadn’t existed just moments ago. I turned around, slightly uneasy when I realized he stood between me and the house.
“How did you know I wanted to see you?”
He pointed a long, spindly finger toward my chest. “You call to me.”
“Why you?”
“Not sure.”
“Why not all the other Seekers, and the collectors who want to—” I cut myself off, not wanting to give him more information than he had already. I had no idea how much he knew, or how much anyone knew about my Soul Brand, and what it could do for the collector who claimed it.
“Not sure.”
“Hmm.”
“What can I do for you?” His indistinct form faded in and out, as if the light breeze off the water ruffled his very being.
“I want to make a deal.”
“You’ve mentioned that, but you have nothing I want. Had I desired your soul, young lady, I would have taken it days ago.”
“I know you don’t want my soul. But I have something you do want.”
“Proceed.”
I took one step toward him. “Life.”
It was hard to tell, but I think he tilted his head. “Go on.”
“I want to know how to keep my soul protected without dying, or letting anyone else die. I need to… I need everyone else to think the brand is gone; that I’m dead.”
The Seeker waited quietly for me to explain further.
“I think… I think I need to choose who I give my soul to.”
“Mhmm,” he murmured, then waved his hand for me to continue.
“And, if that’s right, if I’m right about how to protect myself and my friends, then once I give my soul to that person, they will give you the life you crave.”
I braced myself for his reaction—I’d been shooting in the dark here and hoped I was right, or at least close enough to right to spark his interest. If he laughed at me, I didn’t know what I would do next. I was out of ideas.
“How can you guarantee they will do what you say?”
“Because I know this person? He’ll do it.”
“You sound unsure.” The Seeker floated closer to me, his black eyes narrowed. “I’ll give you one better. Once you’ve transferred to him—assuming we’re speaking of the same boy—he will no longer be himself—”
“What?” That wasn’t what I’d been hoping to hear.
Samuel the Seeker raised his finger. “He will no longer be just himself. For he will be you as well. Both souls will reside in one body.”
I tilted my head, considering my options. I didn’t have many, and I knew I didn’t have much time. Toby would be out of the shower any minute.
“If I transfer my soul to him willingly, can he…ingest it for its power?”
Oh God, I sound like such a lunatic.
“Only if he chooses to do so. Willingly. Do you trust him not to choose the path of the reaper?”
“Yes.”
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”
“And he’ll be able to protect me? They won’t be after me anymore?”
The Seeker gave a curt nod, which looked more like a spasm in his translucent glow, and I wondered if he was telling me everything. The bit about the fine print nagged at me, but I really didn’t have much time and I was out of options. The only reason the collectors hadn’t found me yet was pure luck, and our lack of staying in one place, but the longer we stayed here, I imagined that luck would change.
“And this isn’t like a regular collection, right? I won’t be sent to the crossroads or whatever?”
“Oh, heavens no, Eleanor. Collectors don’t ingest the essence of every soul they guide home.”
“Okay, well…”—how the hell was I supposed to know that?—“how will he give it back to me? Return my soul to my body, I mean?”
“What do you offer me in return?”
“What? I already told you. Your life.”
“Indeed. You will promise my life returned to me, for the knowledge of how to transfer a branded soul from your body to his. What do you offer me in exchange for the knowledge of how to return the soul to its original host?”
“Um.”
I heard the glass door slide open back at the house, followed by Toby calling my name.
“Quickly, child. I suspect you don’t want him privy to your plan.”
My pulse accelerated, but I didn’t have a choice. I had no idea when I might be alone again to call the Seeker back and even less of an idea of when something could go terribly wrong with my plan or a greedy collector could show up looking to eat me for a promotion to reaper status.
“Fine. I’ll worry about reversing this later. Tell me how to do the transfer.”
The ghost’s eyes blurred briefly, then those black pits zeroed in on me once more as he bent at the waist in an unnatural angle, bringing his face close to my ear. He whispered his secrets with breath that was ice cold, caressing my cheek with bitter wind…or maybe that was him I felt. I didn’t know. But the chill seeped into my skin, chilling me to the bone.
“Ever?” Toby had made it halfway across the lawn and was almost to the dock. “What are you doing out here alone, babe? I thought you’d be passed out in bed by now.”
I snapped my head to the side, but though the icy feeling lingered, the Seeker was gone.
And I had everything I needed.
Now to find the courage to act.
“Hey.” I looked back to Toby as he walked out onto the dock. My voice shook, so I tried to take a deep breath without him noticing.
“Hey yourself. Aren’t you tired?”
“I can sleep when I’m dead.”
“Ever.” His eyes narrowed. “That’s far from funny.”
“Sorry.” I looked around, spotting a large pontoon boat at the end of the private dock. Perfect. “Take me out?”
“What?”
“On the boat.” I shrugged. “You said you wished we were here on vacation so you could take me boating, right? So, take me now.”
