by C C Monroe
“Yeah, I know.” Gently grabbing her hips and moving her tiny frame, I reposition her next to me then leave the bed.
“Kings?” Her voice evens out, sounding confused yet offended.
Distressed, I place my hands behind my head and pace back and forth in front of the bed. Not able to settle myself, I wrack my brain for where to start, and with each passing second, my anger starts to surface.
“I went too far today,” I release through a heated breath, the words burning my throat.
“Yeah. You did.”
I stop, my brows lifting, not expecting her to concede so abruptly like that. “Fuck, baby, I’m sorry.” I drop to my weak knees and immediately start on my road to redemption. “Come here.”
She listens, crawling to the edge of the bed. My jaw unhinges, but she speaks before I can start my train of apologies. “But, it was far enough to make sense. Far enough to help me. Kingston, you can’t take it back, and you can’t regret it.”
“Baby, throw me a fucking bone.” I’m confused. I can’t tell if she’s pissed at me or if she’s really as cavalier about this as she has been all day.
“Kingston, stop.” She grabs my face with a firm grip, zoning in on me. I stop my rambling, dumbfounded. “I’m not going to lie. You scared the shit out of me, but you revived me.”
“How?” I grip her thighs.
“You took me there thinking I needed to learn some way to protect myself, but what if he never comes back?”
“What does that have to do with any of this, L?”
“Kingston, I never had the chance to defend myself all those years ago. I took every blow and weathered all the healing.” She pulls me in closer, connecting our foreheads. “When I opened my eyes and saw his face on that target, each thundering sound from the blast of every bullet made me feel him there.”
She peers up, choking back her emotions, trying to mask her tears. Her head lulls forward again and her smile broadens. Her dimples deepen, and one rebel tear prevails, falling clean and straight, landing on my cheek. “He was there feeling every single bullet, like I felt every single ache and pain from his fists...his boots...his words. He took it all, and I felt my retribution bursting from me. You awoke a beast in me, Kingston. You awoke the Lana that I always aspired to be—a part of you. I felt as strong as you.”
My heart tweaks and twists painfully in my already tight chest, but her words are starting to set it fucking free. “More. Tell me more.” Not ready to be convinced just yet, I push her.
“Want more? I’ll give you so much more.” She pushes me back and I land flat on my ass. Slinking eloquently to me, she straddles me again, pulling my cock free from my sweats with skillful effort.
“You are the man of this house. The man of my heart.” She strokes me, her nipples hardening, as does my cock.
I growl, snapping. Pulling her forward with my hand in the center of her back, I latch on to her ear, licking, sucking, and whispering, “Don’t you fucking stop now.”
“You are the very blood in my veins, the beat thumping in this chest.” She grabs my hand from her hip and brutally pins it against her chest, right above her breast. “Today, for the first time in years, you got it fully beating again. So man up, Donovan, because you just won me over completely. Heart, mind, and soul, and if you want to sulk about that and blame yourself, then go right ahead, but I’m content right where we stand.”
Going up on her knees, she hurries and slams down on me, choking my throat with the action and keeping my words locked where they want to scream out but can’t. It’s now, the moment I wanted her to be mine completely in and out, and I’m nearly sure this is all just a twisted dream. Wanting it for so long and then getting it, the confusing pull between reality and make believe, I can’t tell if I’m even in the now, or if I’m lost in the unknown.
Her walls grip me tight, taking every inch of my ten inch beast, her little pussy stretching violently to do so. My hand flies up to cover her porn star gasps, her thundering screams bursting forth from the depths of her chest, as if she hadn’t ever been touched like this.
“Is this it then?” I growl, thrusting up into her, my balls drawing up in an attempt to explode, but I have to mentally scold myself before they can. I don’t want this to end. She’s fixing that empty pit in my stomach, that dull ache in my heart where I feel I bruised her.
“Yeah, this is that forever type of thing, Kingston,” she pants around my spread fingers on her lips. Her hair falls around her like it was caught up in a hurricane with the tilt of her head. Her skin arouses in bumps, a result of the chill from the room and the heat from our bodies.
