by Croix, J. H.
“And maybe you’re just the girl for the job,” Tess said.
Susie thought she might get skid marks on her tongue because she had to bite it so hard to keep from swearing. If she didn’t want the whole world to know Jared pushed her buttons and then some, she couldn’t go around losing her temper just because her friends teased her about him. She rolled her eyes at Tess. “I’m sure I could be the girl for the job, but it’s not one I want.”
Conveniently, the waitress arrived to deliver their check. Susie took the moment to take a faux bathroom break and gather herself. She was not up for parrying about Jared tonight, not when her friends were uncomfortably close to the truth. By the time she returned to the table, she managed to make her excuses and get the hell out of there.
As she drove home, she wondered how to stop feeling the way she did. Before her fated kiss with Jared, a teensy tiny part of her might have admitted she was more attracted to Jared than anyone before. But then…the kiss. Oh, that kiss. It had been over a year and not a day passed that she didn’t think about it. Jared irritated the hell out of her half the time, and the other half—holy hell, all she did was fantasize about him. Then he just had to go and be an amazing kisser.
When she pulled up in front of her house, she banged her forehead on the steering wheel. “Damn, damn, damn.” She lifted her head, brushing her unruly curls out of her face. All by herself and she was blushing like crazy. She needed to talk to someone, but doing so meant sharing a few details she’d rather not. She was the strong friend, the together friend, the one who played matchmaker and who always had a quick comeback. The only friend who had glimpsed the her underneath all that was Hannah, her best friend since elementary school. But Hannah had missed a few details while she’d been out of state at graduate school and grieving the death of her parents. And Susie hadn’t quite found the time to fill her in.
The main detail being that Susie had somehow never managed to lose her virginity and here she was thirty-one years old. Oh and this might have happened because she narrowly avoided getting date-raped by some asshole who slipped something into her drink one weekend when she was in Anchorage. Up until then, she’d had been a fun-loving flirt. Perhaps she’d made it a little further than most with regard to her virginity, but it hadn’t been because she was uptight. Just because she was choosy.
But her choosy radar must have been turned off that night. She’d thought Tim was cute and fun. He was of one of the common tourist types that visited Alaska—outdoorsy, and handsome. She’d been up in Anchorage with her mother and decided to stay an extra night to stock up on shopping. Nothing cued her that Tim might not be a decent guy. Until she woke up, woozy, out of it, and with him tugging her jeans off. Though she couldn’t even see straight, she fought like mad. She knew to this day she was lucky he didn’t care to fight too hard to rape her because she might be feisty but she barely topped five feet. She came out of it with a few bruises while he left her hotel room swearing, bright red scratches on his face.
That had been the last time she’d been anywhere close to being intimate with a man. She hadn’t meant for it to be like that, she just couldn’t seem to let down her guard. She’d convinced herself being single was a choice of freedom and tried to ignore the corner of her psyche that doubted her instincts and shied away from intimacy. She was strong and independent. Though she was more romantic than most, she focused all that energy on her friends, committed to making sure they weren’t dumb enough to let the good guys blow by. Until Jared came along.
Susie swore and climbed out of her car, stomping into her house. She bought this house herself when she moved back home after college. Diamond Creek was home and always would be. Her parents would have been happy to let her stay with them as long as she wanted. But she had needed to make it on her own. Reeling from anger at herself, frustration that she hadn’t the courage to track Tim down and press charges, she’d thrown herself into making an independent life for herself. A few years later and she was known as the best accountant in town and had her own home. It was a small, cedar A-frame with purple trim and a wrap-around deck. As with almost every house in Diamond Creek, it had a lovely view of Kachemak Bay and the mountains across the water.
Diamond Creek was situated on the shores of Kachemak Bay, one of Alaska’s coastal jewels and a massive tourist draw from spring to fall. Kachemak Bay detoured off the Cook Inlet, an inlet that stretched from the Gulf of Alaska in the Pacific Ocean to the bustling port of Anchorage. Anchorage was the hub of Southcentral Alaska. The Kenai Peninsula sat south of Anchorage, and Diamond Creek was located toward the southern end of the peninsula. Susie was an Alaskan girl, through and through. She enjoyed trips to Seattle and just about anywhere, but Diamond Creek was home. She savored the wild edge, the immense beauty, and the independence and quirkiness that Alaska fostered in people.
