She dipped her head, hiding her eyes from me. I knew she probably thought it was too soon, but what she didn’t realize was that I’d spent every day of the past three years knowing in my gut that what I’d felt for her was love. Finally getting to say it to her was a blessing I’d never expected.
“And I do love you, baby.”
She closed her eyes, inhaling deeply, before gentle sobs racked her slim shoulders.
“Hey,” I said, pulling her into my arms. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. Please. I’m not upset that you can’t say it back. I know that you’ve been through hell with—”
“I love you too, Carter.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and climbed into my lap. “I love you so much, you have no idea. Hearing you say that…” She buried her face in my neck, soaking the collar of my T-shirt. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. I knew, deep down, all along, I knew this was the way it was supposed to feel.”
I curled my hand around her cheek, wiping away her tears. I didn’t say a word. I knew she wasn’t done. She needed to say more, to let it all out.
“Love isn’t supposed to be safe and comfortable.” She sniffled. “It’s supposed to be scary as hell, at least at first. It’s supposed to make your stomach clench when you think about losing that person. You’re supposed to care enough to yell and scream and throw things when you fight, if that’s what it takes.”
I smiled, thinking of some of the blowouts we’d had. We were both passionate people used to getting what we wanted, and sometimes we wanted different things. I didn’t mind fighting with her, as long as I knew we’d be making up. “I agree.”
“I was just going through the motions with him.” She looked up, her big brown eyes sparkling with tears. “I never, ever loved him like that. I’ve never loved anyone like that. Only you.”
I thrust my hand into her hair and my tongue into her mouth. Damn. I was done talking. I needed to consume this woman. Telling her I loved her, hearing that she felt the same way, had turned me inside out. My whole body was tingling with the energy and I needed a release.
“I want you.” I laid her back as I reached for the side zipper on her dress. I was kissing her neck as I told her, “I know we’re not done talking. But dammit, Jazzy, it’s been one hell of a day and I just need you now.”
“I need you too.” She hauled my T-shirt over my head. “I was so scared,” she whispered between heated kisses. “So scared I was going to lose you. I can’t lose you again.”
“You won’t.” I didn’t care what I had to say or do; this girl was mine, for keeps this time.
I stood, peeling off her dress. I’d watched her put on the pale pink bra and panties that morning, but they looked a hell of a lot hotter coming off. “You’re so sexy.” My hands trailed up her thighs, but before I could reach her mouth again, she was tugging on my shorts.
“Take these off. I want to feel you.”
I pulled them off and tossed them aside, then we were skin to skin. I cupped her tits, licking her nipples as she ran her fingers through my hair, arching her back. I wanted to taste every inch of her, but I was wrung so tight, I couldn’t trust myself not to blow if I waited any longer.
Slipping my hand between us, I asked, “You ready for me, baby?”
“Always.” She wrapped her legs around my waist, gasping when I slipped two fingers inside her. “I am always ready for you. I always want you.”
I loved hearing that, because no matter what else I had to do, making her feel good would always be at the top of my list.
She grabbed my wrist to halt my exploration. “Please. I need to feel you inside me. Now.” I withdrew my fingers and she guided my shaft to her opening, her eyes searching mine as she mouthed, “I love you.”
Fuck. Hearing those three little words on her lips damn near did me in. I’d waited so long to hear them, it felt like a dream. I inched inside her slowly, taking my time, enjoying every second as I felt her body stretch to accommodate me. She was so tight, it felt unreal, and I’d never been closer to embarrassing myself as I tried like hell to hold back, reminding myself to breathe through the intense pleasure. Her lips trailed up my neck, coasting over my jaw as her hands gripped my ass before her tongue flicked over my earlobe.
I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to remain still. “Jazzy, gimme a sec, baby. I need…” For you not to be so fucking hot.
Her laugh was seductive, as though she knew exactly what she was doing to me. “You know how much I love it when you lose control? When I get to see you snap? That look in your eye, complete surrender, like you can’t control your body’s reaction to me? That’s the best feeling in the world.”
She’d be seeing that real soon if she kept this up. Too soon. I prided myself on taking care of her first, always making her feel good, but this had been such an emotionally charged day. Being this close to her again, when I wasn’t sure I would be, brought all the fear and uncertainty I’d experienced back to the surface.
“I’m never going to lose you.” I kissed her hard and deep, groaning in her mouth when she clenched me even tighter. I was barely moving, yet containing myself felt like a Herculean effort.
She took the decision out of my hands as she rolled her hips, forcing my movements. It was slow and easy, but the depth of my penetration blew my mind. Then she tipped her hips up to take me deeper. I could tell the friction was getting her off when she dug her nails into me as she closed her eyes, her mouth falling open. I concentrated on that, on hitting just the right spot and guiding her to the same place she’d taken me.
