by Mari Carr
“Oh hell yeah, he does. That’s it. I’m going to Wyoming.”
“Good,” Paul said loudly. “You go north and you demand he give you the respect you’re owed. Don’t take no for an answer.”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” she said, walking toward the hallway. Seth had promised to always be hers. An idea flashed and she decided to give Seth a lesson in what exactly that word meant to her. “That asshole is going to get his. Mark my words.”
Thomas and Chase were standing in the foyer watching Jody stomp up the stairs when Paul came out of the living room.
“Where’s she going?” Thomas asked.
Paul grinned. “To Wyoming.”
Thomas ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “How the hell did you convince her to do that? I’ve been trying to get through to that stubborn girl for days.”
Paul leaned his elbow on the banister. “What reason did you give her to go to Seth?”
“I told her she needed to swallow her pride and let the man explain to her why he had to leave.”
Paul rolled his eyes as Chase laughed.
“Amateur,” Paul teased. “The best way to get Jody to act is to stoke her anger, get her fired up. She’s madder than a wet hen, and I have a feeling that emotion isn’t gonna simmer down until she’s standing in front of Seth.”
Thomas swore under his breath. “Shit.”
Chase crossed the room and put his arm around Paul’s shoulders. “Sounds like Seth better have a damn good reason for leaving her or he could get hurt.”
Paul chuckled. “As mad as she is, he might want to protect all the protruding parts of his body.”
“Or just the important one,” Chase joked.
They all glanced toward the top of the stairs and Thomas cursed again. “Christ. The poor guy won’t know what hit him by the time she’s done.”
Seth sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office with Silas and JD on his fourth day home. They’d run a gazillion tests on the poor guy two days before. The doctor had called the ranch earlier and asked them to come in. Seth knew it was bad news. Doctors had no compunction about telling someone they were fine over the phone. Face to face meetings weren’t good.
They’d been cooling their heels for nearly an hour. The nurse had come in twice to apologize. Apparently there’d been some small emergency. JD offered to come back tomorrow, but the nurse refused to let him leave. None of them had said anything in the last thirty minutes and Seth felt like he was about to come out of his skin, his mind whirling over his father’s health and Jody.
She hadn’t called since he left her in the cabin. He’d tossed and turned every night, worrying about what her silence meant. In his note, he’d promised to give her time to make her decision. He’d also vowed to stand by her decision. Problem was he didn’t know how much time she needed and he’d thought she’d call to tell him one way or the other. Between worrying about her and JD, he was living with a perpetual headache.
“Mr. Compton,” the nurse said, opening a door between the waiting area and the examining rooms. “The doctor will see you now.”
JD rose slowly, Silas and Seth following suit.
“You boys don’t—”
“Save your breath, JD,” Silas interrupted. “We’re comin’ back with you.”
JD nodded, muttering, “Headstrong, stubborn, pigheaded.”
“Fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Seth joked, wishing these next few minutes were already over. His stomach was in knots.
They walked into the doctor’s office and Seth was surprised to see a young man sitting behind the desk.
“Where Doc Cahill?” JD asked.
“This isn’t his area of expertise. He referred your case to me,” the young doctor said. “Mr. Compton, I’m Dr. Philips.”
“You can call me JD. These are my sons, Seth and Silas.”
The doctor shook their hands and then gestured that they all take a seat. “I’m an oncologist, Mr. Compton.”
The word oncologist hit Seth like a punch to the chest.
“Yeah. I figured that much,” JD said.
Dr. Philips walked behind his desk and resumed his seat. He picked up a medical chart and opened it. “You have stage three pancreatic cancer.”
Seth looked at Silas. One look at his brother’s face told him he understood exactly what those words meant.
Dying. Their father was dying.
“How long do I have?”
JD’s question told them all he knew the prognosis as well.
“Mr. Compton, there are—”
“Dammit, man, if you can say cancer, you can say JD. Something tells me you and I are gonna be spending a bit of time together these next few months. Let’s do it on a first name basis. I’m JD.”
