by B. Love
“I love you,” she declared, lips brushing against his, “Thank you for today, baby.”
He smiled against her lips, causing Hali to open her eyes and look into his.
“What makes you think it’s over?”
“There’s more?” her cheeks raised as she cupped his, “I don’t think I can take anymore, Lucas.”
“You’ll take it and you’ll love it.”
Hali squealed and danced in her seat as she waited for Lucas to come and open her door. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into him, and she was too afraid to ask. All she wanted to do was enjoy it.
Lucas opened her door and they walked slowly into their apartment building.
“What’s next?” Hali asked as she pulled her phone out.
She’d had it on do not disturb the entire time she was at the spa and hadn’t had the desire not once to pull it out. The only reason she did then was to check the time.
“Dinner,” Lucas answered, looking down at her phone, “Who blowing your phone up?”
Hali slid her finger through the multiple missed calls and text messages from James, the author of the book that hit the New York Times Bestseller list.
“James. He’s the one who’s doing good numbers right now. Do you mind if I call him back?”
“Not at all. Go for it.”
Hali waited until they were in her apartment to return his call.
“It’s only going to take me a second to change clothes,” she assured Lucas, to which he nodded and slipped out of his shoes.
“Hali,” James answered, relief apparent in his voice, “I’m sorry to have called so much, but I really needed to speak with you.”
“That’s okay. What’s going on, James?”
Hali sat next to Lucas and rested her head on his shoulder.
“I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m in the process of getting ‘Me and My Boring Life’ turned into a cartoon series. We pitched it to Nickelodeon about six months ago and with it doing so well they’ve decided to pick it up.”
“That’s great, James! Congratulations,” she praised genuinely.
“Thank you. I was calling to see if you could meet me in Orlando tomorrow morning? It doesn’t feel right working with anyone else but you on the graphics for this project. Would you be interested in being the main illustrator for the show? Of course you would have to temporarily move to Orlando, but once we got everything up and running…”
Hali’s phone slipped from her hand and fell onto the floor. Lucas grabbed it and tried to hand it to her, but she sat there frozen in place. He shook her shoulders gently, face covered with concern. Lips moving, but Hali heard none of the words that came out. She watched as he put her phone to his ear to see what was going on through her watery eyes.
Feeling overwhelmed, Hali stood to go and get a bottle of water, but her weakened knees made her sit back down. She ran her fingers through her hair and palmed her face as her legs and head began to shake.
She had to be hearing things.
Surely James didn’t just offer her what she’d been wanting to do for years – illustration for a cartoon show.
This couldn’t have been her life right now.
As her tears began to fall her ears began to work. She heard Lucas tell James that he would have her to call him back as soon as she was able to. His hand went to her back and he caressed it as she pulled in deep lungs of air.
“Was he just playing?” she asked through her palms.
Lucas pulled her hands down and wiped her face.
“He sounds legit to me, angel. Congratulations, Hali. I’m so proud of you. When are you leaving?”
Her eyes opened and met his. Leaving? As in Memphis? And him? And Luca?
“The meeting is in the morning he said, but…”
“So we need to find you a flight out tonight,” Lucas said more to himself than her as he pulled out his phone.
She watched him for a few seconds… giving her mind time to wrap around what was happening. It was all going too fast. One minute she was getting ready to change clothes for dinner and the next he was booking her a flight out to Orlando?
“Lucas…”
“If you want me to go with you I will. I’m sure Tommy and Jackie won’t mind keeping Luca tomorrow as well as tonight.”
“Baby…”
“I’ll book your flight. You can go ahead and start packing a bag. Looks like the next one that you’ll be able to take out is at ten.”
“Lucas,” she repeated, more firmly this time as she took his phone out of his hand.
“What’s up?”
Hali placed his phone between them as her eyes started watering all over again. As her palpitating heart felt as if it was about to stop completely.
“I need some time to think about this.”
“What is there to think about, Hali? You said this was one of the things that you wanted to do, right?”
“Right, but… not… I mean I guess I wasn’t expecting it to happen this soon. And not all the way in Orlando. My family is here. And Ana’s about to start her own. And I just got you and Luca. I don’t want to lose all of that when I don’t necessarily have to. I’m already living my dreams and doing what I love and getting paid very well to do so. It’s not imperative that I do this right now.”
Lucas shook his head. He tugged at his dreads gently like he usually did when he was in deep thought.
“Hali, this opportunity has literally landed at your feet, and you’re considering not taking it because you’re comfortable with your life here in Memphis? Baby, you can come and visit Luana and the baby. Your family ain’t going nowhere. I’m pretty sure Miranda and YaYa will be down there with you as much as they possibly can…”
“And what about you and Luca?” she interrupted, taking his hands into hers, “It’s not fair to keep uprooting him. He needs stability. Your warehouse is here and you’re working on your store. It just makes more sense for you to stay here. At least for the time being.”
“I’m not arguing with that.”
