by J. C. Hulsey
"You're looking at me and I don't like it."
"I'm sorry, Rose, but I can't help myself. You're so beautiful. With your red hair sticking out in all directions. I love it, and I love you."
"My hair is nothing but a tangled mess of unruly curls. I knew this was a bad idea."
"What was a bad idea?"
"Inviting you to my table."
"I like sitting here with you. It reminds me of our time together on the train. And those long red curls hanging down your back, swirling around your head, look like brilliant red flames."
My jaw tightened as I tried to control my temper. "I think you should head back to town. Surely someone there needs a doctor."
"I think since it's so late, I'll stay the night and get an early start in the morning."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"I'll sleep in the barn, if you'll loan me a blanket."
"Oh, what's the use? I tired of arguing with you." I went over to the bed and pulled a box from under the bed. I opened it, took out a blanket and handed it to him.
"This will do just fine. Thank you for the meal." He stuck the blanket under his arm and walked out the door.
Why did I feel so upset with him all the time? After all, this is the same person that I had feelings for on the train. I don't think he’s changed all that much, so it must be me that's changed. Maybe I act this way because I still have feelings for him. Oh, why does everything have to be so confusing?
I cleaned off the table and got ready for bed.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
The next morning I was up at the crack of dawn. Enjoying the crisp morning air, I walked out to the barn. The air gently stirred the leaves of the giant oak tree that had stood sentinel over this place for as long as I had been here.
“I’m taking care of everything here. You’re supposed to be taking it easy, or did you already forget? Now back inside with you. I’ll be in in just a bit. One of the twins is out checking the fence line. Go on, back inside.”
“Can I at least gather the eggs? I would like to have eggs for breakfast.”
“Alright. But nothing else. I don’t even want you carrying a bucket of water.”
“So how am I to wash and do dishes?”
“I’ll bring it in when I come in. Now gather the eggs and while you’re at it, I like mine over easy. Four of them, please.”
“Oh! Sometime you infuriate me.”
“Yes, I know.”
I gathered the eggs without the threat of Oscar the rooster. He must be hiding this morning. Come to think of it. I didn’t hear him this morning. I wonder where in the world he’s at.
I was just finishing with the eggs when Chet came in with a bucket of milk and a bucket of water.
“I give the milk to the hog each day except Thursdays and Tuesdays. There is too much otherwise.”
“Ok. I’ll just run this out to him.”
“As long as it’s here, let’s pour a couple glasses to have with our breakfast.”
I poured a pitcher about half full and Chet took the reminded out to give to the hog.
“Hurry back, so your eggs don’t get cold.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“This is a mighty fine breakfast, Rose. I really enjoy eating here at the table with you. And this butter is very good spread on this bread this way. How are you feeling this morning? I’d like to listen to the baby’s heart beat again, then I should get back to town.”
He put the cone against my stomach and listened.
“Did you take your pill this morning?”
“I forgot. I’ll take it now.”
“Rose, you must do as I say if you want this baby to be healthy. I’ll stop by Mrs. Templetons and tell her she’s needed here to watch over you and make you take it easy.”
“You’re beginning to make me worry, Chet. Should I be worried?”
“Not if you listen and do what I’ve asked you to do and not do.”
“I will. Chet?”
“Yes.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll walk you to your buggy.”
“Ok. Come on.”
As we walked our hands touched and there it was. That old familiar tingle that I felt the first time we touched. He took my hand in his, our fingers intertwining. It felt good. It felt natural.
When we reached his buggy, he released my hand and there was a feeling of loss. I wanted him to kiss me, but he climbed up into the buggy, looked at me and winked.
“I do love you my sweet Red Rose. Please remember that.” He clicked to the horse and he was off. I watched until I couldn’t see him anymore. What’s wrong with me? Here I was putting the shattered pieces of my heart back together after losing Roscoe, only to have it broken again by someone I trusted and cared for deeply. Can my heart take the chance again? It was barely healed when I met Nate. Can it be fixed, ever again?
I went back inside and cleaned up the breakfast dishes. Then I did what Chet told me to do. I laid down on the bed.
“I’ll just rest my eyes for a little bit.”
The next thing I knew, someone was shaking me.
“Come on, Rose, are you going to sleep all day? It’s Mildred.”
“Where did you come from? Oh my, have I been asleep all day?”
“Apparently you have dear. Dr. Wainsworth told me to come and look after you until it’s time for the baby to come. Now, let me look around and get acquainted with your place so I can take care of you properly.”
“I’ll be able to do something as soon as I wake up.”
“You’re not supposed to anything. That’s why I’m here. That pill the doctor gave you is supposed to help you rest. Did you take it today?”
“So that’s why I slept so long? That scoundrel.”
“He tells me if you don’t slow down and rest, it could hurt the baby. We don’t want that, now do we?”
Mildred made sure I did what Chet told me. Each time I started to do anything, she would scold me and make me sit down. I was beginning to be a bit cranky with her.
"That's alright, Rose. You're allowed to be a little upset. I'm surprised you're as calm as you are."
