What would become of me? Gaius shivered at the thought.
“Are you cold?” Valerius broke the awkward silence as he noticed Gaius rubbing his arms as he huddled near the fire.
“Not really,” he lied.
Valerius smiled as he reached behind him and tossed Gaius his lion-skinned cloak. Gaius eagerly wrapped the warm fur around him, enjoying the soft feel of the hide, which lifted his spirits a bit higher.
“You should try spending a winter in north of the Po Valley. Some nights, it seems you have to light the whole damn forest on fire to stay warm. Hell, we couldn’t burry our dead some nights,” Valerius commented as she continued to stroke the raging fire that sat between he and Gaius.
Gaius did not reply, which Valerius sighed at, seemly hoping his attempt at humor would break the tension between, he and Gaius.
“You should eat something. You’re practically skin and bones.”
“I am not hungry, thank you,” Gaius replied as a nearly full bowl of stew sat near his feet. The food wasn’t bad, and in fact, it was very much the same that his father had made every night since his mother passed from this world.
As thunder clapped, in the distance, Gaius glanced over at Valerius, who continued playing with the smoldering logs in the fire. It was then that Gaius seemed to recognize that the old soldier’s mind was lost, as if the gravity of what was asked of him was weighing heavily on his mind. Gaius realized, while he had lost a father, Valerius had lost someone special to him as well, and it was out of love that he had decided to take Gaius under his wing — a last act of friendship.
Taking a deep breath, Gaius spoke. “How long did you know my father?”
An uneasy grin appeared on Valerius’ face as he continued to play with the fire, more so out of distraction than necessity.
“Well, I was a few years older than you when I first met your father. We both joined the Sixth during one of the wars with the Samnite. I was young and stupid back then, full of unfounded confidence. I was a big lad, already skilled with the sword, hailing from wealthy roots. I believed I deserved the best position just because I thought I was of higher birth than anyone else. However, your father, he challenged me, put me in my place more than a few times and showed me that to be a good leader I had to be a better follower.”
Valerius smiled at the memories of his youth.
Gaius leaned in closer, listening carefully to every word the legate said.
“So, you two were friends then, from the start?” Gaius asked.
Valerius laughed with a bellowing roar.
“Oh no, dear boy, your father and I were bitter rivals from the very start. I hated his guts from the moment I first laid eyes on him. So pious, confident, and like I, remarkable skilled.”
Gaius looked more than a little surprised to hear Valerius’ statement, which was spoken with all honesty.
“What do you mean?” Gaius asked as his smile disappeared.
“I and your father challenged each other daily, in anything and everything you could imagine, just to see who the best was: who was superior with the sword, spear, and the better horsemen, boxing, wrestling, eating, and even who could lay the most women.” Valerius winked with the last comment and added, “I must admit that I always came out on top with the woman,” he finished with an odd grin that Gaius failed to comprehend.
Valerius continued, “Many times our daily challenges came to violent blows. We would fight until one of us couldn’t get up, or until the centurions beat us over the backsides with their vine-canes; bloodied, bruised and even a broken bone or two from time to time. It did not matter as long as one of us proved who the better was. However, with all that said, our spirited contests made both of us the best among the Sixth.”
“And then you became friends, from your contests?”
“Oh no, we became even greater rivals.”
“Then what changed? What made you two brothers in the end?”
“War — namely Rome’s conflict fought with Carthage many years before you were born.” Valerius tossed another log onto the fire, which sparked and crackled as the heat of the flamed engulfed it.
“Carthage?” Gaius’ mind drifted.
“Where are they?” Gaius asked.
“Africa, to the west of Egypt and Numidia. They aren’t too different than us, in many ways: akin government, similar heritage, related customs, yet, we couldn’t be more different either. Both Carthage and Rome seek to control the Mediterranean, but they have a superior navy and trade than we, at least they did before the war.”
“Is that why Rome went to war with Carthage?”
“Who can guess: land, wealth, greed, or two fat men who couldn’t come to an understanding. All I know is, young men like your father, and I was called to service, to fight and to kill men we’ve never met or seen until then. The why wasn’t important when we fought to stay alive.”
“So the war made you friends, finally?” Gaius asked.
“Yes, it did,” Valerius smiled, as Gaius seemly cheered up in knowing that his father hadn’t damned him to one of his enemies.
“You see, Gaius, all those years your father, and I fought one another, made both of us strong men, better than most. We quickly realized that alone we were powerful men, but when we were together, we were nearly unstoppable. We lost many friends during the war, most we trained with our entire adult life, but always we were there for each other — he protecting my back, and I his.
Gaius smiled at the thought of seeing in his mind, his father in his prime, battling wave after wave of enemy barbarians with Valerius by his side. What a sight the two must have been, true heroes of Rome; champions like those he acted with Antony.
The two were silent for a moment as Valerius’ own thoughts drifted to his youth with Julius and their many adventures together. And then after several quiet minutes he broke the silence, his voice now low and somber as he felt compelled to confess the truth to Gaius.
