by Croix, J. H.
Her breath was slowing. He snuck a glance at her. Her eyes were still closed, which gave him a moment to observe her unguarded. Her brown curls were a riot on the pillows. Her lips were swollen from his kisses. He knew her body better by feel than sight, so he savored the view—her breasts were full, the soft pink of her nipples an unholy temptation, her rounded belly and hips were heaven. He didn’t want to pull away, but knew he needed to. Though he was no expert, he knew she’d be sore. He’d tried to keep his pace slow and measured, but he’d lost all sense of control toward the end. That was a first for him.
He closed his eyes and took a slow breath. He’d been furious with her when he’d felt her arch in pain against him. She was so tight, tighter than he’d ever felt. He’d known in that instant she’d been a virgin and hadn’t bothered to tell him. This, after she casually tossed out that they should have a one-night stand to get this out of their systems. As he’d predicted, he didn’t think it would be so simple. Because if his body had anything to say about it, he could go for another round right now. He slowly shifted his hips to withdraw from her and roll away. He tossed his condom in the tiny wastebasket on the far side of his night table. When he rolled back over, he saw blood smeared on her thighs. Though his mind thought he should be angry, he wasn’t. Oddly enough, he believed the gist of her explanation. She wasn’t one to hold onto her virginity out of prudishness. Though he sensed there might be a bit more to the story, he wasn’t up for pushing the topic just now.
Susie’s eyes opened, and she rolled her head to the side. Damn if he didn’t want to curl up against her and start all over. For once, her eyes weren’t sharp and knowing. They were warm, brown and sated, and he simply wanted to tumble right back where they’d been. Susie with her defenses down was passionate beyond measure. If he’d thought about it, he could have guessed that. She felt things strongly—good and bad. That oomph was nothing but amazing when it came to sex.
With a shake of his head, he stood and strode into the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. He returned to the bed with a warm washcloth in hand and carefully wiped the blood from her. She was quiet, a blush washing over her entire body. He tossed the washcloth in the sink. He paused to look outside. The sun had almost dropped out of view, a curve of red and gold crested the mountains. The light had faded, cool air blew in through the windows. He turned to the bed and gave a quick tug on the lightweight down quilt, yanking it from under her. She squeaked and glared at him.
“Hey!”
He chuckled. “Hey yourself. It’s getting cool. If we don’t get under the covers soon, you’ll wish we had,” he replied matter-of-factly as he climbed into bed beside her and tossed the quilt across them both. Warm summer days in Alaska quickly turned to cool evenings and even cooler nights. Jared liked fresh air, so he kept his windows open almost constantly in the summer.
He didn’t want to think—at all. Because if he thought too much, it wouldn’t help matters. Matters like the fact that he didn’t even consider whether she’d stay the night, and the fact that he’d just had the most amazing sex of his life with a woman who drove him out of his mind. He penchant for control was lost at the moment. Instead, he curled against Susie, tucking her into his side, savoring the feel of her soft skin and curves.
“Jared?”
“Mmmhmm?”
“You said we had to talk.”
“Changed my mind. We can talk later,” he replied, not wanting to wonder if they’d just ruined a pretty good friendship and not wanting to even think about what it meant that he’d been the first for her. All in all, it was too much to consider when he’d rather lose himself in how good she felt. He promised himself he’d keep it under control, but he couldn’t stop his hand from wandering over her body, savoring her softness and lush curves. He heard her breath start to slow and become even. He followed her into sleep with his hand curled around one of her breasts.
***
Early the next morning, Jared woke with Susie curled against him. Upon waking, he was already hard. Since he’d given up thinking he could control his body around her, he chuckled. He had a moment of consideration when he attempted to talk himself out of making love to her again, but he rationalized since they’d already blown through that barrier, no sense in not enjoying at least one more time before he had to face whatever it was he had to face because of this.
So he set himself to feast on her body. He heard her gasp when his mouth closed over one of her nipples and grinned against her skin. He knew she wouldn’t admit it, just as he wouldn’t to her, but he loved that he could make her lose control. She shifted at his side, her fingers curling in his hair. He kept moving, licking and kissing his way down her belly. He slipped his hands around her hips, savoring their fullness. He slid one finger inside her channel, smiling with satisfaction at the slick moisture. She gasped his name. He’d never given a damn if women called him by name, but with Susie—oh dear God, it was gratifying. So he slid another finger in, testing her. She didn’t flinch, only raised her hips to press into his hand. He set to work, bringing his mouth to join his hand, savoring the salty taste and sheer pleasure of watching her fall apart. Only after he’d brought her to orgasm once and to the brink several times did he slide up her body. Her eyes were wild—dark with passion and intent. She tugged him close and kissed him, like only she could, her tongue tangling wildly, nipping at his lips.