“Now?”
“Yes, Toby, now. Why not? We’re young, right? Let’s live a little.”
His brows knitted together, and his sapphire eyes bore into mine.
I stood on my tiptoes and placed my hands on either side of his face, then kissed him briefly. “A girl’s trying to get you to take her out on the lake in the middle of the night, alone, and you’re hesitating. Do you realize that?”
Toby swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple catching my eye when it bobbed in his throat. My nerves pounded away at my insides, but I’d made my decision. This would happen, and it would happen tonight. No delays.
I kissed him again, harder this time, pressing the length of my body against his. My scheme worked, and Toby wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me tighter against him and tilting his head to get a better angle to kiss me. His tongue twined with mine, hungrily, forcefully, and I considered doing it right then, but decided against it. I’d make the transfer on the boat, so no one was around to catch us and stop me.
I pulled back, looking up into Toby’s eyes, my eyebrows raised.
“I’ll go get the keys.”
He bent to kiss me quickly o
nce more, then patted my butt and turned around, running toward the house faster than I’d ever seen him move.
I stood between Toby’s knees, his arms around me and his hands on the wheel in front of us. I leaned back into him, extending my neck so he could run his lips down the length of it. The night air blew against us, freezing the front of me as Toby’s hard body warmed me from behind.
Disappointment surged in me, tangling with the pleasure I felt in this moment alone with Toby. After I did this, I wouldn’t be able to feel him again for a long time. If ever, my subconscious nagged, the finality of my chosen path still very much up in the air, as was the fine print I still never cracked.
“So, little miss midnight boating adventure, what do you want to do?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing, Skipper,” I said, mustering every ounce of courage I could find. I didn’t want to be the girl that needed saving anymore, so I may as well hurry up and find some goddamned brass balls. “You have me all the way out here, Tobias James. What are you going to do with me?”
My cheeks flushed on cue as the words left my mouth, and I prayed he couldn’t see the touch of crimson in the darkness.
“God I love when you blush.”
Wrong.
Slowing the pontoon to a stop, he turned the ignition off, then stood and pulled me to one of the long seats in the front.
“Well,” Toby began, guiding me to sit down. “I think I’m going to make up for all the time we lost.” He paused, kneeling between my legs, then ran his fingertips over my bare shoulders. “I’m going to kiss you for every moment I wished my lips were on your lips.” He leaned forward, kissing first one shoulder, then the other. “I’m going to touch you for every memory of lying awake at night, wishing you were mine.”
I sucked in a breath as his hands wrapped around my waist, sliding my tank top up to expose my stomach. He leaned in, kissing me in my least favorite spot, then drew me to him when I tried to pull away and kissed my belly again.
“I’m going to be with you tonight, Ever, because frankly”—he paused, running the tip of his pointer finger along the scoop neck of my shirt—“frankly, I’ve wanted nothing more than to be with you since the very first day I saw you watching me from your living room window…your hair a mess and food pushed into your perfect cheek.”
I blushed again, painfully embarrassed, but he didn’t notice. His eyes focused on my neck. He ran a hand up my throat, gently nudging my head back.
“I’m going to make up for every mistake I made, every doubt I caused you, and every ounce of pain. Because I want you to leave this boat knowing that no matter what happens from here on out, I love you. And it is with complete confidence that I can say I have never loved anyone the way I love you.”
My eyes fluttered closed as his teeth grazed my throat, then his hands slid down my sides, pushing my pajama pants down and exposing my near-naked body. Somehow, before I realized it, I was flat on my back, stretched out along the chair of the pontoon, and Toby stretched out above me. I looked up into his dark eyes, feeling full and empty all at once. He truly loved me—a passionate love that was as powerful for him as it was for me.
But after tonight, I’d be lucky if he didn’t hate me.
He ran his finger along my waist, then leaned down to kiss my stomach, leaving a trail of kisses from my bellybutton to my right hip.
He looked me over, his dark gaze raking my body, and butterflies kicked up in my belly once more, though this time, they were more for insecurities and excitement than for the trepidation of what my decision meant for me. As he lowered himself on top of me, he held my gaze, never breaking eye contact, giving me the feeling that he could see straight into my very soul. I was thankful he couldn’t…he’d never let me get away with what I was about to do. I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, then pulled his face to mine, but he paused, just inches from my lips.
“Say it.”
“What?”
“Say it, Ever,” he murmured as he brushed a feather-soft kiss against my lips. “Tell me you love me.”
“I do.”
“Then say it.”
I lifted my head to kiss him, but he pulled back, a smile pulling at one side of his lips. He shook his head.
“I love you, Tobias James. I’ve loved you since that fateful day you jumped down from that moving truck and stole my heart.”
His smile grew, and he licked his lips. “I knew it.”
“I never stood a chance.”
“Nope.”