“I don't mean to fuss with you Mildred, I just can't seem to control my mouth."
"That's absolutely normal. Don't worry about it."
Both the twins started coming each day to do the chores and take care of the stock. They said since I wasn't able to do anything, it would take both of them to take care of everything. I guess I was pulling my weight after all. That made me feel a little better knowing that. I suppose not being active, causing me to put on more weight.
Mildred said it was about time I started showing more. We talked a lot. She told me how it was for her having five babies. She told me how each one had their own personality even before they were born.
“Mildred, I've hardly felt the baby move this entire time. Is that normal?”
“I don't know, dear. What did the doctor say?”
“I don't think he asked about the baby moving.”
“Well, we'll find out pretty soon. I think sometime next week we'll be hearing a little one crying.
The twins had started staying all night in the barn since I was so close to delivering.
One night, the next week, I woke up with the most awful pain I had ever felt. I tried sitting up but the pain only intensified.
“I think it’s mighty close now Rose. How you doing?”
“I can’t stand it. Make it stop. Please make it stop.”
“I’m afraid I can’t do that Rose. This is all part of God’s plan. Just hang in there and it’ll be over soon. I need to go tell the twins to ride for Mrs. Jarrod and the doctor. I’ll be right back.”
“It hurts so much, Mildred.”
“I know, dear. Be brave. I’ll be right back”
She came back inside and started heating water on the stove. She came over and began wiping my face with a cool wet cloth.
&nb
sp; “Oh, that feels so good. Thank you. Ohhhh!”
I lay there for the longest time. It would ease up and then it would start again. It seemed to go on forever.
CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE
Margaret Jarrod showed up about an hour later.
“Rose, you need to get out of bed and walk around. It’s not good for the baby to just lay in bed all the time. Come on, up.”
Mildred and Margaret helped me get to my feet.
“I don’t think I can do it.”
“Sure you can. We’re going to help you. Let’s walk out to the barn since there isn’t enough room in here.”
We walked to the barn and returned. I leaned against the side of the cabin and lost everything in my stomach.
“That’s good, Rose. Now you have room to eat something.”
“I can’t eat anything. But I would like some water.”
Mildred brought me a tall glass of water. I drank it down.
“Can I have another one?”
I drank that one right down, also. The pain would come and go. One minute I thought it had stopped and then it would start again with a vengeance.
This lasted all night and into the next morning. Walking, sitting, and lying in bed. At least I hadn’t thrown up again.
It was almost noon when Chet showed up, followed closely by one of the twins. He jumped from his buggy with his bag in his hand and hurried through the door.
“How you doing Red Rose? Let me take a look?”
After he examined me he said, “It won’t be long now.”
“I can’t stand the pain. Can’t you give me something to ease it?”
“I could, but I won’t. A natural birth is best for the baby. Just hang in there. When you hold your baby in your arms you’ll forget all about the pain.”
“Do you ladies have plenty of hot water?”
“We’re ready. Just waiting on Rose. We explained to her that the first baby takes the longest to arrive. The next one will come much easier.”
“I’m not having any more babies. I don’t want to have to go through this again. Ohhhhh!”
A little baby girl was born a few minutes later. Chet handed her off to Margaret to clean her up.
“Why isn’t she crying? What’s wrong with her, Chet?”
“You don’t worry about the baby right now. I want you to push again as hard as you can.”
Margaret placed baby June on my chest. She was beautiful. But she still wasn’t crying.
“Chet, she’s not going to make it, is she?”
“I’m afraid not. Her little heart just isn’t strong enough. I’m so sorry Rose.”
“You claim to be a doctor, a healer, but you couldn’t save Roscoe and you say you can’t save my baby. What kind of doctor are you?”
June’s heart quit beating after one hour twenty two minutes. I held her as she passed out of this world into heaven.
“I want to bury her next to her father. So he can watch over her. I know they’re both in heaven together. We can do that, can’t we?”
“Of course, Rose. Just as soon as you feel up to the ride into town, we’ll do that.”
“I’m ready now. No reason to put it off.” I started getting out of bed and fell back against the pillow. “Maybe I’ll wait until tomorrow.”
Hardly anyone attended the funeral. The turnout was nothing like it was for Roscoe. Of course, no one but a select few even knew about the baby. I looked up through the tears and saw Nate standing beside Mildred. He was watching me. He nodded his head in recognition. I ignored him.
The scent of fresh turned earth was present just like at Roscoe’s funeral.
Chet again held me to keep me from collapsing. I was thankful to have him to lean on. He helped me back to his buggy. I had ridden to the cemetery with him.
"Why don't you get a room at the hotel tonight? The twins can handle everything until tomorrow.
“Alright.” I didn’t feel like another long ride back to the ranch.
Once I was settled in the buggy, he flicked the reins and the buggy started with a jerk. He drove directly to the hotel.
“Why don’t you wait here and I’ll get you a room.”
I should be upset with him taking charge the way he was doing, but right now I didn’t feel like fussing about anything. He came back and said, “I got a room for you. Let’s get you up to it so you can rest.”