“That’s it, baby.” I kissed her neck. That magic spot always made her whimper, as though I’d uncovered the secret to her orgasms. “Let go for me.” I was riding her harder now, more focused on her pleasure than mine. I hated the thought of leaving her for even one night, but I knew we’d have to get used to being apart. “Show me how much you want me. How much you’re going to miss me.”
“Carter… I… ahhhhhh…”
I watched with satisfaction as her beautiful face contorted before I felt the pulsations rock me. My lips were on hers before my release filled her, making her moan again. I emptied inside her, reveling in the feel of her milking me, hungry for all I had to give her.
She wrapped her arms around me, burying her face in my neck. “I was crazy to think I could live without you.”
I smiled, holding her head against me. We were still joined and I knew it wouldn’t be long before I was ready to go again. I’d be tired tomorrow and would hear it from my coach if I was dragging my ass, but I always gave a hundred percent to my team. From now on, she was going to get the same dedication I showed them.
“We should go to bed,” she said. “You have to get up early. So do I.”
“Um, I still have some of your stuff here if…” I was almost embarrassed to admit it, especially when her jaw dropped.
“You do?”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it or send it back to her. “It’s probably too casual for work, but at least you could shower and get ready here if you want to hang around after I leave.”
“You’d trust me all alone here?” she asked with a coy smile.
Without responding, I got up and went to a small box on a console table in the hall. I withdrew my spare key and crossed the room to hand it to her. “Here, I want you to have this. The access code is 2473. Come and go as you please. In fact, you’re welcome to stay here when I’m not here, if you want.”
Her building was nice, but mine had features hers didn’t, like an Olympic-sized pool, massive gym, and sauna.
She looked at the key then back at me. “You’re serious?”
“Yeah.” I’d love knowing she was here waiting for me when I got home from a road trip.
“Thank you,” she said, grinning. “I promise not to abuse the privilege.”
“Hey.” I set my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me. “I want you here, Jazzy. I want you to feel like…” I bit my lip, wonder
ing if it was too soon. “This is your home too.”
She got up and wrapped her arms around my neck as she stood on her tippy-toes. “I want to be here too. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. And I’ll give you a key to my place too, if you want?”
I brushed her hair out of her face, thinking this was another step we hadn’t taken in our relationship the last time. The exchange of keys may seem like a little thing, but it was a big deal to me and I hoped she felt the same way.
“I’d like that.” I kissed her, holding her thick hair back with my hands. “Now, we probably should get to bed. I want to finish that conversation we were having.” I didn’t want to leave anything unsaid between us. Not this time.
Chapter Nine
Jasmine
I was nervous about telling Carter my terms for our deal. We felt so close now, and the last thing I wanted was to do or say something that would drive a wedge between us. We were lying naked in his bed, facing each other, as his fingertip ran over the slope of my shoulder and down my arm, making me break out in thrill bumps.
“See the effect you have on me?” I whispered, watching his hand move over my body.
“Love that.” He sighed. “But we need to talk about business now, right?”
“Right.” I rolled onto my back, hoping I wouldn’t be so tempted to jump him if I wasn’t staring into those gorgeous eyes so filled with love and appreciation they took my breath away. No man had ever seemed so happy just to be with me, and thinking about how lucky I was to be getting this second chance with him made me all teary-eyed. “So I talked to my lawyer and he told me buying Alex out shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Good.”
“Yeah, but we need to structure this as a business loan, babe.” I threaded his fingers through mine as I tipped my head to steal a glance at him. “That’s the only way I can agree to this. You know how important that company is to me and part of the reason I take so much pride in it is because—”
He cut me off with a kiss. “You don’t have to explain. I get it. We’ll structure it however you want. Just have your lawyer draw up the contract and I’ll sign. Give me your bank account number, and I’ll have the transfer made tomorrow. That way you can complete the buyout whenever you’re ready.”
Someone being able and willing to hand over that kind of money with just a phone call was hard to fathom. Especially since I didn’t think of Carter as a wealthy, famous athlete. I just thought of him as the guy who’d stolen my heart… and refused to give it back. Not that I wanted it back now. He could keep it. Forever, if that was what he wanted. God, I hoped that was what he wanted.
“I was hoping you’d be agreeable to a seven-year term?” I asked, cringing at the thought of being indebted to anyone for that long. “Maybe five, if things go well?”
“Take as long as you need. I don’t care.” He smiled when I shook my head. “What? I don’t care. Take twenty years, if you need to. Hell, don’t pay it back—”
“Don’t say it,” I warned, fastening his lips with my finger. “I won’t accept charity or a gift or whatever you want to call it. This is a loan, and I will pay you interest, Carter. Posted rate.”
He rolled his eyes. “That’s ridiculous. You don’t have to pay me interest.”
“It’s the only way I’ll agree,” I said, crossing my arms in what I hope he recognized as a show of defiance. The only way I could accept his generosity was to treat it as a business loan, like he was a private lender, not my lover.
“You’re so stubborn.” He kissed my neck. “You know that, don’t you?”
“But you’ll accept my… terms?” Damn, it was hard to think when he was licking swirls on my neck.