His lips crashed into mine, and the full weight of his body pressed into me, trapping me between him and the damp vinyl seat of the boat. His kiss—as urgent and powerful as it was—ended far too soon as he slid his head to the side to pull my earlobe into his mouth.
I gasped as he ran his teeth along my throat again, his tongue darting out to taste my skin along the way, and his lips occasionally closing around my skin, sucking gently. I arched my back when his mouth traveled over my chest, pressing up into him when his hand curved around my breast. I opened my eyes, gazing at the sliver of moon in the sky above me and praying that my plan would work.
I fought to focus on this moment between us, when my heart pounded so loudly in my ears I wondered if he could hear it, and doubt trickled up my spine, trying to convince me I would fail. Questions assaulted my brain. Could I do this? Could I make the transfer? What would he do? How would he react?
What if the Seeker had lied to me? What if his fine print was worse than anything I could imagine?
Toby’s teeth grazed my hipbone, and I gasped, realizing he’d made his way down my body while I’d been sorting through the multitude of questions in my mind. My breath caught in my throat; Toby’s face was dangerously close to a place I’d only ever shared with Frankie. As heat warmed me, deep in my belly, and Toby trailed kisses lower and lower, I felt a surge of exhilaration.
And as that thrill ignited in my veins, all courage drained from my body.
What am I thinking? I couldn’t do this, couldn’t trick Toby in this way, couldn’t—
“Ah,” I said, both petrified and excited as he kissed the inside of my thigh, and his hands gripped my sides.
Stop this, my conscience warned. I wanted to. I really did. I wanted to stop this moment from happening, wanted to quit before I went through with something so dangerous, something I believed would work based on the word of one Seeker I still didn’t know if I could truly trust. I could stop my plan, or at least delay it, and allow myself to be with Toby tonight.
And as he crawled back up to eye level, his fingers grazing my body…moving from my thighs, up over my stomach, briefly caressing my chest, then up to my collar bone…a greedy, hungry part of me urged me forward. I wanted to be with Toby, and that part of me ignored the warnings, forgetting all about the plan, the real outcome of tonight, focusing instead on the raw, animal need I felt as he slid his hand behind my head and cupped the base of my neck, lowering himself over me once more. The weight of him pressed down upon me, and I could think of nothing past the desire to be with him.
I looked up into those deep blue eyes, then licked my lips and kissed him. His lips parted instantly, and I pressed my tongue inside his mouth, kissing him more forcefully than I ever had before. I pushed him gently, and we tumbled to the floor of the boat, landing softly on the pillows he’d apparently discarded earlier.
As I kissed him, harder than I’d ever kissed him before, I knew I had to make a decision fast. If I went all the way with Toby right now, there was no way I’d have the nerve to take this next step afterwards, and I didn’t know when I’d have the chance again. Anything could happen. I had to take the initiative, take things into my own hands.
Shit.
Toby whimpered a muffled sound against my mouth when I straddled him—half shocked and half pleased—and his hands gripped my sides tighter, holding me tight and threatening to never let me go again. I almost melted into him right then and there, almost gave up completely,
but I had to focus.
Before I lost my nerve, I ran my hands down his arms to his wrists, circling my fingers around them and moving his hands up to the side of his head.
I didn’t break our kiss, didn’t look to see if his eyes were wide, surprised by my sudden audacity. I just kissed him hungrily, and counted down from three.
Three…two…one…
Here goes…
Please don’t be mad at me.
Burning fire filled my torso—an intense hunger laced with trepidation and emptiness—slamming into me like a freight train. My body jerked, trying to fight it at first, but I held tight to Toby’s wrists and pressed my mouth down harder over his. The burning sensation moved upward, filling my chest with fire and ache, then inching its way up my throat.
Toby bucked beneath me, instantly realizing something was wrong, but I already knew that once the transfer had begun, only I would have the ability to break the connection.
And I wasn’t about to do that.
I used the weight of my body, combined with the added strength from the transfer, to hold Toby down and remain in control. He cried out in frustration, the sound filling my mouth, but it was too late. As that raging fire burned past my throat, I knew mere seconds remained.
The transfer was almost complete.
Then, as quickly as the pain appeared, it vanished. I collapsed on top of Toby, my body heavy and weightless all at once.
“Ever!”
I closed my eyes…or maybe they were already closed.
I didn’t really know.
I felt nothing.
“Ever!” I yelled, shaking her limp body again. “What did you do? Ever!”
I laid her flat on her back, then tilted her head and pinched her nose with my thumb and forefinger. My heart threatened to bust out of my ribcage. She wasn’t responding. I inhaled a deep breath, then leaned down and exhaled into her mouth. I pulled up, watched for signs of life, then did it again. In my panic, I suddenly realized I was supposed to press on her chest, get her lungs working. Dammit! I sat up, then pressed down onto her chest, repeating the action three times.