Susie shook her raincoat and hung it on the small coatrack by the door. She flicked on a few lights and glanced around. It was cold, dark and rainy, and she was glad to be home. Realizing her feelings for Jared might be obvious to her friends made her want to jump out of her skin. How could she explain why it would never work with him? And why, oh why, did he have to be the man who made her think twice about her plan for being permanently single?
There was a soft scratching at the door. She flung it open to find her cat, Jasmine, looking irate and wet. Jasmine raced through the door, promptly jumping on the kitchen counter and shaking. Susie found Jasmine last spring when it was still too cold at night. After a few hours of wondering what was scratching under her porch in the night, Susie shined a flashlight underneath and found Jasmine, then a kitten, shivering. Jasmine was a smoky gray feline with a streak of feistiness tempered by her sheer adoration of human affection.
“Jasmine, you’re soaked! I didn’t know you were out all day.” She went to the small laundry room off the kitchen and grabbed a towel, briskly rubbing Jasmine with it. Jasmine purred like mad, rubbing into the towel, her irritation at being outside instantly gone. Her gray fur tufted up all over once she was dry.
After changing into warm, dry clothes, Susie curled up on the couch and flipped through the channels, Jasmine snugged up against her side, purring audibly. Thoughts of Jared crept into her mind, and Susie sighed.
Chapter 3
Jared tossed a salmon toward the cooler.
“Dammit, Jared! How about you actually look next time you throw a fish?” Nathan exclaimed.
Jared turned to look and burst out laughing. Nathan was seated on the bench beside the cooler in question with a salmon on his lap.
Nathan shook his head and chuckled. “You’re lucky I’m a good sport. Getting a slimy fish on my lap means I’ll stink the rest of the day.”
Jared shrugged. “Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’t realize you were right there. Should I point out it’s kinda hard not to smell like fish when you’re fishing?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “For you of all people to say that when you make it seem like fishing isn’t even messy. If I threw a fish on your lap, you’d be pissed, so you might as well appreciate my good attitude. You’re the master of tidy. You manage to avoid the slime. Don’t pretend like you don’t either. I don’t know how you pull it off.”
Jared merely shrugged again. No need for him to agree with Nathan when it was obvious. He took good care of his gear and if any fish slime got on him, he hosed it off as soon as he could.
“You wanna grab a bite at Sally’s when we get in with the crew?” Jared asked, moving on from the errant salmon throw.
“Sure. Tess’ll probably want to meet us there. That okay?”
Jared nodded. “Of course.”
He looked away, moving to step behind the steering wheel. They were coming in from a two-week commercial fishing run for sockeye salmon. He and his brothers ran a commercial and sport fishing business, The One that Didn’t Get Away. They usually took the crew out for dinner when they got back to harbor after the longer runs. Jared looked ahead at the
shores of Diamond Creek. Otter Cove Harbor was visible now. The town’s boat harbor was tucked into a small cove. Wooded hillsides rose up around the cove, spruce trees marching up the mountains behind. Diamond Creek was built into the hillside and looked out over Kachemak Bay. He glanced behind him. Mount Augustine, a volcano, sat in the distance, silent and majestic.
A few hours later, he pushed through the swinging door into Sally’s, which was bustling tonight. He’d called ahead and reserved a big table for the crew. He was halfway through his hamburger when he saw Tess making a beeline for Nathan. Susie walked behind Tess. All he had to do was see Susie, and it was as if someone flicked a match in the air around them—it crackled and sizzled. Heat crept through his body, and his pulse shifted gears. His body had all kinds of ideas about Susie, no matter how many times he tried to talk his body down.
Relationships were messy. He liked his world to be sensible and predictable. The mix of someone else’s emotions in his daily life invited mayhem. He’d tried it before, and it had been…discombobulating. He’d even come close to getting engaged, an experience that illuminated how confusing emotions could be. Trying to make sense of it made him tired and feel half-crazy. He found being single to be much simpler. He could live life on his terms and not worry about how someone else felt.