“Not like I have a choice if I want to get that son of a bitch out of your life.”
“You’re doing more than that,” I told him, capturing his face in my hands. “I hope you realize that. You’re allowing me to live my dream. To call all my own shots without having anyone looking over my shoulder, questioning every decision I make. I love you for that.” He kissed me, making me smile. “But I love you even more for believing in me and my business enough that you were willing to hand over that kind of money without even going over our books or seeing a business plan or…”
“What?”
“Carter, wait, you should do that. You should have your lawyer and accountant make sure this is a financially sound investment for you. I wouldn’t feel right about it otherwise.”
He sighed heavily. “Is this another one of your conditions? ‘Cause I honestly don’t give a shit what anyone says about it. I’m doing it.”
His faith in me was unwavering, and that was both scary and humbling. What if the economy tanked or a competitor found a way to rip us off? What if Alex started a competing business and captured a portion of our market share? So many things could go wrong in business and often did. I’d feel sick if Carter lost all that money because betting on me had been a mistake.
“You shouldn’t gamble with money you can’t afford to lose.” Before he could interject, I said, “I know you make safe investments. You have people advising you who will probably tell you this is anything but.” When we were dating before, he’d told me his investment strategy was pretty conservative and he’d have more than enough to last a lifetime. But that wouldn’t be the case if he invested millions in a company that went bankrupt…
“Baby, I can afford to lose it. But I know that’s not going to happen. I know your company is only going to get bigger and more profitable with time.”
“No one can know that for sure.” I bit my lip, thinking of all the young entrepreneurs out there who would kill to be in my position, with an investor who believed in them as much as Carter believed in me. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate your confidence in me, but—”
“This is the way I see it,” he said, looking determined. “I want us to be life partners. That means your losses and gains are mine too. If we were married and your business hit a bump, I’d shoulder it because I can.”
I knew that was the way it worked, that married people shared all of life’s burdens. There had been times throughout my parents’ forty-year marriage when my father had been out of work and my mother had worked two jobs to pick up the slack, and I’d never once heard her complain. She said she was just doing what she had to do because she loved him and wanted to support him.
“But we’re not married,” I reminded him gently. “I love you, and I want to be with you. But this is a lot of pressure to put on a new relationship, don’t you think?”
“To you, this may be a new relationship,” he said, looking annoyed. “But I spent a hell of a lot of time thinking about things over the past few years, including all the things I would have done differently if we’d stayed together.”
“Such as?” I knew I had a long list and he did too, but I wasn’t sure we had the same regrets.
“It’s not like you never talked to me about your plans for the future, Jas.” He rolled onto his back, stacking one hand behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. “Right here in this bed, dozens of times. You got your MBA because you wanted to start your own business. I mean, that was always the plan, right?”
“Sure.”
“I knew that.”
The lights were dim, but I could still see the tick in his jaw, a clear indicator of his inner turmoil. And I hated that. I knew we had to learn from our mistakes, but I didn’t want to live in the past.
“Yet I didn’t step up and offer to help you. I could have. I should have.” He looked pissed off when he said, “That one decision could have changed everything. If I’d just opened my mouth and said that I wanted to be a part of your dream, you would have seen how committed I was to you, how much I wanted to be in your life for the long haul.”
I would have been shocked if Carter had made an offer like that before. Mainly because, as he said, I didn’t see us going the distance. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I believed I was a sma
ll part of his life. One of many women.
“I don’t blame you for anything,” I told him honestly. “I could have just as easily put myself out there and I didn’t. I guess we were both scared.”
“But I’m not scared anymore,” he said, rolling onto his side to face me. “I’m not afraid to lay it all on the line now. To tell you how I feel. I’m not afraid to invest every dime I have in you and our future.”
Tears pricked my eyes as I pulled him close. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Jazzy.” His kiss was sweet and tender before he whispered, “That’s why you have to let me do this, okay? And you’re not allowed to feel bad about it. I know if our situations were reversed and you could help me, you would.”
“I would,” I said, offering him a watery smile as I stroked his stubble. “I really would.”
He grinned. “Good, then let me do this for you.”
I nodded, completely overwhelmed. My feelings for him, his generosity, all of it just blew my mind. “Okay.” I kissed him, allowing my excitement to bleed through my apprehension. “Let’s do this.”
***
Carter
I was sitting next to Butler on the flight. Most of the guys were passed out or had their headphones on, listening to music or watching a movie, but I could tell he was stewing about something. He’d been on edge all morning and I didn’t know whether he wanted to talk about what was eating at him, but I had to try.
“You okay, man?” I asked, nudging him with my elbow. “You’re not nervous about tonight’s game, are you? ‘Cause I honestly think we—”
“I don’t give a shit about the game,” he snapped. “There’s more to life than that, Wells.”
“Okay.” Guess he didn’t feel like talking. I could take a hint. I reached for my headphones, but his heavy sigh kept me from putting them on.
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