Seth almost felt sorry for the young doctor. It was clear he was new to this practice. Treating JD would certainly be an initiation by fire.
“My name’s Ron. Ron Philips.”
“Well, Ron. It’s nice to meet you. Now, I’m sure you’ve got a whole spiel ready to lay out for me and I know my sons are gonna want to hear it. Before you do that, let me tell you a few things. I’m not doing radiation and I’m not doing chemo.”
“JD,” Silas interjected.
“No, son,” JD said. “I’m not going to spend what time I have left sitting in a hospital.” He turned back to the doctor. “There’s no cure for what I’ve got, right?”
Dr. Philips shook his head. “There are things we can do to try to prolong your life, but no, ultimately this type of cancer is fatal.”
JD nodded. “Thanks for your candor, Ron.”
“God dammit, JD,” Seth exploded. His world was falling apart. “Can we just ask a few questions, maybe get some options before you dismiss everything out of hand?”
JD put his hand on his shoulder, and Seth swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He refused to break down, refused to cry, even though every part of him wanted to yell at the top of his lungs about the injustice, the unfairness of this situation. “Seth, it’s gonna be okay. Hell, I’m nearly seventy. Had a good long haul with a pretty gal and four boys a man can be proud to call son. Can’t ask for more than that.”
Seth sat stiffly, fighting desperately to hold it together.
“Now, you boys go ahead ask Ron your questions.”
Silas leaned forward, his face creased with pain, though Seth wasn’t sure if it was his leg or his heart that was bothering him more. “Mom’s gonna wanna know how long.” The words sounded like they were being ripped from his brother’s chest and Seth felt a new ache as he considered Vicky. Losing JD would kill her.
Ron cleared his throat and Seth found a new respect for the young man. It couldn’t be easy working day in and day out with patients who were facing death. “Maybe a year. More likely less than that. Five to eight months is probably a better estimate.”
“Five months. Jesus,” Seth whispered, unable to hold the words in.
“Well, hell,” JD said, rubbing his chin. “That doesn’t give us much time. I was hoping to get you more settled at the ranch, Silas. I know you’ve still got about a year of physical therapy ahead of you for your leg and—”
“I’m moving home,” Seth said, cutting off his father’s words.
JD turned to him, frowning. “I can’t ask you to leave Texas.”
“You didn’t ask.” Seth crossed his arms over his chest and dared his father to contradict him.
JD chuckled. “Like looking in a mirror sometimes. Nothing I can say will change your mind, will it?”
Seth shook his head. JD reached out and put his hand on Seth’s shoulder. Seth was surprised by the strength in his grasp. He’d bet his whole life savings that JD would make it an entire year.
“It’ll be good to have you home again. Thank you,” JD said softly. The words were his undoing. Seth nodded and rose quickly. He had to get out of the room, out of the stifling air before he lost it.
He looked at Silas and figured the desper
ation in his face must’ve showed.
“Why don’t you go get the truck?” his brother said. “Me and JD can finish up here. We’ll meet you out front.”
Seth nodded stiffly and headed for the door. He felt like a jackass for leaving, but too many things were crashing in on him at once. His life was moving too fast. He was losing everything that mattered to him.
Jody. JD. His life in Texas.
As he considered the last, he realized that wasn’t a loss. Texas meant Jody and without her, that place wasn’t anywhere he wanted to be.
Compton Pass was home. It was green mountains, Vicky, his brothers and JD.
A small choked cry escaped before he could call it back. He walked out the front door and sucked in a long, deep breath of fresh Wyoming air. Looking back over his shoulder, he studied the small square office building. Such an innocuous place. It seemed like a place that tore a man away from his father should look more like a prison or a rundown slum or hell on earth.
He cleared his throat and swiped away the wetness on his face. He wasn’t going to cry in front of JD or Silas and God knew he had to pull himself together before they faced Vicky. He needed to be strong for her.