I slowly find forgiveness with each jolt of pleasure escaping her body, her soft whimpers, and words of praise. “Say it then. Say you belong to me.” I flip us so she lays out on our carpet, her knees now bent and pushed up to the sides of her chest.
“I fucking belong to you. You own me, like a pet, like a possession, like a human treasure to you. You own me in every way it means to—fuck—to own someone, Kings.”
I pile drive, splitting her in two, really showing her what it’s like to be owned by me. I have fucked Lana before, but I’ve never really showed her just how fucking savage I can be.
I feel my cock hitting her cervix with each suction of her pussy. We aren’t just fucking though; we are making love without bars and windows surrounding us. We are finally deep inside one another, physically, emotionally, and most definitely mentally.
“You’ve never done...oh, you’ve never done this to me before!” she cries, her eyes squeezed closed.
“Welcome to the new us,” I praise, biting her jaw and growling as my balls tighten with her walls.
“Come for me, Kingston. Fill me up. I wanna come with you.” She holds off, biting that lip and keeping those eyes shut.
“I won’t come till I see those honeys.”
Her eyes fly open, and the second they do, the lust in them has me coming for long seconds, and just as I begin to finish, Lana bares down, her walls pulsing around me, and her little pained whimpers come out. I know she’s fighting to stay quiet in her euphoria, and there’s something sexy about it.
“Hold that in. Be a good little girl and keep those moans.”
“I want it again, Kingston. I need it.” Her eyes show pleasurable pain.
Holy fuck, she sucked me fucking dry. I need a few minutes before I can go again, so I change positions. Pulling from her, she tries to tug me back in and I laugh deep in my chest. “Eager little thing. Give me a minute to come back from that. Lay back, angel.”
She doesn’t pause; she falls straight on her back and I pin her knees to the ground, moving down her body and going in for the kill.
“Yes!” she screams, and I know the house had to hear her. I’m sure the fucking foundation settled more. Pointing my tongue, I lap at her swollen clit, my come leaking from her and smelling delicious mixed with her juices. It’s the preferred taste for a beast like me.
She tries to close her legs, but I don’t let up on her. Lana grasps my hair and pulls, punishing me for holding her down, and that shit stirs my cock back to life. That, and the sweet heat of her swollen entrance against my tongue.
“Please let me move, Kingston. It’s too much.”
I peer up over her pubic bone. Her face is strained and looking down on me. With a sinister laugh, I whisper, “I’ve seen you handle more.” She gasps as I bite her clit, and her orgasm hits her like the impact of a bulldozer, her mouth falling open as she fights for air.
“Uh, mmm, uh!” Just like that, she fucking squirts on my face, her orgasm beyond powerful enough for it to be anything but explosive.
I keep going, letting her legs go and pulling her limp, tired body to me. I slide my hard cock home, fucking her lazily. I could lose myself like this for hours. I could go all night like a wild animal if it wouldn’t hurt Lana, but it would. She’s too small, and I’m too wound up.
I watch her body move slowly under me, mine towering
over her. My hands look large against her hips, my cock violent inside of her, her tan tits peaked and beautiful.
“Give me.” Unable to make a coherent sentence, she reaches for me, and I give her what I know she wants.
Pulling her up to me, I sit with my back against the bed and her body flush against me. “Ride me, baby. Keep me inside. Circle them hips.”
She does as I say, but her body is still too weak. “I can’t. Help me.” She kisses my cheek, her hands gripping my shoulders, the small gesture slowing me down. We had rough; now we can be soft.
“Slow down and let me lead. Let me take control.” That’s the first time I can say that word and be confident with it.
Nodding, she lets me control our connection, but she drives us home with soft, womanly touches. Her lips meet mine, moving rhythmically, in sync and connected. Her taste is a thing I will never tire of or forget, because a man never forgets the taste of his mate.
And for a solid hour, we really connect in ways that we never have before. Lana finally surrenders herself to me completely.