He was so lost, he almost forgot to put a condom on, but remembered just as he was about to shift his hips. He swore as he rolled to the side and fumbled in his nightstand, quickly putting the condom on. He forced himself to go slowly, concerned she might be sore. If she was, he couldn’t tell. As he slid inside her, he felt almost drunk from how good it felt. Her velvet channel hugged his cock, clenching around its length. She curled her legs around his hips, urging him on. He bracketed her face between his elbows, keeping his weight off of her, but savoring the feel of her breasts against his chest as he stroked in and out of her. Her head tossed and he felt the pulses of her orgasm begin. He plunged into her heat, driving deeply, and felt his own release roll through him. He opened his eyes to find hers looking up. A flash of feeling washed through him, and he wanted to tell her it would be okay, but he didn’t. Somehow, if they were just physical, he could keep himself from thinking too hard. He kissed her and shifted to the side. The only sound was their labored breathing, which slowed in unison.
Eventually, Jared pulled out of her and rose. In silence, she followed him out of bed. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t find words. The intimacy woven around them was disconcerting. He thought perhaps he should say something, but silence was a refuge from how shaken he was by what had passed between them since last night. He ushered her into the shower and followed her in. They showered, not a word spoken between them. Downstairs, when they were both dressed, he finally spoke.
“Do you want breakfast?”
Susie shook her head, her curls bouncing. “I have to get home and let Jasmine out. I, uh, guess I’ll see you when I see you.”
He looked over at her, feeling uncertain and with no idea what to say. So he nodded. Susie turned to leave, and he followed her out onto the deck in front. Just as she started to walk down the stairs, he spoke.
“I guess maybe we should try to talk sometime soon.”
Susie looked up. Her eyes were uncertain and vulnerable, and his heart clenched.
“Probably. How about we call it a day for now?” she asked.
“Sure. I’ll, uh, give you a call soon,” he replied, thinking he sounded like an idiot and feeling out of control. The calm, steady control he relied on was out of his grasp.
She nodded and briskly walked to her car. With a quick wave, she was gone.
***
Jared went through most of the day completely out of sorts. He couldn’t stop thinking about Susie, which pissed him off. He’d gotten pretty comfortable with his situation of no serious involvement. It meant he didn’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings,
or his own. In an effort to get her out of his mind, he went for a grueling run on one of the more difficult trails that carried him from sea level to nine thousand feet up and back down a mountainside. Utter fail on wiping Susie from his thoughts.
Next, he busied himself with a trip the harbor to make a few boat repairs, and clean and organize gear. The sun was high in the sky, and it was approaching hot while he worked. He was glad for the break when Nathan stopped by to pick up a few things for storage.
“Hey man, how’s it going?” Nathan asked as he stepped over the side of the boat, immediately flinging himself on a bench and lounging. As the youngest of the three brothers, Nathan excelled at making it seem like he wasn’t doing anything. Jared knew the opposite to be true. Nathan was a tireless worker and rarely complained.
Jared sat across from him and tugged his work gloves off. He wiped his forehead on his sleeve and caught the water bottle Nathan tossed his way. “Thanks,” he said before taking several swallows. “Going okay. How about you?”
“Good. Always good,” Nathan replied with a grin.
“That’s all you ever say since Tess moved up here.” Jared experienced a flash of envy at how easily Nathan had settled into love and marriage. Nathan’s relationship with Tess appeared uncomplicated and clearly made him happy. Jared wondered why it couldn’t be like that for him with Susie and promptly wondered what the hell he was thinking.
Nathan’s grin widened and he shrugged. “Yup. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Seriously man. You should reconsider this whole ban on relationships you have. No sense to it, and you’re missing out.”
Susie flashed through Jared’s mind again. For just a moment, he wondered what it would be like to wake up with her everyday. He swatted the thought away. “I never said I had a ban on relationships,” he replied, cringing internally when he heard the defensiveness in his tone. “I only said relationships were messy.”
Nathan grinned and nodded. “And the right mess is worth every minute. That’s the part you gotta figure out. With the right person, it’s all worth it.”
“Won’t argue with you there. Between you and Luke, that’s pretty obvious. Not so sure for myself.”
Nathan tilted his head, his grin fading. “Okay, I know I’m your baby brother so you don’t have to listen to me. But maybe you should expand your horizons and open the door to the idea that it could work.”
A flash of irritation rose in Jared. He tamped it down. “Expand my horizons?”
Nathan rolled his eyes. “Dude, you don’t even look at anyone unless it’s obvious they are totally cool with nothing more than a roll between the sheets. Any of those women who give off even the mildest vibe they might want more than that—you don’t even consider. That’s what I mean. Stop ruling people out. That’s all.”
Jared forced himself not to snap at Nathan. “Got it. How about we agree I’ll try to ‘expand my horizons’, but you back off and realize it might not be that easy?”
Nathan grinned and nodded. “Whatever you say. I didn’t come here to lecture you. Let’s get started.”
In short order, they’d carried several loads of gear to Nathan’s truck for cleaning and storage, and Jared started the drive home. As he drove through town, he found himself pulling into the parking lot at Susie’s tiny office. An unfamiliar truck was parked there. Jared immediately wondered who it was and realized he was being ridiculous. It wasn’t as if he and his brothers were her only clients. Walking into the office, he found Susie seated at her desk, focused on paperwork in front of her while a man Jared had never seen sat on the edge of the desk, looking way too comfortable. Before Susie looked up, she laughed at something the man said, which infuriated Jared.
