by C D Swanson
“Thank you doctor, what do you think it is? Is it a virus or flu?” she asked without conviction.
“I prefer not to speculate at this time. As soon as we have all the tests back, we’ll contact you and sit down to speak.”
“Doctor, please…be honest. Is there a chance that she could be out of remission?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yes, there’s a possibility. But, let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet. I’ll get to you as soon as I have the results. In the meantime, try to relax and stay positive,” he said noncommittally.
“Thanks…” her voice trailed off, as the tears welled up.
“Sarah, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Let’s just wait and see before we get crazy.” Jacob put his arms around her and stroked her head ever so gently.
“I agree Sarah. Is there anything I can do?”
“No thank you Kelly. You’ve done more than you can imagine.”
Sarah suddenly recalled with a chill what the doctor told her that if the cancer came back, it was going to be more aggressive than before, and she was going to need a bone marrow transplant to survive. She didn’t want to think about this. Not now. She loved her so much, as if she was her own.
“Sarah, how about we bring you something back to eat or drink?” Kelly asked with concern, feeling uneasy herself at this current turn of events. Her heart was breaking for both Candy and Sarah. And, surprisingly, she felt sick to her stomach as well. She really felt as if they were all family.
“Thanks Kelly… but I’m not hungry. Perhaps a bottle of water is all.”
“Okay. Jacob?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
She hugged Sarah tightly, and walked away to get her water. She hoped good news would come soon.
“Jacob, I love this child so much. I don’t know how I would handle…”
“Sarah, don’t go there! You don’t know what’s going on yet. Stay focused and positive,” he said soft-
ly.
They both stared at the floor, and didn’t say one word further. All Jacob knew was his heart was beating fast, and he didn’t want to scare Sarah. But he had a dreadful feeling about this. He loved Candy. She was a darling. He said a prayer in his head. The whole time they sat in silence, Sarah never let go of his hand. This was going to be a long wait.
He looked at the two of them sitting there holding hands. He began to fume! He couldn’t believe that she was interested in that homeless bum! That piece of garbage! She deserved better than him.
He ran down the steps and out to the parking lot. He got into his car and sped away. He was on a mission tonight. He had a lot to accomplish. He needed to exert his power and control over the bums. All of them!
He pulled out his night stick and placed it on the passenger seat. He couldn’t wait to use it! He started smiling already. He looked into the mirror and saw his eyes flickering and sparkling! Soon he’d be feeling good really soon.
Chapter Sixteen
Sarah woke up when the nurse came into Candy’s room. She slept on the fold out cot, not wanting to leave her side. Candy woke up in the middle of the night and wanted Sarah to stay, so she promised she wouldn’t go anywhere.
“Good morning Candy. Good morning Sarah.”
“Melissa…hey,” Sarah responded in a quiet voice.
“Hello Missy,” Candy’s little voice greeted her favorite nurse.
“Well young lady, you’ve missed us huh? Is that why you came back to pay us a visit?” Melissa winked while touching Candy’s tummy in a playful manner.
“I missed you… but I don’t want to stay for very long, I want to go home soon,” her voice low and weak, yet still filled with determination and spark.
Sarah swallowed looking at Melissa helplessly.
“Well, we’ll see what we can do young lady, in the meantime, I need for you to take this medicine. And, then I want you to eat your breakfast. What do you say Candy. Can you do that for me please?”
“Oh sure.” She sat up and did exactly as Melissa asked.
The doctor walked in and after saying hello to Candy, quickly asked to speak with Sarah privately.
“I’ll be right back Candy. I have to speak with the doctor for a moment.” She kissed her forehead.
“Hurry back mommy,” her voice rising with anxiety.
“I’ll stay with you honey until your mom comes back.” Melissa offered in comforting tones.
Sarah followed the doctor into the conference room, her knees almost giving out a couple of times. She didn’t remember when she’d ever been this nervous about anything in her life. Her heart was pounding so loudly she was sure the whole hospital heard it.
“Sarah, I’ll get right to it. I’m afraid it isn’t good news.”
Sarah sat down immediately upon hearing the doctor’s words. She felt weak and wanted to wake up before she heard the news. This had to be a bad dream.
“Her blood count is way down. Her bone marrow isn’t doing what it is supposed to any longer. Her red cells are way down—her platelets and white cells are really low too. Her body’s going into defense mode with the fever. She was tired from all this going on in her body. We’re going to give her a blood transfusion right now.”
“Can she get chemo again?”
“I’m afraid not. The chemo wouldn’t do anything at this point. She needs a bone marrow transplant. It’s her only option right now.”
“What happens if we can’t find a match?”
The Doctor looked down, that spoke volumes, no need to speak. Sarah felt her heart explode and didn’t know how to handle this situation. She felt panic rising, tears burst forward onto her cheeks, streaming swiftly downward making their way over her lips before dropping to the ground.
“You mean she will…” her voice trailed off.
“I’ll place her on the donor list immediately, and pray for the best. Sometimes it takes forever to find a match, and there are times…it never happens. However, a match can come forward, you just never know. You have faith Sarah, so now is the time to start praying.” He touched her hand and rubbed it waiting for her to fully realize what he just said to her.