“I have something that I need to tell you — something that I think is important for you to know before we continue forward.”
Gaius could read the change in the mood as Valerius stared at him with daunting eyes that showed the slightest hint of reservation behind them.
“What is it?” Gaius asked.
Valerius took a deep breath, and then spoke.” I am the reason your father is dying — the reason he had to give you away. It is entirely my fault that you were forced to leave your old life behind, and those you called your friends.”
Gaius’ eyes opened wide as he struggled for words, but managed to utter, “What…What do you mean it is your fault? I don’t understand.”
Valerius hesitated as he dropped his head low, not wanting to look into Gaius’ innocent eyes, as he stared with confusion at the confession.
Taking a deep breath, he began, “The war was nearing its conclusion. Our cohort was on patrol. We had been camped in Sicily for nearly a year, and had tamed most of the tribes that were loyal to Carthage, so we did not expect anything to come. However, they did, from the hill like raving madmen. We held our ground against several charges as the bastards bashed into our shields, times and time again, until finally they broke. Nevertheless, your father, who was the chief centurion of the cohort, did not fall for the trap. He ordered our forces to hold their ground, but I, foolishly disobeyed. By century advanced, determined to slaughter the cunts to the last man, but it was then when we were at our most vulnerable that they hit us from either side. With the hills around us, we couldn’t form proper ranks, so my century was being slaughtered almost to the last man.”
Valerius’ words were growing angrier as, he detailed the encounter, becoming more animated as he went into further description of the fighting that followed the ambush.
Gaius hung on his every word as he inched closer to Valerius. He tried to imagine what the old veteran must have been like, young and strong as he battled the horde of bloodthirsty Carthaginians and their allies.
“Eventually most of
my men ran back to our primary line, which was now beginning to pull out under the threat of being encircled by a superior force, a wise choice on your father’s part. I, on the other hand, was lost in my rage. I stood my ground as my men withered all around me, holding my own against any bastard who challenged me. However, even I in my youth wasn’t Mars; I’m shameful to admit now.”
“What did you do? How did you survive?”
“The whore-son’s had me surrounding, at least twenty of them, and despite the bodies that lay beneath my feet, they weren’t fearful of the Roman officer who stood defiant. They teased me, using their spears to slow me, taking pot-shots when they could — pierce my leg, my arm and my hip. I was done for, either then or later when they took me prisoner, but then I heard your father’s war cry as he charged down the field on top a horse. Where he got one I can’t imagine, but he looked like the god Apollo coming to my rescue.”
“Wow! Apollo?” Gaius mused with a wide grin.
“Oh yes, my boy. He charged into the Carthaginian ranks, killing at least three of them before I regained my wits and finished off another pair.”
Valerius paused for a moment as he took a deep breath.
“But one of the bastards tossed a spear, which tripped the horse. Your father was thrown from it, landing on his head. He lived and seemed no worse of ware, but he cracked his helmet straight now its seam. Blood gushed from a deep gash across his head, but strangely, he did not seem fazed by it at all. He charged at the remaining soldiers, crazed with madness, killing I dare say, more than I. Those who stood alive ran off, giving your father, and I time to escape the battlefield.”
“Then he saved you?”
“Yes, but with a price. As we were leaving, several miles safely from their territory, your father collapsed and would not wake up for a very long time. I carried him back to our legion camp and got him the help he needed. For a while, I wasn’t sure he would ever wake up again, but he did, and again, probably thanks to his hard head; he seemed okay.”
“I don’t understand,” Gaius asked as he now sat right next to Valerius, trying to wrap his young mind around what was being said.
“Well, you see, there are many injuries you can sustain on the battlefield that will end you slowly over time, but those taken to the head can be the worse — more terrible than death, for it will kill you over a lifetime. You may be fine for years even, but then one-day everything is different; your body won’t work anymore. You may have fits of the limb, cold sweats, raging temperatures, and much worse. A powerful man, such as your father can become as frail as a small boy, I’m afraid. And while your father would not show it to you, he knew that his time was growing ever shorter. He wanted to spare you from seeing him fall — overtaken by this old wound, one that I’m responsible for.”
Valerius lowered his head; his voice filled with regret as his somber words ran deep through Gaius’ heart.
“If it weren’t for me and my action, your father would still be alive. He would be able to raise you, teach you what is needed to become a man, and allow you to make your own choice as to what to do with your life. I’ve robbed him of his life, but so too I’ve done the same for you.”
Valerius looked down at Gaius and rested his hand on the boy’s shoulder as he continued.
“Gaius, I will understand if, someday you seek to avenge your father’s fate. I am at fault, and it is your right as his son. I deserve no less.” Valerius’ words were sincere.
Gaius did not say anything for what seemed like a long time. He didn’t know how to respond. He knew it was in his right to take action against the man who was to become his teacher — the man who would train him to be a soldier, to kill. Even so, Gaius looked up at Valerius with different eyes, not filled with hatred for what the old soldier had told him, but a sense of understanding that was beyond his years.