“Hey there,” Jared said.
Susie’s head whipped up. She swiped a few loose curls out of her eyes, a flush staining her cheeks. “Hi. I didn’t know you were stopping by,” she said, her words measured.
The man remained seated on the edge of her desk and gave a small wave of greeting to Jared. “Dan Cantwell here, dropping by to discuss our accounts with Susie.”
Jared nodded tightly. Get a grip. You cannot be jealous of some random guy in Susie’s office. Incredulous didn’t quite capture how he felt. He realized he hadn’t replied and forced himself to speak.
“Jared Winters,” he said with a nod toward Dan. “Do you, uh, live around here? Don’t think I’ve seen you around before.” He knew it was ridiculous that he had to know, but this guy was more comfortable than he wanted any man being with Susie. He wondered if he’d truly lost his mind. He knew before it even happened that it would be a mistake to let his attraction to Susie get out of hand. It had officially gotten out of hand. Here he was, attempting to clarify just who the hell this guy was so casually sitting on Susie’s desk. He knew damn well it wasn’t someone she was having sex with because before last night, she’d been a virgin.
Dan, oblivious to Jared’s mental gymnastics, shook his head. “Nah. My wife and I live down the road in Homer. But I work on the North Slope, so I drive through Diamond Creek every other week. Susie’s the best accountant around, it’s worth a stop,” Dan replied with a grin.
The North Slope was shorthand for working on the Alaska pipeline. The money made the travel worth it, so many people traveled up for two weeks of work and returned home in between. Jared could care less where Dan worked, but he was relieved, and simultaneously annoyed with himself for being relieved, to learn that Dan was married.
He nodded and forced himself to make casual conversation. “Susie’s definitely the best accountant around. Speaking of…” he glanced at Susie. Her expression was guarded. “Have you had a chance to tweak that spreadsheet?” As soon as the question left his mouth, he recalled she’d gotten annoyed with him about the spreadsheet in question last night.
She nodded tightly. “Already fixed it.”
Dan glanced at his watch and stood up. “I gotta get going. Have to catch my flight in Anchorage.” He looked to Susie. “As always, thank you! Joan said to tell you that your mother’s zucchini was amazing.”
Susie rolled her eyes and laughed. “Glad she enjoyed it. I spend half my summers trying to pawn my mom’s zucchini off on people, so it works when it’s appreciated.”
Dan said his goodbyes and left. The room fell quiet once Dan left. Susie stood and walked around her desk to the file cabinets. She put some files away and walked back to her desk, pausing at the side.
“Did you need something?” she asked, her words sharp.
Jared looked at her and wanted two things at once: to run out of the office and forget everything that had passed between them last night, and to drag her against him and tumble right back to that place between them. Her curls were wild, but then they always were. Her brown eyes were looking back at him with a hint of annoyance. Damned if he could explain it, but somehow when Susie was annoyed with him, he got annoyed with her and that instantly morphed into desire. He forced himself to focus.
“Just what I said. Thought I’d stop by to see if you fixed that spreadsheet.”
She sighed. Loudly. “Let’s be clear. The spreadsheet didn’t need to be fixed because the one I set up before was precisely to your specifications. Which,” she pointed a finger in his direction now, her brown eyes flashing, “…you emailed to me, so there’s no point in arguing because I can show you the emails for proof. So nothing needed to be fixed. You’re just picky and you change your mind. But because I’m a nice person and I try to take good care of my clients, I already made the changes you asked for this morning. So if that’s all you need from me, you have an answer,” she said with flourish, brining her hands to her hips and arching an eyebrow.
Jared was so annoyed with her, he was speechless. His cock was also rock hard. His eyes honed in on her plump lips. Before he could think clearly, he’d taken two strides and leaned forward. “That’s not all I need,” he said bluntly before kissing her.
Susie pushed at
him, tearing her lips away. “What are you doing?! We’re in my office. Plus we have to talk…”
Jared cut her off with another kiss, savoring how pliant her lips were under his. He pulled away briefly. “I don’t care if we’re in your office. And we can talk later,” he said, grinning when her eyes flashed. But she didn’t pull away when he brought his lips to hers again. He loved, absolutely loved, how she threw herself into kisses. There wasn’t the slightest bit of hesitation from her. Her mouth fell open and her tongue went wild against his. He threaded his hand into her curls. He groaned at how good it felt for her soft curves to meld against his body. Just as he slid his hand down over her bottom, he heard the sound of a car. Susie instantly stepped away. He took another few steps back and leaned against the wall nearby, forcing himself to breathe slowly and get a hold of himself.
Emma walked into the office. “Hey, hope it’s okay I just stopped by,” she said.
Jared was relieved Susie managed to respond. She nodded, almost too emphatically. “Of course! What’s up?”
“I think I saw Greg in the parking lot at the grocery store. I tried to call Trey but he didn’t answer and…”
Jared went into action. His lust for Susie was instantly doused. He quickly pulled his phone out and called Darren, a friend and local cop. Before Emma could even ask what he was doing, he started talking. “Hey Darren, it’s Jared. Calling because Emma says she just saw her ex in the parking lot at the grocery store.”