They shared a brief moment of silence before her grip on his hands loosened. She looked away from him and licked her lips. Swallowed hard. Her heart started working again. Beating rapidly. Twisting. Aching.
“So how would we make this work?” she asked softly, finding his eyes.
Lucas shrugged and smiled, but the happiness that was in his eyes a few minutes earlier was gone.
“I don’t know, but we will. People have long distance relationships all the time.”
Hali’s head shook as she stood and put some space between them.
“We’ve had a long distance relationship since we met, Lucas. Our hearts have been apart for years. I’m tired of that shit. It’s finally right between us now and I don’t want to risk that for anything.”
Her tears started falling again, and Lucas pulled her into his chest.
“Stop it,” he ordered softly into her ear before kissing it, “Nothing’s going to change between us.”
“Then why does it feel like it is, Lucas?” Hali turned to face him, feeling even more discouraged by the saddened look in his eyes, “I don’t want to lose you. I love you.”
“I love you too, and that’s why I can’t…”
“No!” she yelled, pushing herself out of his chest, “Don’t! Don’t do this to me again!” she pleaded, mind being overtaken by thoughts of his wedding day all over again, “Don’t use your love for me as an excuse to do something that’s going to break my heart.”
Lucas ran his hands down his face and kept them there as he chuckled in frustration.
“Then what do you want me to do, Hali? I can’t tell you not to go for this. I can’t hold you back like that, baby. But you’re right; I can’t leave Memphis right now. No, I don’t plan on staying here forever, but I can’t leave now. So what do you want me to do?”
“I want you to act like you love me just as much as I love you!”
“You think I don’t?!” he yelled, hi
s anger rising to meet hers. Lucas closed the space between them and towered over her, making her stance soften slightly, “If I didn’t love and care about your ass I would’ve told you to stay here. To put me and my desires above your own, but I can’t do that, Hali. I’m not selfish like that.”
She chuckled quietly and shook her head as she took a step away from him.
“I wish you were,” she admitted, voice tired and jaded… just like her emotions, “At least then we maybe would’ve had a chance to make this work. But you’re so selfless and so loving that you’re going to just… let me go… and all that we’ve been building is going to fade with distance and time. We’re not built for long distance relationships, Lucas. We’re too needy. You know that,” she turned her back to him and covered her eyes with one hand while the other rested on her waist, “But fine. If you want me to go I’ll go.”
“Of course I don’t want you to go,” he corrected with a softer voice, taking her hand into his and pulling her back into him, “But I don’t want to hold you back either. I know I’m going to be sick as hell around here without you, but every day that I wake up knowing you’re doing what you love that will give me the strength I need to make it through until I can get to you. And you better believe me and Luca will be flying out as much as we can to come and see you.”
Her forehead went into his chest. Lucas stroked her back gently. This was a first – arguing with a man because she loved him and didn’t want to be without him. The thought made Hali smile. She looked up at Lucas, and he wasted no time covering her lips with his.
“You need to call James and confirm your attendance at the meeting tomorrow morning so he can send you the details. I’ll go with you if you…”
“No,” Hali took her phone from off the couch and rubbed her heart absently, “Stay here. I need to get used to being without you again anyway.”
She hadn’t even gotten it out all the way before her voice was breaking and her eyes were watering all over again.
“Hali…” he called, but she ignored him as she continued to her room where she could unload her conflicted emotions in peace, “Hali…”
14
Lucas
His plans were ruined. They were supposed to go to dinner and on a scavenger hunt. Her prize? A ring and his marriage proposal. Instead, they spent the rest of the night apart from each other.
Lucas had gotten so used to sleeping with her on his chest that it actually felt heavier without her on it. Not even Luca could lift that weight. Lucas spent half the night pacing across his room and the other half tossing and turning in bed. As always, it felt as if he’d just gotten to sleep when his alarm went off. As much as he wanted to stay in bed he got up and got Luca and himself ready to take Hali to the airport. Against her wishes.
Not only did she not want him to go to Orlando with her, but she also didn’t want him to take her to the airport. While Lucas understood her frustration and hurt, her fear is what stood out to him the most. There had to be more to it than her fearing losing him and Luca, but without her opening up to him there was no way for him to find out.
Their ride to the airport was silent. She spent most of it looking out of the window, catching her tears before they could slide down past her unnecessary shades. Luana met them there to say goodbye and wish her good luck. She offered to keep Luca while Lucas walked her inside, so Hali lowered herself in front of him to say goodbye.
She didn’t speak right away. Just… ran the tips of her fingers against his facial features.
“Howie has to go out of town for a couple of days,” she informed Luca, smiling softly, “I’m going to call you every night before you go to sleep, okay?”
Luca nodded and wrapped his arms around her neck. She hugged him back and laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever to Lucas.
“I love you, Luca. Be good for your daddy, but drive him a little crazy for me.”
Hali kissed his cheek, then stood and hugged and kissed Luana.