Gaius shook his head, “No. My father told me once shortly after my mother left this world that we can’t question the will of the gods. We are not wise enough to understand their plan for us, and we have to accept that each day that we live, is a gift. What he did for you, he did out of love. It is no excuse for why he had to come to your rescues, but he would have done it regardless, even if he knew what the outcome would have been. I believe he never blamed you, and therefore, I have no need to hold any grudge against you for your part in what happened.”
Valerius managed a smile. It was obvious that he did not feel right about the mistake he made, but he admired the young man for his wisdom, nevertheless.
“I don’t think I could kill,” Gaius suddenly stated after a short silence. The image of Calfax came to him: the way he killed, so meaninglessly, without mercy or feeling for those he cut down. A part of him wondered if that was his future now, to be trained to fight other men, and to take pride in the act of killing — to allow vanity to confuse him as it had Valerius in his youth.
Valerius shook his head. “It is never easy. As a soldier, you might be…you will be called to do so, to protect yourself and the men under your command.”
“What do I do when I’m faced with the chose?
“It is different for each man. You will learn things that you can’t understand now, skills that will give you the tools you’ll need to protect yourself, and hopefully prepare you for the day when you’ll be faced with your life, or another’s. Even so, nothing I teach you will make it easier. When the time does come, it will be up to you to take action, or die. It really is as simple as that. I would, however, suggest that you always keep in your heart the memories of those you are fighting for. It will make it that much easier in the end.”
“Julia, and Antony,” Gaius muttered to himself before he gazed up into the old soldier’s eyes. “How do I know I will ever be strong enough, when that day comes?”
“You, my young ward, have more courage and strength than you know. I can see great things in you, as I saw long ago in your father. I know you will be valiant, greater than your father and I.”
Valerius took a swig of water before he placed his arm around Gaius’ shoulder, deciding that it was best that he changed the subject to something more entertaining for the lad.
“Did your father ever tell you how he met your mother?”
“No, he did not,” Gaius replied as his ears perked up with renewed interested.
“Oh, wonderful; let me indulge you then. As it so happened, when your father was back in our camp, after his rescue of me, it was your mother who nursed him to health when he finally woke up from his long slumber.”
“Really, she did? Why was she in the camp?” Gaius asked with a wide smile.
“Well, as I’m sure you already know. Your mother was quite a talented healer. And too, she was a strikingly beautiful woman; some think your father acted through most of his recovery just to be around her longer. Many of the men, including myself had desired her, but it was your father who won her heart. Even still, I never saw what she saw in that big lug, but the two ultimately fell in love. However, there was one big problem that stood between their union.”
“What was that?”
Valerius looked down at Gaius and spoke softly as he answered, “Your mother was a slave.”
“A slave?!" He gasped, truly shocked by the revelation.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. She belonged to our camp prefect, and since she was beautiful, and a talented healer, the prefect was not willing to part with her. Nevertheless, that fact did not stop your father from approaching him and requesting that the prefect sign her over to him — he even offered to buy her.”
“What happened?”
“I’m getting there,” Valerius laughed. “Well, by the time your father woke up and started his romance with your mother, word gotten out about your father’s heroics on the battlefield, how he saved a certain promising officer with strong family connections, myself, from a hundred rampaging Carthaginians — or was it two hundred? I forget. Needless to say, your father was a real hero of Rome. The prefect offered him anything he wan
ted, promotion, money, other slaves, land and more, but it was only your mother whom he desired. Not wanting to lose face in front of his men, the prefect agreed to sign ownership of your mother over to Julius.”
“Then what happened,” Gaius asked eagerly.
“Well, you’re here aren’t you,” Valerius chuckled.
“That isn’t what I mean. What happened next? Did they marry?”
“Well, your mother was now the property of your father, and he could have forced her to do anything he wanted. However, the first thing he did was give your mother her freedom. I tried to talk him out of it. I believed she would run the moment, she was a freed woman, but to my surprise, she remained and agreed to marry your father. A few years later the war finally ended. Your father was awarded land for his bravery before he eventually left the army and retired to his property, where you grew up.”
Valerius’ smile widened as he admitted a hard truth to himself. “I must confess, while I’ve enjoyed my life, wealth, privilege and the chance to train many fine young men, I have always envied your father greatly. He found true love, something that is precious, and something that so few men actually manage to find.”
“I never knew any of this,” Gaius commented as his thoughts drifted.
“I suspect they never wanted you to know, not now any ways."”
Gaius smiled as he looked up at his new friend, “Thank you, Valerius.”
The veteran just smiled.
“You should hear about our exploits in Africa, your father and I. Now those were some harry days,” Valerius bellowed with a funny grin.
“Please tell me.”
Gaius stood taller as his stare fixed on Valerius as he began another story. For the rest of the night and the days that would follow, the apprehension between the two had left. They had bonded, overcoming the fear that lingered between the two. Now, from this moment on, Gaius was not fearful of what lie before him. He knew he could trust the old soldier as much as his father had, and for the first time, was excited by the adventure he was about to embark on.
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