His eyes slowly scanned the room. “How long have I been here?”
“This is your sixth day in our house. You’ve been quite ill; delicious with fever.
When did you arrive in the area?” she asked as she pulled the sheet up to his chest.
His frown deepened in concentration. “I’m not sure. Where exactly am I?”
“In a small Christian settlement along the Amazon,” she answered, studying his face for a moment. “What is your name?”
The Amazon?
Josh thought surely the woman had to be mistaken or perhaps he’d misunderstood her. If he could just block out the sound of buzzing bees inside his head he might be able to think. She asked him his name again and where he was from, but it was taking too much effort to find the answers. Their brief encounter had exhausted his meager strength.
“My name?” He shifted restlessly and turned his head away from her persistent probing, wanting only to go back to sleep. “I don’t know.”
He felt too drained to be concerned at his lack of knowledge. Tomorrow was another day. No doubt the questions could be answered by then, but right now he just wanted her to go away and take her pesky questions with her. His eyes clouded over and closed despite her obvious disappointment.
Hannah rushed outside to tell Raymond as soon as she realized Josh wasn’t going to answer her. She related their brief conversation, expressing concern that Josh didn’t know who he was.
“My guess is that his memory loss is probably from the fever. I’m sure it’s only temporary,” he assured her and patted her hand. “Give him time; he’s only just come to.”
“I know, but I was so anxious for him to tell me. Surely he must have people looking for him. Oh Raymond, what will we do if he doesn’t remember who he is?”
“Only God can determine that. In the meantime we must pray that our young patient’s mind clears, so he will be able to help us return him to wherever he belongs.”
Chapter Nine
Too restless to sit, Douglas stood at the bank of windows staring at the assortment of towering buildings that loomed over the city. Rows of dark tinted glass stared back reminding him of huge sightless eyes. He stood with his hands folded behind his back. His appearance was that of a man enjoying the view, while in fact every muscle in his body was drawn tight with nervous tension. Marie’s personal belongings left behind in camp the day she’d been abducted had been delivered to his office that morning.
His eyes strayed unwillingly to the two zippered bags – silent reminders of the last things she’d touched. He hadn’t opened the bags. He’d leave that painful task to Marie’s mother. He didn’t envy her the dubious privilege. They’d never met, but had talked over the phone. Knowing he shouldn’t delay any longer, he jabbed a button on the desk console and gave orders to his secretary to make travel arrangements to Oahu.
>>>>dreams<<<<
When Jenny Rabb opened the door to her condo, her resemblance to Marie left Douglas speechless.
“Thank you for coming.” She stepped back. “Please, come in.”
Dazed, he followed her into a miniscule living room, gave himself a mental shake, and found his voice. “I realize it’s rude to stare, but you . . .” He made himself stop.
“Look like Marie?” she finished. “So I’ve been told. I appreciate the compliment. May I get you iced tea or coffee, Mr. Marsh? I also have a bottle of Merlot if you’d prefer.”
“Douglas, please. Tea will be fine, thank you. I’ve had enough shots of alcohol lately to float a battleship, and the only things I’ve gotten out of them are some nasty hangovers.”
“I know what you mean. Make yourself comfortable, please. I’ll just be a moment.”
He settled his bulk onto a pale green loveseat. An old black steamer trunk with brass locks sat between the divan and two rattan chairs with brightly colored pads on their seats. The atmosphere reflected a coziness he found inviting. He was admiring an arrangement of framed flowers on a wall when Jenny returned carrying a tray.
She set it on the trunk. It held two tall glasses, a small wooden bowl filled with macadamia nuts, and yellow paper napkins with red hibiscus flowers on the front.
He took the glass she handed to him. “Thank you. Did Marie do those flowers?”
“Yes, pretty aren’t they?”
“Very. Unique and lovely – like Marie.”
“She was, wasn’t she?” Jenny looked at her hands for a moment before focusing on Douglas again. “Marie did love you in her own way,” she said in a soft voice.
His brows rose.
“I didn’t know if you were aware of our relationship, such as it was given her reluctance to marry me. I suppose it makes me sound selfish, but I wanted her to myself.” It was his turn to look away. “I shouldn’t have pressured her like I did.”
“She was afraid of commitment. You were special to her, but she saw too much of a bad marriage with her father and me to give you what you needed. People thought of her as a flirt, but it was her way of protecting herself. Inside she was a scared little girl.”
“She hid it well.” He felt emotion jam its way into his chest and settle there like an unwanted intruder. There would only be memories of her now, but memories were often lonely reminders of what might have been, and God knows, he did feel alone. He took a long sip of tea wondering what more he could say to this woman who looked at him with Marie’s eyes. He shifted in his seat trying to think how best to remind her of the reason he’d come when Jenny saved him the trouble.
“Thank you for bringing her things personally. I know you’re a busy man.”