His cell phone rang and he rushed to pull it out of his back pocket, praying it was Jody. A quick glance at the screen told him it was Sam. Seth took a second to compose himself before answering.
“Hey, bro,” he said, his voice sounding too husky.
“Hey, Seth.”
Sam’s voice sounded nearly as gruff as Seth’s. Of course, the fact that his brother was calling him pretty much guaranteed shit had hit the fan. Either that or Sam had sensed the crushing weight on Seth’s heart despite the two thousand miles between them. It wouldn’t be the first time one of his brothers had reached out in a moment of need. More often it happened between the twins, but sometimes it happened to them all.
They may have chosen different paths, but in times like this, they stuck together. Sam had achieved his dreams of landing a big city job by working long hours as he climbed to the top. Personally, Seth couldn’t understand the appeal of living in a noisy, smelly city like New York, but Sam seemed to thrive in the smog.
“What’s wrong?” Seth wished without hope that his brother had called to help instead of piling on more misery.
Sam fell silent for a second. “Who says something’s wrong? Where are you? You sound…fucked up. I thought poker night wasn’t ’til Wednesday. Are you hungover?”
“No. It’s not… Look, I c-can’t think right now. Focus on the point. You called me. Pardon me for saying so, but you don’t sound like you’re skipping through daisies yourself.”
“I’m coming home.”
Seth surrendered. He plopped onto the gravelly grass at the edge of the parking lot when his legs refused to hold him. He tried to process his brother’s words. The bitterness in his brother’s tone made it clear he considered this a curse rather than a blessing, but it couldn’t have come at a better time for the family.
“Thank God.”
“What the hell?” Seth pictured Sam finger-combing his ultra conservative haircut. “I tell you my cock ruined seven years of hard work for one moronic, not-even-that-great fuck and you say Thank God?”
“Yeah.” The lump Seth had managed to swallow reformed in his throat. He needed to say the words. He needed to explain how utterly their world had changed even if his brother didn’t know it yet. God, if he couldn’t tell his brother without falling apart, how could he expect to be worth shit when they told Vicky. “It’s JD.”
His tone said it all.
“What the fuck? Seth! Don’t stop now. Jesus. What’s going on back there?”
Seth cleared his throat and forced the ugly truth from his lips despite the fact saying the words made the horror seem more real. “JD has pancreatic cancer, Sam. He’s dying.”
There was no sound from the other end, and Seth cursed himself for giving his brother news like this over the phone.
“Christ,” Sam choked, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll be home tonight.”
“When does your flight get in?” Numbness settled in Seth’s core. They couldn’t fix this, but having Silas and Sam with him would help. “I’ll pick you up.”
“Six hours from now. Don’t worry. I’ll find my own way. You have more to worry about than me.”
If Sam only knew. Jody’s sweet smile flashed through his mind. “Don’t be a dumbass. I’ll always be there for you. We’ll talk on the ride in. I could use an ear myself, okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” Sam mumbled as if to himself. “Pancreatic cancer. There’s no hope, is there?”
“Not for JD.”
Then Sam said the one name Seth wasn’t ready to hear. “Sawyer.”
Seth closed his eyes. As hard as it was to tell Sam, Sawyer would be a hundred times worse. While he and Silas and Sam thought JD walked on water, Sawyer was convinced their father created the water. “He doesn’t know. Fuck. I’m sitting here outside the doctor’s office. Mom doesn’t even know yet.”
He could hear Sam’s heavy sigh through the line, could picture the devastation on his brother’s face. “He’s out at sea. Got that special assignment he’s been gunning for. He left yesterday.”
“How long will he be away?”
“Two months. When he gets back, he has two week’s leave at which point he told me he was turning off his phone and fucking himself into oblivion.”
Seth grinned. That sounded like his kid brother. “Has he decided about re-upping yet?”