He helped me remove my clothes, washed my face and neck with a cool cloth and helped me into bed.
“Do you want something to eat before you go to sleep?”
“No, I just want to sleep and never wake up.”
“I’ll be back in the morning and wake you. Then we will go and have some breakfast. Goodnight my sweet Red Rose.”
I had a fairly restful night. I dreamed about Roscoe and baby June. I also dreamed about Chet and Nate. It seemed they both wanted me to marry them and were ready to fight over me.
That’s when I woke up. At first I didn’t know where I was. I looked around and realized that I was in bed in my chemise and drawers. I remembered Chet had removed my clothes last night. Somehow I didn’t seem to mind. After all, he is a doctor and had just seen me deliver a baby. There wasn’t any reason to be shy now. I got out of bed, washed my face and dressed.
I walked downstairs and out the door. I walked to the livery stable. I hoped Tiny was there so I could rent a buggy.
“Well, hello Rose. I heard about the baby. I’m so very sorry. It seems like tragedy follows ye around. What kin I help ye with today?”
“I need to rent a buggy to get back to the ranch. There are things that can’t be put off doing.”
“I understood the Jarrod twins were taking care of things for ye? That is until ye get back on yer feet.”
“You’re right, they are helping, but it’s my ranch and not theirs. As the owner, I should me doing my share of the work. Don’t you agree?”
“I surely do agree. As the owner, ye need to be there to oversee the working of the place. I have a little buggy that will get ye there safely. When ye arrive, just turn the horse toward town and he’ll come right back here.”
“Thank you. How much do I owe you?”
“No charge for ye, Red Rose.”
“I don’t feel like fussing with you, thank you. I’ll be on my way. Goodbye.”
It was noon when I reached the cabin. So many memories here. Perhaps I should think about getting rid of this pace and buying another, but I can’t do that. This ranch was Roscoe’s dream. I’ve got to be successful with it for him and for his daughter. I turned the horse and buggy toward town and they headed back the way I had just come. I went into the house. Mildred and Margaret must have cleaned the place before they left. It hadn’t been this clean in a long time. I heated some beans and cornbread and ate. I was very hungry and had a second helping.
I heard hoof beats in the yard. It was the twins coming back from checking the fence line. They were kidding around with one another. It must be nice to be young and carefree like them. When I looked at them, I felt very old. I went to the door and invited them inside for something to eat.
“All I have is beans and cornbread, but it’s good. I just had some.”
“Beans and cornbread will be just fine. We both want to tell you how sorry we are about the baby. It’s really a sad thing to happen to you. First Mr. Brown and now your little baby.”
“Thank you boys. Those kind words mean a lot to me. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that they are both in heaven today. What is your relationship with the Lord?”
“Both of us accepted Jesus two years ago. We got baptized and everything. We go to church every Sunday”
“That’s wonderful news. I so glad to hear it.”
“Are you feeling better now? If so, we need to go back to the way it was before. One of us needs to be helping Pa if you're feeling up to it.”
“I think I’ll be able to hold up my share of the work. You boys do what you have to do.”
CHA
PTER TWENTY SIX
It didn’t take long for things to get back to normal, if you call normal waking before dawn, taking care of animals, then cleaning, washing, all the stuff that I done before. It seemed there was no catching up. It was Sunday. The day of rest after everything else was done. I had leaned it against the house to enjoy the warm sun on my face. I know when I let the sun shine on my face, it makes the freckles worse, but who was I trying to impress.
I looked up as I heard a horse coming around the bend and heading for the cabin. I recognized that horse. It was Nate’s horse and Nate was riding him. He stopped in front of me, dismounted, removed his hat and dropped down on one knee.
“Can you ever forgive me, Rose? I don’t know what came over me. I only wish I could take it all back. Please forgive me?”
“How can you even think I would forgive you? You broke my heart into a million pieces and it’s still broken. I really don’t care to even look at you. You need to leave.”
“I thought you cared for me as much as I cared for you. We were going to be married. How can you just turn off that feeling?”
“I didn’t turn it off, Nate, you did. You called my dead husband a brute and said you could never accept a kid that was his. You turned off those feelings and the switch is now broken. It can’t be repaired. I must insist that you leave, now, please?”
He reached and grabbed my hand. I jerked, but he held tight.
“You’re hurting me Nate. Let go?”
He stood up and pulled me against him. I pushed against his chest with both hands. It was no use. He held me tightly.
“I think you owe me something. After the way I wooed you. The poor widow woman. I could have any woman I wanted, but I chose you. Now I want something from you. He pulled me into the cabin and threw me on the bed.
I kicked and clawed, but he was too strong. He fell on top of me and I was having a hard time breathing. I remembered something Mildred had told me during the times we talked. Just relax, go limp. I guess he thought I was giving up because he raised up and started to remove his clothing. When he did, I kicked with all my might and he landed on the floor beside the table. I jumped up, grabbed Roscoe’s rifle and pointed it at Nate’s head.
“Hold on there, Rose, you’re not going to shoot me.’