I left the house early this morning to meet our bands for some early sessions, so I could close down and set up the studio for the engagement. Trey and I got lost in work, him to ensure that we finished in time to set up, and me because I’m a fucking mess and I needed a damn distraction.
It’s nearly 3:00 p.m., and Lana is set to be here by 6:00. I need to finish up recording the song I wrote for her and set up all the candles and flowers Shayla suggested. Hearts, flowers, and the whole fucking nine yards.
Shay walks in the door with bags of supplies, and I see her through the glass as I sing the last verse into the microphone. Trey is working the soundboard, giving Shayla a quick kiss as she smiles at me. I wink at her, and she gives me an excited, childlike wave, bouncing on the balls of her feet—such a Shayla thing to do.
Hanging my headphones around the extended neck of the microphone condenser, I leave the sound room. Shayla claps her hands excitedly when I enter.
“It’s the freakin’ day, bubba! Ahh!” she screams, lunging for me and wrapping her arms around my thick neck. I stumble back with an “Umph,” and smirk.
My body catches up, and I wrap my arm around her waist. “You’re a nut job. And what the fuck are you wearing?” I growl, deflecting.
“What do you mean?” She steps back and peers down at her outfit. The frayed shorts show ass, and her low-cut silk tank show enough cleavage it could catch fucking pennies. Her hair is pulled back in a messy bun, and she has one of those new choker things on her neck. I swear I don’t know when she grew into a woman.
“Don’t even bother. I already flipped my fucking shit,” Trey says, messing around with the track on our computer, his eyes staying focused there and not on Shay and me. But really, me and Lana were so wrapped up in us that I truly missed my little sister growing up. Sure, I was there when she became a mother and a wife, but was I truly there? Guess not.
“Will you two cavemen hush up? It’s trendy and cute, and I make it look fierce. Now stop putting this off! You’re getting engaged!”
“I know. Fuck, do I know.” I run my hand through my hair, making it a mess like I am inside.
“I can’t wait for her to get here. You’re gonna be a married-man-to-be.” She punches my shoulder and I barely feel it.
“Can we hear the song? I’m getting fucking anxious, guys.” I change the subject and take a seat next to Trey while Shayla sits on his lap. It’s a comfortable temperature in the room, yet it feels like I’m in the middle of the Mohave Desert on a summer’s day. The song starts playing, and I bite on my thumb nail, my elbows resting on my jittering knees.
Looking over to Shayla and Trey, I assess their reactions. Shayla is beaming, and I can’t tell if that’s her reaction, or if she’s just doing what she always does—smiling. Trey is bobbing his head, closing his eyes and feeling the music, the producer side of him the one in the room.
I recorded the song I wrote for Lana those months ago when we were last here, making blood-red, rip-roaring, passionate love. The song crescendos in the last few bars, and then slows down, melodically coming to an end.
“So?” I ask abruptly before anyone has time to react. Shayla wipes under her eyes, and I have no idea when she went from smiling to crying.
“Bubba, that’s beautiful. It’s totally you two.”
“It’s her. She’s my song. My beautiful lyric.”
“Oh, bud! She’s gonna love this.” She stands and rubs my shoulder.
“I hope so.” I keep my head down, and my eyes search the floor for a map or sign written out for me, a clear answer that she will fucking say yes. Lana and I may have shattered every damn wall that stood high in front of us, but what if it’s all too much too soon? These doubts could be due to the amount of times we went with repeating the same motion of two feet forward and three steps back.
“Hey, baby?” Shayla’s voice interrupts my spiraling into self-pity stupor.
“Yeah?” Trey responds, and I peer at Shayla in front of me.
“Give me and my brother a moment alone?” She glances over, and he gives a knowing nod. I stay sitting as our eyes follow Trey’s retreating form. When he leaves, Shayla has my full attention. “Talk to me.”
“About?”
She stares with knowing eyes, looking through me like I’m a glass house. “Don’t play silly. Talk it out with me. I know you’re a mess up here.” She taps two fingers gently against my temple.
“You ever want something so bad you almost think it’s unattainable?”