And Susie. Well, she’d take messy to a whole new level. She was brash, funny, assertive and so damn sexy he could hardly stand it. About a year ago, he’d lost his mind and given in to what he’d wanted to do for too damn long. He’d kissed her like his life depended on it. And not a day passed since then that he didn’t think about it.
“Hey there,” Susie said.
Her brown eyes were wide and bright, always with a glint of knowing, like she could see right through him. Her brown curls were just…wild. They tumbled every which way, bouncing around her shoulders. She swiped one out of her eyes, looking at him expectantly.
He bought some time by taking a swallow of beer. He needed a minute to try to get his mind off how damn sexy she was. “Hey there. How’s it going?” he finally asked.
Susie shrugged. “Fine. Just fine. Did you get the spreadsheet I sent over?”
Jared had to force himself not to stare at her breasts. She was all curves. The night he’d kissed her, before he could stop himself, her luscious breasts were in his hands. And even now, a year later, all she had to do was get anywhere near him and his hands practically itched to touch her. Get a grip. This is Susie. You do not want to get tangled up with her. About that point, he realized he’d yet to answer Susie’s question.
“Just got in from fishing today. I’ll check my email tonight and catch up. What did you send over?” he asked, trying to tamp down the irritation he felt. He was irritated with himself for constantly feeling off kilter with her, which in turn made him irritated with her. It was as if she held the secret key to make him lose his cool.
Susie’s eyes searched his for a moment, a flicker of confusion in them. “It’s the quarterly report you asked me to send,” she said pointedly. “You wanted me to change the spreadsheet layout, so I did.” She shook her head, releasing her breath in a huff.
He was fairly certain his blood pressure literally rose. As usual, he wanted to do one of two things: swear and walk away from her, or grab her, drag her out of here and finish what he started that night. But because Susie was who she was, his sister-in-law’s best friend and a good friend of practically everyone he knew, including himself, he couldn’t do either one of those things. He took a few swallows of beer and a deep breath instead.
“That I did. Forgot for a minute there. All I’ve been thinking about is fish,” he finally replied. When he looked into her eyes, his heart pounded, and he was damn glad he was sitting down so no one would notice that he was hard as a rock.
Susie nodded and gave him a bright smile that looked a tad forced. “Of course. Fish, fish, fish. Anyway, when you get a chance, let me know if the spreadsheet is set up the way you wanted.” She glanced down the table. She started to move to the other end. “Call me about it if you need any other changes,” she said, not bothering to look his way again.
Jared breathed a sigh of relief when she moved out of his immediate vicinity. When he and his brothers first moved to Diamond Creek, they’d gotten to know Susie pretty early on. Jared had thought she was cute because she was. Those wild curls, laughing brown eyes and curves were cute…and sexy as hell, but he tried not to think about it. She’d become a friend over time and ran an accounting business, By the Numbers. She was a bang up accountant—detail oriented, a math whiz, computer savvy and ruthlessly efficient. Not to mention that she beat him at his own game half the time. Whenever he asked for something, such as the spreadsheet in question, she’d have it to him sooner than he asked and better than what he wanted. Somewhere along the way, his unwanted attraction to her bloomed before he noticed it.
Luke sat across from him, chowing down fast. He looked up and chuckled.
“What?” Jared asked.
“Whenever Susie gets anywhere near you, you get irritated about nothing. And then she walks away and you can’t stop looking at her,” Luke said with a sly grin. “Like now.”
Jared realized he was staring in Susie’s direction and whipped his head back to face Luke. “Seriously, dude? Don’t you have anything better to do other than watch me?”
Luke kept on grinning. “Not when watching you get all twisted up over Susie is more fun.”
Jared had to force himself to take a deep breath and not take the bait. He took another bite of his hamburger.
Luke’s eyes sobered. “Just joking around. But seriously, Hannah thinks Susie’s got a thing for you. Maybe you won’t admit it, but she’s pretty awesome. About the only woman who doesn’t drool over you around here.”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Women don’t drool over me.”