“No,” Sam said. “I think he was gonna figure out his future while he’s at sea.”
Seth considered that. “Maybe we should let him make that decision before we tell him about JD.”
“Shit,” Sam muttered. “He’ll kill us.”
“Like you said, he’s not gonna be able to come home for at least two months. Let him have this time to get his shit together. If things take a turn for the worst, then we’ll get him home sooner. Somehow.”
“Okay. So you haven’t told mom?”
Seth closed his eyes wearily. “No.”
“I wanna be there when you do.” Sam’s voice was regaining its strength.
Seth soaked it in. Let it wash through him. “Okay.”
“So I’ll see you at the airport.”
Seth stood up. “Yeah.”
“I’ll text you the flight info. Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re gonna get through this, right?” Sam’s voice took him back. Reminded him of the time his younger brother had broken his leg after falling out of the hayloft. Seth had carried him to the truck, while Sawyer ran to get their folks. Sam had only been ten at the time, and he’d looked at Seth as his savior, asking him if his leg would be okay, if he’d be crippled or walk with a limp.
He said now what he said then. “We’re gonna get through this just fine.”
He hung up the phone, praying his words were true. Seth stiffened his spine and walked toward the truck.
He could do this. All he had to do was put one foot in front of the other.
He could do this.
Chapter Twelve
Seth was surprised by how natural it felt to be back home, sitting around the dinner table with his family. Sam had shown up late last evening. Along with his brothers and JD, they’d broken the news about their father’s cancer to their mother.
Seth had wasted countless hours throughout the day worrying about Vicky’s reaction, but he should have put the time to better use. His mom was the perfect counterpart to her tough-as-nails husband. She took the news calmly, nodded as they spoke and asked quite a few questions. Luckily Silas had been strong enough to stay put at the doctor’s office to get the answers for her.
Afterwards, she simply stood and excused herself. He’d never seen his mother fall apart, never seen a chink in her resolute spirit. JD had followed her out of the room and Seth knew they would comfort each other in private. For her sons, Seth had no doubt Vicky wou
ld continue to put on a brave face, offering each of them a comforting shoulder and a sympathetic ear, but he was concerned how she would handle her grief when JD was gone.
Seth looked around the table, studying the composure of his family and he felt humbled by their strength. JD was calmly discussing a problem they were having with one of the ranch hands with Silas and Colby, while Vicky and Lucy laughed about some local gossip regarding the preacher’s wife and one of the less devout members of the congregation.
Only Sam was unusually quiet. Seth knew there was a story behind his sudden trip home. Something involving a woman. Something painful. He’d pull him aside tonight with a bottle of Southern Comfort and get to the bottom of it. Maybe Sam could offer him some advice in regards to Jody.
They were just finishing up their meal, when the doorbell rang.
“Damn. Who visits at suppertime?” JD grumbled, rising slowly.
“I’ll get it,” Sam offered, but JD waved his hand for his brother to sit back down.
“Naw. I’m the closest.” JD walked out of the dining room and the conversation continued, as Silas and Colby began filling Seth and Sam in on some of the more recent improvements they’d made to the ranch. Seth had been gone a long time and it would take a while to get up to speed on the way things worked at Compass Ranch.
JD reappeared at the doorway. “Uh, Seth. Maybe you should come out here, son.”
Seth felt all eyes at the table looking at him as everyone recognized JD’s bewildered tone. The unshakable man was definitely floundering over something out of the ordinary.
“Oookay,” he said, drawing out the word and rising slowly.
As he walked to the doorway to the front foyer, he was aware that everyone in the room had risen and was following him. He chuckled softly. Nosy family.
His laughter died when he saw Jody standing just inside the front door to his family’s home. She was in her mother’s wedding dress.
She looked haughty and irritated.
She’d never looked more beautiful.
Seth studied her silently, trying to find his words while wondering what the devil she was up to. Finally, he said the first thing that came to his mind. “Nice dress.”