“I would never be too busy to do something like this. I have the bags in the car. Let me go and get them and then I’ll be out of your hair, Mrs. Rabb.”
She looked at him with a sad little smile.
“Douglas, you’re the man who wanted to marry my daughter. Don’t you think it’s about time you call me Jenny?”
Douglas actually felt himself blush – something he hadn’t done in a very long time. It was a bit embarrassing to remind himself that she was more suited to him age wise than Marie had been.
“Yes, I suppose you’re right.” She walked with him to the door, but he stopped before she could open it. “Would you happen to be free to join me for dinner this evening, Jenny?” he asked surprising himself with the impulse.
“As a matter of fact I am, but why don’t you let me cook something here? It’s the least I can do to repay you for coming all this way.”
“Thank you, that’s very generous of you,” he said and felt the grip of loneliness lessen its hold. She wasn’t Marie, but she was nice and he couldn’t deny that he’d like to have her talk to him about Marie. It might even bring them both a measure of comfort.
She cut into his thoughts.
“I’ve wanted to ask you, did your people ever find the man that was taken with Marie? I’d like to meet him if possible.”
“So would I, but unfortunately he was never found.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine the heartache his family must be suffering not knowing what happened to him.”
“Yes. It makes one wonder how they’re managing to cope.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Nancy stood next to Tom and watched the hospital entrance. “Mom and I are worried about Catherine. She’s so down. Except for work, she stays home all the time.”
He kissed her on the end of her nose. “That’s why we’re here, remember?”
“I know, but she’ll probably refuse to let us take her out.”
“We won’t let her. Here she comes, put on your best smile.”
Catherine hung back a moment before going to them.
“What brings you here?”
Nancy linked their arms. “Taking you out to pizza, you lucky girl.”
“I can’t,” came her ready reply. “I’m too tired.”
“We won’t be late and you have to eat.”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do
, but I’m really not fit company.”
Tom put a fingertip lightly over her mouth. “Humor our efforts to be useful.”
She looked at their hopeful expressions. “Oh all right, but no anchovies.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Weeks turned into months and Catherine continued to dream about Josh. In one he appeared to be wandering through a maze of green. She reached out to him, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make contact. Her depression dug in and clenched with an iron fist.
Nancy helped Tom cope. Mere weeks after their first meeting they’d eloped and were now expecting their first child. They were creating a new life for themselves while she clung to the old one. He’d encouraged her to stop pining for what might have been and give someone else a chance. Catherine hadn’t been very enthusiastic, but had promised to try. She was leaving work one evening when a masculine voice called to her.
She stopped and smiled, recognizing the man coming toward her.
“Dr. Wade.”
“I’d say it’s acceptable for you to call me Ryan when we’re not working.”
Her face flushed a pretty shade of pink.
“Habit,” she mumbled.
“Mind if I walk with you to your car?”
“Not at all.”
Catherine liked Ryan. So did everybody else who worked with him. His easygoing manner also made him popular with patients. She remembered seeing his wife a few times before her death from ovarian cancer a little over a year ago. The staff had rallied around him while he struggled through the painful process of his devastating loss.
He tilted his head and looked at the sky.
“It’s a beautiful night.”
“It must be nights like this that make people sit out on their front porch swings counting the stars. That is if there’s anybody around who still does that kind of thing.”
“Oh I’m sure there are.” They arrived at her car. “I realize we’ve only conversed on a professional level and my dating skills are a bit rusty, but I have a couple of tickets to a play for this Saturday evening. I wondered if you’d like to go with me and maybe have a late supper after the performance.”
He looked so endearingly self-conscious that Catherine made her decision before she could change her mind.
“I’d love to.”
He wiped imaginary sweat off his brow.
“I’m glad that’s over.” He glanced at his watch. “Would you be free now to pass another half hour or so over a cup of coffee?”
She dreaded going home to an empty apartment and guessed Ryan was probably suffering the same predicament. She knew he had a young daughter, but there was only so much you could talk about with a child. She remembered her vow to Tom. Josh was only a hazy figure in her dreams now, but Ryan was here.
“A cup of coffee sounds great.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Hamilton stared at Douglas. “You’re leaving us? Isn’t this rather sudden, sir?”
“Actually, no. I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I just had to make a few more arrangements before I could trade in my three piece suits for beachwear.”
“Beachwear?”
Douglas got up and walked around to stand in front of his desk.
“I’m going to try and put the past behind me and start fresh. There’ll be no more regrets for the things I can’t change.”
Understanding dawned.
“You’re moving to Hawaii.”
“I am. When a man gets a second chance at love he’d be stupid to turn it down.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Douglas came into the living room and saw Jenny sitting on the sofa slowly turning the pages of a photo album. “What do you have there?”
She looked up, eyes bright with unshed tears.
“Family pictures.”
He sat down and put his arm around her.
“Marie?” he asked, pointing to a photo.