Shayla nods, looking down and briskly touching her flat stomach. “I’ve been there before, yeah.”
I place my hand over her stomach and let her feel that quick lash of pain. She may have two beautiful babies, but her health dwindled shortly after, and though she never really tells me about it, I know it affects her.
“But this isn’t about me. You think Lana is the unattainable?”
“Yes.”
“But you said you guys are finally on the express train with a one way ticket to happy town.” She smirks, running her nurturing, delicate palm over my cheek.
“We are, but aren’t we always? I can’t tell if this is a sweet dream or beautiful nightmare, Shay. We have spent years going back and forth. We’ve talked about marriage, and multiple times we agreed it’s what we wanted, but there was never any fucking follow-up.”
“Sure, but Kingston, this is way different. This is the end. Every other chapter has been read. Can’t you see that?” I drop my head in my hands and my stomach about loses its contents.
Standing fast to keep the bile from rising, I take ragged breaths, sucking in more air than my lungs have the capacity to take. The room feels terrifyingly small, and my large frame only compliments that tight feeling.
“Kingston, bubba, relax.”
I realize my breathing is heavy, loud enough to sound out of control.
“I can’t. She’s my everything. Is all this shit enough?” I gesture to the space around us.
“Yes, it’s more than enough. Don’t you know anything about our girl?” she questions, and I give a little nod. “She is a minimalist. She just wants the people she loves, nothing else. She doesn’t need flashy. She needs passion, and bubba, look at you.” Dragging her hand up and down in front of me, she points out, “You’re bleeding passion right now.”
I release a small but relieving breath. A smirk tugs at my lip as I think about my girl and her ways.
“Fuck, you’re right. I need to get my shit together. It’s her and me, right?”
“Right,” she reassures.
“Our hearts are fucking aligned. I feel it.” I grip my chest, and I swear I can feel Lana doing the same thing.
“Besides, if she says no, I will be right there, smacking her right on the ass and getting her head back in the game.” She winks, and I physically relax, my hand still on my heart.
“Who saw the day you would be the one taking care of me
?” I pull her in, digging her head into my chest, drawing comfort from her.
“Oh, bubba, I’ve been taking care of your knucklehead for forever. Keeping you out of jail, from being expelled, from letting too much shit come out of your mouth.” We both laugh and I don’t argue; she does have a point.
“True, but don’t tell anyone. You’ll ruin my street cred.”
“Of course.” She pinches my side and I laugh, feeling pounds lighter. All I needed was my sister, my little logical thinker.
“We need to set up and get you guys out of here. Let’s get to it.”
I get to make Lana James mine tonight. Fuck, I love the sound of her full name on my eager tongue. We’ve been fire and ice, thunder and lightening, heaven and hell at times, and now we are the origin where every part of who we are meets in the center and becomes one. I’ve waited years—nearly a lifetime—to make Lana my queen for forever. The thousand forevers were not wasted.
“Promise me forever. One where we’re together. Promise me forever,” I whisper the song Kingston wrote for me in the dim light of Princeton’s room. My pointer finger lazily trails up and down the bridge of my son’s nose, his eyes fluttering shut with the motion. He fascinates me as I look over the angel in my arms, the very reason I am here. The ultimate emblem of the love I have for my king.
Sometimes I grow overwhelmed with sudden emotions that swallow me up. I never knew what love could truly mean until I was stronger, healed, and surrounded by key components in my life that exuded that love. Prince, Kingston, our new little one, and every other person who molded the love I feel in my heart.
“You should be heading out, baby. Kingston is expecting you,” my mama whispers, entering the room.
Keeping my eyes on Prince, I answer by way of a subtle nod. Leaning down, I kiss my son’s forehead. “I love you, forever,” I murmur against his soft skin. Closing my eyes, I take one last cherished moment with him before laying him in his crib and joining my mother. Turning the dim light off, we step into the hall and crack the door, my eyes watching him till they can’t anymore. “I know. I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago, but I couldn’t help it. He’s so perfect.” I gesture to the room behind us as we head downstairs.