She was shaking as she cried and felt like she was going to pass out. She couldn’t believe what was happening. Everything was going so well in her life. And, now this?
“Sarah we’ll put this on the donor list—it will go throughout the entire USA…We have had success with it, more times than not. There is always hope for a match. In the meantime we can start with you and anyone else that you know who will want to try. It’s merely a swab in the mouth, takes a matter of minutes to do.”
“Okay, but we’re not related as you know.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s true that a relative is the best option, but there are many people who have found matches that are not related. So, bring anyone forward and we will test. Prospective donors must be between the ages of 18-60 and in general good health. Testing is simple, and involves a swab of cells from the inside of the cheeks. Swabbing takes less than 5 minutes. The donor is then entered into the bone marrow registry. If identified as a match, the next step involves collecting a blood sample. That blood sample then will be evaluated by the patient’s transplant center to see how well the patient and donor match to determine if the donor is in good health. Donors will be contacted by telephone or mail if they’re a potential match. In Candy’s case, if it’s one of you or your friends, we’ll contact you immediately.”
“Okay. Thank you Doctor. Please do me first,” her voice was desperate and tired.
“Sure, I’ll have the technician come to Candy’s room for the swab sample.”
“Okay…Doctor, if any of us are a match, what happens next? How is the procedure done? Is it painful for my little girl?”
“If results from the confirmatory typing show that the individual is a match, the transplant center may request a physical exam and health history evaluation. This begins with an information session, and is followed by tests to make su
re the donor is healthy enough to proceed with the donation. If the donor is medically cleared based on the results of a health history screening, and a physical exam, he or she is scheduled for the donation. Depending on the request from the transplant center, the donor will be asked to donate either bone marrow or blood stem cells. Bone marrow is collected from the rear of the donor’s pelvic bone. There is no cutting or stitching, as the procedure involves a needle aspiration, performed under an anesthetic. Typically, the donor enters a medical center’s outpatient facility in the morning and goes home in the afternoon. In the United States, this procedure is used less than 20% of the time. Is this too much for you right now? I’m giving you quite a bit of info here…” Her face was ashen and he didn’t want to overwhelm her with statistics and medical jargon just yet. She was still absorbing and desperately trying to process the jarring information she had just received.
“No, please continue. Are there any risks involved? Sarah wanted to push forward and know everything, as much as she could to be prepared for what was to come.
“Okay. Well, like any invasive procedure, there will always be risks, no matter how small. All risks are explained in an information session if you are a match, and outlined in the consent forms that a donor signs at the time of workup, and for the actual procedure. Generally, risks associated with donation through the hip would be those pertaining to general anesthesia, like any procedure requiring anesthesia. Other risks might include infection at the needle site, nerve damage, etc. Adverse events are unlikely and have only occurred in less than one percent of donations. By the way this is pretty interesting… Bone marrow regenerates within four to six weeks. Donors can give marrow many times throughout their lifetime. The person will remain in the registry list until sixty-one years of age.”
He looked at Sarah and noticed how scared and distracted she was. He was a consummate professional, but it didn’t get any easier delivering disheartening news, he felt their pain. It was difficult, no matter how many times he’d done so in the past. It was something he’d never get used to, and if he did… that would be the time for him to retire. “Sarah, I love Candy too…I wish there were better news to deliver, I’m so sorry,” he said in a sincere voice.
“I know. But you’ve helped me considerably. You’ve given me hope with the chance of a prospective donor match. Thank you.”
He touched her hand and gave her a reassuring smile, before adding, “Sarah we’ll work around the clock to find someone, I promise.”
“Thank you.”
The Doctor slowly walked away, leaving her with her thoughts. She sat for a moment to collect herself… she didn’t want Candy to see her this way. She needed to be strong for her. “Sarah?” She turned as Ruth ran over to her sobbing.
“Oh Ruth she needs a transplant. If she doesn’t get one she could…”
“Ssh…don’t even say it aloud. We’ll find her a match if it’s the last thing we do. I’ll be tested too. We will find a donor. We can put it out there. We’ll make a pledge for people to come forward. We’ll find someone Sarah, have faith. Okay?” Ruth reassured her best friend and hoped she sounded convincing because she truly was scared inside.
“Thank you Ruth,” she managed to say.
“Sarah, we love you and Candy. There are so many people that’ll come forward, you watch and see. I bet we’ll find a donor quicker than I can eat a dozen donuts, and you know how fast this mouth can eat.” She winked and touching her stomach to support her claim. She managed to make Sarah smile, albeit briefly.
She stood up and wiped her eyes and prepared herself to see Candy. She had to be strong for her now. She owed it to her.
“Ruth, before I go in there, I need to go to the chapel. Will you go and sit with Candy and tell her I will be right back?”
“I sure will,” Ruth agreed readily.
“Thanks.”
“You going to be okay Sarah?”
“Yes…just stay with Candy please. I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”
“Take your time…I’ll stay with her.”