Luke shook his head. “You choose to ignore it, but it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. Come on, man. You’re like candy because you’re so unavailable. I’ve told you for years that your rule about no relationships is stupid.”
“Yeah, yeah. You’ve pointed that out. I’m not like you and Nathan. Relationships are messy. I’m fine by myself.”
Luke gave him a long look. “You know, I was as committed to staying single as you are. And for similar reasons, so I get it. Maybe the details were different, but you weren’t like this until you got burned by Jen. Seeing as you’re only two years shy of forty, you might want to move on one of these days.”
Jared swallowed and stared at Luke. “What the hell? Do we have to have a deep conversation right now? My age has nothing to do with this. Jen is old news. I got over her years ago. What makes you think she has anything to do with anything now?”
Jared shoved his annoyance with Luke down. He wanted to tell him to shut the hell up, but that wouldn’t help matters. Jen was his ex from back when they lived in Seattle. He’d been set to ask her to marry him when she’d broken it off, offering the contradiction that he was ‘too intense and held too much back’. She also claimed she wasn’t ready for commitment. Jared didn’t like to talk about it, but it had hurt like hell. He meant it when he said he was over her. But a few years of avoiding serious relationships made him see how much easier it was. His mother had finally stopped dropping hints and seemed to have accepted that he planned to stay single and be the favorite uncle to their grandkids.
Luke eyed him and shrugged. “I’m not saying you’re pining after Jen. Just that after she broke it off, you changed. You’d never been into the casual thing before and since then, it’s the only thing you’ll consider and barely. I think maybe you think it’s easier. That’s all.”
“It is easier,” Jared said flatly.
Luke chuckled. “In some ways, maybe. Look, I didn’t mean to turn this into much. Just thought maybe…nothing,” he said with a shrug.
Conversation moved on. A bit later, Jared realized his eyes were following Susie as she left. He’d never admit it, but Luk
e was right. He couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of her, even when he tried. And damn if that didn’t annoy him. He prided himself on being on control. Susie tested that simply by existing.
***
The following morning, Jared stood by the windows in his small cabin and looked out over the bay. He’d moved out of the home he used to share with his brothers when Tess moved up here. Nathan had tried to talk him out of it, but it didn’t make sense for Nathan to move when the last thing Jared needed was that big house all to himself. He’d rented a cabin down the road. It was small, practical and came with an astounding view of Kachemak Bay. The back of the house faced the view and was floor to ceiling with windows. The cabin was a small gambrel style home. It consisted of a basic kitchen and living room area with a bathroom downstairs and an expansive loft upstairs that served as the bedroom. It was open, airy and bright with more than enough space for him.
The wind was up this morning, white caps dotting the water. Clouds scuttled across the sky, coasting in front of the mountains across the bay. His yard was a small patch of grass surrounded with fireweed that would bloom in late summer. He sat down at the kitchen table and flipped open his laptop. He plowed through some email and opened the spreadsheet Susie had asked him about last night. It was precisely as he’d requested.
And for some reason, that annoyed the hell out of him. Luke had gotten under his skin last night. Between his irrational attraction to Susie and Luke noticing it, Jared wanted to do something to shake it off. So he was annoyed at Susie over a spreadsheet. Now that’s irrational. Get a grip.
He stalked into the kitchen and poured a fresh cup of coffee. A few sips later, he talked himself out of asking her to make more changes. To a spreadsheet. His mind went from spreadsheets to Susie’s curls and curves. He swore, set his coffee down and went to change to go for a run.
A solid hour later, he slowed his pace as he approached his cabin. He’d taken off on one of the longer loops he ran through a few local trails and connecting roads. He waved when he saw his friend Travis drive by and walked onto the back deck. The run had barely started to burn off his restless energy. What he couldn’t figure out was why his mind jumped on the hamster wheel of Susie so much these days. He didn’t like to admit it, but he’d wanted to kiss her for quite some time before he’d given in last year. He didn’t think he would have were it not for the circumstances. Hours of holding it together in the driving rain out on rough seas had worn his defenses down.