“Good luck, best friend, although you don’t need it. You’ve got this in the bag, booboo.”
“Thanks, Ana. I love you.”
Luana’s expression changed. As if there was a hidden message behind Hali’s words that only she caught. Luana released her and stared into her eyes.
“I love you too,” she declared quietly.
They held hands for a few seconds more before Hali turned and walked away. She found her place at Lucas’ side but kept a nice amount of space between them. Their silence continued as Hali checked her bag. And as they searched for her boarding gate. When he could no longer accompany her, they stopped in front of the security check and faced each other.
“You’ll call me when you land?” he asked, pulling her into his chest by her shirt. Hali nodded and tossed her arms around him. She lowered him to her and buried her face in his neck, “Please don’t start crying, Hali,” he begged, holding her just as tightly as she held him, “I love you. I’ll see you in three days.”
What he thought would make her release him only made her hold him tighter.
“I love you too,” she muttered. Her arms fell from around him, but she remained in his personal space, “I’ve been thinking; maybe we should just end this now. I can’t… give you the love you need if I’m hundreds of miles away. And it’s not fair for someone else to be in and out of Luca’s life. The both of you need stability, and I can’t give you that.”
Lucas laughed for a second, but it turned into a lingering smile. Hali’s face twisted up in confusion as he looked down at her with amusement filling his eyes.
“You can’t seriously think I’m about to let you break up with me?” Lucas asked with an even wider smile.
“Lucas, I…”
“I told you I run this shit,” he reminded her, taking her by the chin when she tried to step away from him, “If anything, your ass gon’ marry me as soon as you get back to Memphis. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and my son, and the fact that you’re standing here wearing shades to hide your puffy eyes and pain while trying to spare me and Luca only makes me love you more, Hali.
We are going to be fine, baby. Trust me. Trust me to lead us. You know how important it is that I make sure Luca has a healthy childhood. If I felt like you were going to weaken his chances of having that I wouldn’t even be here. Have a little faith in our love,” Lucas removed her shades as he added, “We’re going to get through this.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Okay,” she sniffed twice and inhaled deeply before hugging him again, “Never mind, then.”
Lucas laughed as he hugged her back.
“You have got to be the most dramatic woman I’ve ever met. You and Ana kill me with that shit.”
“Whatever.”
Hali removed herself from him with a smile as Lucas went into his pocket.
“I want you to hold something for me while you’re in Florida. Something to remember me and Luca by.”
He watched her watch his hand, and all of the nervousness he thought he would feel in that moment was absent. This was the woman he was meant to spend the rest of his life with. He knew it and she knew it… far sooner than either of them wanted to admit to it. How could she possibly say no?
“What is it?” Hali asked innocently, looking from his pocket to his face. Lucas smiled and pulled the black velvet box out, “Oh… my…” her hands covered her mouth as her eyes watered. She took steps back from him until her back bumped into the post gently.
“Get back over here,” Lucas ordered, getting down on one knee with a smile. Hali walked over to him slowly with tears fleeing her eyes, “I had this special proposal planned for yesterday, but… it didn’t work out like I wanted it to. But I can’t let you leave Memphis without knowing just how committed I am to you. For so long you’ve been my friend, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having you as my girlfriend.
But I want us to take this to the next level, angel. I want to exper
ience you on every level. As my wife. The mother of my children. My business partner. My life and healing partner. I don’t really want to ask you because I don’t want to give you the chance to say no,” Lucas smiled and bit down on his lip, “But will you marry me, Hali?”
Her eyes closed as she nodded her head and held her hand out for him.
“Yes,” she whispered through quivering lips.
Before Lucas could even get the ring on her finger good she was using her hands to cover her face. He stood and embraced her as she cried harder.
“What’s wrong, Hali? I thought you would be happy?”
“I am happy,” she sobbed, clutching his back tighter, “I’ve just waited for this for so long… I’m a little overwhelmed,” she acknowledged.
Lucas chuckled as he pulled her face out of his chest. He wiped her tear stained cheeks as she fought to keep new ones from falling.
“My fear of being loved no longer exists. If anything, my only fear now is not taking full advantage of the privilege that I’ve been blessed with to love and be loved by you. I know it took us a while to get here, but I promise you, I’m going to spend the rest of my days filling you with all of the love you could ever want and need.”
On the tips of her toes, Hali took his cheeks into her hands and kissed him for as long as her smile would allow.
“I love you… so much, Lucas.”
“I know,” he let his own smile appear before kissing her again, “I love you too.”
Epilogue
It was hard getting Lucas to trade in his high-rise apartment for a brick home with a white picket fence, but he did so lovingly after he and Hali were married. They had their ceremony one month after his proposal, and three months after that they moved into their new home. The good thing about their new neighborhood was that it was a few blocks away from Jaxon, Luana and their firstborn, Justice. Jaxon was still doing great work for the city, and Luana was one year away from graduating with her law degree.