Sarah walked down the steps into the chapel. She kneeled in front of the cross. Then, she started to pray to God for His divine favor, and for His grace in helping Candy.
“Oh my Lord, my God…I come to kneel before you in your entire splendor. I come before your throne my God. Oh Father I beseech you, please help my little angel. Please Father, I know you can do anything. There isn’t anything too big for you to handle. Nothing is bigger than you my Lord my God. Please, I’m on my knees in supplication, Lord. Please help my little girl find a suitable donor. I’m asking You for a Christmas miracle…please bring a donor to our door that’ll be the perfect match for Candy. Please,” she sobbed and cried out loud and was now fully prostrated on the ground to God. “God, please—she’s barely five years old! Please don’t take her from me. She has her whole life ahead of her…if You grant us your divine favor that she may live a long healthy life. Oh God please help her. Let a donor come forward soon. But, Father, I know, not my will, but Your will. So whatever Your will is, I will accept it. But I probably won’t understand…for Your ways and Your thoughts are not my thoughts, my God. So I bow to You and Your endless mercy, and Your compassion and Your love-and cry out! My God, arise O Lord, please save her, oh my God—please save my little girl in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Jacob came into the chapel and saw her on the ground crying out loud. He began praying silently behind her. Tears cascading down his face too. He walked outside and didn’t let her know he was there… it was a private moment between her and God. He couldn’t believe what was happening. She was so sweet, so young. He would give his life for her if he could. This little young child had her whole life ahead of her! Why? Why do these things happen?
“Jacob?” He turned to see Sarah before she ran into his arms.
“Jacob! My little doll is so sick.”
“I know Sarah. But, we’ll find a donor. I’m going to be tested too. So is Kelly. We all are. And, if none of us match…she’ll be on the national registry donor list. There will be something. I have faith and I know God will bring a miracle to our doorstep. I know He will,” his voice was strong and filled with conviction supporting his faith.
She was sobbing loudly. People passing by were looking with sad faces. He held her and rocked her gently in his arms, until she finally stopped wailing.
Chapter Seventeen
Ruth was busy taking calls for the “Homeless Shelter Project” but couldn’t stop thinking about Sarah and Candy. This was too horrible to conceive. That little child, and so many like her, running out of time. It hardly seems fair. Sarah was so happy. Everything was going her way until now and right before Christmas. It’s tough enough under normal circumstances, but holidays always heightened sorrows when riding through the low valleys in life.
“Hello Ruth, any word from Sarah?”
“No Florence. But, she said she’d be back sometime today. So we’ll know when she comes around later.”
“Ruth?”
“Michael! What a surprise!” She kissed him hello. She forgot all about him her mind so occupied with the circumstances swirling by so quickly.
“These are for you. Happy Birthday.”
“Oh Michael. Is it my birthday? I truly forgot.”
“Wow! Okay, so what’s going on? The woman I fell in love with demands birthdays and doesn’t let anyone forget it either,” he teased.
“Thank you for these beautiful flowers.” She sniffed the lovely bouquet with its heavenly scent.
“What’s going on?”
“It’s a long story, and sorry I haven’t been able to tell you anything sooner…But to encapsulate for the sake of brevity, Candy’s cancer returned. It’s pretty aggressive, and it looks like she’ll need a bone marrow transplant this time around.”
“Wow…Okay, but they can do that right?” His face registered genuine concern.
“Well, yes…”
“Yes what?”
; “They need to find the perfect match. That isn’t exactly easy. Sometimes they never do…”
“Don’t even go there. They’ll find someone. In this day and age with all of the technology, and ways of finding and connecting donors…She’ll have someone to provide all she needs and more. I know it…have faith.”
“I hope so. Oh, Michael I don’t know what Sarah will do if something happens to that young child.”
He pulled her into his arms and held her, “Ruth, they’ll find someone. In the meantime, I’ll get tested as well?”
“You’re amazing, thanks Michael. Yes, I’m going as well. We can go together if you’d like.”
“Sounds like a plan. In the meantime, do you get time to have an early dinner?”
“Yes, of course. Let me just tell the staff and give Sarah a call.”
“Okay, I’ll be right outside,” his voice supportive and strong at once.
“Thanks Michael…Hello Sarah, I figured I would get your voice mail. Please let me know what’s going on as soon as you have the chance. In the meantime, I am going to take a dinner break with Michael. We are both going to be tested to see if we’re possible matches. Don’t give up Sarah. It’ll happen. Just believe and keep looking up. See you later, I love you kiddo.”
She hung up and held the phone to her chest for a moment until Michael looked in and asked, “Are you ready?”
“Yes, all set. I have to tell the receptionist on the way out, then we can go. I’m really hungry too,” she said in a small voice.
“Good, I have a big surprise for you at the restaurant.”
Ruth walked to the front desk in the lobby and said, “Hello Priscilla, I’m taking a dinner break. If anything urgent comes up please just call. Sarah may or may not be back later. Take messages and try not to say too much. See you later.”
“Okay Ruth, see you later. Please give Sarah my love and tell her we’re all praying for Candy.”
“Thanks, I will.”