“Yes, she was seven. It was taken after a dance recital.”
“She was beautiful even then.” He pointed to another photo of a man standing with Jenny and Marie. “Is this her father?”
“Yes. It’s one of the rare times he bothered to come to one of her performances, or anything else she was involved in for that matter.”
“She never talked about him.”
“There wasn’t much to say. They didn’t have a good father/daughter relationship. He spent most of our marriage ignoring her – and tossing his affairs in my face.”
“How sad he couldn’t appreciate what he had. Didn’t you realize what kind of a man he was before you married him?”
“I was young and quite naïve. I thought he loved me. It didn’t take long to realize I’d made a mistake, but I did try to make the marriage work while it lasted.”
“It must have been very hard, but at least he gave you Marie,” he said gently.
“That’s the one thing Alan did right.”
“Does he live here on the island?”
“He did, but he was killed a couple of years ago in a car accident. I suppose it makes me sound bitter, but I didn’t mourn his death – nor did Marie.” She set the book aside. “She’s been gone for months and I still feel so hollow inside. Maybe if there had been a burial things would be different. I need to have some kind of closure, Douglas.”
“I know it’s been hard. Do you have something in mind you’d like to do?”
“Yes, I’ve given it a lot of thought. I want to go to the place in the Amazon where your people had their base camp. I need to see the last place where my daughter was doing what she loved before everything ended for her. I’ll understand if you’d rather not go with me, but I’d appreciate it if you would set up the trip.”
He pulled her fully into his arms.
“On the contrary, I have a few ghosts of my own to bury, and I think it’s only fitting that we make this pilgrimage together.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder.
“Thank you. I know it isn’t going to be an easy trip for either of us, but I’d appreciate having you go with me.”
“I felt like I should have gone with the rescue team, but was politely told I would have been in the way. Since we’re going, I’d like to make inquiries about Josh Dallas. Perhaps something new may turn up. It’d be nice to have some news for his family.”
Chapter Ten
Josh’s recovery was agonizingly slow. There didn’t seem to be any part of his body that hadn’t suffered from his ordeal. His shaggy hair and beard along with his drop in weight made him look worn and haggard like an old man whose vitality had long been used up. But regaining his physical health was only part of his battle to be well again. He also had to fight mental and emotional demons, and the worst part was not knowing who he was and why he’d come to be in the Amazon.
Vague fragments of wild ramblings flashed in and out of his weary brain with tidbits of information that teased, but never told him enough. Josh thought he’d seen a woman in his delirium; beautiful and delicate with pale hair that shimmered like a light in the dark corridors of his mind. He remembered finding comfort in the vision and reached out, wanting to hold onto the image. At other times another woman appeared. This one had red hair, and in his fog of confusion always seemed to be cowering and weeping.
Raymond felt Josh had subconsciously blocked out an ordeal so horrible his brain had buried it along with his identity to protect himself. Since he didn’t know his name, they called him Paul. Raymond approached Josh and asked him the same question he asked every day.
“Has anything new come to your mind yet?”
“No. It’s like swimming in a murky pool of water. I know something’s there and I’m going as fast as I can, but whatever I’m supposed to find stays just out of reach.”
“I confess I thought you would have regained your memory by now. You’ve been with us almost six months and I’ve made inquiries, but communication is sporadic at best here. I’ve been thinking you could have been sent to do some type
of field work.”
“Another one of your theories, Raymond?” he asked, not unkindly. “If that were the case then why has no one come looking for me in all these months?”
“They may very well have been, but this is such a vast area it would be rather like trying to find the proverbial needle in a haystack. I suspect by the state you were in when you came to us that you could have been running away from someone. Or, you might have wandered off and gotten lost from your group.”
Josh snorted with self-disgust.
“If the latter is true, it makes me sound stupid.”
“Not at all. Even experienced people have lost their way here. The vastness of the Amazon is a whole world of its own within the greater picture. Hannah and I haven’t approached you about leaving our house because you’ve been so long in your recovery. But you won’t find what you’re looking for by staying here. Do you feel strong enough to travel now and go seek out some answers?”
“Yes, I’m more than ready. As long as I was so weak I was content to stay here in this protected environment you’ve provided, but I’ve been feeling restless lately.”
“That’s a good sign that you’re ready to let the leopard out of the chapel.”
“I beg your pardon.”
Raymond chuckled.
“Oh, it’s just a saying of mine.”
“I gathered that, but what does it mean?”
“Your mind is the chapel and the leopard represents an unwanted intrusion. They aren’t meant to go together. You must expel the beast, so peace may reign in its place.”
“You’re right. I do feel like there’s a beast inside me trying to claw its way out, and as much as I need to know what that beast represents, I’m afraid of what I may or may not find. I suppose that makes me a coward.”
“No man is a coward who could survive what you’ve been through, Paul.”
>>>>dreams<<<<
Dreams~Shadows of the Night Page 7